This may be long... I'm 20. My boyfriend is 24. We've dated for about 3 years. He's done the college thing and has graduated. I've been at a local college so we've been able to stay together...but in a few months I'll be going away for my other 2 years of college. We've discussed the fact that it will be best that we break up when I go away. He doesn't want me to miss out on the college experience and being single, and honestly I don't either. But we agreed on staying together until then through the summer.
Last night he broke up with me. It was completely unexpected. This sounds selfish, but I thought that if anyone would bring up breaking up it would be me. It took a lot for him to do it and I know how much it hurt him. Bacially he feels like we have this huge heavy cloud over us (the fact that I'm going away and we'll be broken up) and he can't handle being with me and pretending like hes okay with it. He told me he doesn't want to break up and he loves me, but he feels this is the right thing to do. I can't say I don't agree with him. I'm not bitter towards him at all. I really want him to be happy. But I'm left completely heartbroken.
Anyways, he has always said it is a possibility that we may end up together in a year or two, but he wouldn't want to date again until I'm done with college. He feels that I will "learn a lot about myself" during that time, and will grow from it. He still feels this way, and he says he doesn't want to completely stop talking or completely stop seeing each other.
That said, I'm expecting to have fun in college and meet guys and maybe even date once I am over this. I would like to think that he and I could end up together in the end, if that's what we both want, so I don't want to completely cut communication ties. I will be coming home for holidays and stuff because my college is only a few hours away from home.
So, my question is, should I see him when I come home? Would that just make it harder on us? I feel that since we're breaking up now we will both be over it (well, somewhat over it) by that time anyways. I really don't want to never see him again. We had a really good thing going and we both knew it. The only reason we're breaking up is because of the college thing... and I know we're going to miss each other. Any sort of advice/experience would be extremely helpful. Sorry for the length... thanks so much!
WittyUsernameHere did a great job of answering this but I'll add my thoughts anyway.
Why on Earth would you sacrifice a great relationship, with someone you love and who loves you back for a few hook ups? What do you think you're missing out on? Some immature, drunk boys whose names you don't even know? I've been at university since September and at first getting drunk and fooling around with guys was great. But it gets boring very, very quickly when you realise those flings are meaningless and shallow and now I really regret it. The guys you hook up with in college are unlikely to care about you or love you like your boyfriend does.
If you're planning on getting back together with him after you've finished college anyway then why bother breaking up? Being single and playing the field for a while is likely to do more harm than good for your relationship. If you do get back together, you'll both have to deal with the fact that you spent a couple of years sleeping with other people.
Yes, staying together through college will be tough but you've been together for three years already and you love each other. I'm sure you could make it work if you put the effort in. Please don't throw away a good relationship for the sake of a few college experiences you will almost certainly regret.
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Thank you!!
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