about


advice

ok well i was goin out with this kid durin the school year we went out for about 3 months i was the happiest ive been in such a looong time and when he broke up with me i shut down like i didnt want to go out i didnt want to do anything and i would cry and cry and cry i was so depressed and then i went away and them came back happy again cause i got to do things without thinkin of him and now one of my best friends are goin out with him and i dont no what to do and now all i think about is him and her together and how horrible that makes me feel i cant stop thinkin about him i still have STRONG feelings for him its really bad i just dont no what to do please help me!!

Hey ..i feel for you. I went through a time like that..only not as severe. Concentrate on hanging out with friends and going out places, you`ll be a lot happier that way. And when your mind drifts back to him.. just think about the good times and remember nobody can take that away from you. Smile when ytou think about him...dont cry, please. Its tough but time will heal you. For now, concentrate on doing activivites and hanbing with ffriends..dont shut yourself down.

Hope i helped..i wish you the best of luck. :)
-melissa

[view]


I'm 13 M and I was recently talking to my friend (13 F) when she told me that she liked me. I had a crush on her for about a year now and so i was excited when we talked more i thought that she really liked me. But then when we talked again she told me that she liked me but that she liked my friend better. See the thing is i can't stop thinkin of her and i dont know what to do.
Thanks for any help!

I know the feeling..maybe you should sit her down and ask her straight out if she`ll go out with you. If your constantly thinking about her..do yourself a favor and go after her! :) If she says no, then thats her problem. Its if she goes out with you and has some feelings for someone else, as long as you dont ACT on those feelings or talks about them to you constantly. Good luck..if it doesnt work out, its ok..lots more girls to come into your life :)

-hope i helped
melissa

[view]


okay so last year a new gurl came to our school so being the nice person i am..lol.. i started to get to knoe her she look nice and she had good taste in clothes and was very pretty. so i got to knoe her. with in the first week of school she already had a bf. i was a lil jealous but not too much cuz last year ppl would call me a playa so i thought that in a matter of time i would get a bf sooner or later. so i didn't think much of it but twords the middle of the year i became sick o her cuz i would always get her leftover boy friends! i was getting soo mad but then i heard the breaking news thats she was moving. i was sad but deep down inside i was kinda hapy that i would have my spot back in the school but now i hear shes not moving. wut do i do? i knoe im jealouse but how can i make these feelings go away! i really do luv her and i really am always there for her but i just feel so bad when i think this kinda stuff! please help me asap! cuz the new yeaar is comin up and i wanna b ready

hey its fine..i kinda got that feeling also. To make it go away just have confidence in yourself that your gona get the hookup also! In time it will come :)
hope i helped out
-meliss

[view]


I'm really into writing Dark Poems, REALLY dark poems. But the weird thing is, I'm a REALLY happy person who leads a good life with a loving family and lots of friends. o.o; I don't have any depression or anything and I'm not going through Teen Angst. Is something wrong with me? o___O;

Not at all! We are all into different things. You dont have to be depressed to like dark poems. Some people who are very "proper" are like wildcats in bed for example.lol Or so i hear

hope i helped
-melissa

[view]


My mom and dad argue a lot but now some family issues have come up on my dad's side of the family and his brother needs money because his wife died in a car accident recently and he is in need. Anyways he is asking our family for a lot of money and my dad really cares about him and so he gave it to him without my mom knowing- and he tried to tell my mom but she was busy and had to leave. So now my mom knows that he gave the money to him without telling. And she is upset because we can't afford that kind of money to just loan out. And she is arguing cuz he is being dishonest. And my dad is angry because he loves his bro and he gave the money cuz he knew he needed it bad- and he trid to tell my mom, but my mom. Then this afternoon she said, "I don't care what u spend that money on, but i want u to ask me first" and now my dad thinks my mom doesn't care about his family at all, and so he screamed at my mom to just get out and go! Then he pushed her and that's when i went to my room and started crying my eyes out beecuz they have fought before but never physically and so i cried my eyes out and i left with my mom to pick up my brothers from practice and when we got back my dad was gone- I dunno where he went. I really hope our family is okay, i especially hope my dad is alright too. What is going on here?¿? How come they are both losing it?¿? Can i do anything? Or can i only pray for them? I'm really scared!!!

