icey0990's

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ok well im goin out with this guy we've been together for..about 5 months well anyways just recently my mom found out that he use to do weed, got introuble with the cops for jacking cigars, probation..the list goes on. and my HAIR STYLIST! told her this. so..my mom doesn't want us together..which isn't the thing that bugs me..cuz i kinda miss being single..the thing that bugs me is i dont want him to think this is just a stupid excuse and i dont want him to get all bitchy about it with me..we alreadt fought about this and i got pissed cause i stuck up for him and got in trouble with my mom..also now my mom thinks I do drugs and stuff..which i dont. this sucks..my bfs like one of my bestfriends and i dont wanna lose him as a friend and i def. dont wanna lose my moms trust over somthing i didn't do..i dont know i need advice thanks.

If he thinks what your saying is an excuse have HIM talk to your mom. Maybe your guy needs to chill out for a couple days and calm down. He needs to realize you stuck up for him and you suffered the consequence because now your mom thinks U do drugs. I would write him a note maybe. it might sound middle schoolish but writing a note gives you a chance to get all your feelings out without him interrupting you or getting you pissed. As for your mom, tell her to pleease trust you! Even tell her she can bring you to the hospitol for a drug test. Tell her your not into that crap and you need her to trust you.
Hope i helped
melissa

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I Have this friend who is always putting themselves down and somethimes i dont know what to say becuase they arent the most attractive person and i dont want to seem fake about it. Whenever they tell me that there ugly or whatnot...im always like dont put yourself down like that your not ugly. Every time i talk to this person they always tell me how ugly they are! PLEASE HELP ME IN WHAT TO SAY TO THEM!!

Even though your friend may not be the most attractive person, dont put her down by saying "your ugly but still a good friend." Your friend is unstable right now and needs support from her friends. So just tell her not to worry what others think and that shes not ugly. Keep telling her that no matter whhat theres always going to be a prettier girl and theres always going to be a girl who is uglier than her. Its the same with everyone. Tell her to be confident and to learn to like what god gave her. Tell her you dont want to keep hearing her put herself down sand to cheer up!!
Hope i helped
-melissa

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I love having sleep overs they are so much fun but sometimes I wish that I could have them where i live and not feel nervous becuase i live in an apartment. No one has ever said anything bad about living in an apartment but where i live thei rare very few and everyone i know lives in a house well most people do. I get embarresed when people come over becuase i kno they think that im poor and everything and they dont expect it becuase i always buy expensive and really nice stuff pluss clothes because my mom has more money to give me than when we used to live in a house . Should i be ashamed of this?

No way..dont be ashamed of your house. There are a lot of people who are homeLESS. Your friends wwont judge you or make fun of you because you live in an apartment. Theres nothing wrong with an apartment..(i live in a small house) and by living in an aprtment you save a lot of money so hey more money for the good stuff! Nothin wrong in that :)

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im 15 and well honstly ive only made out with 3 guys, and thats all ive ever sexually done... ive never "masterbated" whatever that means or anything like that but my bf keeps trying to finger me and stuff! if i let him do it..is it gonna hurt? can my "cherry" pop? is it gonna feel really bad? and if i let him do it will i be labled a slut? (me and my bf have been together 10-11 months now) anything?

You sound skeptical. Do you really want to do this? Because if you dont, dont do it. Well you cherry wont pop if hes gentle. It depends if it will hurt or not. If your bf does it gently..it wont hurt as much if he were rough. Before you do it tell him to be gentle or however you want it. Try to keep it quiet and you wont be called a slut..but even if it gets out you shouldnt be labled as one beause you and your bf have been going out for 10 months! good for you!

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ok i love my boyfriend and everything but whenever well be on the phone and hell have to eat or something,..hell say ill call you back in like 20 minutes...and hell be like i love you so much ill talk to you in 20mins babe i love you...but then hell acll me back in like TWO HOURS!! i talked to hmi about it earlier tonite and hes like well stuff comes up i either have to leave w/ my parents or have to do chores or something and then hes doing it again right now!!....hes not getting the hint!!! what can i do??

