I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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16/f
Ok, well me and my boyfriend have been dating a month now and we talked like a month before we even started going out. I really like him and i am so glad that we are dating. We don't get to hang out during the week because of school work and such, never have time, all that stuff. Well anyways, i only see him in school a second and i don't feel like i am that nice to him. I mean, i am definitly not mean but i don't really act like i like him at all and i recognize that. I REALLY do like him a lot but i just don't know how to show it in person. When we talk on the phone, i am fine and i flirt and stuff but in person i get nervous before i see him and i want to show that i like him since i am going out with him but i kinda can't. I don't really know how to do that anyways in like 3 minutes that we do get to see eachother? What should i do? i mean, breaking up with him is definitly NOT an option because i like him way to much. I also have a moustache and i'm always worried that he will see it so i don't like to look at him when i don't have to. It brings my confidence down a lot!! I can't do anything about it either because my mom won't let me. I just feel like i am ugly and i don't know why he would ever date me. I guess i have two problems in one question. Please help!!
Thanks! (link)
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It appears to me that you really do care about how he sees you and that you don't want to disappoint him with how you look and you want him to only see you looking good. You may not be aware of it, but I suspect that's what's happening.
I think you need to stop worrying as to what he might or might not see and just be who you really are around him. That way, he gets to know you better which will make him more relaxed around you and you get to know him better. Don't worry about your mustache, if you pay a lot of attention to it, then the increased likely hood of him noticing it.
I'm going to take a guess as to why he dates you: maybe because he loves who you are. When people say that they're in love, I sometimes ask as to what they love about that person and they say "because they're hot/fit" etc. and I always say that that is always a bad reason because you aren't loving who that person is. So him loving you for who you are is a good enough reason to date you.
When you talk on the phone, you're more relaxed because you aren't around him so you don't tend to worry about how you look around him so you're more relaxed and more 'fun'.
So, what to do. You need to be confident in how you look because if I was right about him dating you for whom you are, then he shouldn't really care as to what you wear, as long as you're being yourself and not trying too hard for him. When you're with him, take a deep breath and consciously relax and then be with him.
At school, make most of the time with him such as during lunch times and tea or whenever you get the chance to sit together and just talk.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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