askDangerWench
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Q: To give a little background, my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year I'm 16 and he's 17. He would always get things in the mail from the Army, Navy and the Marines. He would save them, show it to me and I'd rip it up and tell him he's not going. The thought of my boyfriend going away to war is something I just CAN'T handle.

I was in his room, cleaning it up while he was in the shower like I always do and I found a flyer that had the information about the Navy on it... I was getting ready to rip it up when I saw that he had signed up for it..

I always told him that I'd be heartbroken if he would sign up for anything that COULD get him killed.

I'm trying SO hard to understand... But I can't. I don't know why he would do this to me. He keeps saying it's for the best but I KNOW it's not the best for him. He always told me he'd never leave me, but by doing this I feel like he is. He always told me, "You don't know what I would give just to see your beautiful face every day and just to have you in my arms, even if it's for 5 minutes." He's told me he wants to be the father of my children, my husband, my one and only.. If he's at war, how is he going to do that??


I really want to convince him NOT to go, but that's just being selfish... But at the same time I want him here with ME. I don't want to live every day in fear that I'll get that knock on my door and having someone tell me that the love of my life was killed.


So my questions are... SHOULD I convince him not to go and explain to him why I don't want him to?


If not, how can I get over this? How can I deal with it every day knowing that my boyfriend is risking his life?
Welcome to the adult world. Life is messy, and things very rarely go the way you want them to, or think they should.

You've already told him how you feel about this, and he knows it. The fact that he's going ahead with it means that he feels very strongly about it. You *could* try to convince him not to go, but you risk having him resent you for not being supportive of something he obviously wants to do.

True love knows no distance. If you two are meant for each other, then the distance won't make a difference in the long run. It's only temporary, though I know when you're young it may seem like a lifetime. If he's not worth waiting for, then he isn't the one for you, anyway.

Yes, it's dangerous. But people die in car accidents driving to nice "safe" office jobs too. Why not find out more about why he wants to go, and what part of the military he wants to be in. Some parts are a lot safer than others. If he's determined to go into the military, maybe you can steer him to one of the safer areas of it.

But the bottom line is that love means compromising. If he really wants to do this, I'm sure he'd be happier (and more likely to be able to keep his mind sharp and stay safe) if he had your support.

Good Luck.

Thanks DW... You're right about him being able to keep his mind sharp and staying safe if he had my support. Thanks =)

bio
DangerWench
Want to know how to keep your questions from being rated down? Click Here!

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I'm DangerNerd's wife. We met on an internet personals site back in December, 1996. He flew across country to meet me for the first time in late February of 1997, and we were married a few weeks later. We've been together 9 years now. :-)

If you want to mail me, my email is DangerWench@gmail.com

Yes, I do sometimes copy and paste my own answers to answer different people's similar questions. I still personalize/edit them when necessary... but for instance, my advice about diet and exercise it going to be pretty much the same every time, and that's a very common subject for questions here... so there's no point in typing the same thing over and over and over again. ;-)

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Yes, hubby and I were both virgins on our wedding night, at the age of 26. Yes, we are both Christians, but we greatly dislike what "Christianity" (or "Churchianity") has come to represent in many people's minds these days... Hypocrisy, greed, pride... Things which the Bible says we are NOT supposed to do. We are supposed to be a good example, not a bad one. :-(

If you have a Christian acquaintance who is hitting you over the head with "Jesus will bring you peace and joy and happiness" tell them to listen to this:

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.mp3

(It's 9 megs, so it may take a bit to download)

If you can't download MP3's for some reason, you can download the zip file.

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.zip

If they are an actual preacher/pastor, this one is geared more towards them:

http://www.dangernerd.com/raycomfort.zip

Send them the link, or burn it to CD and give it to them, whatever it takes.

If they really listen to that, they will see how the Bible itself says the way they are annoying you is wrong. :-)

If you are a Christian, please listen to it, even if you aren't beating people over the head with Jesus. I promise you, it will give you a new perspective. It's totally awesome.

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I'm also fascinated by prophesy, and I do think we are living in an age where we are seeing many things come true that were prophesied 1,000's of years ago.

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There has been a lot of hubbub lately regarding my views on the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity... Mostly due to my not making myself clear. I did have a big long explanation here, but this time I will opt for the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Yes, the following is the simplified version. ;-)

The Catholic Church believes that the Bible is not the only authority. Their teachings include such documentation as Catechisms, and Papal Encyclicals (defined as "authoritative teaching instruments from the Vicar of Christ" (the Pope)) which have been written and added to throughout the years of the history of the Catholic Church.

Because of this, the Catholic Church has many teachings, beliefs, and traditions that are different from a Christian who believes the Holy Bible is the exclusive authority of Christianity.

A Catholic Christian believes in the Catholic doctrines, teachings, and traditions which include, but are *not exclusive to* the Holy Bible.

Most non-Catholic Christians believe the Holy Bible is the *exclusive* authority of Christianity... No other documents.

Much argument comes from this, as quite a few non-Catholic Christians (myself included) believe many of the man-made Catholic doctrines to be un-Christian and not corresponding with Biblical scripture. And obviously, Catholics disagree.

For more information about the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity, see the following link:

Roman Catholic Doctrine vs. The Holy Bible

And a final note about that link... That e-book isn't written by Jack Chick, I have a lot of problems with Mr. Chick. Some of his tracts are great, and some of them are way "out there" if you know what I mean. I do not support Jack Chick. This e-book is written by Rick Jones, who was a Catholic for many years, not Chick.



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"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2Timothy 3:1 - 7)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring..." (Luke 21:25)

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Yahweh is my God, Yeshua is my Savior.


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