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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
I go to a club and there is this boy that goes there. We got on normally, didnt speak a tonne to eachother but talked. He then got my msn and we started talking more, just normally. After three months of being friends he told me he liked me, but didnt bother doing anything about it. I didnt like him. I'm not ready for a relationship. This was about october. Then in january he asked me out. I told him id think about knowing that i would say no because i didnt like him. But then i began to think we'd be good together even though i didnt like him and it confused me. I came to conclusion that i didnt like him. I turned him down. It all turned out awkard and we got angry with eachother. Now we are friends and are acting like normal but i dont like it and its annoying because after everything we felt, or said is still there and its being pushed to one side. it ended before it started. Where do we take it from here - are we friends or not? Should I still talk to him?He compliments me a lot too
Technically you could still be friends with him, however, if he still has feelings for you and is still trying to win you over, it may be a good idea to distance yourself from him.
You could talk to him about this if you wished to. Say something like, "Would you be okay being just friends with me if I would never go out with you?" Or something like that, and view his comfort level. If you're fine hanging out with this guy and he doesn't make you feel awkward, it becomes his decision, ultimately, whether you guys can hang out or not. If he can't stop hitting on you and it bugs you, distance yourself. If you guys still get along fine and non-awkwardly, it might be flattering to be friends with someone who semi-worships you.
That said, bringing up the pushed aside feelings and going from there probably isn't a bad idea.
So I really like this guy, I have for about 4 months or so. He doesn't like me , because well he has a girlfriend, and it just so happens to be that his girlfriend is one of my friends!
I don't know what to do I like him so much!
What should I do?
Right now, confessing probably wouldn't be the most useful thing. In the small chance that he and your friend brake up because of it, you'll be responsible, not so appreciated by your friend, and have a drama filled relationship with an on-the-rebound boyfriend to deal with. Otherwise, once they're still together, it will just cause awkwardness on everyone's part.
Once they have safely broken up and everyone is over the drama that may or may not cause, then you can contemplate flirting with him/ asking him out/ telling him how you feel.
For now, hard as this sounds, try to distract yourself. Answer some questions on this site, read a book, immerse yourself in homework, whatever, and try to get over him.
15/f
ok so i can be really outgoing but only when i'm around certain people. mostly when i'm with my best friend or a group of people or sister. but when i'm with my boyfriend i get so quiet/shy and i can never think of anything to talk about. i think he's kinda shy around me too because he doesn't really say much either but it makes me feeeel sooo awkward and stupid. i don't really want to tell him that but if it come to it i will. how can i open up more to him and think of what to talk about?
i think the reason is we've been dating 4 months almost and i dated him the day after i met him. i know that was dumb and i normally NEVER do that, like he's my first real boyfriend and he's awesome. any advice on that would be great!
also is it fake to act different around other people? i'm just really self concious around some people and quiet so my real personality doesn't show. i'm only loud and outgoing to people i've known for a long time,,is that like fake? i don't mean to be.
again thanks for any advice! :D
It's pretty normal to act different around different people. When you think about it, it's almost necessary. You can't act the way you would around a teacher, or boss, as you would your best friend. It's pretty common for you to act shyer around someone you like. It just means that you want to impress him, that you're naturally more embarrassed around him because that's what liking him does to you.
My advice would be to not worry so much about what to say to him, or how smart your words sound. Sometimes it is important to babble, especially when the other person is shy, so that they can at least react to things you are saying if they are unable to come up with their own topics. Don't be afraid to stay on simple topics, such as: "how was your math test" or "What are you doing for the holidays?". Try to ask more open-ended questions, and answer with open ended answers. When he says something to you, relate it to your own life to keep the conversation going.
If all else fails, try some group dates, or spend time with your boyfriend and people you are talkative with all at once. This will get you two talking, and, later on you can refer back to things that either involve the group date or weird /funny things that happened to your sister/best friend, now that he knows who you're talking about.
Don't worry. After spending enough time with him, you'll (hopefully) be as comfortable around him as your best friend. Communication in romantic relationships is just like it is in any other type of relationship: it takes time.
theres this guy and hes kinda torn between me and this other girl (idk her, she goes to a diff school) and he wants to spend time with each of us to get to know each girl better n stuff like that. well, i really like him, and dont want to lose hime to this other girl. any advice on how to win him over??
Be relaxed, no matter how tense you are about this situation. Act jokey with him, make jokes, and stay in a general fun-loving, happy mood.