I feel for you..my parents had their share of bad fights, but we pulled through and they are great now. Maybe your dad just needed some air and time to think. This is the first phsyical fight? I think he`ll be back...probably just is worried about his brother..adults can explode and act crazy/dumb also. I would just stand by your mom and brothers and pray maybe. Dont feel like you have to do anything..let your parents work it out.
Best of luck..please write back if the situation gets worse or if you wana talk!
-melissa :)

[view]


hey i moved and b4 i moved me and this guy are talking and we kinda have a long distance relationsjip but it's nothing official. he's leaving for the airforce in 5 days and will be stationed 3 hours from me rather than the 14 it has been. should we go ahead and make it official or w/e or see other people. it tears me apart that i cant see him..cuz i like him SO much..lol im sucha dork

na your not a dork! I had one of those long distance things..they are hard to keep going. For now i suggest you see other people, i think you`ll be happier that way. But like ive been telling everyone..its not "The End" forever..who knows what the future has planned :)
good luck hope i helped out!
-melissa

[view]


i know this is really long.. but i really need help.

okay.. me and my boyfriend of like 2 yrs just broke up about 3 weeks ago. we were always the couple that everyone said "are going to get married.. they belong together" and we were SO CLOSE! there was never a day that we didnt talk fool around or just love being with eachother. we broke up and things were a little weird for like a week.. but now its just like were best friends again. and its weird bc sometimes its even like were still a couple. we always talk and laugh and fool around.. and i miss it. sometimes i still want to be with him but other times i just love being single and i think maybe its the best for the both of us.. that maybe its just time to move on- and that doesnt scare me, bc in some cases i just want to move on.
okay- so a little while after we broke up he started fooling around w/ one of my "friends".. this got me really upset. not that it happened just the fact that my friend wud do that to me after that long of a relationship and she totally knew how much he still meant to me.
then i met this guy. hes like amazing. we became close and i got with him a couple times. its not like were BF/GF but.. i think we might be getting there. we both like e/o. my ex knows n all of our friends too. i like both my ex and this new guy.. do u think i should hang on to my ex bc things might go back to how they were before (like they have done before).. or should i just totally move on from my ex and be with my new guy. im so confused i just need help.. i like my new guy.. but i dont wanna leave my old love if there is still something between us.. what should i do?

Hey..i really think you should move on an be with this new guy. Both of you are going seperate ways..but hey its not "The End" forever,right? Who knows whats in store for the future.Just see new people..and maybe in the future you`ll be back to your ex.

-hope i helped!
melissa

[view]


ok me and my boyfriend have been having a bad month - he tried to break up with me the other day but knew i was sad and ended up not .. he told me he loved me still and was being an idiot and crap like that .. but it stil doesnt seem like he still likes me.. i dont wanna bother him but i want to know the truth! sry its long!

aww..i feel for you. Maybe the two of you will get over it..if not..its ok if it comes to an end. Who knows what the future holds! Sit him down and ask for the truth..if he wants to break up..maybe its for the better. You dont want him unhappy, right?
best of luck! :)
melissa

[view]


If you fell in love (like REALLY fell head over heals in love) and you know it will never ever EVER work out(like the man might as well be dead its so never ever going to happen), is it normal to feel like you'll never love anyone that way again? He didn't break up with me cuz we weren't ever really together, but my heart is broken. I'm not angry with him or anything either. Its just that I know in my heart that i will never feel this way about anyone ever again, just is it normal?

Yeea i think its perfectly normal. There will always be a special place in your heart for him..but keep in mind that you will fall in love again and get married perhaps..and it will be a stronger love.

hope i helped out..if i wasnt too clear write back please! :)
-melissa

[view]


my names sharie from indiana n i got a big prob.. like a week ago i was masterbating and i dont remember if i had my period on that day but i remember bleeding.. i wanna kno if dat means i popped my own cherry cuz i really hope i didnt cuz the first time i tried i remember I felt the "cherry" but now i dunno if i feel it how can i tell for sure if its still there and if not am i not a virgin nemore if i popped it myself i mean i never orgasmed from fingering so i prollydidnt but am i still virgin ive never had sex and is it prolly still ther? help please thank u!! p.s- my friends got popped from gettin fingered by her friend dats a GRL so mine can b

Sincerely-Sharie

Hmm..ok. You can check by taking your finger while laying down maybe..and just run it around down there and see if you can feel anything. You`ll know if its there or not. As for the bleeding, you may have just been too rough and maybe scratched yourself down there. If you find that you popped the cherry, its ok. I know a couple people who have been raped before..but still consider themselves virgens..you havent lost your virginity until you`ve had INTERCOURSE as said by Sue Johanson ( a sex talk show host on tv...you can catch her on the oxygen channel at like 11) Shes told ppl who had anal intercourse that they are still virgens...so i consider you one also. When the actual penis meets the vagina and it does with you willing for it to happen...then you`ve lost your virginity. If youve been raped, mastubated and broke it, or had anal intercourse, your still considered a virgin.. Sorry if i wasnt clear enough..write back and i can explain it again!
Hope i helepd
-melissa

