Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32718
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Cmae out to my mom....now shes cracking jokes and saying she would have to deal with it but cant stand to see it....now my girlfriend is upset because she has a son and wanted the whole big family thing but now feels like she will be on the backburner when it comes to family functions. what can i do? (link)
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Sit down and talk to your mom seriously about it, It is not easy for people to come out of the closet. Talk to her about how you feel about your girlfriend, How it bothers you how she makes remarks about your personal choices. Keep in mind that coming out of the closet...Not everyone is going to approve of it, Sometimes it takes people awhile to adjust to it and sometimes people actually need to see it to believe it. If you are serious about your girlfriend then you need to show her that, No matter where you go there will ALWAYS be that one person to think differently. You need hold your head up high and ignore it, Relationships need to have bond because in the toughest times of a relationship that bond is what helps you get through the hardest times. If someone where to criticize you and your girlfriend you both need to know how to deal with it. Talk to your mother
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I just bought a new 40" LCD TV. I am wondering if
spending the 10.00 a month extra for the Direct TV
HD package is worth it?
The picture looks great to me now without it. Will I really notice a big difference adding HD?
Thank you. (link)
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In my opinion why waste the money if the TV already looks good? Sure if you want to spend the extra money go for it...but I would pocket the money instead of paying for something that might make a little big of a difference.
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19/f. I am a full time college student and during the school year, there's no way i can have a job. i was thinking of getting a summer job, but right now i can't find one. i've searched EVERYWHERE! it's not like i haven't. i just need need to make some extra cash on the side. it doesn't have to be a lot. i'd just like to be able to buy my boyfriend things. he always buys me gifts and cute things and I feel bad sometimes because i want to get him stuff too. he doesn't work either but his parents give him money. my parents barely make any money, at least not enough so they can give me for spending money. i just want to make maybe like $400 a month. less than that is ok too. just spending money. i make these really amazing chocolate lollipops and i use to sell them in high school for fundraisers. but, i don't know if people would buy them now. something like that would be good for me. just something i can do. i can't really handle a job right now. i tried that and i couldn't do it. i don't have the money to pay for college and i have a full scholarship because i have good grades, so i need to keep them up. tutoring is a little harder for me to do because i don't know that many kids other than my family and i wouldn't charge them. any ideas on what i can do to get some spending money on the side but that it won't interfere with my school. thanks! (link)
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Make some baby sitting ads, You could try babysitting during the summer. You don't have to over charge, You don't have to under charge just ask for about 8-10 dollars an hour. Most mothers would rather hire someone who is older and more mature then rather hire some 13 year old and by putting out ads you have a hire chance at getting a phone call.
You could also try dog walking, Many people don't always have time to walk their dogs while they are at work and someone needs to let the dogs out to go to the bathroom that could be you.
If you make some chocolate lollipops, It wouldn't hurt to try and sell them even if you sold them in packs of 3 for 2 bucks, Money is money and it all ads up in the end. If you have a senior center nearby you could try selling them there.
There are always ideas out there, You just have to find them but I would try doing these things I suggest and hopefully it all works out for you.
Good luck
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18f.
i want to wear my extensions when i'm going to have sex. wearing my extensions makes me just feel really hot and have alot more confidence. the thing i'm worried about is .. there clip in extensions so they could easily be pulled out,etc.
have any of you girls worn clip in extensions during sex and had them come out? pretty embarassing that would be .. but i'd really like to wear them.. (link)
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There are plenty of other ways to spice up sex and feel hot, You can wear them but I wouldn't recommend it because if they fall out that would be even more embarrassing..
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I broke up with my long distance ex-boyfriend 3 weeks ago. I've decided no contact with him is best for me to get over him, so we haven't spoken in 2 weeks so far.
The 1st week was a little hard, 2nd week easier, and this 3rd week's been going good. Until today.
I found out today he is now in a new relationship. It's been 3 weeks!! Well, 2 since we talked.
