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In light of recent anti-Petey comments directed at Fern's advice column, I would like to propose this charter:
Article I:
A. Petey is a dinosaur. ROARRR!!
B. Petey is inherently cool and awesome.
Article II:
A. Since Petey is inherently and undeniably cool and awesome, those who do not agree with this and publically admit so will face swift punishment.
B. Punishment details are defined in Articles III, IV and V (below).
Article III:
A. There are three classes of offenses regarding the denying of Petey's coolness and/or awesomeness.
B. The aforementioned three classes are defined in Article IV.
C. Their respective punishments are outlines in Article V.
Article IV:
A. Class 1 offense - stating Petey is not cool and/or awesome.
B. Class 2 offense - stating that you hate Petey.
C. Class 3 offense - insinuating or stating Petey should come down from Fern's advice column.
Article V:
A. Punishment for Class 1 offense - Being poked in the eye, not once, not twice, but thrice.
B. Punishment for Class 2 offense - Public humilitation, being put up in the stocks for 72 hours whilst the townspeople have you at their discretion to do as they please.
C. Punishment for Class 3 offense - Death by guillotine.
Article VI (temporary): The previous five Articles are yet to be ratified by Fern. This article is stricken upon ratification.
MaxwellsSilverHammer (Indeed)
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You are the greatest person ever.
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I clearly have way too much free time. |
(Yarr) |
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