[view]


Hey Melissa... You know who I am but nobody else does lets just keep it "dat" way.. ok my sister who is younger than me totally walks all over me constantly.. shes always bossing me around, getting me in trouble, and telling me that she has no reason to respect me.. even though we fight sometimes it doesnt mean that i have done nething to her that she hasn't done to me... I try to stand up to her but that only gets me in trouble and even though we do equal damage i get more blame... NO EXAGGERATION! I really need to know what to do (and i have already told my parents, doesn't help) thanks if you can help


HOMIE_GRL

Hey..wow thats a sucky situation. I have 3 younger brothers so I kinda know what your sayin..
If asking your parents didnt work I suggest sitting down with her and having a "heart to heart" talk. It might sound a little gay...but ive had a couple of those talks with my younger brothers. Just sit her down and express your feelings..without starting a fight..i know this can be hard..but what have you got to lose? Afterwards, let her express herself and stuff..then say I really dont wanna fight..maybe we can try our best to be friendly to each other. If you want you can get into the "your my sister and we r always gona be here for each other..yada yada yada..." This is just my approach..it worked with me..hope it will work with you too!

-hope i helped!
melissa

[view]


I becamse frineds, with my now best friend, a month before i started going out with her brother. Him and i went out for a week, the one week was fine i guess but then after that he was kinda rude, but then when i staytred hanging out with his sister more and more he kinda clunged to me more and more again, and when i slept over her hosue some stuff happened. I alwyas want to talk to her about thigns that had happerned between him and i but im afraid she'll get mad and think its weird b/c its her brother. she is my beat friend and i wish i coudl talk to her about ANYTHING and i think im still in love with him, and i would like to express that to her but i dont knwo how she'll respond, what should i do?! i dont knwo hwo to get over him, even though he has movoed out fo the house. or if i shoudl tell her? or keep it to myself?

As for you still liking him, sure tell ur friend. Just bring him up..and if your friend tightens up about the subject..maybe you should leave it alone. If shes open to it, just express how you still like him.If your asking if you should give her details about what you 2 did, i say definately no..thats kinda weird. lol
hope i helped out a lil
-melissa

[view]


okay..i have a friend and she wont let me hang around any of the other friends i have made this year or she gets mad and thinks im ignoring her! i really like her and i dont like it when she is mad! but i also like the new friends i have made! i dont JUST want to hang around her! how do i get her to understand that i want to be her friend and the others friend too?!

You gota tell it to her straight out. If she doesnt get it, be firmer about it. Hopefully she`ll understand soon cuz i agree with you 100%!
Let her know you really like her and shes a good friend, but you want other friends also. Encourage her to make other friends also.

-hope i helped!
melissa

[view]


Ok i like this guy hes 16 and im 13 he has a gf but neway hes always being mean to me i guess.bcuz like wenever i talk to him hes like shutup jack*ss or w.e queer stupid stuff lyk that we used to b realli good friends and he would play around like that now i dunno if hes playin around or not.Do u think he likes me or is he jus bein mean??

he might just be confuused..maybe he likes his gf a lot but has feelings for you and doesnt know what to do.
Its also possible that he wants to concentrate on his gf and isnt leaving time for you, or maybe he wants to get rid of you which would be mean, but im not a mind reader lol
talk to him about it, that never hurts! Hope i helped!
-melissa

[view]


Ok, i'm 13/f and my neighbor is 14/f, we were talking one night and it was like 9:00 so it was dark, so i went in the basement and he followed, i was putting the laundry in the washer and he came up behind me and put his arms around me, i liked it so i turned around then he kissed me and we made out, a lot. we went in the very back yard on the picnic table, no one can see it cuz its too far back, and he layed on it and i sat on his tummy, he had his hands on my ass and we makeout more then he fingered me and rubbed my boobs, and we made out more then we had to go in cuz it was 11:00, we were going to do something like that again but i went on vacation, and now i havnt seen him, should i bring it up or never do it again? was it wrong of me? we have also talked about sex, i want to but i dont want the condom to break, what shold i do about everything??

I dont think you were wrong, its not like your a 50 cent hooker on the corner! lol (unless you feel wrong you werent!) You dont have to forget him, maybe hes shy. Go have fun and go after him again! (only if your sure your ready) As for sex..always be safe. When you put one on remember to leave a one inch space at the top so he has room to ejaculate. I would look it up more because Ive never done it..

maybe go to talksexwithsue.com

best of luck hope i helped!
have fun and be safe :0)
-melissa

[view]


in 1 year i have to choose between field hockey and soccer b/c the 2 sports take place at the same time!! I do not wantt o choose but i have to so what do u think i should choose or what woule be a good way to choose?
Thanks for the Help!!