I was doing soo well, not crying over him/thinking about him as much..and then this shocker happens. It's like I'm right back at square one. But I left him because he treated me like crap, and I KNOW I deserve better. But we dated for 10 months, and knew each other for 1 year. And he's with another girl in 3 weeks?! He told me his ex-girl before me took him 2 years to get over!!!
I just need advice. I REALLY WANT to get over him, I know he's not the person for me, but obviously I still care for him. I know it takes time. I think not talking to him helps, the only thing is I still sometimes go on his facebook and twitter. (Facebook is how I found out about the new gf, which everyone commented on congratulating him :/) Should I block these websites and just force myself to rid my brain of everything that involves him? Please, any advice would help. It's like a slap in the face knowing that he moved on fast, so this just adds more hurt to my heart. Thanks. (link)
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You need to stop checking up on his facebook and twitter, Peaking in to see what he is up too is prolonging your pain and in the end it hurts you and makes it harder for you to move on. I'm going to say this bluntly...He had a backup girl.
However, Keep in mind that if his facebook page is not private and is visible for everyone to view then he could possibly get the idea that you are checking in and put up that he was in a relationship just to tick you off...If he really is in a relationship then clearly this guy had feelings for someone else
Sometimes moving on is excepting that you will not only know the reasons why, As that is part of the moving on process. You need to learn to except that he wasn't the one for you and focus on moving on. If he treated you like crap then yes, You don't deserve him. Nobody deserves to be with someone when the treat them like shit. The first process of moving on is stop looking at his page, If you are friends with him REMOVE him if it helps you get over him faster BLOCK him. I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex and it took him 3 months before he had a new girlfriend, Devastating and hurtful I know..I been there. You need to use all the hurt and anger he ever caused you by moving on, There are guys out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. As much as you are not convinced at this time, If he treated you like crap then this girl certainly isn't going to stick around long.
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ive been going out with my boyfriend for 1 year and a half but lately ive been liking this guy friend and i think im slowly liking him more and i really dont know what i should do and feel about this, im happy with my boyfriend but we just argue a lot and there is a lot of problems i have to deal with but with the new guy i feel happy when im with him and he makes me smile.The other guy told me he likes me and he'll wait for me and now its really complicated. I dont wanna leave my boyfriend beause he has been putting up with me and taking care of me, so it would be really messed up. Maybe i just want to be close friends with the guy friend, and i just wanna cuddle with him as a friend. What should i do? (link)
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Stop playing mind games
If your "Cuddle" with your guy friend you are only asking for affection which can lead to one thing to another. If you like this guy more than your boyfriend then you owe it too your boyfriend to tell him the truth and move on. You pretty much said what you want in your question.
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20/f, dating a 20/m.
My bf and I have been together for almost three months, and we're getting ready to start having intercourse. Niether of us are virgins, and we've done basically everything else with each other except have sex. In the past month I've begun birth control and he and I have both gotten tested for STDs, and we're planning on using condoms. So safe sex is a sure thing.
But I also believe that having a dialogue about sex before starting it is crucial, involving discussing our sexual history. I've told him about my sexual past, including funny embarassing stories and things that I do and don't like in bed. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable with hearing it and it really got us to a new level of trust. I invited him to share his experiences with me, but all he said he didn't like talking about it.
I'm really curious about his past, but I don't want to pressure him into telling me about anything that makes him uncomfortable. All I know is that he's had "Maybe just the one" previous partner, but I don't know anything else. Should I just get used to not knowing? I really don't want to pry, but if I'm going to be sleeping with him, does that make it at least a little of my business? Or no? I'm confused and I just want to know if I should drop the whole subject, and get used to being curious.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Communication is a huge thing in any relationship, Sexual talk is even bigger because we spill out our dos and don't dislikes and likes etc. If your boyfriend can't be mature enough to discuss his past with you then he isn't mature enough to be having sex with simple as that. Discussing sex with your partner is important, We learn where they come from who they been with and it brings a whole new level of trust. I certainly would not want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to tell me their past. Sure, It is not everyone's favorite topic but sometimes we need to except the fact that not everything is a piece of pie to discuss with our partners. If he won't talk to you, Move on
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My friend was physically abused by her boyfriend when she was about 15. He hit her a lot and put her in hospital. THey are definately not going out now.