Think of things to talk about in advance: things like funny anecdotes, questions you could ask him, or just general small talk things. You could also try chatting with him semi-regularly online so that you end up knowing more about each other than he knows about the other girl and vice versa.
My bf is crazy about basketball. I wanna get him a jersey. Who is a really good well known basketball player that preps would like? Hah.. I dont know anything about basketball and i dont wanna ask him and ruin the suprise.
It really depends on the team he supports. For example, I'd say Steve Nash, but he plays for the Raptors, and I have no clue what team he supports. Please add more details to your question so we can help you out =]
I don't want this to sound stalkerish or anything, but if you mentioned the city he/you live in more people would be able to answer, since he likely supports that team.
If you're really stuck, you can go to a local sports store and see the kind of sports memorabilia that they have. Likely he supports your local team... and the good news is, the only jerseys that your town/city sells ANYWAY will be from that team, so you can't really go wrong.
I'd suggest a favourite player, but with sports it's not really like that. I mean, sure, you want a famous player, but no one wants a jersey with the famous player from the opposite team that causes your home team to lose!
So yeah. Go to a sports store or sports memorabilia store and look around. You could also always get him something cute like a little bear wearing a basketball jersey, and tie a cute card to it.
Good luck =]
abercrombie and hollister arent that "cool" looking
i mean all of their clothes look excactly the same but i do like there lacy tanks
were can i get a lacy tank top with lace on both bottom and top for cheap ?
and also tell me places were you think have really cute clothes for cheaper and not just cheap T-shirts that say "hollister" across them.
thanks
:D
American Eagle often has clothes that look very similar to Hollister for non-Hollister prices.
Most stores with this kind of style are usually more expensive-ish. For unique clothes at low prices, I recommend thrift, second hand, and vintage shopping. It takes more knowledge of local stores and such, but it's usually worth it because you can experiment with your own style instead of whatever the media force-feeds you to wear.
Personally, out of the brand names, I'd recommend stores like urban behavior and stitches for good cheapish jeans, and stores like bluenotes, stitches, urban planet, and jean machine for cute, inexpensive tops.
what are the nice singles [old singles] from the -then- popular band BLINK 182?
the year ranges from 1998-2002?
Also:
Good Charlotte
Simple Plan
Good Charlotte:
Girls & Boys
Broken Hearts Parade
Simple Plan:
Welcome to My Life
Happy Together
Perfect
Untitled
Blink 182:
All the Small Things
Stay Together For the Kids
Adam's Song
Both Good Charlotte and Blink 182 have Greatest Hits albums, so you can check those out as well =]
Lately ive been getting urges to look at naked girls. Like Vanessa Anne Hudgens, nude. I like a guy, but i wanna know if im a lesbien. I like looking at myself naked, and lesbien porn, and fingering myself. Its just happened like this week. Im 14/f. Thanks so much!
You're not lesbian if you like a guy; being lesbian would make you ONLY attracted to girls. If you like/get crushes on both girls and guys, you would be considered bisexual.
That said, liking lesbian porn or naked pictures of girls doesn't necessarily make you bi. You'd have to actually be able to have feelings for both girls and guys for this to be the case.
Now I'm going to be a bit controversial here and dispute the whole "it's a phase" talk. I'm not saying that this couldn't be a phase, but there are studies that have shown sexuality to be fairly consistent in the long run. Being bisexual or lesbian is just as likely to be a phase as being straight is. One thing to get, though, is that our society is currently pretty paranoid and sensitive about these topics.
I wouldn't rush to any conclusions about appreciating the female figure; our bodies are pretty awesome. Right now you can call yourself bicurious, but I'd wait till you were actually attracted to other girls to put the bisexual "label" on yourself.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now! Woo! I've got him chocolate, cologne, and a hat for previous holidays. (more than one of each hah) I can't take him anywhere or anything, we'll just be at his house. What can I get him?
Baked cookies are always good. As well, I'd make a cute card full of inside jokes, funny anecdotes of you two together, pictures, reasons why you love him, ect =]
You don't have to get him anything really expensive,; for valentine's day it's all about the love and thought behind it.
My boyfriend & i of about 5 months fight non stop every night for like the past month. We have been fighting about his exs & about stupid stuff. Such as hes trying to be friends with them even though i don't want him to talk to girls. I feel like hes going to go with them because there better.and lately he's been acting like he doesn't love me. Like he doesn't show it in the ways he used to. I just don't want this relationship to be over. I need advice how to get over this fighting. adn how i can trust him more.
Thanks soo much please help me!!!
