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Q: I don't want this to be long or panic-y, but I need some advice. My friend and I are 13. There is a 17-year old across the street who is 17 and a juvi. My parents think he is 18, but really isn't. We played basketball with let's call him C, and we got his number. We hung out with him and we lied about out ages and we said we were 15 and 16. We lied about where we go to school and everything, and now we're hanging out with him. I've been lying to my parents about where we going and everything, but here is the main problem. I'm going into 8th grade this fall, and getting on the bus (right in front of my house!) in the morning is no big, but when the bus drops us off, it's 3:50pm. Big problem, because C smokes, and has to go outside and smokes. What if he sees us? I really hate to lie to everyone around me, and the lies keep getting bigger. Should I be honest with C? My friend and I have been flirting big time with him, and that will ruin out friendship. And, the other problem, even though C is moving is September, I'll have started school, and his brothers go to my new school! What should I do as an overall result? Thanks so much!
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Hmmmm. What you should do is tell the truth to everyone. Probably the last thing you wanted to hear from anybody, but sorry if it had to be from me.
Look at it this way: if a friend of yours had the same thing going on, some other guy that you started to like pulled the same thing off on you...wouldn't you feel worse if you found out it was a lie the hard way than if he just confronted you and was honest? What I'm trying to say is that either way, he's going to find out. It might as well be in a way that puts you in a positive light, by telling the truth and being courageous.
Could it ruin your friendship? Maybe. But think about it - is it really worth keeping a friendship if it is built on lies? or is it even a friendship at that point? Tell him about everything, and the truth, and see if he still wants to be your friend. If he does, then he really was your friend. If not, then oh well, sorry to sound a bit harsh though. If he is moving in a few months, what are the chances you will see him again? If it is very unlikely, then it's not worth going through the trouble of making up lies to him or even to your parents anymore. So think about it, try to find it in yourself to be honest and truthful with yourself, C, and your parents - things might not even turn out as bad as you expect, they usually don't. Hope that helped and good luck.
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bio
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Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.
I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: New York Occupation: Student Age: 18 Member Since: August 10, 2005 Answers: 674 Last Update: July 10, 2009 Visitors: 54817
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