icey0990's

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Ok...I'm 16 years old and I don't go to a regular school...I go to a girls' school. I don't KNOW any boys. I just don't. I wanted to meet some because I really want a boyfriend. So, I went to a restaurant the other day, and started smiling at one of the guys there. He just gave me a look like "What? Why are you staring at me?"
What is wrong with me??? I thought that was a good way!!

Well, atleast I got his attention, right?

ugh.........

Hey not to worry..its the guys fault that he missed out on you. Theres nothin wrong with you or anything..theres somethin wrong with that guy lol. Just keep trying and Im sure soon you`ll spark a convo with a great guy and its all history after that!Try going to the mall..theres tons of gorgeous and great guys there. I bet you`ll meet the greatest guy when you least expect it, so dont give up and best of luck on your man hunt lol :)
-melissa-

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Ok - my uncle hits on me at almost every family gathering. It really bothers me! I told my mom and she said she'd try to help me, but I still feel so uncomfortable around him. He's always staring at me and winking, and saying that I'm hot!

I'm just so uncomfortable ..

Eww oh wow thats horrible. OK its great you told your mom..but I think you should tell a guy member in your family. Then maybe he`ll confront your uncle and tell him to BACK OFF. Tell a big brother, another uncle, your dad, etc. You should also say something to him when he hits on you. Dont just let this situation slip by..avoiding him isnt the answer. Tell a male figure in your family and get it resolved asap.
Best of luck..and im so sorry you have such a perv for an uncle
-melissa-

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ok my dad and stepmom are getting divorced. i dont live with them, so it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, and i dont know it's just a big problem. i'm afraid i'll never see my stepmom again once they get divorced, and i don't want that to happen. I got really close to her and i love her, she's almost like a sister to me. i know i cant' stop them from getting divorced, but how can i get through this and still be happy and have a good outlook on things? i'm normally an optomistic person, and i want to stay that way. i don't expect never to be sad, but what are some ways to deal with this? i went through a divorce a few years ago with my real parents, but i dont know how to get through it again. thanks in advance to everyone who helps. love ya!

yowch..once is enough i bet..but TWO times? Well..the bright side is you have some experience in dealing with this. Lots of kids all over the world have to deal with it for the first time and they are probably lost. I would talk to your stepmom. If shes so much like a sister to you..im sure she`ll want to keep in touch and spend time with you also. Just because they are getting divorced, dosnt mean your step mom, whos very close to you, is going to shut you out of her life. Im sure when you talk to her she`ll be very pleased to hear you want to keep in touch and spend time. Im equally sure that she`ll feel the same way.Best of luck :)
-melissa-

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Well let me say i am over 21 i have a real problem my boyfriend and i are together for three yrs i was married before this for fourteen yrs and now i live with my boyfriend we have never had sexual intercourse in 3 yrs. i am so bitchy because of it i have done everything to try to get him interested in sex. i have talked to him i have emailed him and once i even was gonna hook up with this guy in the area but he found out about it. and put an end to it. i do all the house work and more i wait on him basically hand and foot. nothing seems to work i am basically killing myself around the house to please him. but i do have to admit for the past few months i have been really bitchy. i do not wanna end this relationship although i do not know why except i have spent alot of money and time in this relationship for it to end. i have tried being nice i have tried everything i am at my wits end over this i no sex is not everything maybe that is what i am holding on to. in a way i feel he is driving me to another man's bed and if that is what he wants i will be happy to oblige. i dont think this is what he wants cause i no he is gonna dump me if he finds out i would love just to have sex for an entire day i think it would do alot for myself. yes if u have not guessed already i have a high sex drive and it is like a drug addict being cut off only worse like 5000 times worse we sleep in the same bed he tells me he loves me and i do love him. i have talked to drs like i said i have done everything. he lays cuddled up to me in the bed. which is hard. i cry alot over this. i have asked him what turns him on when i ask him there is no reply. i would be willing to do just about anything please help no i am not gonna go to a sex therapist cause he wont go but basically anything else

No no...you shouldnt have to go through this anymore. You have needs also and its not fair they arent being fulfilled. It will probably hard to leave him, but it might be the best thing to do. Who knows, maybe one day down the road he`ll be ready to take AND give in the relationship. Until then, i would get out of that relationship and move on to the man who will take AND give. You`ll be so much happier. It isnt right for you to stay in your current relationship and suffer when you can move on and be in a relationship with someone else that will be 100% better!!
Best of luck dear..if you have anything else at all to talk about or ask..just drop me something in the inbox :)
-melissa-

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Hey its me again the one thats having the lil girl with the boyfriend who has a lil drinking problem.Well i talked to him today about it and he got all mad saying its not like hes cheating on me or doing drugs.And is acting like he doesnt have a problem with drinking.And i told him i didnt want it to be like this when alexis is born and he said it wouldnt and i said yeah right because he says it all the time and then goes and does it again. and he hung up on me.It seems like im getting know where and its getting me really upset which isnt good for me and this baby.What should i do?I love him so much :*-(

Im dissapointed with his reaction :(
I know you love him..and this is probably one of the hardest choices you`ll have to make..but think about it:
1. its either your child growing up in an enviroment with an alcoholic father
or
2. growing up with a loving mom in a better enviroment.

