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Q: Hi! I'm seventeen and I'm a girl. I'm in a little bit of a pickle. I was with this guy who I've known for about two years now nd I'm soo in love with him. We have everything in common and we are so alike. The thing is that we've never met. We met through a website and just started talking from there. I would talk to him everyday nd about everything. I feel in love with his personality. Some people don't understand how I can love someone I've never met but its possible. We live in the same state but about 40 minutes away from each other. Which is not too bad. Why haven't we met yet? Good question. Everytime we tried to meet up, something would come up or happen that he couldn't make it. Now two weeks ago we planned to meet at a mall. I went nd he called nd told me that he didn't have a ride. I was devistated. What do u think this means? I have put a lot of effort in trying to see him but it seems like he hasn't put enough. I can't take the heartaches anymore so I told him we should see other people. He hung up on me. I cryed for hours. But now I've found a better guy who I can see nd spend time with. Someone who actually appriciates me nd doesn't take me for granted. Do u think I made the right choice?
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Nobody here can tell you whether or not you made the right choice, and I'm telling you that right now. I'm going to leave that one up to you.
Despite what you may think, I do understand your situation. In some ways I can relate. It is truly great and long lasting to love somebody for who they are and not what they look like or what you physically do with them.
Yes it is difficult. So your relationship was built on trust, on commitment, honesty, responsibility, sincerity...aren't those things supposed to be what relationships are built on? As for him not putting in the effort, maybe you can cut him some slack. While you do live only 40 minutes away, it's not as bad as a two hour state-boundry-crossing distance, and I can vouch for that one.
Go back and talk to him, like really talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. You should not break things off just because you havn't met yet or you don't feel that he's putting in the effort. Ultimately, most of those things are not in your control or his control, meeting up I mean. Good things come to those who wait. I would ask you to reconsider things with him. I'm not saying it was a bad choice, but if you really connected so well with each other and got to know each other and love each other for it, then doesn't that say more than just meeting up at a party and going inbetween the sheets? So I say think things through and talk it out.
Just because you can spend time with the other guy doesn't make him a better guy. Not saying he isn't better, but I've seen cases where a lot of people would rather have a good strong long distance relationship instead of a crummy lousy "see each other all the time" relationship. Think things through and sort out your feelings, and definately talk to him. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Rating changed from a 2 by L2 moderator
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bio
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Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.
I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: New York Occupation: Student Age: 18 Member Since: August 10, 2005 Answers: 674 Last Update: July 10, 2009 Visitors: 54853
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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