Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
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Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
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Alright.
im a senior this year and i already know what im studying and where im going...and im actually getting a soccer scholarship. I have wanted this so bad for so long! It is a real dream come true for me!
But im scared out of my mind!!!!!!!
because its in santa cruz, which is 5 hours away from where i live now.
Im so scared to leave everything behind...and be on my own with no one...and leaving my friends is going to be so hard!
so any advice, or anyone been in this situation before...?
Thanks so much!!! (link)
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Hi,
I have been in this situation and going off to college when you've never been away will be an adjustment. It's normal to have anxiety, but you've answered your own question. You've wanted this for a long time. YOu just have to look ahead and take a leap of faith. Most of the freshmen there will feel the same way you do. YOu can always come home on the holidays, email, or telephone. The first semester will probably be the hardest, but once you get used to being away, you will feel much better.
It will give you a sense of independence and appreciation for what you have at home. It will also give you a chance to see new things and meet new people.
Yes, you will be leaving your old friends, but it's not forever. You're growing up. Enjoy this new endeavor in your life. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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there's this guy, that i've went out with about three years ago. but we broke up, but then we're best friends right now. and seems like our fire is about to be "relight", he confessed to me two days ago that he liked me again... and i'm not going to lie, i'm starting to like him again too. but the one that gets me curious, is that would this ruin our friendship or something? it's just a risk i should take.. but then, he just started his job at this one store, and there's this trainer.. who's a girl.. obviously. he says that he can see himself liking her, and he can also see himself liking this other girl too. and i was like "then why don't you go for her?" (he doesn't know that i like him again) and he goes "because i like you more" i'm not sure if i should keep my eyes on him.. because i've been cheated on before, and he knows that. but he's like "do i look like the kind of person that would cheat?" no he doesn't, but then it's a first time for everything right? he JUST NOW started the job, i don't want to go back out with him and he starts liking her.. if you know what i mean.. what should i do? and what's YOUR opinion on this? (link)
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Hi,
you didn't state in your question the reason for your break up. This could answer a lot of questions for you. If the reason was serious, does it still apply now?
I could be wrong, but it sounds to me as if he is enjoying his freedom, especially if he feels comfortable telling you about the other girls that he likes.
Working with someone that he is attracted to will be a definite temptation for him, so I say that if you want him you'd better tell him before one of those other girls does and you lose out.
Maybe that's what he meant by his comment about him liking you more than the other girl. He might have been trying to give you a hint.
It's hard to tell. YOu should definitely talk to him about how you feel. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I have a boyfriend in another school and he's just the sweetest and i love him. But theirs this guy in my school who i think likes me i accidentally kind touched his hand so he thought i was trying to hold his hand so he kinda grabbed my hand and i couldn't let go so we kind of held hands. Anyways theirs this cute guy in science he trys to talk to me sometimes but im usually starting the conversation but the thing is i like alll 3 guys. For diffrent reason i have a diffrent connection with each one of them [Please don't think im a player] it's just when i talk to them they give me this special spark thats diffrent and this feeling that is just unexplainable.. Oh what should i do! i can't have them all! (link)
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Hi,
you're not the first person to feel like this. we all wish we could combine the characteristics of different people and put them all into one.
The thing you have to remember is that no one is perfect. YOu're going to find flaws in everyone. Like you said, you can't have them all.
My advice is to figure out if what you have with your boyfriend is worth staying in the relationship. YOu say you love him and just because you're attracted to other people doesn't mean you don't. You're human but you can't let these other relationships go from platonic to physical. If you think you can't control your feelings, it's only fair that you end things with your boyfriend. Sooner or later you're going to have to make a choice. YOu can be in a relationship or you can simply date to see what guy is the one for you. Being a teenager is about getting to know yourself. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I know this is nothing serious but my curioustiy has gotten the best of me. So here it goes. I bruised my thigh badly about a month again. After that, a knot developed, and it is still there, not seeming to improve. Could it be something serious? Or is it just because I hit my thigh extrememly hard? Thanks to anyone who takes the time to answer. (link)
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Hi,
I get these all the time. I always hitting my leg or thigh or something. The severity of the bruise depends on whether you get a knot or not. Sometimes the bruise can disappear and you can still feel the knot. Don't be alarmed if this happens.
Although if it remains, gets bigger or goes away and the bruise and not reappears then that's when you should seek medical advice. Hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I am an Indian.I m getting married three months from now.And so will be having Sex for the first time.What is it that I should be prepared for?I don wanna embarras myself or my fiance.how to make it a pleasant experience for the first time?
I m excited but nervous too.please advice. (link)
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Hi,
congratulations on waiting until you get married to have sex. You don't hear that too often these days.
The first thing you have to be prepared for is some pain. The amount is different for everyone.
Secondly,you should be prepared for it to be a little awkward for both of you at first. YOu have to get to know each others bodies to feel what's right and how you can compliment each other.
If you're really concerned, you might want to talk to him about what you're feeling and ease your mind.
Once that's done, it's only a matter of time before you master it and will soon be giving each other ultimate pleasure! I hope your night is fantastic.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I'm not the most attractive person. I'm not ugly, but I'm not exactly pretty either.
But my boyfriend always tells me how I'm the most beautiful person on earth in his eyes, and I don't see how that is possible. I just feel like he is lying to me :-(
Any input?