Although I don't think that your boyfriend should get back together with any of his exs, forbidding him to talk to girls period could certainly do a lot to harm a relationship.
Most people have both guy and girl friends. Telling someone that they can only talk to and hang out with certain people (ei, guys) is controlling and not a reasonable way to control jealousy. If you are really worried about your guy getting back together with one of them behind your back, you should talk to him about it, saying something like "I know I'm being irrational, but I get worried when you try to be friends with people you used to have feelings for," instead of "You can't talk to her." It's like when your parents tell you who you can and can't hang out with. It's gonna make you mad at them, right?
No matter what he did or did not do in the past with these girls, he has a right to see them. Of course there's a possibility that he could cheat; there's always that possibility. Just like when your parents try to make you do something, you ultimately choose what to do based on how they treat you (just to use that analogy again).
Be careful not to control too much what he does, and you'll both be happier. If you find you can't trust him, examine why. If you actually have a reason (like solid proof that he's cheated), break up with him. If not, it may take you a while to have complete "trust" in him. That's okay, as long as you still act acceptably, and let him see who he wants to in a non-romantic way. The best way, sometimes, to feel a certain way is to act a certain way.
Don't nag him about things he shouldn't be nagged about, and if you are concerned about anything, approach him in a loving (not accusing) way.
i brush my teeth twice everyday, and i use tic-tacs, or listerine pocket packs...but my breath still wont stay fresh, how do i keep my breath ok so that people dont say "ew did you like not brush your teeth today?" thank you SO much!!:)
Anything you take besides toothpaste that supposedly relieves bad breath is a short-term fix that will almost always make breath worse in the long run.
Tic-tacs contain sugar, which, when dissolved in the mouth, causes millions of germs to flourish which cause bad breath. Listerine pocket packs do not contain table sugar, but they are full of starch. When starch, a complex sugar, dissolves in your mouth, it breaks up into lots of simple sugars which will also cause bad breath.
If you really want to get rid of bad breath, floss and clean your tongue and cheeks when brushing teeth (if you don't do so already). As well, your breath will smell sweater after cutting down on your sugar intake, ironically by eating less breath mints =].
I'm 18 and I have thick black hair right around my nipples. I've plucked them out once before awhile back but of course, they came back. The hair is about 1.5 to 2 inches long and its kind of embarrassing. I was wondering if this is a common thing amongst females and if it is, is it common for the hair to be thick and black? I don't even have black hair on my head, I have brown hair. Also, I have a hair line right down the middle of my breasts and I usually just shave it and of course if I don't, it will grow back and be visible. If anyone has this, how do you deal with it? Thank you.
If not entirely sure if there are products that remove hair around nipples besides tweezers. As for the line of hair between your breasts, waxing or bleaching is probably the best way to deal with it, depending on how thick it is.
If it's thick, waxing is probably the best way to deal with it - I find veet cold wax strips work quite well (you can use hot wax as well if hair is longer/tougher). This way hair will grow back thinner, instead of growing back thicker like it does when you shave.
Can you get pregnant before you have your period? Is it normal to not ahave started when you are fourteen and weigh 95 pounds.
It's possible, but you'd have to have started ovulating before having sex... so if you hadn't had sex, your period would come in a few days. It's very unlikely.
Yes, it's normal to be fourteen and period-less... I got mine sometime when I was fifteen so I wouldn't worry. The one thing that may be causing this is your body weight. I'm not sure how tall you are so I can't judge, but if you are noticeably skinnier than most people you know, I'd get it checked out.
*Edit* : When I said body weight, I meant to say BMI , or how skinny you are.
19/f. This is my first Valentine's Day where I'm not single. My boyfriend (whos 21) and I have only been together for 2 weeks, which isn't much. I'm not a very sexual person but I still want this Valentine's Day to be special in its own way. What should I do for him/get for him? I have no idea... Help is definately appreciated :)
Since you haven't been together for too long, something small and sweet would do well. Anything from chocolate to baked goods works. Also nice is a small card that lets him know how much you appreciate him. Doesn't have to be long or costly; it's the thought that counts.
15f...
I have a boyfriend, and our one month will be on Valentine's day. We're really close, but he keeps being so tight-lipped about Valentine's Day!
I'd really love to know what to get him, since I have this weird feeling he's going to get me something.
I know everyone says chocolate, teddy bears, baked goods. But none of those things suit him. He doesn't like cds, he just buys online, he has no interest in fashion, and only wears, like, one color. He reads things that I don't know much about, like HALO. I'm not really sure what to do, because he knows exactly what I like, and I'm clueless as to what to get him. HELP!
