askjenymca
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I can't seem to get a boyfriend. I am fat but im a good friend. Im also trying to lose weight. I have only had two boyfriends in my life, one in second grade, and my last boyfriend lived in Virginia (I live in Missouri) and he didn't know what I looked like. I think im desent looking aside from my weight. I don't have really that many guy friends eaither. I was hoping someone could give me tips on how to get a guy.

~*~Britt~*~
Just be yourself. Don't try to impress every guy, just be their friend and be nice, talk, compliment, and eventually some guy will be like "wow, I really like Britt" and yeah.

Q: Do boys like secret admirers???? my school is doing this this thing where u can give either chocolate or a flower to someone, and i dont know if i should do it.
If you are really shy, then this is a great way to tell a guy you like him. If your keeping yourself as a secret admirer than send the stuff then tell him later. It sounds like a cute way to tell a guy you like him, very sweet, I say go for it!

Q: i am crazy about a boy at school but he dosent like me but we've been out before and i wanted him to give him another chance i just really like him to an obsession that i dont no what to do should i leave him
Yes you should leave him if your becoming obsessed over him then try to get over it because any relationship between you two doesnt sound healthy.

Q: OK, so my dad has cancer, my mom needs 2 hav surgery, my sista is a diebetic, my other sis just had a baby, and we hav alot of other things like that going on in my family. I really need an additude ajustment. When ever some1 else says somethin negitive, i become negitive, and every1 gets mad at me. How do i change this?
I know its hard not to become negative but try not to. I've had a great-grandpa die (old age), grandpa (heart problems) and uncle (paralysis after 4 years of struggle...he was also my god uncle...) and it was all really strong. Soon everything will get better though. I mean, diabete's isnt that bad. My friend has it and she survives every day. A baby is a blessing!! Surgery is possible, and cancer has a chance of surviving. At least your okay! So next time somebody says something negative, just say "Please, don't." Or something like that.

Q: I tend to get paranoid very easily. For example, I will think my boyfriend doesnt like me, or thatI have no friends or that people are always talking about me. Everyone says I'mbeing stupid but I really believe it. Any advice?
I get the same way! Omigosh thats weird...I have no clue what to do. I would say go to the guidance counselor but I know I'd think she'd think I'm crazy or something. I'd probably even be to shy to go talk to her. Hmm...

Q: me and my boyfriend have been together for quite some time ((3 months)) and we have known each other since he was 15! he is 19 now & im 15... my parents think he is 16 and i hate lying to them but i love him and i want to be with him... how bad does this make me??
Doesn't make you bad at all I think. That's only a four year difference. My older sister is 17 and she's going out with a 22 year old. They started going out when she was 16, him 22. He's turning 23 in January. I mean...this is all my opinion. As long as he's not a creep and you've known him since you were what, 10, 11? Just if you feel weird don't tell your parents until your sure they approve of him. My sister went up slowly in age she's like "actually he's 19. actually he's 20. actually he's 21. actually he's 22." like at different times. Maybe this will work for you maybe not.

Q: i have to do this thingy in front of my class.. which is 36 people and i have to memorize it... its a monologue. and im scared. i think imn gunna go out there and like freeze!! what do i do? 13/f
When your in front of the class, look at one of your good friends. Like FOCUS on HER. Don't think of anything funny, believe me. One time I was up in front of the class looking at my one friend thinking of something funny and started laughing. I couldnt stop because every time I started to go again I'd laugh. I failed that oral presentation...but anyway, don't spaz. You know most of these people in your class so it's not like strangers. If looking at a friend makes you laughing, look at the teacher. Just focus on something so you won't see the rest of the class.

Q: I really like this guy, and he just happens to be my best friend. I know everyone says that if you go out with one of your good friends, it will ruin the friendship. Well I don't believe that because I think all good relationships are based on a previous friendship. Well anyways- one of my really close girl friends is the one he likes, and I don't want him to ask her out, but I think he's going to because that's what he told me. I know I'm really good friends with her, but I just find it hard to support her in this situation. It's not that I want him to not ask her out and ask me out, but I would rather him not go out with anyone because I'm afraid he'll act different around me if he's going out with someone because normally we always flirt and stuff. Can anybody tell me how I'm supposed to tell him that and be honest with him without him getting mad at me or thinking I'm wrong to say that?
If it's a close gf and she knows you really like this guy then I don't think she would go out with him. If she doesnt know you should tell her so she doesnt. You should tell the guy that you really like him and you hope somebody you guys could be together.

