Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
56542Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
My bf of 5 months is kind of difficult to date. I'm not saying I dont have problems cause everyone does but heres the deal.. he's the eccentric type, 'punk style'. He cares about his appearance more than his relationship, and would rather play video games than cuddle with his gf. He tells me he's not into being romantic, though he does buy me flowers the odd time, holds my hand in public and kisses me on the neck when having sex. I find that I'm the one always making the plans to hang out, text first, take time off my schedule etc. I hate that I am the one to always initiate things because it makes me feel like he doesn't care... or try. And when I confront him about these things, he tells me everythings fine and that he doesn't want to end up breaking up with me. He tells me I should 'relax' I guess, but I feel like I cant cuz I feel like our relationship isn't stable anymore and he knows it. So I guess my questions are: how can I fix this 'distance' I feel between us, how can I get him to be more involved in us without making it sound like he isnt trying? And how do i know he isnt interested in someone else? A little background info: I'm 21, he's 24. He's been cheated on in the past. I know he tells his friends good and bad things about me. He has some adhd and a bit of attention deficit disorder (he told me). He's supposed to take meds but told me they make him 'have no feelings' so he doesn't. Hence his 'eccentric' personality. He works hard and has good intentions, but I just feel like he doesn't care about me as his 'gf' even though he says he loves me... help?
It sounds to me that he may just not be the ideal boyfriend for you. You may just be starting to realize that you two may not be compatible as partners.
A relationship is a 50/50 thing and unless you borh work at it, It isn't going to improve. Not all guys are the type to want to be intimate all the time and if that is what meets your needs then you may need to find someone eles.
On the other hand I may be wrong but I am getting the impression that he may be using you. The reason why I think this is because if he isn't showing that he cares and you are always initiating contact then why does he seem to come around during sex? Sounds a little off?
It's a complicated thing, I get it. I am just talking on an outsider's aspect. Communication is a must and if you don't have it, Forget it.
(Rating: 5) I get the feeling that you may be right and you may be right.. I'm unsure though which is why I asked the question.. Anyhow, i know we have some things to work on.