Leaving him might be something to consider. As hard as it sounds..it might be something you have ti di for the sake of your first born baby girl.
Trust me, alchololism is NOT something you want your child around..i know because my friend lives with alcoholic parents and its horrible. Its rubbing off on her. Please dont let you or your child go through that. Its either he changes for you and your child..or i think you should leave him as hard as it will be.
Maybe then he`ll change.

Best of luck. I hope he makes the right choice
-melissa

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ok u people here on advicenators r my last help! not even my mom understands wat im goin through. well my boyfriend and i have been datin for a while and well now he's startin to scare me.
he's gettin very obsessive and im so scared that if i break up with him(which i want to) he's gonna do something crazy(kill himself or hurt me) the worst part is if he ever found out i liked his best friend he's gonna get very violent....i dont kno what to do!!! i try avoiding him but he gets madder and wonders if i dont like him..he told me that if i broke up with him he WILL kill himself

help me plzzz..no one understands i have no1 2 talk 2

This is serious..its no game. i would not confront your bf about this first because you would be in danger of getting hurt. Go to a school conselor or some kind of conselor immidediately and get him in there. Have your mom talk to his parents so they can force him into conseling. You can get a restraining order also. Thats a good idea. Do not approach him about this alone, he might hurt you. Get your parents involved in this..they`ll help you through it. This isnt fair for you to stay in and you need OUT asap! Best of luck..you`ll get through it hun!
-melissa

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When I was 12 years old, I was raped, and became pregnant. I never told my daughter how she was conceived. She is 13 years old, and I just found out that she's pregnant. Her boyfriend's father kicked him out of his house as a result. Abortion is out of the question. We have to decide whether my daughter and her boyfriend will raise the baby themselves or allow me to adopt the child. So I have three questions.

1. How do I tell my daughter the truth about how she was conceived?

2. Should I allow her boyfriend to move in with us, and if so, is it okay to make them sleep in seperate rooms? (His only other option is to move out of the country with his mother.)

3. Do you think it would be better for my daughter to raise her child or should I adopt the baby? (I was unable to have any other children.)

Sorry so long, but any advice would be appreciated.

Hey..im terribly sorry about what happened to you. :(

A) I definately think 13 is the right age to know. If you dont tell her soon, when she finds out at an older age she`ll be very upset. She desserves to know. I would sit her down and talk to her..tell her you were raped but your so greatful for her and ou love her very much. (she might get the idea shes unwanted being that you were rape but hopefully not)

B) yes i would let the boy live with you..and sleeoping in seperate rooms is appropriate. He desserves to raise the baby and be apart of the parenting. However, i think he should maybe get a parttime job because another body in the house = more needed money.

C) Yes, you adopting the child to raise is an excellent idea. The baby can still be around the birth mother and the father...but an adult taking part in the rasing of the child is a good idea.

Best of luck with everything! :)
-melissa

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Ok well...Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now and are now expecting a lil girl in october.I have put up with alot these past 2 years with him drinking and a bunch of other stuff and finally i got him to quit alot of stuff he use to do,and hes been doing really good except i see a pattern here.Its like everytime im not around he decides to go somewheres and drink and then gets himself in trouble no matter what.Just the other night a cop brought him here around 3 in the morning and he was drinking!He needs some help and i dont know what to do anymore.Hes going to be 22 but acts like hes 16 still.I love him so much but i dont want the baby to be around this shit.What should i do?? :*-( (Sorry its so long...)

I definately wouldnt let this slip by...sit him down and have a serious conversation abot your feelings and concerns. Suggest to him that he gets help..tell him you dont want your first child to be in that kind of enviroment. Your bf has to WANT to get help. If he isnt dedicated to fixing his problem..he wont get anywhere. Hopefully he`ll listen to you and really try and straighten up his act. Best of luck and congrats on the baby girl :)
-melissa

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My parents just told me they might be getting a divorce. I'm devistated. If they got a divorce, nothing would ever be the same again. Help!

