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Break up..hard to handle.
I broke up with my long distance ex-boyfriend 3 weeks ago. I've decided no contact with him is best for me to get over him, so we haven't spoken in 2 weeks so far.
The 1st week was a little hard, 2nd week easier, and this 3rd week's been going good. Until today.
I found out today he is now in a new relationship. It's been 3 weeks!! Well, 2 since we talked.
I was doing soo well, not crying over him/thinking about him as much..and then this shocker happens. It's like I'm right back at square one. But I left him because he treated me like crap, and I KNOW I deserve better. But we dated for 10 months, and knew each other for 1 year. And he's with another girl in 3 weeks?! He told me his ex-girl before me took him 2 years to get over!!!
I just need advice. I REALLY WANT to get over him, I know he's not the person for me, but obviously I still care for him. I know it takes time. I think not talking to him helps, the only thing is I still sometimes go on his facebook and twitter. (Facebook is how I found out about the new gf, which everyone commented on congratulating him :/) Should I block these websites and just force myself to rid my brain of everything that involves him? Please, any advice would help. It's like a slap in the face knowing that he moved on fast, so this just adds more hurt to my heart. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Stop contact.
First off, I honestly couldn't tell you why he's moved on so quickly. It's possible that he's not over you and is so lonely that he's rebounding hard on anyone who will fill your spot. It's possible he's just looking for easy sex and putting on a brave face. It's possible that he's a manipulative asshole who used you for everything you could get, walked away without giving a shit, and has moved on to his next victim.
I don't know. Honestly, I doubt you do either.
So stop thinking about it.
There is nothing for you to be gained by keeping yourself in touch. Whatever his moving on means to him, he is. If you keep returning yourself here, you won't.
Something you should understand, guys don't process emotions as clearly as women do. Generally speaking, it takes a hell of alot more self examination to understand what's behind why we feel like shit. So most of the time we just fill empty spaces in our lives and try to make things stop hurting.
Being occupied makes us forget. Being happy helps us forget. It's why you never want to be a guys rebound, because as soon as he actually IS over whatever was fucking with him, he's going to re-evaluate the entire relationship. It's not uncommon for guys to date girls they never would during a rebound period just because it's easier to deal with someone who's right in front of you than to go hunting and spend time alone.
Bottom lining it, you probably don't know this guy all that well, people can still be very walled off after 10 months, and you don't know why he's out there. You don't need to either. All you need to know is that it's over, and it's time to move on yourself.
Every time you think about him, see him, are exposed to him, it's going to hurt. Get a book. A PSP or Nintendo DS. An iPod. Something you can carry around to entertain yourself when you start thinking of him. Good books are great breakup helpers, it lets you pretend you're not living your life for a while. Work to forget. Stop yourself from visiting websites. Block him, delete his numbers, do whatever you have to.
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I know how you feel. my ex-boyfriend Justin broke up with me (he said long-distance was too hard) and exactly a day later he had a new girlfriend. i was so sad and i felt the same way you do. but i stopped talking to him... we dated for four months and i loved him, so it was hard at first. actually it was hard until i found this other guy i kinda like. =O
So im not sure what you should do, but this is what i did.
I didnt try to hide it. i cried myself out at night a few times but after that i didnt really think about him much unless i wanted to; my friends were more than enough to occupy my mind. they are insane xD
And i talked to the other guy as kind of a relief. he's really sweet and since he's not long distance he can hug me and i'll feel so much better.
So i guess just dont grind on it, itll make you feel worse. dont think about him too much, even though you probably did love him a lot. if you need to, cry it out. that helps sometimes. but that other girl probably was a rebound. 10 months is a long time. he probably still cares about you but he wanted to get over you just as much as you wanna get over him.
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You need to stop checking up on his facebook and twitter, Peaking in to see what he is up too is prolonging your pain and in the end it hurts you and makes it harder for you to move on. I'm going to say this bluntly...He had a backup girl.
However, Keep in mind that if his facebook page is not private and is visible for everyone to view then he could possibly get the idea that you are checking in and put up that he was in a relationship just to tick you off...If he really is in a relationship then clearly this guy had feelings for someone else
Sometimes moving on is excepting that you will not only know the reasons why, As that is part of the moving on process. You need to learn to except that he wasn't the one for you and focus on moving on. If he treated you like crap then yes, You don't deserve him. Nobody deserves to be with someone when the treat them like shit. The first process of moving on is stop looking at his page, If you are friends with him REMOVE him if it helps you get over him faster BLOCK him. I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex and it took him 3 months before he had a new girlfriend, Devastating and hurtful I know..I been there. You need to use all the hurt and anger he ever caused you by moving on, There are guys out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. As much as you are not convinced at this time, If he treated you like crap then this girl certainly isn't going to stick around long.
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First of all, if he's in another relationship so soon, it's very possible this new girl is a rebound. That should be a little comforting, at least.
Second of all, I went through something similar when my ex and I broke up after dating for over a year. Because we have mutual friends, it's very hard to avoid seeing what's happening in his life. But I figured out the best way to handle it. I deleted him from my friends on facebook. In that way, he's out of sight, out of mind. It may be hard, but honestly I'm glad I did that, and I think you might be happier that way as well :) Good luck hon!
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