My friend (lets call her Ana) is still haunted by the abuse. She says that when she closes her eyes she sees him coming at her. She has been to a psychiatrist, it helped a little, but she is still scarred by it. One day Ana came up to me and she was very upset and about to cry. Ana told me that she was upset because she had an emotional talk to one of my other friends (lets call him Michael) about it. Michael wasnt a very good help, although he thought he was doing the right thing, he told her that the best thing to do was to try and get over it and just "put on a brave face". This really upset Ana and she got mad at Michael, because she doesnt want to pretend its all ok when it isnt. Michael was abused as a kid so he thought he knew what to say and he thought he was doing the right thing.
The main point of this question is, what should I say to Ana when she occasionally gets upset about her past? She has already been to a shrink and gets help, so i dont need to give her advice like that. Usually I just give her a long hug and try to comfort her, I tell her "You are safe now" but i dont know what else to say. Is this the right thing to say?
What should I say to Ana when she gets upset about her past? (link)
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If she is still in any contact with her boyfriend then she needs to DUMP HIM. You never stated whether she was still with him or not. If she is, Then it will continue to haunt her until she moves on. I myself have come from a 5 year relationship that was abusive.
1. She needs to cut all ties with this guy and move on
2. Stop talking about him the more she talks about him the more she is still going to replay bad memories and the harder it will be for her in the long run. Talking about bad memories is what her therapist is for.
3. As hard as it is apart of moving on is excepting what already happened, Not all guys are assholes and it will take her to have a healthy relationship to begin to see that
Sit down and talk to her, If she cries then she cries at least she is letting it all out. You need to tell her that she has to be strong and move forward, It's over now. As everyone heals at their own pace. We all know it is not okay for what happened to her but at the same time she needs to put it behind her and focus on now.
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I am an 18 year old female, very mature for my age, and I know what I want out of life. I went on exchange to Brasil last year for 11 months and basically was on my own, I have seen a whole other side of life that most people never get to see. I always used to think, "I am young, I have time to mess up, to be with the wrong people." Until I met this guy. He is an exchange student currently here in the US on exchange. We texted for awhile before we finally met, and the moment I saw him I knew he was the one. (And I was always the time to not believe in love at first sight and I never thought I had met the one) We instantly hit it off and ever since then we are very happy together. He lives an hour away from me, But we see each other every weekend. It has only been 20 days since we officially met, but we both feel like we are perfect for each other. The plan is for me to go to Brasil for 6 months until he is finished with school and then he will come here and we will be together. What is your advice? Should I take the risk? (link)
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Slow down, Not everything ends up being what it seems to be be.
Love itself is a risk everyone takes, We take the risk of it not working out, We take the risk of getting hurt, cheating on and so on. However, The fortunate ones end up happily ever after (most of the time) Don't jump to conclusions that he is forever after, Take it one step at a time. At 20 days, You are still getting to know him. Everyone believes differently but I personally do not believe in love at first sight for many reasons, One being people fall out of love and many things happen or can happen along the course of a relationship. One thing you should always keep in mind is NEVER sacrifice yourself for a man. If you two want to date, Fine. However, Don't take a huge risk for someone you just met a month ago, You don't know everything about this person. I'm not saying don't go for it, I'm saying slow it down and don't rush things. You are young, Take it a day at a time because if he really is the one then you'd have all the time in the world.
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I'm 15/f
So this guy barely turned 18. He's a senior, I'm a sophomore. I'll turn 16 in a couple months. But is that a big age difference. About 2 1/2 years?
