I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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i broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years about a month ago and im still not over him. it didnt even bother him though because he was a total ass to me and even cheated with my best friend on me. i was used, cheated on, lied to repeatedly, he tried to turn everyone on me, used all my money all the time even took it and was not a gentleman, i cant seem to live without feeling me in his arms or his kisses. i miss him so much im crying so hard, iv even ben out with friends all this weekend again and i cant get over him. he is already allover many girls and going on dates. helpp please. how do i get over this (link)
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Hmm, interesting.
I think it's clear that you love him, even though he did all that to you. Otherwise you wouldn't be having this sort of reacting to the break up.
I think it's also clear that this was a very one way relationship, with you being in love with him and for it to have lasted almost two years is quite an achievement.
But, despite everything, there is no quick fix to a broken relationship nor how to get over it. Especially one where the partner has been treating the other like dirt.
Let's use a very current example. Cheryl Cole's broken marriage. Ok, not exactly the same situation as you, but I think it would be a good guess that she's probably going through something very similar to you. Her husband has cheated and lied to her, and she's fought for their marriage for so long but he did nothing. But having to break up with her husband is clearly taking it's toll on her as we've seen. She's questioning as to whether she's making the right decisions over him, and whether she should try and take him back. Would I be right in saying that at some level, you're going through that as well? Actually, after looking back through your question, you've already told me that you are.
One suggestion, would be to try and do things that will distract you from thoughts about him. You went out with your friends, and that's a very good thing to do. But, don't go with your friends and think about him being there. Throw yourself into your friends, laugh and try to have some fun. Go shopping with them and just do things which you know won't make you think about him.
Second suggestion, would be not to think about the good side to this guy, try and think about the other things which he's done to you. It's true that the only memories which you are left with are only the good ones. But, I'm thinking that if you begin to think more about the things which he did to you, then the more you think about the bad stuff, the less you'll think about him. It's a harsh thing, but the fact is, is that the more time you think about the good things, the harder it will be for you to let go.
Third suggestion, talk to a friend, a friend whom you know will listen to you. Sometimes, the best thing which anybody can do is to just talk to somebody about a certain situation. Just ask her to talk with you about it, how you feel, think etc. From personal experience, I know that it's a great way to get things off your chest and to do some self-reflection as to where you are emotionally.
Do reply with anything else you would like to know, or whether this was useful!
Take care,
Triquetra
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