I feel your pain :( Ive been there before. About a year ago my parents said the same thing to me and i was devistated as well. However, MIGHT is the key word..since last year my parents went to conseling and are really making an effort to make it work. Now they go out to the movies and dinner a lot and for now things are great...so its not a definate yet. Maybe talk to your mom and dad in private and ask if they`re considering marriage conseling. It worked great for my parents because now they go out to places like teenagers lol. So maybe the same will happen with your parents. You can even tell your mom you`d love to babysit your siblings (if u have any) so they can go out to dinner or something. If not..and they decide to divorce, its ok. Both of them still love you with all their heart..and theres plenty of kids out there who are going through the same thing.
Best of luck hun..drop me something in the inbox if you wanna ask somethin else. :)
-melissa-

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Well... I've been really depressed lately about my brother. He got shot exactally a year ago from today... I'm really sick of being sad... Does anyone have any advice on how I could possibly cheer up??!

I rate

I have no idea how your feeling or what your going through...and im so sorry for your loss.
Think about the good times you shared together while he was here. Your brothers wouldnt want you to be sad..he would want you to be happy. Share memories with your family, remember his smile, and how hes protecting you from above. Your brother would want you to live your life long and happy...he didnt get to have that..he would want it for you. Just say prayers to him..hes always with you...
-go out with your friends and have a great time
-get back into activities
-just live life to the fullest..nothing can ever get your brother back..but as time goes on i think you`ll find happiness.
God Bless your brother.
-melissa.

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hey!I was just at blockbuster and i just saw like the hottest boy ever! and like he was totally checking me out cuzi saw him and i was checkin him out and we were like walkin by eachother all througout blockbuster...its funny tho cuz it was really awkward cuz we didn't say anything. And next time i see him i wanna talk to him and stuff cuz he is so gorgeous and i dont kno what to say to him though. Does anyone have any tips on what to say to guys when you dont kno them but want to kno them? THANKS SO MUCH! *tasha*

Hey thats awesome! Well start it off by asking him to help you find a particular movie (even if you know exactly what you want and exactly where it is :) And while your walking together to get the movie...ask what his name is..age..etc. Thats how a convo will spark! He`ll carry the convo by asking the questions back..and he might even ask for ur sn or phone # ! It looks real promising for you because of how obvious it was that he likes you. So dont be afraid to ask for his sn first. :)
best of luck!! get that hottie! lol
-melissa-

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okay... i babysit for 2 people in my community and i think i am pretty good at it... im 13/f btw... and i dont know how to tell other ppl that have kids that i can babysit or let them know... any suggestions of getting their attention or asking without being rude or anything? thx soo much!
aim sn- luvinmydancin
~*Beccah*~

Hey if you have a little brother in daycare then have your mom tell the parents or something. If not..then start off by babysitting people your parents know maybe..or family. If you really want...you can post flyers around town. I guarentee it that you`ll get calls and offers. Babysitting for the neighbors is a greaat start..once you get started you`ll get more babysitting jobs because you`ll be suprised how fast you`ll get around by word of mouth :)
have fun and good luck!
-melissa

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My friends really likes this guy but i also kind of like him too. I am not sure what to do can ya'll plz help me.

Hey..who liked him first? Whoever did should have the first shot at him. If he turns one of you down..you should talk to your friend and ask if its ok if you give it a try or something.Your both entitled to like him..and maybe he`ll make it easier and ask one of you out..this way you dont have to fight..Whatever happens..dont let it ruin ur friendship. (im sure you know this :) )
-melissa-

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okay well theres this guy who has asked me out about 10 times and he wont stop asking me, and i keep saying no with excuses, how kan i tell him NO but in a nice way 2 get him2 go away? lol thanks.

Hey, just say "your a nice guy and im sure another girl would be very happy to be with you..but your not for me and i jusst want to be friends"
try it..hope it works!!
:)
-melissa-

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Ok this guy i really liked danced with me in slow and fast songs at a dance we had. I then found pout that i really like him but it was summer the next day ans schol was out so i have been thinking about im all summer. but i don't know if he likes me or not plz help me.

Sure i`ll help you. :)
Hey maybe hes thinking about you the same way you thought about him! You never know, until you gather up your nerves and go for it. In school..talk to him...maybe get his sn and talk to him online and ask flat out if he likes you. If that isnt for you then get one of his friends who your close with ..or one of your friends to get the deal for you. Whatever you do..dont let him slip away by not doing anything! You`ll regret it later. If you dont do anything..you`ll never know if he liked you back. Big deal if you get turned down..it happens to everyone. Best of luck! Be brave!! :)
-melissa-

