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My name's Jennifer, but I'm more commonly known as Jen or Sporkster. I love lots of things/people including God; volleyball and soccer, my two favorite sports; and cheese. I also love Pi, but that's a story for another day.
I've been answering questions on Advicenators for over three years now, so I'm pretty experienced with it. I love answering questions and helping you out anyway I can, so if you've got a question, just ask me!
Ask me about: Christianity, athletics, physical fitness, love-life, relationships, friendships, HTML queries, book suggestions, music suggestions, musical theory, history, English (or Spanish) grammar, Paint Shop Pro 8, skin problems, sports injuries, "punk" fashion, nutrition, etc.
advice
Q: I'm 16, and I don't want a relationship right now because I just got out of a really long one and I'm enjoying being single. But now that I am single it seems that every guy is wanting to date me and I just want to be friends. I'm usually the type of person that takes things fast with guys, but I'm trying to change my priorities and try and become friends before the whole dating thing. But every guy that wants to get with me takes it the wrong way when I say, "I just want to stay single right now because I've gotten out of a long relationship and I'd rather be friends right now." After that they act really cool with the idea but after a couple weeks they stop talking to me, and then the next time I see them they get shitty with me because they feel insulted that I don't want to date them. I want to keep my guy friends and stop worrying about losing them just because I don't feel like dating at this point in time. And I have no clue how to say this with out hurting anyone's feelings or making them think that I'm not interested. They all take it that I a m shooting them down, which I am not at all trying to do. Many of the guys I do kind of like, but I want to stay single until I truly feel ready to date someone and I will know when that is, because I don't want to jump into the next available relationship and have it end quickly. I want to take my time and find a guy that will treat me right. I'm only 16 so I have plenty of time to stay single and find the right guy. So please help me! Is there anyway I can explain to these guys how I am feeling without them getting pissed off and thinking I'm shooting them down with the whole "just friends" line?
A: As the people who have answered before me said, you need to tell them exactly why you only want to be friends right now. Say something like, "I know you're looking for a more romantic relationship, but I just got out of a really long one and I just want to enjoy my time as a single person. Don't take this the wrong way, I still do want to be friends! If you wait awhile, maybe it'll turn into something more." That way they'll have a better understanding of why you want to stay "just friends". Make sure you tell them about the quote, "Love is friendship set on fire"--maybe that'll encourage them to keep your friendship going. I hope you have good luck with your guy friends, and when you feel ready, a great relationship!
Feel free to ask me any additional questions!
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much for the advice! I love the quote you used too.