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December 1, 2010Answers:
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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Hello, so I am just curious if anyone has found any strategies that work a little better when trying to break up with someone.
I have tried for a year and a half to make my current relationship work mostly because I am too nice and partially because my boyfriend has serious issues with depression and I wanted to help him. But he hasnt been able to get better in fact only worse so it is not time to end it.
Except I'm a chicken. We are both 21 so young and I personally have only broken up with one other person in my whole life. As far as I know I am the first relationship hes had. We dated for two and half years. We have amazing history like the best time of my life with him. So it makes it harder, sad and the worst part is I don't want to hurt him.
So I'm wondering what I can do to soften the blow, we are on a break right now because I told him I need time to think and he is going crazy. Texting me every day, telling me things will be different, begging me not to break up with him, that I am the only person for him, that I am the person he wishes he was and knows he can be again (because we were so similar when we met, but he completely changed when he went into depression). I tell him were just too different to be together and he shouldn't be with anyone right now. But he is telling me all these things that I know he feels and I don't want to hurt him so badly and ruin his opinion of women. Hes begging me right now not to leave him so does anyone have any tips on what to say when I do break up with him to make it less painful? Anything youd like to hear that would make a breakup better?
I know it will hurt regardless, but any tips?
You are clearly not happy from what you have written
Things can't just magically be different, He needs to be willing to help himself. In a period of 2 1/2 years you should hace a pretty good idea of whether ir not to believe he will change.
I suffer from severe depression, I am married. I have been with my husband for more then 5 years abd still today I am seeing counselors and on anti depressants.
My point is, No matter how long or convincing he wants to
Be someone who suffers depression will always be difficult to be around to some degree.
As far as breaking up being hard to do, Someone once told me that sometimes ending it is better then prolonging the pain. Meaning, It hurts more in the end to wait if you know something isn't right.
For you dear, You need to put yourself first. You are entitled to be with someone who can give back as much as you give. We cannot allow ourselves to be sucked into things tgat cause us misery in the end. Your boyfriend may not truly be the right one fir you. Are you happy?.... Do you want to meet someone eles? You decide. From and outsiders view though...you sound ready to move on.
(Rating: 4) Thank you, your advice did make me feel better but I didn't get any tips on what to say to him to make the breakup less painful, and Im really more worried about hurting him than hurting myself because I have known for a while its time to move on