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I'm pretty sure that I have at least borderline obsessive-compulsive disorder, but where symptoms are listed, the requirements are kind of vague. If anyone who knows more about it could give me a hint as to my own state(severity, etc.), I'd appreciate it. I'll list some symptoms. Note that this if going to be rather long, even though I've cut out a lot of detail and examples.



Hand washing - I'm... fairly obsessed... with dirty-ness... if I touch something that I think might be dirty, then I wash my hands before touching anything clean and/or at the first opportunity. A year or so ago I counted myself as washing my hands ninety times in one day, and I'm sure that it's gotten significantly worse since then.

Arrangement - I like to arrange things that I'm looking at neatly. For example, yesterday I had six bittorrent windows open, and I arranged them in a perfect grid; the top left one's top left corner was exactly on the top left corner of the screen, and all the others were exactly aligned with it(no overlap or space whatsoever between edges, corners touching).

Counting - I'll count repetitive noises. Not all of them (not keystrokes, walking footsteps, etc.), but I'll always count stairs-steps and some other noises.

Perfectionism - but only in things I care about. Not really significant, but I've been known to spend hours on a minor detail of a bad drawing.

Paranoia - I worry that people may be watching me, and about hidden cameras and suchlike. I keep all my sensitive(for example, pirated) files in triple-encrypted archives with very long passwords and worry that the government might have a quantum computer, with which such a password could easily be broken.

Random **** - sometimes I'll feel compelled to do something, for example tapping my fingers in a pattern or sequence until I get it exactly right. A minute before I started writing this I selected some icons in an order. Then I worked out on paper how to work the sequence exactly backwards and did so because I needed to balance the select-ing to put my mind to rest.

Hiya,
I know EXACTLY how you feel, especically about the finger tapping. I've had OCD in the past - I still have it very mildly - and trust me, you can get over it if you act right now!
What you're doing is concentrating too much on the COMPULSIVE part. Try and focus on the OBSESSIVE part - i.e., why you feel like you have to do this. Even if it's just 'I feel like something stupid and bad will happen if I don't', it's enough to know that. Then focus on these thoughts. Every time you catch yourself doing soemthing compulsive, ask yourself WHY - then tell yourself the reason is stupid. I know it sounds extremely hard, and it is, but you WILL get over this!
OCD isn't officially OCD until it takes up more than an hour of your every day life, but it progresses very quickly. I used to walk not stepping on the cracks, and if I did walk on one, I had to walk on another one with the opposite foot but in exactly the place as I trod on the crack with the other foot. I got over that by not looking at my feet when I walk! It's hard, and I had to put a lot of effort into letting myself step on cracks that I could see ahead of me, but it worked. Tackle one issue at a time - ignore the others for now; they'll only make you stressed!! Trying to get rid of more than one OCD symptom at a time will just drag you under and be too much.
The paranoia you describe could be a whole other psychological problem, including social nervousness (there is a more scientific name for it than that but I can't remember it right now...:S sorry).
Try and handle this yourself for now before it gets any worse. Doctors won't treat you until it's VERY bad and you don't want it to have to get to that point. It sounds like the hand-washing especially is bad enough...but you do wanna try getting rid of, or at least reducing, your symptoms yourself first :)
With your hands - give yourself set times of the day to wash your hands - i.e. before and after meals, when you get up and when you go to bed. Reduce this until you only wash your hands before meals or something, or when you touch something REALLY dirty. Remember: if it doesn't leave dirt marks on your hand and isn't covered in mould or flies, it's NOT dirty. I know this will be really REALLY hard for you to do, but STICK AT IT - don't give up just because you fail on one day!! And remember also that NOTHING is a failure - you've admitted you have a problem and that's half the battle won! You're also trying to stop this and that is nothing but a success!
If it gets even remotely worse though, I do suggest going to a doctor as you do sound pretty bad.
Good luck, and feel free to mail me on any of the addy's on my profile whenever!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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(Rating: 5) I know EXACTLY what you mean about the cracks. Thanks for the advice, I'll try to get in touch with you.
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