icey0990's

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hey um this is kind of awkward, but i'm in 7th grade and i belive i have met "the one" and me and him want to go all the way (sex), and i am totally comfortable with it, but my parents arn't. should i do it with protection, or listen to my parents and not do it at all, but my dad is the one whos conserned my mom doesn't care. i've already talk to them about it, r u still a virgin? if not then how old were you wen you lost your viginity, please.... im so CONFUSED! i'll rate!

First off, i think its really cool that you can talk to your parents about having sex. Im also a bit suprised that your mom is fine with you having sex, but I guess everybodys mom is different. Im a sophmore and yeah, Im a virgin. I plan on being one for awhile i guess. I wouldnt do it right now, sex is a big deal. You dont have to have sex with this guy to show that hes mr right. I beleive you when you say you've found a great guy. So, for now how bout you lay off the sex idea and continue just being together? There will be plenty of sex in your life, you dont have to start now. I think in the end you'll be happier that you waited.
-melissa

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I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my boyfriend lately. I've been with him almost 6 years and we have 1 child together, our 1 year old son. My boyfriend is usually an all around nice guy who is family oriented and fun to be with. He is a dedicated worker and family man. But lately he seems self-destructive. Keep in mind he works two jobs so he is working 17 hours 5 days a week which he's been doing over a year now. He gets NO sleep, maybe 2 hours a night. That could be what's getting to him. But he is unwilling to make a change. I told him he either needs depression medication or a job change or both. So he's been extremely mean to me lately, turning everything I say upside down and picking fights with me in front of our son. He seems to not be caring about anything and he's so cold and hard inside. I prefer not to say exactly what, but he's been getting into something substance related, he's having like a relapse of our old party days or something, he's got the wrong friends. He actually took something out in front of our child and I had to pull him from his high chair and take him in the other room. He's like, "what, he doesn't know what's going on." and I'm like, "it' doesn't matter it's the act." Also, he smokes cigarettes and I hate cigarettes and we have an agreement not to smoke in the house. But he's been smoking in here anyway after I go to bed. I don't believe me and my child should have to suffer for his bad habit, he should take it outside. He knows my wishes but goes behind my back anyways. He would normally never do this. I'm not a mean girlfriend, just a good mother. So this is totally not normally him and I don't understand what is happening here. All he does is bitch about life and say how he's going to die early and stuff and I'm so sick of it now. He never wants to do anything anymore with us as family. I don't want our son growing up in this environment, but also, I really love and care about my boyfriend and know that something deep inside him is really wrong and I would hate to turn my back on him, but am tempted to kick him the fuck out, he's really pressing my buttons, it's like he's seeing how far I will go with this. Also, our sex life is nothing to complain about, just so you know. Is this something we may be able to get passed or is this an ending he has created and he's going to lose everything that's good in his life? I know it's up to him to make a change, but how much should I take? Once it's over with us, that's it, it's over, that's why I am putting off the end until whatever sets me off, sets me off. Please help.

I respect this guy for working extremely hard hours. You were right when you told him he needs depression meds and/or a job change. He should go in to see a doctor. If hes willing to see a doctor or a counselor or anything, i think things could clear up. This IS something you can overcome, but it will take yours and his efforts to do so. I really think your bf wants help so the family can be happy again and your child can grow up in the right enviroment.If your bf didnt care, he wouldnt be working those long hard hours. Have a long talk with him..maybe fix a candlelit dinner for when he comes home one night. Give him some good back rubs..and soothe him. Then talk about how stressed he is and how your concerned etc. and that he should see a doc. or a counselor about meds.
To answer your question about how long you should put up with this for...well, try what I advised to you and if your really getting nowhere after weeks and weeks, then think about leaving him. But if he begins to make progress, stick by him.
best of luck to you,him, and your child
-melissa

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What do you do when your best friend is kind of blowing you off and when you aren't hanging out anymore. I miss her and don't want to let go.

I would first talk to her online, on the phone, in person..which ever one you prefer. Confront her and tell her how you feel and how your hurt. Maybe she doesnt realize shes been leaving you out..maybe she has a reason or something who knows? But talk to her first...

It really sux sometimes but friends drift apart and sometimes theres nothing you can do about it :( Hopefully this isnt the case and i hope it all works out. I know how you feel..stay strong
-melissa

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i have my ex and i havent talked to him in 4 years i breakup was hard and sudden but i dont want to be his enemy forever i want us to be at least friends and i dont know if i should talk to him or just leave him alone and i think this girl has a HUGE crush on him and i dont want to get in it and mess it up i really need some advice i dont know what to do

In school try talking to him..act friendly and if hes in any of your classes..perhaps ask him how to do something. If hes online start convos with him etc. Things might not go back to being best friends with him, but at least you`ll have closure from the breakup and at least you wont lose someone special.
Good luck with everything
-melissa

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My best friend and I have gotten really close in the past year or so. He is such a sweet heart and I love him to death. He treats me like a queen. Whenever I see him we always make out and stuff. We havent done more then that, but lately I have been like really horny and I just want to seee him and have sex with him. I dont kno what to do? I am always horny. It's practically as bad as a guy. Even if he and I dont have sex I just want to get closer because I am in love with him and I kno that he loves me. What should I do???


**Samantha**

..Well, I wouldnt just have sex with someone. The guy would have to my bf who I really love. So I can understand your horniness..but maybe hold off on the sex part until you two go out for awhile .Thats just my opinion though. A lot of people are always horny..Well if you both really like each other then how bout you bring up the idea of you two going out? Get closer to him and see where it goes
-melissa

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one of my best friends is really going down hill. lately she has gotten really deep into drugs and drinking. it is not like her at all. lately it seems like she wants me to be mad at her and she gets really mad when i try to help or tel her i understand and am not mad. has anyone got a suggestion or have gone through a similar situation?

Yes, Ive been through this kind of situation with someone who was once my best friend. It was pretty hard for me, but I got through it and I know you can too. You've done your best at trying to help your friend through this, but she's either
(a) angry at herself for what shes doing
(b) frustrated etc
(c) extremely confused
You've reached out to her time and time again, and she keeps rejecting you. Why subject yourself to that? Its sad to drift away from a close friend, but until she sorts things out and decides what path to choose, I think you should hang out with other friends who wont do this to you. Its extremely hard ..but life is full of changes ..

hope i helped and i hope your friend sorts things out and decides drugs and drinking isnt for her
-melissa

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my friend is with this guy who cheats, talks really awful about her, and all this other crap, and a couple of my friends told her everything that he did, and she was like "i cant believe you'd say that! you're just jealous b/c he likes me and not you!" and we dont want her to get hurt, but we dont know how to get her to listen.. any suggestions?

I think your friend might be in denial. Maybe she just doesnt WANT to beleive it, you know? Well tell her again..and when she says your jealous..remind her that your her best friends and you dont want to see her hurt. Shes your best friend..how can she not trust you? Tell her that..and tell her how badly this guy talks to her. once you try and try and she still doesnt beleive you..what else is there to do? You warned her at least and tried your best. Theres nothing else you can really do except go all secret agent and take pictures and videos. But thats kinda to the extreme right? well you and your friends did the right thing..and if your friend doesnt wan to beleive you..then she ``ll find out the hard way :/
-melissa

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I'm a 13 grl and I'm really self concious about my body. I always think I'm fat but my friends say I'm not.. But I think they r just being nice.. I've thought about becoming anerexic. I know how it hurts ur body and stuff but I dont care. I've eaten less in tha last few days. Am i becoming anerexic? How do you know if you are?

If your denying your body food when your truly hungry..then those are some first signs. Theres a difference between eating healthy or dieting and anoerexia. Anoerexia is when you only eat a carrot for the day..etc. Do you have a scale at home? Suden weight loss is another sign. Have confidence in yourself and if your truly unsatisfied and your overweight or somethin..then make adjustments like eating healthier.
Hope i helped..and remember to have CONFIDENCE! :)
-melissa

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There's this kid at school and he always flirts with me. He always follows me around at lunch and stuff, and always follows me to my locker too
He's a pretty cool kid n'd evrything..but i just dont like him like that. i tryed telling him we're only friends but it's like he doesnt even hear me. He always tells me how much he likes me on aol.. and our school dance is coming up and im afraid he's gunnah ask me. I dnoo what to say to him. I dont just wannah say no were just friends cuz he might keep buggin me bout it :/ What should i do!?

Definately spell it out to this guy that your just ffriends~! Next time you say "we are just friends.." sand you dont think he heard you..or if you think he ignored you..then pull him aside and say...look we are just friends..your a cool guy but we are only friends. I know you dont waanna tell him that your just friends..but thats the truth and he needs to grasp the truth so he can get over you and just appreciate your friendship.
hope i helped and good luck
-melissa

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DO you know what parts of the body tennis works? Do you think tennis gets you in shape?
thanks!

Tennis works your legs(most definately), your arms, and upper body. You have to have good legs to move on the court to get to the ball, when you swing the racquet it works your arm muscles and tones them up also! Tennis is definately a great sport to play that gets you in shape if you play hard. Im on the tennis team and i can tell you first hand that if you play hard, you`ll feel your leg and arm muscles toning up.
Hope I helped out!
-melissa

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Ok.. hi. See me & my sister are like 9 years apart, she's 23 & I'm 14. She is always talkin bout how I shouldn't be mean to her, but she used to ditch me for her friends & crap. Ok, well, she's all of a sudden wanted to be "sisters" and I'm just like, no. She's all whiny & she's babyish. It really gets on my nerves but, when I wanna spend time with her she's always "busy". Ok well we have alot in common but she wont open up to me & tell me about her problems. She goes & tells mom (BIG mistake). Then mother goes & tells daddy & they talk about her so bad. I dont know what to do! I know I don't like her sometimes but hey, she's my sister. Please help!!

Maybe your sister is just trying yo make up for lost time and how she used to ditch you. I dont know, maybe now that shes like 24 and an adult..she wants to be closer to her family. So if your sister tells your mom something..and then ur mom tells ur dad...tell your sister so she's aware of whats going on. Also, tell your sister that if she wants you to talk to her about whats going on in your life, then she needs to open up also.
best of luck
-melissa

PS. Your lucky to have a sister.It seems pretty cool!i dont have one. I have three brothers lol

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I am 13 and my brother is 17 and he hits me and I dont know what to do I love him and he cane be nice he just gets mad really mad some times I dont know what to do

Hmm, what do your parents say? Talk to your parents about it..thats def not cool for him to hit you. Have your parents buy him a punching bag or weights or something. That will ease his mind from the stress and frustration he feels, which would lead to him not hitting you anymore. Thats a good way to start off..if it continues..keep telling your parents how upset you are..and suggest that he gets anger management or counseling..depending on how severe his problem is.
Best of luck,
melissa

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Everyone is calling me the school slut i never had sex before and only made out with 3 boys i dont get it! my best friend isnt friends with me anymore because her sisters dosent want her to hang around a slut. I go out with a lot of guys but im only young i mean i can understand if i slept around but i dont! please help what should i say and do!!

This proves how cruel and coldly people are to one another. especially high school students. This is horrible! Well, when people call you a slut or whatever you stick up for yourself, right? If no, then start to! Dont let anyone push you around or call you those names. Continue to stick up for yourself and talk to your friend. Shes supposed to stick by you during hard times ..not abandon you! If you continued to be harassed andh ave ppl calling u a slut..then i would talk to a teacher or a guidance counselor. It may sound dumb ..but it will stop all this crap from going on! Making out with 3 guys doesnt make you a slut! wat kinda school do you go to? thats horrible. Hopefully these morons who dont know what theyre talking about will move on from picking on you. If not..talk to someone so they stop.
best of luck
-melissa

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theres 2 guys that i like at my school. One of them doesn't even know who i am and the other one i dont talk to. I ve asked friends what i should do and always tell i dont know. Theres another guy that im staring to like and he is cute i talk to him only when i see him and i like never she him. I dont know what i should do to make any one of these 3 guys like me. Please help.
-ashley

hey, dont throw yourself at them..but use opportunities to talk to them. Are any of these guys in your classes? If so, ask them for help with A question (even if you know the answer lol)..or something like that.Are any of these guys on sports? If so..go to one of their games and the next day in school compliment them on the nice shot they made orwhatever. That will definately spark a convo. Who doesnt like compliments? If you have a friend who kinda talks to any of these guys..maybe get them to try and get you guys together. Get your friend to ask him "my friend ashley is single and i was thinkin of gettin u guys together..what do you think?"
good luck!
-meli

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sorry its so long.. Well friday i was wit my boyfriend.. well its the first time we did anything.. well his cousin knos bout it which dont bother me.. well my boyfriends cousin told one my friends.. well the guy his cousin told is somebody to chill wit but not somebody to tell that kinda stuff to cause he'll tell everybody.. he's done it before.. so should i let it go and forget it or is there something i can do.. before it gets to everybody.? please help cause i dont wanna be made out to be a hoe or something.. i rather our business stay between us..Thanks alot LaDessa..

hey, dont let that spread around! especicially because you said you dont want it getting around, and who does. Talk to the guy who your afraid will tell everyone. Get him to tell everyone he told that it was just a rumor n he found out its not true. You can stop it before it spreads around school!
best of luck
-melissa

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well im 13 (white) and this 15 year old (black)..likes me and a lot i guess. i dont no what to do, im not racist but i dont want to hurt his feelings..ive never been in a situation like this b4..please help

