about

My name is Laura and I'm 28 years old. I live in Illinois and work as a licensed veterinary technician. I am a runner, bookworm and obviously, an animal lover.


I've been on this site since '05. I take hiatuses, but I'm never gone for good. I enjoy giving advice and I've made such lovely friends on this site that I couldn't imagine giving it up!

chat it up yo.


ps. here's my bestestestest friend.
I love him. You will too :)

advice

I dated this guy two years ago. I broke up with him also. Basically, we started talking again a few months ago..and I have feelings for him. He, however, has no feelings for me. But! At first I didn't know that. I kept telling him I like him, me being stupid, didn't pick up on the fact that he never even said he liked me in the first place. All he wants is sex. Whenever we talk, it's hard to have a normal conversation because all he likes to do is flirt and/or do stuff. And, for some reason I feel by talking about other stuff, I'm boring him? Anyway. Last week, I finally had the guts to talk about me and him. I was tired of always flirting and doing stuff with him..meanwhile, he has never told me how he really feels. I said, "I like you still...but, I guess I'll have to get over it because you have no feelings for me.." His response hurt me. All he said was "yeah". He also once said he doesn't want a relationship..but he'll give me benefits? I know I sound stupid for believing that can turn in to him liking me. When he said all that.. I felt so upset. I basically didn't talk to him at all for a few days. I finally knew the truth..he used me :(. Then he randomly texts me the other day saying he's sorry he hasn't talked to me and that he'll talk to me on Sunday. I know he's going to want to flirt and all. That's all he wants me for obviously. But, I don't want to be used. I'm a very nice girl and I treat him good! It's ridiculous. So, how can I tell him that I just want to be friends but not with benefits!?

Oh and before we started dating he was the one always chasing after me. I hate how it changed. :(.
Please help. Thankyou.

The reason he stopped chasing was because you started giving him what he wants/wanted.


Just tell him straight up, "I want to be friends, but I don't want the benefits." Be open, honest, and let him know what you want. It's better to just tell him than to try and kind of, sort of, hint it to him. Chances are, he wouldn't take the hint and you'd still be stuck in this situation.


-Laura (17-f)

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(Rating: 5) thanks. you're the only one who actually answered the chasing part of the question..lol
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