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I have a problem
Well let me say i am over 21 i have a real problem my boyfriend and i are together for three yrs i was married before this for fourteen yrs and now i live with my boyfriend we have never had sexual intercourse in 3 yrs. i am so bitchy because of it i have done everything to try to get him interested in sex. i have talked to him i have emailed him and once i even was gonna hook up with this guy in the area but he found out about it. and put an end to it. i do all the house work and more i wait on him basically hand and foot. nothing seems to work i am basically killing myself around the house to please him. but i do have to admit for the past few months i have been really bitchy. i do not wanna end this relationship although i do not know why except i have spent alot of money and time in this relationship for it to end. i have tried being nice i have tried everything i am at my wits end over this i no sex is not everything maybe that is what i am holding on to. in a way i feel he is driving me to another man's bed and if that is what he wants i will be happy to oblige. i dont think this is what he wants cause i no he is gonna dump me if he finds out i would love just to have sex for an entire day i think it would do alot for myself. yes if u have not guessed already i have a high sex drive and it is like a drug addict being cut off only worse like 5000 times worse we sleep in the same bed he tells me he loves me and i do love him. i have talked to drs like i said i have done everything. he lays cuddled up to me in the bed. which is hard. i cry alot over this. i have asked him what turns him on when i ask him there is no reply. i would be willing to do just about anything please help no i am not gonna go to a sex therapist cause he wont go but basically anything else
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have you told him this is killing you? and that you are sooo tempted to sleep with some other man because of this? other than that.. i dont know. since he found out the first time and you didnt say anything other than he found out, try it again and keep it more on the low. but be sure to tell him first so you'll have something to back up why your sleeping around if he catches you. hope i helped and good luck!
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when your in bed together try masturbating, firstly it will quell your drive a little bit, second off moaning turns a guy on. he might be insecure about his ability to please women so compliment him alot and look really happy after you kiss.
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You need to talk to him. Here's what to say, just adjust it to sound a little more like you:
"Please don't ignore me, because this is really important to me. I'm just wondering why we haven't had sex, even though we've been going out for three years. I know sex isn't everything, but I feel like you're rejecting my body, and that hurts. Is there a particular reason?" and take it from there. Maybe he's been hurt in the past or has an STD or some sort of "male problem".
Good luck and hang in there. I hope I helped! If you think I gave you good advice, then feel free to rate him. Thanks!
Kristin
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No no...you shouldnt have to go through this anymore. You have needs also and its not fair they arent being fulfilled. It will probably hard to leave him, but it might be the best thing to do. Who knows, maybe one day down the road he`ll be ready to take AND give in the relationship. Until then, i would get out of that relationship and move on to the man who will take AND give. You`ll be so much happier. It isnt right for you to stay in your current relationship and suffer when you can move on and be in a relationship with someone else that will be 100% better!!
Best of luck dear..if you have anything else at all to talk about or ask..just drop me something in the inbox :)
-melissa-
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Okay. You've lived with him for three years, and you want a real relationship, but you're not having sex? That's a little weird.
If you had some sort of moral objection, or if you both were happy not having sex, it would be a different story.
Point blank, this isn't a good relationship. You shouldn't have to go crazy cleaning the house in order to make your man happy; he should be happy enough to be with you.
If he's not willing to go to a sex therapist, this is just another sign that your relationship is not as important to him as it is to you. If he truly loved you, he'd be willing to consider options which might be embarassing to him.
I would wonder if he was sexually confused, not in love with you, or just a guy who doesn't like sex. In any case, the two of you do not sound compatible at all.
You sound strong, vibrant, and ready for a real two-way relationship. I'd end the one you are in now; you're not only going to dislike your boyfriend in increasing amounts, but you are going to lose respect for yourself if you stay with him.
Move on. Be strong by yourself; then find someone who is interested in a true partnership. This life is too short to be so unhappy.
Love is supposed to increase your happiness, trust, intimacy - not make you feel frustrated and alone.
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