Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Bay Area, CAOccupation:
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24Member Since:
May 26, 2004Answers:
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about
Hello! I am studying esthetics at an Aveda Institute after spending years in retail. I am proof that nothing turns out how you think it will, and that's a good thing. When you think you've got it figured out, you don't. Life would be boring otherwise, right?Makeup, skincare, and psychology are my passions and I'm also happy to give advice on relationships, particularly for teenagers (so many things I wish I could have told myself a decade ago!) I'm happy to help fellow abuse survivors as well.
I'm a diehard SF Giants fan and also enjoy watching the Sharks and Niners. Addicted to music, especially The Gaslight Anthem. Oh, and my name is Krista. :)
advice
Hello!
I have employed two live-in combined nanny girls/housemaid girls/domestic worker girls (who do a lot of worktasks, taking care of our 6 years old daughter, cleaning, cooking, dishwashing/washing, serving and such stuff). For ordinary days, they can wear whatever they want, but special events (like weekends, holidays, parties and such if they're on duty then, I make sure to always have at least one girl on duty every day), I require them to wear a white blouse with a black skirt with a belt and some black shoes, short-length white apron is worn over the skirt (I pay for all these clothes, even extra sets), since I think it's important that they dresses nice, and show a good behaviour.
The girls are 16 and 18 years old, and I know both of them dislike it, but as employees, they have to do this. The youngest girl, who has just been in my employment for some months, seems to be very nervous when it comes to this (serving while dressed in a white blouse with a black skirt).
The first time she was serving, she accidentally spilled over her blouse collar. I told her to immediately dry up, and go putting on a new blouse. After doing as I said, and she apologized. I told her everything was OK, but she maybe would need a little bit more training.
The upcoming times, the younger girl seemed very nervous when serving, but I thought it was just at the start. The girl continued to act what I thought was carless, one time spilling on her left blouse pocket. Some weeks later, I told her to sit down for a meeting, and told her that I can accept her doing mistakes as long as she always do her best, but I can't accept her acting careless.
I soon found out that she was still nervous when serving. I told her just to take a breath, calm down and concentrate at the serving. The girl said she disliked being required to wear those clothes, but I said she has to wear them.
She was sad, but I tried to comfort her, and said that she could train away it. I went to our living room, and told her to come out with a tray, starting in her ordinary clothes. She did it everything well. Soon, I told her to put on the blouse and skirt. I made sure she had done all buttons, and put the blouse inside the skirt and that stuff.
I told her to come out with a tray once again, but now she said she was nervous again. After some training, the girl started to cry, and said she couldn't help it. But as she told she tried to do her best, I just said she would need more training. Then I told her every time she had done everything well.
But still, everything was as usual again, so I summoned for her another meeting, where I also summoned the older girl, who I employed earlier, and told her if she could give the younger girl any tips. I can't recall the older girl being that nervous from the start (except just the first times, but not weeks and months later.) The older girl, who also has spilled sometimes, just said there is nothing to be nervous for, just focus.
What can I do to help the younger girl calming down? I have made one thing for sure: As long as these girls work in my house, they will have to wear white blouse and black skirt for serving, and that's nothing they can change. I know they don't like it, but that's not what I want them to do, just accept it (without complaining). But as she seems to try doing her best, I still want to know how to handle this, hoping she will get less nervous.
Why haven't you asked the poor girl why she is so uncomfortable in her serving outfit?
I'm sure she has a reason.
Perhaps she is just not used to having nice clothes and afraid of messing them up.
However, maybe she is self-conscious about her body and is uncomfortable being seen in a skirt. Why can't you just have them wear some nice black pants instead? It's more practical and will still look nice.
It sounds like she is really scared of you- maybe you need to think about why that is. An unhappy employee will not do a good job and may seek out another job. Remember that they are helping you and treating them rudely will not benefit anyone.
(Rating: 3) Rating changed from a 2 by L2 karenR. The advice was good & had usefulness.