Q: ok well ever since I first met him in high school I kinda started to like him and well not so long ago maybe 2 weeks ago I told him I liked him in an email and well he didn't talk to me well maybe small things like hello and something but not like before after that but he just looked at me all the time then when I told him to just forget it cause I knew he'd act different well he stopped talking to me and looking at me he like avoids me I'm still deeply in love with him but all I know is he likes hot girls and I'm not hot and iunno he isn't that hot but looks don't count and he just won't even bother saying hi to me or anything. can u plz help I don't know what to do
Say hi to him first. Start the conversating and maybe he'll join in. Maybe he's just a shallow jerk though. In that case, why would you want a shallow jerk?

Q: My friend Jessica made the basket ball team. And lately she has been acting really mean and shes thinks she owns the whole school and it bugs me and she yells at me in the hole and stuff and I have tolder that shes acting mean but all she said was no I'm no but I really dont know what to do
Stop hanging out with her so much. If she asks why say 'you've been mean to me lately.' Maybe then she'll get the point.

Q: I have a friend. We've been bestfriends for 3 years now. Well lately, we haven't been talking to eachother. She found some new friends, as have I. But I mean, once in a while, we'll talk. But, she's become this total slut. Seriously. She'll makeout with any guy (no matter the age). Plus she cheats on her boyfriend. She also tells everyone that she's gotten drunk/high/fingered/given a blowjob/given a handjob/had sex. Which is so not ture! But everyone at school is thinking she's a whore. I know she doesn't do it. But I have a feeling that she might, someday. She's only 12. But, she does all these crazy things with boys. No one likes her anymore.
You need to have a talk with her. If she's your best friend I'm sure she'll listen. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable for a 12 year old. Tell her she shouldnt make out with guys until she's older, and it should be her boyfriend, and only her boyfriend if she has a boyfriend. Tell her getting drunk/high is stupid choices for her future and are risking her life. Tell her getting fingered/given blowjobs/given handjobs/having sex is a great way to get STD's and pregnant. And if she doesnt listen to you and you geniunly care for her safety, go to her parents (or another trusted adult). They need to know she's saying these illegal things and that your afraid at this rate she might actually start this drugs and sex.

Q: hey!! i have a chance to try out for my high school musical (i'm in 8th). It requires singing and dancing, so i definitely have a chance with the dancing part. but with the singing, i'm not bad but there are a couple of better people. does any one have any tips on what i can do... like projection, that sort of thing. thanks!
Just remember to sing from your throat and feel it come up over the roof of your mouth and dont make such a squeaky sound for high notes. For low notes remember to sing from the chest area. Remember to get good breaths. And remember to have fun with it!

Q: I'm going to a dance tonight and I'm so excited I need help though, I know what I'm wearing but I need suggestions on what to do with my hair its shoulder length and I have long bangs down to my lips. I also need help with this. My two crushs are going and I really think one of them likes me because he is flirty with me and everything. I do like the other one alot but I don't think he likes me. Please help me decide on which one to go with... xox thanks.
Well, go with the 1st crush first of all. If you think he likes you and you like him its an obvious choice. ALSO curl your hair if you can do that. Or curl just a few pieces (have you seen that done, ringlets in a few sections of hair) and it'll like cute!

Q: I think I need to get over this guy. I've liked this boy for a really long time and we have went out before and we have done stuff. But the thing is he always likes me obsessively and then stops talking to me for a while, then over and over and over again. I'm pretty much sick of it but I think everytime he comes around I like him more and become more attached. I like sooooo much but I don't think I need this. How do I just get over him? Everytime I really try and start to really do, that's when he comes back to me and catches me again. There is no way I can really just stop him or stop myself from liking him. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks
Hmm...just cut him out of your life totally. Block him off of your buddylist. Delete his phone number. If he starts to talk to you, dont talk to him back. It just causes you to go back to him and get upset. It might take a while to do this but it will be worth it to have him out of your life. About the dating other guys, if it helps you get better try, but if it doesnt let dating rest for a little bit. Hmm...this question just reminds me of my best friend...and if I know her she wouldnt take my advice so you probably wont either haha. Just remember the longer you hold onto your hopes the more deeper you'll get in and the longer it will take you to get out of the mess.

