I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28384
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i really like a boy but i not sure how he feels about me . how can i find out???? (link)
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Is there anyone that the two of you know mutually? See if you can find one of his friends and get some information from him. If you can't ( or the friend acts as if he knows nothing ), then rest assured that he will tell the guy you like that you asked about him, and that alone should get the ball rolling one way or the other.
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I am a really shy girl...I don't talk volunteerely in school to anybody. I have this crazy idea to ask him out. He's seen me before, but we don't actually know eachother. I'm so confused. I want to ask him out because I realize this is my life and I have to start living it to the fullest.
Please...I don't want to confront him even though I would have to in order to ask him out. What do I do?...besides putting a note in his locker because there's cameras in my school so that's out of the question. Plus, my school is very loud and there's always somebody in the hallway. Please help me. I'm so nervous but you don't understand how badly I want to do this. (link)
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Well, if you find it hard to ask him out verbally, and the note in the locker is out, then why not be a bit more discreet. Find a time when his books are laying about, unattended, and simply slide the note into it. You could also opt to simply walk up to him, hand him the note, and keep going.
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whats an orgie? (link)
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If you have to ask, you're probably too young to know.
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Okay, I have a boyfriend who goes to my church (on wednesday nights) but i never see him because he never goes anymore and he doesn't go to my school. i want to dump him because i have this other boyfriend who i want to dump because he never sees me or calls me and i don't have his number and he doesn't go to my school. Okay, I want to dump both of them because I like this other boy who DOES go to my school and i know he likes me. If i ask him out though then ill have 3 boyfriends. i consider myself as if i don't have a boyfriend but i know i have to and soon will have 3. What to do? (link)
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Why would you be in the position to have two to begin with? Do you feel that it makes you more appealing? Anyway, I think it's commendable that you do realize that you have to free yourself from the other two, regardless of how you term the relationships. This is really not a hard decision. If you want this third guy, then get rid of the other two. It's the only fair and MATURE thing to do.
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MY EX BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME AWHIEL AGO AND I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD FORGET HIM AND YET EVERYTIME I TRY I SEE ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES OF US AND WE STILL TALK SOMETIMES BUT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW AND IVE HAD OTHER BOYFRIENDS BUT I STILL THINK OF HIM IN THERE PLACES AM I JUST PATHEIC OR WHAT? (link)
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No, you're not pathetic. It's common for us to freshly see the "bad" in someone WHILE we're breaking up or shortly after having done so. As time goes on, however, we have a tendency to remember the good that cam along with the relationship, as well. That's where you are now, I would think. It's very normal and doesn't make you pathetic in any way. All it takes is a little more time and you'll soon be able to think about the "good times" without feeling the need to have them again.
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I took your advice and it worked. He's going to wait for me and i told him that we were going to fast and he understood said he would wait as long as I wanted to. Thank you. (link)
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Fantastic! Then it sounds like you have a very good man. But, we only get what we give, so that must mean that you're quite the good catch yourself. Good luck. Glad I could help.
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my friend mari just got dumped by this kid zack and he likes my friend nicole.. and nicole liked him. well, mari found out about nicole and zack and she told nicole that she doesnt want them going out because she still likes zack. i tried to tell nicole not to do it because her and mari are friends. well, nicole did it to mari. and they are both my friends and i dont want to get stuck in the middle of everything. then they went to a basketball game. and nicole told me that mari went up to her and said that she is going to get zack back. and i asked mari if thats true and she said no. then she went and told nicole that i told mari nicole punched her in the face. and i didnt. and i dont know what to do! (link)
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Tell everyone to stop having anything to do with Zack. He sounds like the low life in all of this. He shouldnt have apprached anyone he knew was a friend of his ex.
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I haven't had a boy friend yet but I feel like I could just pick any boy and have sex with them but i'm afriad to ask to hook up with the guy.
I just REALLY REALLY REALLY!!!!!!!! need sex do you think i'm desperate HELP ME (link)
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No, you're ust experincing the rage of hormones that come along with your age. There's nothing worng with that within itslef. BUT, there IS something worng with your feeling that you can just pick any guy and have sex with him. Have you tried masturbation? Does it do anything for you? That should release some of the urges that you find raging inside AND....it's a hell of a lot safer than your first choice.
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Why can't he see all the signs I try to make whenever he looks at me I try to look back and make eye contact but he always turns away too quickly. . i really love him! I cantt ake my eyes off of him. . and soemtimes I think he gets annoyed because I stare at him so much. . I just melt wheneerI try to go talk to him I cant do it. . im too nervous I dont have anything to say I men we could talka bout his football. . ugh and well I dont think hed like me. . and Im so negative. . Are his looks of anger? or for love? I dont understand if he likes me or not. . I rlly like him and I wish I could have a chance with him. . we never get to talk anyways except 4 lunch but he is with all his friends. . and so I just want to atleast be his friend! My life is so horrible MAKE IT STOP! HELP ME! Iw ant to ask him out. . should I I mean I have known him 4 4 or 5 months already. . but I only know that hes funny, sweet & really cute. .HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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First of all, quit lying about "only wanting to be his friend". You want to be his friend because you see that as an "in". Once you are though, you know you're going to try and do everything in your power to try and make it more. So, either accept that now, or your setting yourself up for hurt. What if he did allow you to become friends, and that's it. How horrible would you feel?