Im going to be honest with you. This sounds like a very similar situation my friend went through with her friend. OUr friend who loved to be on the pgone for aa veerrry long time would call my other friend, and she would always make excuses why she had to go. My friend is this girls friend..but she doesnt like talking on the phone like that. Maybe your bf doesnt want to talk on the pgone so much like that..so go straight out and ask "hey maybe we should talk less on the phone.." Its not that your bf doesnt like you..i just think maybe he doesnt want to be on the phone for so long. I hope i helped
-melissa

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My mom was an alcoholic, everyday she would drink. DUring christmas even more, just because she hated using all of her money and was afraid we'd be moneyless after christmas. On 12/23 I came home from school, all happy because it was the last day and now I have a 2 week vacation, and I came home to my mom being drunker then hell! I was sick of it and I went upstairs because I didn't want to talk to her. About 2 hours later my dad got home and yelled me from upstairs ( I was sleeping ) .. he said that we had to go to the hospital because my mother had passed out.. she had overdosed on anti-depression pills and was drinking ALOT of alcohol at the same time. when we got to the hospital we waited about 30 minutes and they came out and told me my mom was dead. I can't stop thinking that this is all my fault, like if I would've stayed downstairs maybe I would've stopped her from OD. I've been to a psychiatrist about this, but nothing seems to be working. What should I do?? Thanks for any help in advance! (sorry its so long)

None of this was your fault..im so sorry what happened but you couldnt do anythign to prevent it! I like to think that everything happens for a reason..so this was meant to be. Eeven if you were down there and she didnt do it this time..i think it would happen eventually. Your mom did this purposely..its not like it was an accident. Please dont blame yourself..theres nothing you could've done..it was your mothers problem
-melissa

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ok so there is this guy i have been talking to for about 4 weeks...i really like him nd he really likes me *he told me* he always tells me how beautiful i am nd how im a cutie.. by the way we go to diff. skools nd he is a senior(05) nd im a sophmore!! wel ne way he tells me he likes me but he never asked me out nd to top that i never had sex nd he had sex 3 times..nd i can tell he is upset at the fact i play HARD TO GET.. nd it sucks because i kinda want a boyfriend for V-day! but everytime i ask him to hang out he will be like OK I CALL YA BACK nd he never calls me back ..his fone is off its like he is ditching me ..nd it suck!nd he flirts with all of his gurlfriends..like he has a nickname for one nd its BIGTITS..i mean it kinda sucks because im right by him nd he is all over these gurls!! i know its long im very sorry but please tell me ..is he worth the wait..should i stilll be seein him


***Nicole

No this guy is definately not worth the wait. He sounds immature, plus you go to different schools which sucks. I think all he wants is sex...just because you wont have sex with him doesnt mean your playing hard to get..and any guy who gets mad at a girl for not having sex..is only in it for the sex. So i would really move on and find a sweeter guy..hes not worth your time and you desserve a lot more
-melissa

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i like this boy and everything and i dont know how to tell him and my friend says he likes me to how should i tell him?

If my friend told me a guy liked me, it would boost my confidence..so it should boost yours too. When you get talking with this guy sometime...maybe bring up the subject of becoming more than friends. Tell him you think hes really sweet and you like him more. Thats the gutsy option. Another option is to have your friend to talk to this boy and tell him you definately like him and have your friend hook you guys up. You could also make plans with your friends and this boy..have it planned that your friend "gets sick and cant make it". Then it will be just the two of you..you can hang out one on one. Talking online is a lot easier than in person, so if you two have sns..tell him straight out online. Hope i helped! :)
-melissa

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My friend and I experimented with each other. Were both 13 and are both girls also. We kissed, french kissed, nibbled and felt on each other, but nothing "below the belt." I would just like to know does that mean were lovers if we don't have boyfriends? We never had sex before and we experimented, but not "below the belt." Does that mean were not virgins anymore? Help!!

It doesnt necassarily mean your lovers...but you have a couple things to think about. did you feel a connection or anything with her? If so you might be bisexual. It could just be that you experiemnted and you'll never do it again...but let me tell you that not every girl "experiments" with another girl. You definatrly didnt lose your virginity. Losing your virginity is when you have vaginal intercourse with a guy. Even if a girl fingers you, your still a virgin.
-melissa

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my friend has adrinking problem and maybe even a drug problem! do you think there might be a reason he is turning to drugs and alcohol? becuz he does get teased by many for the way he acts! and if so is there any way i can comfort him or help him out?!

