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My name's Jennifer, but I'm more commonly known as Jen or Sporkster. I love lots of things/people including God; volleyball and soccer, my two favorite sports; and cheese. I also love Pi, but that's a story for another day.
I've been answering questions on Advicenators for over three years now, so I'm pretty experienced with it. I love answering questions and helping you out anyway I can, so if you've got a question, just ask me!
Ask me about: Christianity, athletics, physical fitness, love-life, relationships, friendships, HTML queries, book suggestions, music suggestions, musical theory, history, English (or Spanish) grammar, Paint Shop Pro 8, skin problems, sports injuries, "punk" fashion, nutrition, etc.
advice
Q: Well, there is this girl that I'm okay friends with, but now don't really like her that much anymore. My boyfriend is starting to hang out with her more and talk to her more. Sometimes talking to her more on AOL than me. While I was away for two weeks my boyfriend went on a choir trip to Six Flags. Ashley (the girl that I'm okay friends with) and my boyfriend hung out the whole time. IE. Rode rides together, walked together, got food and ate it together. That doesn't make you're girlfriend feel very good, but now she's in his info. It's an inside joke with her, but surprisingly it's about the same lenght as me in his info. Well, my whole info is about him. Am I being stupid to be mad, that's what he said.
A: I can completely understand what you're going through--I went through it last year when my boyfriend and I had just started dating. He would talk to this girl on AOL all the time, flirt with her, etc., and it really hurt my feelings.
I was his first girlfriend, so I think he just didn't understand that what he was doing was hurting me. I talked to him about it, but he said I was "being stupid", that he was just friends with this girl and he could talk to her if he wanted to. He now realizes how much it bothered me though, and says that he was the stupid one.
Anyway, your boyfriend probably doesn't know how much it's really bothering you. He probably is just friends with this girl, and doesn't see the line that you've drawn for his female friends. Just pull him aside and explain to him that it really bothers you that he and this girl are really close, and that you'd like him to spend more time with you and not this other girl. If he says you're being stupid about that, well...it's time to drop him.
If he agrees to spend more time with you, take that time to get closer to him, and build up trust. That's all you can do if he's still going to be around other girls--trust him. Also make sure that you get the point across to him about being around other girls and it bothering you. He'll get the point, hopefully, and stop doing it.
I hope you can sort things out with your relationship. Feel free to ask me anything else because I've been through this before and come through it happy.
(Rating: 5) that helped a lot. you have no idea