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Ok well me and this guy have been best friends since the 6th grade… im in the 10th now… We used to be so close… Everything we did was with each other and talked about everything… Well one day I get a letter from him (we used t write each other like every class) saying I think Im starting to like u again… I was like woah what do u mean again and I was so confused… Well we talked and he asked me out and I said yes… But going out with him was like umm dating a brother… And I broke up with him… He was so heart broken… But after that it was never the same… We never ended up being the same and it got worse and worse… We practically only say hi and bye now… Bu one day I was going through his folder and I found my pictures in the back flap of his folder and a four page letter saying how hurt he was and everything was about me… But its one of those notes that ur pretty much writing to ur self… And I was reading it and I was crying… But the other day I saw a picture of him and it brought every feeling I have ever felt for him back.. And its like haunting me… Everything I do reminds me of him and like in 8th grade I did like him a lot but I never told him and all this stuff is bugging me so much… And I found out he had a girlfriend I was so freakin jealous!! What should I do?

Hey..if hes single now maybe talk to him about it..but to be honest..he might be afraid of getting hurt again. If your positive about your feelings..go for him and let him know how you feel.
best of luck!
-melissa

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Well im 16 and lately I have been feeling really lethargic and sad. I have cried pretty much every single day or I have been in a bad mood and didnt want to do anything. I can never fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning I am still tired and want to go back to bed. I took some tests online and one of them said that "The likelihood that you have major or clinical depression is high." and I took a few more and they pretty much said it was high. But I cant tell my mom or step dad about it because they will tell me im fine like they always do. They will say im just overreacting and its not a big deal. But I have been feeling like this for the past year or so, not constantly but it just gets bad sometimes. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?

Hey..if your sure your parents are just going to brush you off their shoulder like that, I would talk to a school counselor. This is your first steo to getting out of depression. If your parents continue to not take you seriously, things will only get worse unless you address the situation to a conselor. Maybe then your parents will take you more seriously and support you through your depression.
Best of luck..if you would like to talk or ask another question ..feel free to drop me one :)
-melissa

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i have 3 brothers and my dad...(my mom too but she isnt the prob.) well anyway..they ALWAYS piss on the seat..sometimes its a lot and i HATE that! im always the one to have to spray disinfectant and wipe it off. One time i was dumb enough not to look before i sat down..and i sat in piss! how sick is that..o man. i tried telling them how mad i am about that..i even tried leaving the seat up so they have more space to aim..but its not working. Should i try all this again only more seriously this time? Please help..i just wanna be able to feel that my own bathroom is clean..im so grossed out!

any help is great thank u so much!!!!!!

o man..that really blows. I have the same exact problem. I would either embarass them in front of other family members by mentioning how they piss all over the seat... would make a sign...or have a serious talk about it with them. Thats just nasty and nobody should have to feel like their bathroom is gross.

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my friends computer is screwy. when she tries to boot it up it beeps loadly in succesion and says Windows could not start because the following file is missing or corrupt: \system32\ntoskrnl.exe
now ive tried doing both setup and recovery both lead to the same message. i also tried using a boot disk and it still showed me that. there is no recovery CD because its all on the D drive but i dont have access to it. its on windows XP by the way.

hey..im goin through th exact same thing...only now i can finally get online but my computer is on safe mode. (i have no clue how i got online..i just tried to start it up and it worked) you should do what im going to do..the "computer doctor" knows best..so im gona take my computer into the shop so it can be fixed. If ur friend doesnt want to..maybe she can call them and if their nice enough they might spend a minute trying to help!
i wish ur friend luck...computers are so frustrating lol
-melissa-

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Ok well over the summer i went away and then i hung out with this guy that i knew for a couple of years now. And we always had a thing for eachother even tho we didnt really show it until last year. We got together and then school came and i wasnt able to see him and it was really hard for the both of us and i missed him so much over the school year and then finally summer came and i went back to Conn. to visit him and b4 i left he was tellin me how much he missed me and how he can't wait to see me and so when i finally got to see him we hung out that night and we had sex and it was good honestly but the thing was that we didnt get to finish so he was tellin me that he wanted to finish so when i went back to see him he didnt want to talk to me or anything and it really hurts cause i really have stRROONNNG feelings for him and he knos it i just dont no what i did wrong for him not to want to talk to me anymore and i dont kno what to do! :-/ PLEASE HELP ME!!!

hey are you sure he really didnt want to talk to you? Maybe he was just shy ...maybe he thought he didnt "perform" well ..guys are kinda self conscious about that. first, i would make sure that what u said is tue...that he really doesnt wanna talk to you. If its not true..ur in luck...but if it is true, then hes a scum bag who only used you for sex. Confront him...find out where he stands..if hes shallow and shows no interest in you anymore...then hes a scum and you should slap him in the face and forget him. You shouldnt be used like that. tell him u have strong feelings for him..and see how he responds.
good luck!
-melissa-

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