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about
Hiii everyone (= im Brianna but people mostly call me bee & im the sweet 16. i was born 9 - 9 - 90. i have two younger brothers which makes me the only girl and the oldest. im in 10th grade at HAHS. i plan to either be a pediatrican or an accountant. i have a problem trusting boys. just boys in general. i think because of my past relationship, it made me realize how easy it is to believe a lie. but dont get me wrong, i will give a boy a chance, i just learnd not to believe everything someone says unless its proven to me. i dont really have a best friend actually i consider my mom my best friend. i tell her everything and i cant picture myself hiding something from her. i plan to get married eventually but no kids. im a unique person and i could be trusted with anything. i like to help people out and make them realize things from a different view. so thats what brings me to this site. if you have any questions or need help with a situation, im here (=
advice
(Sorry if this is too long, but I'm just a 17-year-old girl who has no idea what she's doing in this area of her life :3 Never had a boyfriend [or girlfriend for that matter] before, mainly because... I just didn't want one enough to go out and seek one.)
So I've been best friends with this guy for at least five years. However, ever since we've met, he's had a huge crush on me--I'm not sure if it's been on/off or continuous, though he has had a couple of short-term relationships while I've known him. I kind of had a crush on him once or twice, but I never asked him out because, at the time I did like him, I was unsure of whether he liked me or not.
Anyway, now we're both 17, and he likes me, though I've kind of grown asexual and I don't particularly care for anyone in that sort of way. So today, he asks me if I want to go see a play at his church; I don't go to that church (I'm not even his same religion), but I'm good friends with some of the other people in his youth group so I said sure. The night passes on, and as he's driving me home, he asks me to be his girlfriend. I kind of sputter for a second, but finally I just say sure.
Now I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend, and a part of me says that I might as well go out with him--that I even owe it to him (we have a kind of "he buys me food every once in a while and I don't release my undead feline minions upon him" relationship). However, I really don't want to hurt him by just breaking up with him in the end. I'm a senior in a public high school and (hopefully) I'll be going to an art college after I graduate (if not out-of-state, definitely out-of-town). He's homeschooled and doesn't have much of a desire to go to any college, so I'll be leaving this town in a few months anyway, but...
The truth is, I have no idea if I like him or not. It's not a definite "yes or no" question--on the one hand, he's the first guy in my life who's ever asked me out without being a complete sleezeball; but on the other, I don't know if I like him for anything more than a friend.
So what I'm trying to ask is this: is there anyway I can find out if I really like him or not, preferably before I hurt him? And if I don't like him, how can I tell him without using the whole "I like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend" routine? (Most guys I know absolutely hate that, and I can understand why.) Help, please?
(Once again, sorry for the "tl;dr"-ness of this question. Kind of utterly baffled here.)
i think you said yes because you were overwhelmed that you were gonna be in a relationship. realizing that you were gonna have a boyfriend, one to kiss & love. but it turns out that hes just not the type for you. and i understand that you dont want to hurt him but you have to end it before it becomes serious to him then it`ll only break his heart more. just think of the positive things. like you could be leaving the area, new school, new boys. you cant always be down and worrying about these kind of things. you have your whole life ahead of you. therefore, have a talk with him either face to face, over the phone or in a note. theres so many possibilities. whatever one your more comfortable with. tell him exactly what you feel and what happened. something like you were overwhelmed with the whole boyfriend thing and that you werent really thinking and you might be leaving. explain to him that it wont work out and you BOTH have a whole life ahead of it. a whole life to find that special person. i mean you too can always keep in touch and help eachother out. a relationship just as friends sounds good.
(Rating: 5) I didn't even think about the fasct of it being overwhelming, but that actually makes a lot of sense. Thanks :)