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HELP! Following my heart, but hurting others in the process!
I'm 16, and I don't want a relationship right now because I just got out of a really long one and I'm enjoying being single. But now that I am single it seems that every guy is wanting to date me and I just want to be friends. I'm usually the type of person that takes things fast with guys, but I'm trying to change my priorities and try and become friends before the whole dating thing. But every guy that wants to get with me takes it the wrong way when I say, "I just want to stay single right now because I've gotten out of a long relationship and I'd rather be friends right now." After that they act really cool with the idea but after a couple weeks they stop talking to me, and then the next time I see them they get shitty with me because they feel insulted that I don't want to date them. I want to keep my guy friends and stop worrying about losing them just because I don't feel like dating at this point in time. And I have no clue how to say this with out hurting anyone's feelings or making them think that I'm not interested. They all take it that I a m shooting them down, which I am not at all trying to do. Many of the guys I do kind of like, but I want to stay single until I truly feel ready to date someone and I will know when that is, because I don't want to jump into the next available relationship and have it end quickly. I want to take my time and find a guy that will treat me right. I'm only 16 so I have plenty of time to stay single and find the right guy. So please help me! Is there anyway I can explain to these guys how I am feeling without them getting pissed off and thinking I'm shooting them down with the whole "just friends" line?
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You shouldn't have to explain it to them.If they cant take no i want to stay single for a while for an answer.then forget them..if you feel you arent ready for another relationship,and they cant accept that,thats really there problem,because if they really wanted to date you,then theyd wait until your ready to date again.
x_Hope I help_x
xxxx_adrienne_xxxx
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just tell them your not ready yet.. it will take some time...and when your up to it... go up to a guy that you like and give them a chance... but as you said become friends first.
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I think any true friends guys or not should be understanding. Tell them you just aren't ready to get back into the whole dating ritual right now, but you would like to get to know them better. Maybe you just go have a soda with them or something but not a real "Date" kind of thing.
You get what I mean? Don't turn them down cold, just don't commit to being their girlfriend either. Let each have a mini date...well, the ones you like. When you get to know one of them well enough and think you'd like to date him, then go for it. By the way, if you want to get to know someone more, just ask to meet for a soda (or whatever you want to do on your get together) On another day. Make sure they understand though that it isn't a real date..just a get to know you better thing. Hope it helps! :)
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As the people who have answered before me said, you need to tell them exactly why you only want to be friends right now. Say something like, "I know you're looking for a more romantic relationship, but I just got out of a <i>really</i> long one and I just want to enjoy my time as a single person. Don't take this the wrong way, I still do want to be friends! If you wait awhile, maybe it'll turn into something more." That way they'll have a better understanding of why you want to stay "just friends". Make sure you tell them about the quote, "Love is friendship set on fire"--maybe that'll encourage them to keep your friendship going. I hope you have good luck with your guy friends, and when you feel ready, a great relationship!
Feel free to ask me any additional questions!
<3 Sporkster
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Well tell them exactly what you told me. Just be like," I would like to date you it's just I got out of a long relationship, and I'm enjoying being single at the moment. And I want to stay single until I truly feel ready to date someone. I want to take my time and find someone that will treat me right..so maybe we can after awhile.. but for now can we just be friends, so I can get to know you more and stuff? " Then maybe they'll see how you're feeling and stuff.. and they'll be friends with you and get to know you and stuff..and then maybe someday you'll date one of them =) Hope I helped!!
Love,
MELii
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It's hard huh? Just getting out of a relationship. Ya Okay anyways. You just need to lay it straight to them. You still want to be friends but you got way to hurt from your last relationship that you just want to be singel and enjoy your life with a lot of friends, Tell them that you guys can still hang out and go to places..like the mall or movies (friends do that) If they do not respect your feelings and take them into consideration than they just want to date you for one reason and one reason only. If they stick around then you're off to a great start. I hope I helped.
xox, Sara!
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