Now, approach him from a point of his likes. Make him WANt to talk to you. Dig up something that you know he will find ineteresting and try striking up a conversation from there. Soon, you'll start to see clearer signs of how he feels.
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If you're still stuck on an ex who has a new g/f, are you as pathetic as you feel? (which is very pathetic) (link)
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No...actually it only means that you really cared. I've never seen anyone who TRULY cared, get over and move on easily. So, stop using the word pathetic, 'k? It may take some time for you to get over him. And his having a new girlfriend doesn't help much. Sometimes it makes us feel like we weren't good enough and that's what led them to be with soemone else. That's not the case. Some people just appreciate different things. Some don't appreciate at all. Doesn't mean you're any less of a person because he did find someone else. Roll with it, go through it, and move on. You'll be fine.
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ok well I have known this kid for about 2 years right. and we would date off and on. and this year I started dating him again and I introduced him to my bestfriend because I wanted them to know each other but I didn't want them to start liking each other.ok well my friend came up with the idea that both of us would date him at the same time. and I love my friend to death and i would do anything for her even this so I was like I guess. so after like 2 days I was like to my friend if you like him that much you can just go out with him I odn't like him anymore hes all yours. but I relaly didn't mean it so now the go out but I wanna tell her how I really feel what should I do? (link)
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What "friend" would suggest that both of you date your boyfriend? What "boyfriend" would date your best friend? I think you didn't want them to like each other because you already distrusted your friend and you knew something like this would happen. You know what, hon? If he DID go out with her and she continues to go out with him, you DON'T want him anymore, trust me. And better yet, I'd take a long look at keeping her around as a "friend".
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I'm a 16 year old girl. Lately I have been really distant and detached from everything, and I don't know what makes this attractive or if the moons are aligned or what, but all of the sudden I'm getting all of this attention from guys at school. Any other time I'd be thrilled to death, but right now I'm just kinda like, "Eh." The guys that have professed their feelings, indirectly or through my friends, are great as friends, but I'm just not interested in them in a romantic way. A month ago I'd even be happy to go out on a date with whomever, but now I want to be boyfriend-less and have a good time hanging with my friends and concentrating on school.
The one guy I do have a little bit of interest in is currently into someone else.
How do I turn these guys down without hurting their feelings or making an awkward situation? I still want to hang around with them with my friends, just not in one-on-one sessions.
Ugh. (link)
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You don't seemlike anyone that as ANY trouble expressing themselves. You do so quite well. When they ask, tell them exactly the same way you stated it just now and I'm more than sure that will be enough.
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I guess, any answer to this is just a matter of opinion, but here goes....Um...Ok, my ex b/f has a new g/f, and they seem to being going strong. But, in school he seems so unhappy. I don't know. I still really like him. And I'm not saying that I won't date other people for him, or not hang out with my friends to just sit around and wait for him. But, I don't know. What do you guys think? (link)
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I'm interetsed in knowing that if he IS unhappy, what makes you think that it's automatically the new g/f that's doing it. If you are still on a friendly basis, then ask him if there's anything he may want to talk about. Tell him that it appears that he's a bit unhappy about something and let him kno you're there. Let me caution you, though. Stay away from any type of "getting back together" talk. If it's NOT his girlfriend that he's unhappy with, your insensitivity may just run him away.
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I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing about these type of problems, but...there's someone at school who I'm really interested in. He has a girlfriend, and I'm fine with that, but I'd like to be closer with him friend-wise. He comes up to me sometimes and occasionally sits with me for long periods of time. The only problem is, I'm extremely shy and have a lot of trouble conversing with him. I usually end up staring into space, wishing I knew what to say, while he talks a little bit. Of course I don't stay completely silent the entire time, but I feel like my lack of interesting things to say is keeping us from becoming real friends. What should I do? (link)
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Explain to him why you have such trouble talking around him. tell him that you're shy and that you don't want to give him the impression that he's boring you, you're not interested, or whatever the case may be. Knowing that, he may make it a little easier for you to be comfortable enough. Or at least having the weight lifted off of your shoulders will.
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Alright, my friend liked this guy and so did i. It all looked as if he liked my friend, but when she asked him out she found out he liked me... then he was being all a jerk to my friend... but she still likes him and can't stop liking him... ummm... then he asked her out cause i guess he realized he was being a jerk... she said i don't know... he said all suprised "You don't know!?!?"... then she talked it over with her other friend and she said no... she still likes him and now knows i like him... should I go out with him... my friend said to me the other day "Why would u want to go out with him if you saw him be such a jerk to me?" and i though about that and can't decide, and i'm afraid my friend will hate me if i do but i like him. (link)
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Hmmm, he asked your friend out because he "realized he was being a jerk"? Well, I'll let him keep telling that story and I'll let anyone who wants to beleiev it do so. The bottom line is, if he liked you, there would be no reason to ask her out. He could have very simply chose to end being a jerk because he knew the two of you are good friends, not ask her out on a date.