And dating isn't against the law even if he's 18? Not doing anything sexual. Thanks! (link)
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Actually the right answer would be, As long as you don't do ANYTHING sexual you are fine.
At 18, He is now legally an adult and if he were to have sexual relations with you he could be charged for statutory rape of a minor under the age of 18. It's risky, This is why I advise people to date people around their own age.
However, As long as you too keep it minimal contact with one another (no sexual activity) than it should be okay.
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17/f. There is this boy I know who is friends with my younger brother whoim extremely attracted too. Like I don't like him per se, but whenever I'm around him I have to restrain myself to not flirt. And it's very hard not too. I know he likes me. Which makes things harder. Also, I'm seeing him Friday and I'll be seeing him a lot this month. After that, I probably won't really see him much. So I kind of have to make up my mind, and decide if it's worth it. I think it might just be some weird chemical reaction, but I've never felt the way i feel when I'm around him. I would like him.. It's just the stupid agE difference! Help me. I can't even ask my friends because I'm embarrassed. (link)
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Exactly how old is he?
If you are 17 and he is 16 then there is no big deal there, However it would be WRONG if you were 17 and he was just a 14 year old boy... At 17 you only have months ahead of you until you hit the age of 18, Once you are 18 you are legally an adult. My advise FORGET about him because once you turn 18 if you were to have a sexual relationship with him it'd be under law statutory rape. Get over him and move on, Little boys are for little girls not someone who is hitting adult hood
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lately whenever i'm around guys, no matter how old, i'll try to look better; letting my cleavage show a lot more, more sway in my step, smiling, flirting, etc. today we had a substitute and i did the same with him. i have a boyfriend and i'm very happy with him, but why am i trying to get basically ever male i come in contact with to lust over me? i'm really not that self-absorbed. (link)
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Trying to get attention from other guys is not uncommon, However be careful of how much you let yourself out there because you don't want to give off the wrong impression. If you have a boyfriend then your focus should be on him and him only not on other people. You shouldn't care what other people think, If your boyfriend isn't giving you enough attention in a more flattering way then you need to discuss that with him not show yourself to other men because this is where men either think you are "loose" (What I mean by that is that you get around and show too much of your skin) or they just want one thing from you in the long run and it benefits nobody but themselves. Give yourself some respect
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16, female.
okaay, so at the beginning of the softball season (like march 18th or so) i fractured my ankle, crutches for 2 in a half weeks.
It was fine after that and i played the rest of the season.
i went to the doctor 2 weeks ago for a check up and everything was fine with it, but Recently the same ankle has began swelling and i can't put very much pressure on it,
does anyone have any ideas what's wrong with it?
Thanks in advance (: (link)
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Fractures take time to heal, It could be that playing the rest of the season was pushing it. It might of not have been fully healed and playing the reason of the season agitated it.
Put some ice on it if it doesn't go down then see the doctor
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13/f
I met this guy during summer and used to text him 24/7..and then my friends stole his # off my phone and started texting him..and ever since then hes been texting me less and less..and now when i text him he wont reply...i see him a few times a month and he stares at me and i stare at him..but i dont say hi to him because he doesnt say hi to me..im a little confused on whats happening....any ideas?? (link)
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He wasn't worth your time, It could be a few things...
He could of had a girlfriend
He could of lost interest
Maybe he needs his space
Ask him
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My boyfriend of 3 years and I have been having some problems before but it has gone way too far. I don't know what to do anymore because I love him but I found out that our whole relationship has been based on a lie. I was suspicious of him one day and checked him one email and found pictures of girls in their bra and panties and bathing suits that he had been talking to. He had a wouldyouhitthis.com account when we first started dating and promised to close it. All this time I thought it was closed and I tried to get over the whole email thing. But today I just found that he has had his account open since at least July 24,2008 and has been flirting, looking at, and talking to these girls on the sex site. I don't know what to do anymore. He lied to me this whole time and told me his account was closed except he randomly opened it before christmas but then closed it. He lied, he didn't open it around christmas, he had it open since at least July 24,2008. Two days before my birthday... what a great present and I didn't even know it. He has been talking to girls still too. He said he was done after that sex site thing but then started talking to a 14 year old girl. He's 25 years old. Am I wrong for thinking that's disgusting and wrong? He was calling her hot and asking her if she would date him regardless of his age and asked her what panties she was wearing. What should I do? Nothing will change will it? Should I just move on? (link)
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If your boyfriend had been unfaithful for 2 1/2 years then he isn't going to shape up now or 2 months from now not even a year from now... He isn't even going to acknowledge your conversations, Fights as he seemly doesn't acknowledge your existence.
