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ncblondieadviceMember Since:
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Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also. I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.
If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
advice
My dad pasted away Thursday and his funeral was on Saturday (yesterday). I was out of town when he died and my mom told me that if I wasn't able to get back on Saturday before the funeral that she would post-pone it. I was able to find a plan back Friday night so I called her and told her that she didn't need to post-pone anything.
Well, my plan was delayed until Saturday morning. When I called her then, my Aunt picked up (my dad's sister not my mom's) and told me that it was too late to push anything back because everything was ready. I asked to speak with my mom and she wouldn't let me. I couldn't reach anyone else so I was forced to miss it! If that isn't the most fucked up thing ever I don't know what is. My mom didn't even know about it until I didn't show up.
All my family from my dad’s side are assholes and the only thing they ever wanted from my dad was his money. We're pretty well off and they've never visited him at the hospital while he was sick. They came maybe once or twice in 7 months. And I HATE that people like that that didn't even deserve to be at the funeral or even know a great man like my dad got to be there and I didn't!
Everyone came over last night to "be there for us" and my dad's family stood away from everyone else and sat in a circle by themselves joking and stuff. They didn't even try to comfort my mom who couldn't get off the couch all night because she couldn’t stop shaking and crying. Her siblings were the only ones around her.
I couldn't go downstairs where everyone was because of them. I didn't want to see any of them. I know that upset my mom and my brother and sister even more but I just couldn't.
I'd give anything to have my dad back. His family can take all of our money, cars, house, whatever they want if we could have him for a few more years. I was taking to my brother about that and my aunt heard (the one that told me it was too late to post-pone the funeral) and she told me that I needed to stop being selfish and that I should be happy that I at least have those things. So I told her to shut up and leave my house. My mom heard that and told me to go back up stairs.
I don't know what to do. I wish it were them that were gone not my dad. I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'm outraged at your aunt for being so insensitive. Losing a loved one is difficult enough without dealing with the attitude you got from your dad's family. Since you weren't able to attend the funeral, why not ask your mom about doing something in memory of your dad? Perhaps plant a tree or take a day to do something that he enjoyed. My thoughts are with you and your family.
(Rating: 4) thanks, i'll try that