signed,
Friends 'til the end

yeah that could be the reason. How long has it been? If its just started recently..he might stop. maybe he just wanted to let it out..(although its not the best way to) and maybe hes done now. You could talk to him and tell him drinking and drugs arent worth it..and those dumb kids who tease him shouldnt drive him to that. tell him hes too good for that stuff..and hes has a bright future ahead. Hang out with him sometime..show him that stuff like hanging out ..going to the movies...is better than sitting around driking and smoking

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my crush knows i like him and stuff but he always is behind in his studies and stuff! lately he's been running to me for help! is this a good thing and if so how? and if not how?

signed,
Lost-n-Love

Of course its good! Why is it good? because the guy you like is coming to you for help..which means conversation between you guys. It can lead to you guys getting closer...also its good because hes coming to you. He obviously sees you as a smart person..he also might like you also.
See where it goes..good luck!
-melissa

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Okay maybe i'm just over-reacting, but, me and my boyfriend have just recently become sexually active, and we had sex the first time without a condom, i know i know bad decisio, but it wasn't hardcore sex.. it was a put it in take it out kind of thing. Like an experiment. But non-the-less, it wasn't protected. But we've had sex about 3 or 4 times since then, in the last 3 months. I had my period after the first time we had sex, and I know for a fact none of the other condoms have broke. But, for some reason, I haven't had my period in over a month, going on two! I've taken two pregnancy tests and they both said i wasn't pregnant, but i just cant' shake this feeling that I am!! Why haven't I had my period!? I know this is long, but I really need advice. Please help!

stress plays a big part in it. Try and stay calm and trust your pregnency test. Maybe after you relax your period will come. If you can, maybe go to a gyno but the gyno will probably tell you the same thing JSIMT said. They say its normal after you lose your virginty to become irregular.
Take another one in a couple weeks just monitor it..do you feel morning sickness? Morning sickness is common in your beginning pregnency.
I think you`ll be ok
-melissa

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I'm gonna get straight to the point.My dad hates me he said it himself he told me last yr. in New Years Day that he was gonna make it hell for me and he kept his promise now he's doing the same thing this year.Im 14/f and I'm really tired of it.And my sister doesn't make it any better because she looks through my things constantly I can't hide anything cause she finds it and uses it against me.She is 2 years younger and makes life living hell for me.My older brother is going to the Army soon and he barly is never there and me and him don't get along.Then there is my mom she doesnt understand all she can say is calm down be patient and soon this will end.PLZ HELP what can I do.Thank you on advance.

I think you should get out of there. Any dad who says "im going to make it hell for you" obviously has some problems and issues to work out. Its not fair to you to keep living there. Tell your mom NO it wont end..and i want out. Try living with a friend,relative, etc.
-melissa

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Ive been with my boyfriend for along time and he wants to have sex and i dont no i love him soo much and he loves me i no he does and everytime we r together its soo perfect and he said hes not guna force me but he thinks this will lock r relationship and then we ll be together forever and ii rele think hes telin the truth...should i do it?
Sexually confused..

No, sadly there is no code that says "if you have sex, then we'll be together forever" If that were so, there would never be any divorces or break ups. You can love someone and still wait to have sex. Sex doesnt necassarily secure relationships..ive read about people who have had sex and their relationship slowly went downhill. I really dont think your ready because you sound so unsure. Dont do it until your ready..until your so ready that you wont have to ask anyone about their opinion.
-melissa

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My husband and I of 1.3 years of marriage got into a huge fight yesterday and he hit me several times, twice in the head. He kicked my butt real hard, threw something at my leg or my arm-can't remember which over something that was really stupid. I did say somethings I know I shouldn't have like I didn't love him, hated him and wanted a divorce. But does my saying those things warrant him hitting me? And that wasn't the first time. He normally hits me real hard on the legs when he gets real mad or he feels I've pushed his buttons.
Last night, he went to a motel with his son to get away and he would not talk to me at all. I didn't even know if we were going to be together. I was hurt and upset about the whole situation and did something real stupid. I filled out one of those eharmony personality profile things. I didn't chat with anyone or nothing like that. I just did it, don't know why. I was depressed and I did pop a lot of pills as I have tonight to try and sleep. None of it his an excuse. He found the eharmony thing today when he came back and now he won't have anything to do with me. I love him and want to work it out and I know I have to change also, not just him. All the times he's accused me of doing things I never ever did, I guess I just filled out that eharmony thing out of spite. He has called me a slut and a whore and that I'm so big now vaginally wise that no man could do me any good. I have apologized for filling out that personality profile. It was dumb of me. How can I save this marriage and convince him that I don't want anyone else, PERIOD. I love him and want to work this out more than anything in this world. Help me please.