In my school, this one kid did two sports at once. Maybe double check and see if you can maybe do the same thing. Pick the one you have the most passion for. Example: if tennis and softball were at the same time i would choose softball over tennis because i put my heart and soul into softball, even though i love both sports. Its a hard choice..maybe choose the one your better at,the one your dedicated to the most, or the one u see a future in (for like college)

hope i helped!
-melissa

[view]


ok well me and my bf say we love each other and have been 2gether for a while... but he told me he still has feelings for his x *loves her still* but i no tht he loves me and i no tht they were 2gether for a long tym but she treated him so badly and it hurts me 2 no tht and so i dont no y he loves her but i no being 2gether tht long tht he is still gonna have feelngs for her... so can someone help me out w/ some suggestions on how 2 talk 2 him about this, and should i be jealous tht he still has feelings for her?

I think its ok for him to still have feelings for his ex..i mean you cant help what you feel, right? As long as he doesnt act on those feelings.
You can talk to him about it by asking about his relationship with her..ask him what he saw in his old gf..talk about how she hurt him.. and be supportive. Its pretty cool that your bf is open enough with you to tell you about his feelings (as long as he doesnt constantly talk about her).

Yes! Its perfectly ok to be jealous


hope i helped out
-melissa

[view]


i don't have a father figure in my life. my dad is a jerk..he tried like almost killing me before..and i don't see my step-dad as a father! do i need a father figure in my life? please help! i rate high!

I think its a lot better if you do have a father figure in your life. Try your best to warm up to him..
or you can become close to a friends dad. Its nothin like havin your own father figure but its cool...my friend kinda saw my dadas a father figure.

[view]


Ok, this is going to be kind of long because I need to give you all the details. I haven't always been overweight, but when I was finally aloud to stay home in the summer by myself, I started to get bigger. I couldn't go anywhere when my parents were home, so I sat and watched TV and ate constantly. Well, the big problem is that was about 6 years ago! Every year I say I'm going to finally lose weight, and I still haven't. Now I'm at least 30 pounds over-weight, and even though I love playing sports and being active, I also love to sit at home and eat the "tasty" foods. I am going to be a junior, and it is so hard to be an over-weight teen. I know all the stuff I need to do if I want to lose weight, but I just can't find my motivation to do it. Do any of you have advice to try help me? Please, I would really appreciate it.

Hey..im in the exact same boat your in. I love sports and im pretty ok at them..but im overweight and i love to eat. I lost about 20 pounds a couple summers ago and i myself have to get motivated gain also.
You gota be consistant...say to yourself.."if i start now, for my senior year i can look so much better!"

dont let time slip by because before you know it, it will be next august and the dream of reaching your goal by senior year will slip away!

-hope i got u pumped up a lil more..BEST OF LUCK! :)
melissa

[view]


12 years ago, my hubby was married to a woman that left him for his b/f. He had friends who claimed to be neutral, but were really not (they let ex and b/f use their home as a hotel, and helped the affair in other ways). When we met they became carrier pigeons for her, as did her bro.I put the skids to it. Her marriage fizzled.She kept up trying to corner my hubby about me (b/f and hubby sometimes worked together and she would see him then), and our relationship. She re-remarried, had kids (none with my hubby-thankfully), moved 6 houses away from us, started dressing like me and wearing her hair like me, and walking past our house, looking in our windows. Tried the courts and was told it was a public street and she never left it to look, and cuz she lived there, too bad for me. The only way to stop her was if she became violent towards me. We moved 3 years ago. Last weekend, a relative who is friends with the carrier pigeons wanted to know why I didn't like the ex, and what could she have done to make me not like her, and on and on. Hubby figures if he buries his head in the sand, it will all go away. I say no. We moved 45 minutes away, stopped associating with people who know her. She runs away from me (literally) if she sees me, but when she's with her friends and I'm alone, she calls me names (even did so in front of my son), so confronting is out of the question. I think she needs help and is just plain weird. How do we get rid of her????

Wow this sounds bad, kinda like you can make a scary movie about her! Well..
-did you try getting an order of protection sent against her? This will make her stay at least 500 yards away from you(i beleive thats the distance)
-I agree, it does sound like she needs serious help..maybe if you try and convince your hubby to talk with his ex and tell her its over and to leave his family at peace,this might be resolved.
Does this woman continue to harass you in your new home which you said was 45 minutes away? If so, then go to the police again. She can be considered a stalker possibly?

Hope I gave you some options that will help...drop one in my inbox if you want me to help further :)
-Melissa

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker