askDangerWench
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Q: Ok so I'm 16/f, and I feel really weird because most of my friends have done something, and I've barely even kissed.
Everyone I meet is always like 'how can you still be a virgin?' and it feels a bit uncomfortable.
The things is that I always hear older people say to keep it, that they regret doing it in the first place, but why? My friends dont seem to regret it. And almost no guy would go out with someone who's not sexually active. At least no guy I've come across thinks differently.
What should I do?
...

You are not the only one.

So many people think that sex = love and they mess their lives up looking for love by using sex. Anybody can lay down and spread their legs, that doesn't mean they found their soulmate. That's also not the way to find one's soulmate, though it seems like most young people think it is. That's why they hop from one guy to the next because they are trying to fill a void that can't be filled through sex, but they don't know any better and just keep trying. Having sex with a guy will NOT make him love you.

If you have sex with some guy who isn't your one and only, I guarantee you that you will be disappointed and wonder what all the fuss was about. Without commitment, sex is empty.

Any guy that won't go out with you because you won't have sex with him, isn't someone you want to go out with!

Just tell guys that you are waiting for marriage. The ones who aren't interested in you anymore are the ones who just wanted to use a few of your body parts occasionally.

A guy who loves you for YOU will be willing to wait. Mine did! We were both 26 year old virgins on our wedding night.

There are plenty of people out there like us. It may seem that everybody is doing it, but it's not everybody. Even some of the people who say they are, aren't. They only say it because they think they should be embarrassed that they aren't doing it.

By waiting for marriage, you will avoid 99% of the heartache and problems that your sexually active friends are going through, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing that your man REALLY loves you.

Don't rush it. When you find the right guy, it will be worth the wait.

Good Luck.

Thank you for the advice. It truly helped. And I think it was really sweet you and your husband waited till marriage. Thanks again!

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DangerWench
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I'm DangerNerd's wife. We met on an internet personals site back in December, 1996. He flew across country to meet me for the first time in late February of 1997, and we were married a few weeks later. We've been together 9 years now. :-)

If you want to mail me, my email is DangerWench@gmail.com

Yes, I do sometimes copy and paste my own answers to answer different people's similar questions. I still personalize/edit them when necessary... but for instance, my advice about diet and exercise it going to be pretty much the same every time, and that's a very common subject for questions here... so there's no point in typing the same thing over and over and over again. ;-)

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Yes, hubby and I were both virgins on our wedding night, at the age of 26. Yes, we are both Christians, but we greatly dislike what "Christianity" (or "Churchianity") has come to represent in many people's minds these days... Hypocrisy, greed, pride... Things which the Bible says we are NOT supposed to do. We are supposed to be a good example, not a bad one. :-(

If you have a Christian acquaintance who is hitting you over the head with "Jesus will bring you peace and joy and happiness" tell them to listen to this:

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.mp3

(It's 9 megs, so it may take a bit to download)

If you can't download MP3's for some reason, you can download the zip file.

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.zip

If they are an actual preacher/pastor, this one is geared more towards them:

http://www.dangernerd.com/raycomfort.zip

Send them the link, or burn it to CD and give it to them, whatever it takes.

If they really listen to that, they will see how the Bible itself says the way they are annoying you is wrong. :-)

If you are a Christian, please listen to it, even if you aren't beating people over the head with Jesus. I promise you, it will give you a new perspective. It's totally awesome.

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I'm also fascinated by prophesy, and I do think we are living in an age where we are seeing many things come true that were prophesied 1,000's of years ago.

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There has been a lot of hubbub lately regarding my views on the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity... Mostly due to my not making myself clear. I did have a big long explanation here, but this time I will opt for the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Yes, the following is the simplified version. ;-)

The Catholic Church believes that the Bible is not the only authority. Their teachings include such documentation as Catechisms, and Papal Encyclicals (defined as "authoritative teaching instruments from the Vicar of Christ" (the Pope)) which have been written and added to throughout the years of the history of the Catholic Church.

Because of this, the Catholic Church has many teachings, beliefs, and traditions that are different from a Christian who believes the Holy Bible is the exclusive authority of Christianity.

A Catholic Christian believes in the Catholic doctrines, teachings, and traditions which include, but are *not exclusive to* the Holy Bible.

Most non-Catholic Christians believe the Holy Bible is the *exclusive* authority of Christianity... No other documents.

Much argument comes from this, as quite a few non-Catholic Christians (myself included) believe many of the man-made Catholic doctrines to be un-Christian and not corresponding with Biblical scripture. And obviously, Catholics disagree.

For more information about the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity, see the following link:

Roman Catholic Doctrine vs. The Holy Bible

And a final note about that link... That e-book isn't written by Jack Chick, I have a lot of problems with Mr. Chick. Some of his tracts are great, and some of them are way "out there" if you know what I mean. I do not support Jack Chick. This e-book is written by Rick Jones, who was a Catholic for many years, not Chick.



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"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2Timothy 3:1 - 7)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring..." (Luke 21:25)

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Yahweh is my God, Yeshua is my Savior.


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