Comrade's advice column

this might sound really stupid but how do you know when your in love? i really really really like my boyfriend but i wouldn't wanna say i love you if i didnt mean it...thing is, we've only been dating for like 3 weeks, for anyone in a relationship how long did it take before you said 'i love you' please dont tell me "you'll know when your in love" cause that doesnt really help...tell me anything about your relationships...thankss.

Love is an emotion, a state of being. It's not a club you join after fulfilling X requirements, like being in a relationship for a certain amount of time. You either have it or you don't. You either know you're in it or you aren't. If you have to ask, that usually means you're not there yet.

It varys by relationship. I've had relationships where I've gone the entire duration without having to say "I love you". I've had relationships where the phrase let slip on Day 2. In my current relationship (Currently going on strong for over two years), the "I love you" came out of the bag before the first month was up.

Relationship length doesn't (or shouldn't) factor in. If you feel you love a guy, who. Conversely, if you don't, or aren't sure if you do, don't feel pressured to. You have all the time in the world, and you stand nothing to lose by waiting.

An old saying goes "If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it". Applied to your case, it would read "If you have to ask, you probably shouldn't".

On a side note, I really pity those who feel that they alone have "love", and have the brass balls to tell others "What you have isn't REAL love. Believe me, I know your feelings better than you do."

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