Well, valentine's day is still some time away, so you have time to do investigating. Since none of us here know your boyfriend, it's a little hard for us to guess at what he likes. Good people to ask are probably he best friend(s), or him himself, of course, very discreetly. The one lead you managed to include in your question was that your boyfriend likes to read things that you don't know much about. Try talking to your boyfriend about this "I don't know much about the things you usually read," you could mention. When he elaborates, get him going and see if he'll say anything about something that he wants or does not have (or you could try to subtly bring it up). This way you can't go wrong!
14/f
i bought my boyfriend a huge
valentines day card.. but i dont know
what to write in it?
any ideass other then i love you so much and you mean everything to me? lol
like should i write alot or alittle?
The amount you write doesn't matter as much as the thought behind the card and what you say.
Some good things you can include are: anecdotes that have to do with the two of you; something funny like, say, how ridiculous you both were on your first date; inside jokes; poetry if you can write it; little doodles of you and him together; a list of reasons why you love him/ why he is an amazing person; pictures that have both of you in them; and, or course "I love you and you mean everything to me" is good too =]
14/F
In Sept. '06 I dated this kid Jake [he was thirteen I was twelve] for almost a month. There was nothing wrong with him or anything, but I met this other kid while we were dating, his name was Joey, he was thirteen. On 10/10/06 I broke up with Jake and Joey asked me out the same night and I said yes. He had just got out of an almost year long relationship with this girl named Kasey. So in a way I was the rebound, anyway about a month later he and I broke up.. so he could get back together with her.
Anyway within about two weeks I had another boyfriend, yes my rebound. But we broke up cause I still loved Joey, and thats the reason all my realtionships end when I end them. Joey has had three girlfriends since we broke up. He's single right now and so am I.
I still love him over a year later. I even dated his Best Friend to make him jealous. I don't know if I can ever get over him, when he has a girlfriend I just want to CLAW HER EYES OUT. It disgusts me to think of him and another girl dating. But now that he's single I want to tell him I really like him, and probably always will. I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I don't know what to do, does anyone have any advice?
If it's going to drive you crazy otherwise, of course you should tell him! Of course, if you're worried about rejection, you could try testing the waters first, for example, flirt with/ tease him and see how he responds, put your head on his shoulder while sitting together, ect. Or you could try asking him out in a casual way and then go with the flow. If you want to be more obvious without outright saying anything, asking him to see a movie with you is a pretty good pointer that you like him, same as giving him chocolates and a card for valentines day. This way, you can show your feelings to him without the potential of being outright rejected.
Of course, now that you're both single, you should definitely definitely do something. good luck =]
I'm a female 15 yrs old and hes 16 yrs old.we've been good friends for about a year now.And he basically knows everything about me and visa versa.we text every night.I finally got the guts to tell him how i felt.But he said he just likes me as friends with benefits.But we've never done anything in the past.That was about two weeks ago and were still good friend a kinda got over him.Today he asked me if i wanted to go on a date with him tomorrow.I AM REALLY SURPRISED.He said he would ask my mom if i could go.i first said y.but he just responded saying cause i want to.so i said ok.i wanted to know if i should go and if you think he likes me or just wants to hang out?
Well, of course, if you've truly gotten over him you should casually decline. However, if you still have feelings for him, go on this meeting/date/ whatever it is, and make sure it's not just a way for him to get you back to being "friends with benefits" again.
You'll know more if this is a date or not once you get there. To make sure it's not just another friends with benefits thing, I'd say to hold off on anything physical (if he initiates it) until you know how he feels about you, and if he mature enough to handle anything to do with dating or relationships.
Take it slow, and if he flirts with you flirt back. Good hinters that he wants to date are flirting, going to the movies, and, or course, using the word "date" (you seem to have gotten the impression that it's a date already from your question).
If it all goes well, casually or jokingly being up the idea of you two together, a relationship, or being on a date, and see how he responds.
Me and this guy have been talking for 2 years. We are completely in love with each other. He loves me and i love him. Though heres the catch. and like dont think bad things of me because of this but. We met over the internet and he is suppose to come see me this spring break for the first time which is like a month and 15 days away. and of course we both cant wait because we want to hold each other and all that good stuff. He even told me i had to jump into his arms when we meet because that would make him so happy. But like for the past 4-5 months he hasnt called me at all except 4 times inbetween all that time. I dont really understand why and i ask him and all he says is i dont know and it drives me crazy because i want to hear his voice. All we do is text and talk on msn. Our relationship is fine but i want to know why he doesnt call me. I remember when he use to call me at least once a day. So why does he not call me anymore when he use to call me almost every day? Any ideas why?
