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December 1, 2010Answers:
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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
I am a 17 year old boy. I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. When we first started dating, she was really into me but I was still a bit iffy, which probably was a mistake. Since then, she has really fallen in love with me and tells me often, but I don't quite feel the same way. I do love her and care about her a lot, but just don't feel as good about the relationship as I used to. The only thing is, dating me took her out of a deep struggle of depression which included lots of self-harm. She is very happy to be with me, but I am scared that I am her only sense of happiness and breaking up with her will send her back into depression and she may hurt herself, or worse. The one time we discussed breaking up, she cut herself, but then regretted it and told me she would never do it again. But still. What do I do? I feel pressured to stay in the relationship, and I am still not 100% sure if I want it to end.
As harsh as it may sound, She is a burden to you. Her depression and self harm is something that needs to be addressed professionally, You cannot fix it.
You're obviously unhappy and you need to put yourself first, Nit sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. As you hold onto thread, You will burn yourself out trying to put 100% while she is mentally able to give back 50% at this time.
If she hurts herself, The responsibility is not on you. You do not control the minds of others. This girl is clingy, needy and desperate for your attention. This is not a healthy relationship nor independent. Until she seeks professional help, You need to leave the relationship. Allow her to help herself and grow and sometimes people learn when they have no other choice dear.
One cannot love another if they don't love themselves. A relationship tends to fail if one partner depends to much on the other. In this case, You are her way out of avoiding the fact that she needs help. We can care about someone but we can't allow ourselves to be dragged down either as you have a life of your own to live. You could be off wirh someone eles who is fun, happy and isn't a burden to be around. Sounds like you should find her and not allow yourself to be held back. Fact is, There is no nice way to leave a relationship. A part of life is pain, People grow apart and we go our separate ways. Sure, She may be hurt but she will eventually get iver it. Perhaps this is what she needs in order to focus on herself. We can prolong the pain or we can end it. Choice is yours my friend
(Rating: 5) Wow thank you so much. I honestly did not expect to get any sort of response.
I agree with you, that it's bad for her to be so dependent on me and that being in a relationship is not good for her in the long run. But the fact that I do care for her greatly, and always will (whether romantic or non-romantic) is keeping me from doing anything that may result in her sadness or harm. I know that her previous cutting and the more recent incident of cutting are not just acts for attention, though, as she told me right after and regretted it and promised she wouldn't do it again. Thank you for this insight though. I never really thought about the fact that it isn't my responsibility. I will give it a little bit of time.