...

It sounds very much like your feelings for her are more than just "friend" feelings. Your discovery of her boyfriend has just brought the truth out into the light for you.

This is a tough situation.

You could tell her your feelings, and run the risk of alienating her because from her point of view you waited until she had a boyfriend to tell her. It depends on her real feelings for this guy. Is he a "desperation" boyfriend? A boyfriend just for the sake of being able to say she has a boyfriend? Or is he someone she has liked for a while and has strong feelings for?

You could bide your time and wait and see what happens. Statistically speaking, these things don't usually last, though, of course, there are exceptions.

If he's a really good guy and she seems happy with him, there's not much you can, or should, do, other than allow time to ease the pain.

But then again if he's a jerk, and you point it out to her or talk about him in an even slightly negative way, she might resent you for it. (girls are like that.)

Like I said, it's a tough situation. If you are a Christian, my advice is to pray for guidance about it.

That brought alot of ease to my night, reading this advice. I have had alot of bad thoughts running through my mind, I've already made my hand bleed and a few scratches in my basement wall. I've literally felt like throwing up for the last hour and a half.

I really worry about it because I don't think she has known this guy that long, and I know he will start looking around for other girls if he loses interests (He has done it before, and the effects were very depressing). And she has had a very bad past with guys using her and toying with her emotions and being plain jerks. She isn't one to be played around with now, she is very careful about who becomes close with.

We've already talked about how much I care for her, and for awile there was a gap between us. I told her about how I felt and I told her it was going to always be that way for me and I knew nothin was going to come from it. I don't want to her to be hurt again, I've seen too much of it (her home life is also troubled).

I'm going to pray about it (yes I am a Christian). She has also probably been one of the biggest influences on my faith. She has always tried to uplift it and keep it strong. I can honestly say my faith would be near death if it wasn't for her and a few others keeping it up and supporting me in it.

Thank you so very much for this, you have no idea how it eased my night, even if I am still am feeling sick about it.

God bless,
Ryan.

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I'm DangerNerd's wife. We met on an internet personals site back in December, 1996. He flew across country to meet me for the first time in late February of 1997, and we were married a few weeks later. We've been together 9 years now. :-)

If you want to mail me, my email is DangerWench@gmail.com

Yes, I do sometimes copy and paste my own answers to answer different people's similar questions. I still personalize/edit them when necessary... but for instance, my advice about diet and exercise it going to be pretty much the same every time, and that's a very common subject for questions here... so there's no point in typing the same thing over and over and over again. ;-)

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Yes, hubby and I were both virgins on our wedding night, at the age of 26. Yes, we are both Christians, but we greatly dislike what "Christianity" (or "Churchianity") has come to represent in many people's minds these days... Hypocrisy, greed, pride... Things which the Bible says we are NOT supposed to do. We are supposed to be a good example, not a bad one. :-(

If you have a Christian acquaintance who is hitting you over the head with "Jesus will bring you peace and joy and happiness" tell them to listen to this:

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.mp3

(It's 9 megs, so it may take a bit to download)

If you can't download MP3's for some reason, you can download the zip file.

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.zip

If they are an actual preacher/pastor, this one is geared more towards them:

http://www.dangernerd.com/raycomfort.zip

Send them the link, or burn it to CD and give it to them, whatever it takes.

If they really listen to that, they will see how the Bible itself says the way they are annoying you is wrong. :-)

If you are a Christian, please listen to it, even if you aren't beating people over the head with Jesus. I promise you, it will give you a new perspective. It's totally awesome.

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I'm also fascinated by prophesy, and I do think we are living in an age where we are seeing many things come true that were prophesied 1,000's of years ago.

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There has been a lot of hubbub lately regarding my views on the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity... Mostly due to my not making myself clear. I did have a big long explanation here, but this time I will opt for the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Yes, the following is the simplified version. ;-)

The Catholic Church believes that the Bible is not the only authority. Their teachings include such documentation as Catechisms, and Papal Encyclicals (defined as "authoritative teaching instruments from the Vicar of Christ" (the Pope)) which have been written and added to throughout the years of the history of the Catholic Church.

Because of this, the Catholic Church has many teachings, beliefs, and traditions that are different from a Christian who believes the Holy Bible is the exclusive authority of Christianity.

A Catholic Christian believes in the Catholic doctrines, teachings, and traditions which include, but are *not exclusive to* the Holy Bible.

Most non-Catholic Christians believe the Holy Bible is the *exclusive* authority of Christianity... No other documents.

Much argument comes from this, as quite a few non-Catholic Christians (myself included) believe many of the man-made Catholic doctrines to be un-Christian and not corresponding with Biblical scripture. And obviously, Catholics disagree.

For more information about the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity, see the following link:

Roman Catholic Doctrine vs. The Holy Bible

And a final note about that link... That e-book isn't written by Jack Chick, I have a lot of problems with Mr. Chick. Some of his tracts are great, and some of them are way "out there" if you know what I mean. I do not support Jack Chick. This e-book is written by Rick Jones, who was a Catholic for many years, not Chick.

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"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2Timothy 3:1 - 7)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring..." (Luke 21:25)

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Yahweh is my God, Yeshua is my Savior.

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