Disconnected's advice column

There is a little voice in the back of my head telling me my mom would be better off without me here. And I mean like she would be a better person and have less to deal with. And i dont want to talk to her about it because what if i am wrong? Then she will be hurt and i will be hurt for causing her to be hurt. But i just dont know why i am feeling this way. My parents are divorced and my dad lives in another state. But you see my mom has to take care of me and my grandpa and my step dad and the house. And shen she gets mad she blows up on me for some odd reason. And i dont know what to do. But i cant stay here and feel like im causing her pain and i cant tell here i want to leave because then she will be hurt and either way i am hurting her. Please help me i cry myself to sleep everynight. I would give up my happiness just to make her happy.

Right, even if you have this voice telling you that your mom would be better off without you and it sometimes may seem like it, that's not true.
Parents love their kids a lot, even if they don't show it and sometimes act arrogant.
Unless you are whiny and expect her to buy you new clothes every week, then you wouldn't be less for her to deal with.
Honestly, I can promise you that.
I don't know about your age so it doesn't help me as much but I'm trying :)
When she gets mad, she will blow up on you because she can't blame your grandpa because it's not his fault and she loved her new husband a lot and she doesn't want to blame him either.
I promise you that you haven't done anything wrong but parents sometimes find it easy to blame/take their feelings out on a younger person because she won't be able to argue back or stand up for themselves properly.
It sounds weird but a lot of adults find comfort in that.
Like my dad, if he's pissed off at my mom for some reason, he will blame things on me just because I can't say anything back or I will get in trouble.
It works for them.
If you're under 16 then you should stay put. You shouldn't run away. First of all talk to your mom.
Tell her you get the feeling that you're causing her problems, ask her if this is true.
Perhaps you could help her with your stepdad + grandpa or just the house?
Help her clean the rooms, dust or vacuum and she will notice the effort.
If things don't seem to be working out, maybe you could go live with a close friend or a relative for a short while, but you should still visit your mom at least one a week.

If you're 16 then you could find your own place with her permission. Maybe she will give it to you because she will feel like it'll take the pressure off her. I'm not saying that you're annoying her or anything but maybe she's just hurt because she wants you to have a good life but she can see that it's not working out that way.

Try to talk to her about things. Ask her if she needs any help with things or maybe there's something bothering her. Offer help with the house + the other people living in your house.

I wish you good luck and just ask if you have any more questions.
Maybe you could mention your age?
Then I could give you some more advice that's better suited to your age. Right now I had to give general advice.

[view]

(Rating: 5) Ok well i am 16 and like it seems like everyone but my mom dont want me here and my step dad hates me, not even joking. Dead serious. And i could go live with my dad but i would miss my sister and my neice...

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>