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My friend told me that she is gay and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. It's not that I don't like her as a person but I cannot grasp the fact that she has become a lesbian. Just months ago she was dating men and now she is claiming homosexuality. I don't like it and the entire thing makes me uncomfortable. I'm trying to avoid her now more than ever since she has confessed her sexuality to me and I feel that I need to just tell her to her face why I no longer have interest in our friendship. How should I tell her? What should I say? I don't want to come off as cruel by saying, "You're a homosexual and that makes me too uncomfortable to continue a friendship with you," but at the same time I think it sounds most appropriate because it is the truth.
I know it isn't fair of me to not tell her why I have been avoiding contact with her. I know I should tell her but I'm not sure how I should go about this. I was thinking a neutral setting would be most appropriate but I don't want to embarrass her if she gets upset in some form.
Does anyone have experience with this or any ideas of how I should handle this matter? Thank you.
You don't want to sound cruel but the fact is, this is cruel.
It probably took your friend alot to come out to you and you are just rejecting her. What has changed? Just because she doesn't like men anymore doesn't mean she is a different person. Similarly, it doesn't mean she now has a crush on you, just like you don't have crushes on all your male friends.
Of course she is going to be upset and embarrassed at her friend telling her she doesn't want to see her anymore, it'd be ridiculous to expect otherwise.
You seriously need to rethink your attitude. How would you feel if it was the other way round? I suggest you put yourself in your friend's shoes for a moment. Imagine you made the brave step of telling her something as important as that, only to have her reject you for it?
It's normal to be surprised and have to readjust to something like this but you can't just cut off all ties. Perhaps you should try talking to your friend about it and try and understand how she feels. If you can gain a better understanding of the situation you may feel more comfortable.
If you can't see how selfish you're being, she doesn't deserve a friend like you.
EDIT:
You are entitled to your opinion, but saying that you now look like a lesbian yourself because you were close friends with her is a shallow and immature opinion. Do you look like you are sleeping with all your male friends?
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I do not agree with homosexuality and my friend knows this very well. We have been friends for a very long time and she understands my beliefs and used to share the same ones, as a matter of fact. She is a flip-flop on many subjects and now she has decided to change her sexuality. I will not change my beliefs based on one friendship, no matter how strong it once was. She was aware of my beliefs when she made the decision to "change" and is probably curious as to why I haven't gotten upset with her about this yet. In my eyes, everything has changed. She is no longer the person I thought she was. She has lied to me about important issues. She is no longer the woman I thought she was to her ex-boyfriends--the woman I stood up for many times when her ex-boyfriends treated her, what she claimed as, badly. I have defended her, stuck by her, undressed in front of her, and made myself to look like a lesbian now that she has come out of the closet. (Yes, we were very close friends, doing everthing together) I will not accept having a person in my life that is homosexual in nature. It isn't natural and it isn't right. Selfish? No. I have self-respect.
Thank you for your words but it really wasn't of any help.
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