Your boyfriend is going to do whatever he pleases so, As I speak you are too good for him. Are you over reacting? NO. You need to dump him, It is disrespectful and most of all it can fall right in the category of cheating. It is unfortunate that your boyfriend played your feelings for so long, but now that you've spotted an account on a website with a bunch of sluts, You have your red flag waving in front of you. At 25 years old, Talking to a 14 year old girl is very disgusting and very very wrong of him. This is highly immature of your boyfriend and if he were having a inappropriate conversation with a 14 year old girl then as I hate to use this word but that would be a pedophile. You need to move on, You are way too good for this piece of crap and you have a life ahead of you.
EDIT: I know it's hard, I'm sorry you have to go through this but if there is no trust in a relationship then the relationship itself is doomed and after 3 years of treating you like this he doesn't deserve you. There is always someone out there for everyone and as my personal opinion (I'd rather be single then date this asshole) You deserve a man who is going to love you for you and respect you in every way.
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So, my boyfriend and I have been dating almost a month, but we've been together for about three and a half. We've never had actual sex, but we are close. We hang out a lot, and we have a lot of alone time. I do a lot of sexual things for him, and he enjoys it. But i'm often let down, cuz when I think he's going to do something sexual for me, he doesn't. He almost never does, and I feel like i'm in a one sided sexual relationship. Not only that, but it makes me feel as tho he's not really attracted to me. At first he was really into it, but recently he never seems to want to do anything for me. I know I need to talk to him, but how do I start a conversation like that? What kind of things do I say to him? I just need help. Please? (link)
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This is why I advice people to hold off on sexual activity in a relationship.
If he is not interested in doing sexual favors for you then STOP doing it for him. It is not a must to pleasure your boyfriend for his own benefit. If your boyfriend won't put any effort into working things out and communicating with you and showing that he cares then he isn't worth your time of day. Someone who cares for someone listens, trust, communicates and most of all respects. Not to scrape on your pride here but many guys will say and do whatever it takes to keep some girls around (If you know what I mean) This is where you need to stand your ground, Either he respects you for who you are or you end the relationship. I would back off on pleasuring him for awhile, Talk to him, Study him by his actions and words and if your instinct tells you to move on then let it be so.
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I babysit two boys ages 5 and 6. I babysit them 3 times a week sometimes more. I also run out of stuff to do with them, we play outside, color, do puzzles and board games but after doing this for months its boring. So do you have any ideas on what to do with them?? (link)
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Park, Beach, Take them on a picnic, Finger painting, Kids love to go for walks and play outside. You could try to do some outdoor activities with them. Jump rope, Hop scotch, hide n seek etc.
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15/f
well i can't just go out and buy a vibrator, so i use a back massager. i have underwear on when i'm doing it and even shorts most the time. but could i get an infection from using that as a vibrator? (link)
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As long as you have clothes on your fine, Just don't shove anything up there that doesn't belong up there.
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my best friend is going after my ex. i'm sure its ok but i really dont enjoy it. i still like him. and its hurting my feelings. but....... i really dont no how to tell her that. (link)
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Like I've said many times before....
True friends don't betray their friends.
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do girls care or think its gross or w/e if a guy mastrobates? (link)
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No, Everyone does it. It's normal
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