Have you asked him why?
Seriously, there are a load of reasons why he may not be calling you as often: long distance charges, he knows you'll get to meet soon-ish anyway, he's nervous about meeting you since you met on the internet, ect.. If he hasn't been messaging you as well, then I might be a bit worried. If you haven't already, tell him what you wrote here, that you miss him, so why hasn't he called?
I won't judge you for meeting him online, but I will say to watch out, because it is true that he could be anyone. My advice would be, when you do meet him for the first time, don't go alone. Seriously. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just bring along, say, a close friend, and they can leave once you know that the guy is the age he says he is, ect.. As well, before you meet him, tell someone else the location of your meeting place, in case anything happens. Never hurts to be too careful =]
Hopefully this will straighten out by the time you see him next.
ok i really really hope my friend doesnt see this . . .
ok by the way ! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THE ADVICED I ASKED BEFORE THIS !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok i have a friend and she is very friendly, crazy, out spoken, LoVes pizza and candy !! like seriously ! and out of no where she'd be all "PIZZA ROLLAS !" or "CANDY !!!" with a very childish voice .
its annoying to me but i can 'bear' it . . . (?
shes is very smart and is easily ticklish and i always hangout with her . . .
this might sound mean but whenever i see her face i just want to SLAP it really badly cuz she annoys me 24/7
sometimes she doesnt know her limits to her immature childish like behaviour .
the number of us girls is 5 and we call our selves the 4 blind Azns + Glessy .. (its + glessy because she isnt blind [doesnt have glasses] !)
anyways~
we have days called 'Confession Days' so we can say what we could when we couldnt about each other. . . and we only do them on special occasions like birthdays or holidays . . today was suppose to be one but we ended up canceling soo we are doing one this coming up monday . . .and i was going to tell my friend about this but she is very fragile and i dont know how to tell her . . .
no matter how much i want to beat her up .
she is still one of my best friends .
but i really want to tell her so that she can at least know her limits to her behaviour and save the annoyingness for the rest of us whom feel this way .
i think my other friend feels the way i do about her .
but she is pretty much straight forward and dont hesitate because she knows that my friends will just laugh it off and propbably feel bad when she gets home . . .
soo waddya think ?
answer this one !
please and thx !^^
V(O.O)V
Are you the one that just asked the question about having a best friend who didn't know how to handle you because you had suddenly started acting immature?
If so, it's extremely ironic that you should also ask this question, because that's probably how your old friend felt about you!
But that's not to say that I'm judging you, dear, it's just that everyone has amounts of strange behavior of different types that we can and cannot tolerate.
As for this friend, it's probably not fair to tell her to "change" necessarily. Think of how you felt when you had to. The best thing may be (perhaps at this next "confession") to suggest that you also hang out with other people... Not to say that you'd be "leaving" the group, but is there any way you can spend less time with this one friend?
People who go through these phases eventually outgrow them, though it takes time (I'd give it a year, a year and a half). It may be that said friend perceives the entire focus of your group is to act crazy, and this is said friend's way of doing so.
The next time your friend does something you are annoyed by, you can either make a joke of being annoyed by it, jokingly call her weird, or learn to deal. Part of learning to deal may be to see her less. It's okay to do this, really it is. I have a bunch of friends that went through phases where they were intensely... well like your friend, so I stopped eating lunch with them. Now, they've both become much more mature, and we're still friends, not in the eat lunch together all the time way, but you know, if I had stuck around with them all of the time then our friendship probably would have suffered as a result.
So yes. Those are your options. But while you are "dealing" with this, you may want to do a little self-check: why are you so self conscious about her being childish in the first place??
*EDIT*
Sorry for the assumption that you wrote that question. You referred to a question you had asked before, and I assumed it was that one because of the similar writing styles...
But anyway.
I'm saying that you trying to change her behavior may not necessarily be the best move. I know you think that it's for the good of society/herself/ect., but in most situations, trying to change someone does more harm than good.
Here's the link to the question I was referring to before: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=529337
now how would you feel being put into her shoes?
If all things considered, you still feel justified to say something, probably the best way to do so would be "Sometimes it annoys me when you _____". Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements.
You can't make someone grow up, but you can change people through example. And, of course, growing up, even through you being more mature to influence her, takes time. If you really want to slap her, spending some time with other people may make her more bearable.