Do you really want to go back to him? He hit you..he not only hit you but he beat you up pretty bad. One hit is bad enough..but your husband didnt let up! You said this wasnt the first time..how often does he hit you? Thats horrible..unless hes willing to seriously go to marriage couseling and/or anger management or some other kind of therapy, divorce him. Theres never an excuse for him to hit you. I think when a man hits a woman thats the lowest thing he can do. Just because you said you want a divorce does NOT warrant him to hit you. The only time he should use some physical force against you is if you attack him first. You've only been married for 1.3 years..your marriage is still new and already hes been hitting you? You dont desserve this. I really think you should divorce him and call the police next time he hits you. However I see you really want to save this marriage so if you decide to try and save it ...he needs to go to therapy/anger management..and the two of you need to go to marriage counseling. If he refuses to do it...you need to divorce him. If hes not willing to try and fix it..you wont get anywhere and nothing will get better. Its something to think about
-melissa

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when me and my bf fool around, it makes me feel so good...the slightest thing he does to me makes me orgasm..this turns him on...ALOT..and im beginning to think that hes using this to his agvantage..i dont really mind cause he deserves it too...im wondering whether or not to take it one step farther and have sex with him... everything else he does to me is wonderful, so why wouldnt sex be??? does anyone know if this is a good idea??

Its a good idea if your ready. Its a bad idea if your not. So many people think they can ask others "should i have sex" or.."what are signs that your ready" the truth is though, its how you feel. Think to yourself how much you value your virginity..like i want to wait..but thats me..if it doesnt matter to you..and your ready..then go ahead. ONly you can answer if your ready or not. Sex is always a good idea ONLY if your ready. Dont throw away your virginity. Its something that you need to think about for awhile Hope i helped

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Ok heres the deal. I start off with a good friend whos real serious with school but still fun to be around. Then I start hangin with these other girls that are smart but fun too but more fun than the other girl. They dont hate eachother but they dont have much in common and they do things differently so I cant be their friend (to the fullest) at the same time. Do I go with my fun friends or my serious friend?

I think you could hang out with both..the more friends the better right? I think i know what you mean when you say "so I cant be their friend (to the fullest) at the same time." I would try to hang out with both groups often..and who knows maybe you can work it out. like maybe friday you can hang with one group..and saturday hang with the other. If you cant..then become closer to one but still hang out with the other
-melissa

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ok so there is this guy.. he is a senior and he knows i like him... and i think he has been dropping little hints that he likes me too, like one day he had sugar all over his mouth and he asked me to wipe it off for him... and it was so sweet.. he is always so flirty around me but idk... im not the most attracted girl and this guy is pretty popular... what do i do?

This guy sounds really nice and sweet. Keep flirting..its nice that he doesnt care that you arent the prettiest. Keep flirting and see where it goes! :)
-melissa

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me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 9 months now and we havent had sex... it'll be 9 months on Jan.9th, and i was over his house yesterday when his parents werent home and he tryed to have sex with me, which he does all the time, and he got pretty far until i said no because his little sister was home and i didnt want her 2 walk in on us... but anyways getting to my point, should i have sex with him? plz help me im so confused, and i really dont no what i want to do either... oh just so you know im not a virgin either... and neither is he.
Love always,
*Court~*

If your asking people "should I do it" maybe you arent ready just yet. Whenever you feel that the time is right..and your so sure that you dont have to or want to ask anyone elses opinion, then your ready. Do it when your comfortable and not uptight..and if your not ready dont let your bf keep trying to have sex with you until your ready
-melissa

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i have a friend who has liked this guy for 4 months...she obsesses over him...he is friends with my group of friends and recently i have started talking to him...he is really nice and really hott...i dont want to admit it, but i like him...he told all his friends that he thinks im hot and that he wants to go out with me...i feel bad because this is making my friend pretty mad...i want to go out with him really bad, but i dont want my friend to end up getting hurt... what should i do...

I think if you went out with him your friend wouldnt take it so well. So for now i would talk with him and hang out with him.Get to know him and get closer...maybe after awhile your friend will calm down over him and eventually..after awhile the two of you could get together. Dont do anything to ruin your frienship though. Meanwhile, I dont see the problem in hanging out with this guy :)
-melissa

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