Q: For the past while i have been cutting myself. At first it was just scratches and then i started cutting deeper and deeper. I am really scared and I don't want to talk to my parents, they have enough to worry about, so is there anyway i can break the habit and just stop...and please don't answer if you are just going to poke fun at me and mock me. I don't need that. Only post if you can help me.
Go to your guidance counselor. That might help. Maybe another adult you trust.

Q: One of my best friends used to have this "thing" with this guy. They seemed perfect for each other. But he stopped talking to her and pretty much dumped her, even though they weren't dating. She still has really strong feelings for him and I was there for her throughout the entire time. Now, I'm beginning to like this guy, and well he likes me too. My friend suspects something is up and I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt her in any way. But I think I really like this guy, and he really seems into me too, but I know my friend would be devastated if I started dating him. Like I said I don't know what to do. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose her as a friend. Do I tell her that I like him or not? What do I do about this guy? Do I pursue a relationship or what? I really need some advice! Please help!

*Confused*
I think you should tell your friend you like him, but don't go out with the guy. Even if your friend says its ok, she's still hurting and she still likes him. So dont hurt her more. She's going through a really bad time right now.

Q: I am 13 years old and my brother is 17 and he hits me allot and it hurts and I would like to know how to deal with it
Attack him with a chair.

Q: what would u do if your girlfriend got u A)boxers b) shirt c) cologne or however spell it d) bear e) nothing
Have hot passionate sex with her!

Q: im secretly in love with this guy in my homeroom and science class. his locker is 2 away from mine and he sits pretty close to me in science. (alphabetical order.) anyway, ive never told anyone. not even my best friend. sometimes out of the corner of my eye i see him staring at him. when i look somewhat in his direction his eyes dart away. should i look at him when i think he's staring at me? you know, to see if he really is...thanx!
Hmm I had the same thing happen to me 2 years ago I liked this boy in my science class and I'd see him staring at me and I'd stare at him but yeah off topic lol. Maybe stare at him until he looks, then lock eyes for a few second and smile. At your locker, maybe when he's turned or something drop a book and bend down to pick it up hehe. Or have a paper fly out near his locker. Then walk over, grab the paper that's near his, and say "(your class) is so hard, don't you agree?" Then he'll answer then you can be "who's your teacher?" you know, start a little conversation.

Q: Well I have this friend. He is really nice and I can be honest with him about almost everything. The problem is there is this one thing I'm not sure I can be honest about.He thinks my other friend (one of my bestestest friends) likes him. I asked her if she really did and she said no. I know I have to tell him so he doesn't get hurt by asking her or something but I don't know how. Any tips on how to break it to him? Should I really tell him? I'll rate high. Unless youranswer doesn't help at all. If you don't have anything to say to help please don't answer. Thank you.
Ask around to some girls and see if they would consider going out with him. Then talk to your guy friend after you find one and say. "Hey, my friend actually doesnt like you. But (other girl) said she would consider going out with you! You should hang out with her more often!" Or something like that.

bio
jenymca
Hi, I'm Jen. I'm a 15 yr. old sophmore at my highschool. I'm just an all-around-average girl (okay, I'm not THAT average) I enjoy giving advice and asking it lol. I play the trombone in my school band and jazz lab, I sing in the chorus and in my church choir, I have a few friends but not a crapload...and I'm always there for my friends with advice! Sometimes its not always what they want to hear, but I always mean the best. So, ask me a question and I'd be glad to answer!
JEN!!

Info
Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
PA

Occupation:
studen

Age:
15

AIM:
Member Since:
December 5, 2004

Answers:
179

Last Update:
May 13, 2009

Visitors:
12465

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker