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with a name like maria

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advice

I need to know what to do about my husband and daughter. My 5yr old daughter dont talk and avoids my husband.. My husband tells me he loves her but thinks she is a brat. He told me i should think bout puttin her in counciling. I told him he should go with her..because the problem is both of them..My husband refuses to make the 1st move, like talking 1st or asking her to come sit with him.. He says he aint letting a 5yr old run his life.. he tells her more when she does something wrong then praise her. She has her moments of not listening..she gets punished.. he says shes too far up my butt..however i am a very affectionate mother..both of my girls are always over me..this is affecting our marriage. he says he dont know whats going to happen if she dont change.. she is my world as my other daughter is..the only difference is ..she isnt biologically his..she comes from my previous marriage..but her real father took off after she was 3. he is always holding, loving on and playing with my 1 1/2 yr old, and looks right by her.. what should i do? am i going to have to make a choice between her and my husband? how can i fix this? Please help..

You're daugher should of course come first! If you don't put her first, then she's going to put you through hell when she's older! As for the guy, he needs to understand that a child should be the first priority! And I don't think counsiling will help a 5 year old very much since she is very young and probably won't understand what the heck is going on! But your husband can still go and maybe that will help him make the first move of showing some affection and love to your daughter. But I say definetly choose your daughter before anything else! You can find love from another man any day if this one gives up! Guys will be guys but your daughter should always be your first choice! I know I would be so pissed off at my mom if I ever found out that she was confused about choosing me over anyone else! But good luck with everything!

♥ Always,
Maria

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I am not sure what i have but some times when im scared, doing nothing, or exercising my heart beats fast and i can feel the pressure of it and i when that happens i look down at my shirt and you can see my chest vibrating from my heart. Im afraid that this could be serious, either if it is or not i would like to know what it could be and how i can treat it or do things to help it.
thnx to whoever responds.

Hmm my dad had the same problem. He went to the doctor to get it checked out. It turned out he had a thyroid problem. So you might want to check it out. But it could be just nothing. Go to the doctor just to be sure!


♥ Always,
Maria

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Okay my friends b-day is coming up and i want to give her a mix CD well I duno how to get the music. I know how to make the cd and everything. but is there any sites where i can get the music to put on the site?? thanks so much i rate high

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=NuMbA1_MuSiC_sOuRcE


Just choose a site. The songs play in WMP. Or you could download Limewire.


♥ Always,
Maria

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On my advice colum, where it says Welcome and then your username .. well is there any way I can change that? Thanks! I rate !

Nope.


♥ Always,
Maria

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for a talent how i want to sing if i aint got u by alicia keys and i dont have a kareoke tape or cd for it. does anyone know where i could get one?

You can go into Best Buy or Sam Goodys or some place like that and buy a Kareoke CD. Or you can go into any stores that sell Kareoke machines and they should have a butt load of Kareoke CDs also. My parents bought me a butt load of Kareoke CDs from Wal Mart or Target.
You could also download an instrumental version of the song on Limewire and burn it onto a CD.


♥ Always,
Maria

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Okay Me and my botfriend just started going out, and i have ALOT of feelings for him. He is moving in April though and I dont want to break up with, but i dont want to get hurt. He told me that he would come back every weekend and wednesday, and he is finishing out the year. What was so convient is that he lived right down the street. I need some good advice for this one.

much love yal!

He sounds like he really cares about you! So I don't think you have much to worry about! Try out the long distance thing and see how it works out. If you don't like just seeing him a few days out of the week, then call it off and maybe when he finishes up, you guys can go back to where you started!


♥ Always,
Maria

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omg! i know you dont know me but i just wanted to tell you that we have the same name! i saw your picture on your column and im guessing that youre spanish right? i dont mean to seem racist or anything im just wondering. im not, im actually blonde. i really like your poem too. it describes exactly how i feel, i need a garage band prince, for a lonley punk rock princess.

much love, maria

I'm partially Spanish from my mom's side. But she's Filipino and my dad's a yankee. So I'm pretty much mixed and my dad's side is from all over the place! And that poem thing is a song by Something Corporate! I love that song! And I love that band! =D Much love back to ya!


♥ Always,
Maria

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when u smoke pot do u get high the first time? some people say you do and some say you dont.

I'm pretty sure it depends on how much you smoke the first time. But I think as you get more into it, then you'll be smoking it more at one time and you'll be pretty high. But for the first time, I don't think you should take in a whole bunch...


♥ Always,
Maria

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I really really like this guy! My friend is going out with him though and i dont think she knows that i like him! But they are really cute togher and i dont want to make her mad! He is a good friend of mine to! So it's hard to tell eaither of them because i dont know what's going on with them!! what should i do?

I would wait until they break up and then tell the friend and see if she gets mad. If she seems fine with it, then I would tell the guy that I like him. But if she doesn't agree with it, then I would remain loyal to her. I mean, friends should go before any guy!


♥ Always,
Maria

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Well hi I really need help. I saw this guy that is my frinds friend and we r going out. Then one day when we were at dinner he told me that he is a crossdresser. Ya no not a guy that dresses like a girl, a GIRL! that dresses like a guy! I was petrified! I didnt know what to do. I mean im in love with a girl, now I felt dumb that I was d8ing a girl the whole time. She keeps on calling trying to apologize but I dont want to pick up! What do I do?

Be honest with her and tell her that this really freaked you out. She would definetly understand and probably try to make things work out again.


♥ Always,
Maria

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Im an american but ive been living in England for two years, and im moving back to america for my senoir year in the summer.(back to the same school)Im going to have to take my SAT's in october as they dont have them here. Any advise from people who have already taken sat's? anything i should study? please help, because there's no one i can ask here!

You can buy one of those SAT practice tests that have the types of questions that are similar to those on the actual test. I'm pretty sure you can buy those at pretty much any bookstore.


♥ Always,
Maria

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i have these jeans that i want to put rinestones on. what kind of glue should i use???

Fabric glue. It worked wonders for me!


♥ Always,
Maria

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I am 15 I had my 1st love and after we broke up I was down all the time and i cud never have a boyfriend cause they always reminded me of Joey then after 9 months of being single i got back with my ex CJ and we were happy i forgot all about joey then we broke up and he is with my bestfriend..I try to have a boyfriend to forget about Joey and CJ but it dont work..I cant find a guy 4 me...Whats wrong with me?? Please help!!!!!!!

I used to feel this way too. I used to think that by getting another boyfriend would help me forget about my very first love. But yea that didn't work out too well. Maybe you could use this time to focus on yourself. When you're in a relationship, you have to think about the both of you and what he would approve of. But since you're single, you can do whatever you want without worrying about someone watching your every move! Being single is one of the most fun times that you can have! Enjoy it.


I also think that love comes when you stop searching for it.



♥ Always,
Maria

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can the foods you eat affect your skin(acne)? does eating chocolate or greasy foods make you break out? and does makeup make you break out? i heard these were a myth but i think this is true.. well in my case.
THANKS!!

Nope, it's a myth. Hormones and oils in your skin will make you break out though. So if you have acne, I would try using Proactive. Seriouslly, that stuff will make everything so much clearer in 2 weeks if you use it right!


♥ Always,
Maria

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every time i try to burn my music onto a blank cd-r cd using windows media player, when i click copy it says "insert blank cd-r" and i DID insert a BLANK CD-R, and it IS in the right drive, but it still doesnt recognize it. why, and what can i do?

It used to do that to me too. But I tried a different brand of blank CDs. I can't remember what brand it is though. But just go out and buy a different brand. I hope this works! But it also might because it's scratched up or something on the CD is screwing up.


♥ Always,
Maria

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Is it true that sperm dies once air hits it??

Hmm I think it dies 6 hours after it leaves the body...But no, it's not true. I'm pretty sure it's around 6 hours though.


♥ Always,
Maria

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17/m Last weekend a very close friend of mine told me that she liked me. I said that I liked her too and that we should go out sometime. The reason that I said that I liked her is because everything deserves a chance. Well we have been on two dates and it is clear to me that she likes me way more than I like her. How do I let her know that I want to be just friends with out ruining a good friendship? I rate high.

Just tell her that you think you'd be better off as friends. I know I would appreciate that way more rather than hearing it from someone else. It would crush me if I heard it around school or something. Just tell her that all you really want from her right now is a friendship. Trust me, if I heard it from someone else rather than you, I wouldn't ever talk to you again because I wouldn't know how to act around you! But if you just told me, then I would feel way better about the whole situation because I would know how to act by the way you told me and I wouldn't feel like you were annoyed or anything!

♥ Always,
Maria

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how do u do everything on xanga i give 5's!!!!!!!!

Oooh I could really help you out there! I love Xanga! Drop me a comment at...:


http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mariia___x3



I'd love to help you! =D



♥ Always,
Maria

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is it normal for guyz to go to a tanning bed or get a spray tan?

I would say do it if you need it! Not every guy can get away with being somewhat pale.


♥ Always,
Maria

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i cannot stand my life anymore. i am 13 and NEVER had a boyfriend. my friend is 12 and has had 7 boyfriends and hooked up with 2. i feel like if i stay so lonely then i will seriously die of a broken heart. i watch my friend hook up with her boyfriend and wonder why wont anyone do that to me? why? im pretty, im sweet, im nice, im flirty. why the fuck am i single and prude? i tried to get my so called 'friend' to find me a boyfriend. she told me 'find your own goddamn boyfriend' i cant stand this. she wants a guy, she gets him, why cant she help a poor innocent girl who will die of loneliness find a boyfriend to love and who loves her? please help what can i do to get a boyfriend and not be so lonely and depressed? thanks sooooo much

Well I'm 14 and I've only kissed and had a serious relationship with one guy. And it was the same guy! Being "prude" isn't necessarily a bad thing! When you finally meet that guy, then he'll be glad that he won't be getting any leftovers! He'll be happy! So don't stress over it so much. And if you truly feel lonely, then just hang out more with people. And for the depressed part, just talk to someone about it. Or do something that truly makes you happy like music or something that lets you feel like you're escaping from reality.


♥ Always,
Maria

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