Hey i beleive you that your not racist. But..do you really like this kid? If you do dont hold your feelings back and go for it. theres plenty of interracial couples. if you dont, and the only reason why you dont is because of his color...then rethink your choice. You cant just tell him, "sorry..i dont like you because your black and im white.." but if you dont like him for a reason like "i just want to be friends " etc. then just be honest and tel him. Make a list of what u like and dont like about him. If the good stuff outnumbers the bad stuff..then hey.. you guys coould make a really cute couple :)
-melissa

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I seem to hate the hollidays becasue my fmaily is too poor to celebrate them. It used to be that we would celebrate them, but now we never do. I see all of my friends and their families celebrating it and im the only one thats not. And around the hollidays i get really depressed. is there any way to get me too feel any better aroudn these times? that would really help

Sweety, the holidays shouldnt be celebrated just once a year. Simply being with friends and family is what its all about. Not everyone can have the presents...family,friends,and love is the most important part of the holidays. Ive never been in your position before but i bet its tough :( This year it might be hard but hey maybe next year you`ll be able to celebrate it againn. Dont get depressed..just think of how thankful you are to have a loving family and friends. Hey who knows..maybe one of your friends will invite you to their house sometime over x mas break. Even if you and ur siiblings decide to make each other a present..that could cheer you up. A simple picture saying something like "I love my family" or "Merry Christmas" anything..could brighten up the whole home. Even if you bring home a bag of cookies from the cafeteria or something, your family will love the present because its from the heart. Stay strong..and hey if your 14 maybe get a side job so you`ll have some extra money! Then next year you can buy presents for your family :)
Merry Christmas..Happy Holidays :)
-melissa

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Last January I told my best friend that I had made out with someone before. It wasnt true-at the TIME I thought I had made out with somebody, but then I asked my older sister and it turns out what I thought it was wasnt, and I hadnt made out with him, just kissed. I was so embaressed (I had told 2 friends and 2 guys it was a small get-together) I haven't told any of them it wasnt true. But my friends are still persisting to know who it was. I dont want to say I lied to them because thats embarressing, but its hard to keep this up cause I'm a bad liar! My best friend said she wasnt sure if she even believed me! I dont want to be like 'in 8th grade i didnt even know what making out was' not to mention the fact ive kept this up forever but its getting out of control! HELP!

hey..if this is really bugging you and you wanna set it straight..then just set it straight! theyre your friends right..so threy should have no prob with it. I have a friend who didnt know what jiz was..but no biggie we had a couoke kaughs as a jok and it was done with. Theres nothing else to really do. You could either come clean and tell them you thought it counted as making out..but u were wrong..or..you could simply just not tell them. Think about which one you wanan do..making a list might help. But really, if you deicde to tell them they should be ok with it b/c theyre your friends

best of luck
-melissa

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I've been working at the same place for over a year and I really enjoy working there. I feel like I've established myself as a good employee. A past roommate of mine who I didn't get along with well and only see infrequently recently applied for a position at the same place I work. Apparently, she told my boss and others she spoke to that she knows me well and that I would be excited to work with her. She pretty much said that I really wanted her to work there and would recommend her. The problem is that I know this person is not a good worker. She is irresponsible about coming to work and tends to slack off when she does come. She's not very respectful to employers either and tends to demand that they give her time off whenever she wants it. I'm concerned that this person's job performance could reflect negatively on me, since she pretty much used me as a reference without my permission. Should I approach my boss about this? What should I do if my boss asks me about her? What can I do to distance myself from this person so that her poor performance won't make me look bad?

Hey..if it was me, I would definately approach my boss first. Dont wait around to see if he`ll talk to you..I would talk to him. Tell him the honest truth..and Im sure your boss will appreciate that and fire this girl. Take care of business! Its not right that she did that to you without asking permission, and I would tell her exactly how I feel. Dont let her get away with the crap she pulled..confront her and sset her straight!
-melissa

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Ok well... I have this kind of a proble. i have been having some serious family problems and i kind of mad a mistake. The other night i got into a fight wiht my dad and he told me that he had no family or anything, including me. So i got really upset andi didnt know what to do so, after about a year and a half of not doing so, i started cutting myself again. and i got realy scared at one point becasue i cut my vein! and that was about 2 nights ago and myh wounds still keep bleeding, and i dont know what to do! i cant tell my dad bwcause he's insane! what sghould i do? im scared

This is really serious. Do yourself a favor and get yourself help. You dont have to tell your father. You can tell a conselor at school or an adult you trust. They should get you to a hospitol or some kind of treatment center. Talk with a psychologist..whatever you do, dont wait! Get help..its for the better. Dont be ashamed..everyone runs into realllly tough times in their life , including me. Get help now, and you`ll be happy later, trust me. Take this seriously..once you get help, things will brighten up. Good luck, stay strong..and remember..talk to someone ASAP!
-melissa

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