So....what should you do? Listen to your friend, she sounds like she's got a good handle on things. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement. She may still like him, but she was smart enoughto turn down his offer to go out. You should do the same, leave him in the dust and let him find someone else to play with.
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okay im like with this guy on the net and stuff and we've like been 2geter for two months rite and i like really like him and like he's all like saying about how much he luvs me and junk and want to like sped eterinity with eachother and im like i don know and like what do i like do. (link)
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What kind of feeling do you get from him? Have you even MET him ( face to face)? Not saying that he's a bad guy or anything, but it's been two months and he's already talking about spending eternity with you? Hmmmm, doesn't like he's one for taking his time.
Give it some time. Tell him exactly what you feel, even if it's not what he feels. Don't be afraid of hurting his feelings. Better he should know now than later. If you feel it's moving a bit fast, and obviously you do, or you wouldn't be at such a loss about what to do, tell him and ask that you slow it down a bit. Tell him that you do like him, buit feel that things are moving just a little too fast for your taste. If he DOES truly LOVE YOU and wants to spend eternity with you, etc., etc., he'll understand and should be willing to give you all of the time you feel you need. If not, then there's your answer.
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I have been dating a man for the past 5 months and have fallen in love with him. He has told me he loves me and wants to marry me some day. We practically live together. I've never been happier. The problem is his 10 year old daughter. He is supposed to see her every other weekend but she refuses to see him because of me. She won't go to his house as long as he's dating me. I promised that for now on his weekends with her I would stay out of the picture but she still won't see him. I don't want to come between him and his daughter but I don't want to lose him either. He feels like he has to choose. What should I do? (link)
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God, my heart goes out to you. It's really hard on children of divorce when they have close relationships with both parents. Wonderfully enough, is the tiews between the father/daughter. I know this child loves her father incredibly, as does my own daughter. Sometimes I feel like noone should be loved as much as she loves me. I think the problem here could be one of two things. One, the mother could still find herself in love with the father and could be using his daughter to remove what she sees as the impeding factor in their reconciliation. If that's the case, then the most you can do is wait it....and HER ( the mother ) out. Chances are that after a while, the daughter will stop the actions and demanding. She will see it as not fair and quite frankly....boring, and move on.
Number two, which is probably more to the point, is that she may feel that the new woman in Dad's life may be in the postion to take her place and her Dad's love. She sees you as a threat and the best way for her to eliminate that threat is to simply not have it around. Children are great manipluators. That's the only viable option she sees at this point. If at all possible, have your boyfriend sit down with her, and explain to her that although you happen to be in his life right now, that in no way will he EVER feel less for her than he always has. Remove some of the threat in her eyes and then if you're able. get to spend some alone time with her ( when SHE allows it ) and you reassure of her of the same. It may help if YOU tell her just how much her father loves her ( in an aside kind of way ), " You know, your father loves you to death. You're all he talks about.etc., etc., ) She then has the impression that even when he's with you, he talks about her and that gives her an extra sense of value and importance in her mind. Bottom line, stroke her ego. Either way, it's going to take a while. But I assure you, it will be well worth it. Whatever you do, don't relinquish your own happiness. If it's not supposed to be, it won't. but give it everything YOU'VE got. You deserve it.
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My ex boyfriend dumped me over about 2 months ago and im still hung up on him. Even though he's moved on. I really want to get back together with him and I can't stop thinking of him, and he doesn't even notice me anymore. What do I do?
SL (link)
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Take a deep breath....and do as he did...move on. Try to think of the things that make you happy, the places you like to go and people you really like to be around. Throw yourself into these. It's still going to be hard, but after a while, you'll find yourself thinking of him less anb less.
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I have a boyfriend, David. His ex-girlfriend is my best friend. I made the mistake of allowing him to come over while she was over. I know that he has no feelings for her what-so-ever, but she likes him. She was hanging all over him. I couldn't get her to stop.Now she is saying how she wants him back, she won't get him, but how do I get her to leave us alone without being mean? (link)
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Although you may be at fault for their impromptu eeting, you're not at fault for her being allowed to continue her actions. At some point, HE needs to make it clear that whatever they had is now over...that's not your responsibility. And besides, she may not listen to you, anyway.
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What do you do when you've been dissed by the one guy you really really like? You tell him something and your happy and he wants you to stop being happy because he's annoyed. Is that being dissed or is he just stating his mind?
Need to know,
Rose Masaki (link)
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Nothing. He's not annoyed, he's jealous. If you really like him and think it may be long-term, then simply explain to him that you understand his being annoyed, but you refuse to stop feeling the joy that the particular incident has brought you. You would feel alot better if he would SHARE in your joy, but if not, you won't force him, but you will not stick your happiness in the background to appease him.
If he's only someone that you have an interest in, and there's nothing really concrete there...move on. That doesn't soundlike the kind of guy you want to be with, anyway.
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