(link)
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Hi,
YOu're kidding right? Most women would love to have their man tell them that very thing. YOu have to build your self-esteem. If you don't, it's going to affect your relationship and he might be turned off. Men don't want to hear how unattractive you think you are when they are constantly tell you how beautiful you are. I don't know how old you are, but you will soon learn that they want to feel like everything they tell you is gospel. If he thinks you are beautiful, why not believe him. Would he be with you if he didn't think so? Count your blessings and the next time he tells you that you are beautiful, smile and say thank you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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uh well me and my bf started dating ova the internet ( msn) and i didnt no what he looked lyk.im not sure but he says he loves me and i believe him and i like him too.but we went to the beach , lagoon thingy and i stripped down to a tight bikiny and short board shorts. i thought he might get lyk u no how we all show off in different ways well that was mine but he took no notice, he looked a few times but when we went for the water he swam away and then when i fianlly got close to him we layed in the shallow water and i held his had close to my chest. i dono what else to do to make him want to do stuff with me ( not in that way ) lyk doing stuff as in holding hands kissing that stuff but he dosent seem to show interest. plz help me im 13 and female.sorry bout the long question! (link)
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Hi,
sweetheart I know it feels really good to have a boyfriend and really like him, but he is much too young to be thinking about how to kiss you and how to hold your hand. Boys are just not put together that way at that age.
When you came out in your tight bikini, I'm sure he liked it, but he probably had no idea of what to do or think about it.
I know some kids your age are doing that and more, but you don't have to be one of them.
Let things like that happen at the appropriate time. Don't rush this time in your life.
It's nothing wrong with having fun, but try concentrating on activities like going to the movies, the arcades, skating, bowling. YOu have plenty of time for everything else. Hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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18/f
Okay so I've been hitting up the gym with this guy lately and we've been doing alot of different things for our legs and arms and such but I'm looking to work on my abs. What are some excersizes I can do to work them out? Not necessarily to get a six pack but enough so that they're hard and not flabby. Also, something I can do with the guy there is a bonus because sometimes excersising with a guy is awkward enough without the random positions.. (but if they work i can do some at home) (link)
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Hi,
the first step into getting your abs into shape is lots and lots of cardio. Even if you have the hardest abs, you're not going to be able to see your results if you have a layer of fat on top of them.
Some excercises that have worked for me are the basic crunch. You don't need to do a full sit-up to get results in your upper abs. You can do thers sitting or standing.
Another excercise would be putting your feet up under a bed and crunching up. In addition to that alternat elbow to knee for your obliques. 15 on eac side, work your way up to 3 or 4 sets.
For those difficult to reach lower abs also know as the horrible muffin top, lay flat on your back with your hands and feet secured to the floor and raise your buttocks about 4 inches off the floor. Do this until you can't do anymore. Again, 3 or 4 sets is good. These workd great for me. I hope they work.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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well i have anxiety attacks when i get really stressed out and i was wondering what i should do. i used to cut but i quit so i dont know what else to do. i would sleep but i always hav anxiety when i have lots of hw still to do so i cant sleep and not get it done. talking to my boyfriend can get me through an anxiety attack but i dont want to always have to depend on him or make him feel like he has to always be there in case i freak. we are equals and i dont like feeling like he has to take care of me. we should take care of each other. anyway please give me some ideas and tell me what works for you!!! i think i might start jogging... (link)
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Hi,
I used to get anxiety attacks all the time. Little things used to worry me and I, like you would freak out. At first, I didn't know what they were and people thought it was all in my head. So I went on the internet and did some researh. The thing that worked for me was as soon as I realized that I was having an attack, I took a few deep breaths and acessed the situation. I tried to put things into perspective. Most things that we are anxious about, we have no control over. It's going to happen whether you freak out or not. I learned to seperate myself from the situation. In other words, I put my emotions in check.
This is not an easy task. It took a long time for me to be able to do this, but the thing that got me was the fact that I was literally making myself sick. I didn't want to be sick. I didn't want to have my heart beating a million beats a minute, the sweating, tingling fingers and toes. This wasn't my idea of a good time. I wasn't going to allow anything to have control over my life like that. It's totally mind over matter. You have to want it. You have to want to get better.
Try writing your feelings down in a journal. That's also something that works for me.
In some cases, medication is a better option. Anxiety attacks can be serious. If none of these methods work, get help. That's the bravest thing you can do for yourself. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I'm 16 and I've been going out with this guy for three months. We met during the summer and I was doubtful that things would continue into the school year because we go to cross town rival high schools. He is different than any guy I've ever met. He isn't much into texting, just a couple of texts a day, but he calls me every night. Recently he got sick and he found out he has mono. He hasn't been able to go to school and I haven't been able to see him. It's driving me crazy, because I like him so much! For about the past week he has acted uninterested in me. He hasn't called as much, but when he does, its like old times. Should I just assume this has to do with him being sick, or should I worry that this time apart has hurt us? I don't want to break up with him, even if I did, I wouldn't do it until I could see him and break up face to face. Should I ask him what's going on? Should I just wait until he is better and see what happens? Thanks for any help! (link)
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Hi,
I think it's a little early in the relationship for you to be worried. Like you said he does have mono. This condition makes you feel like crap. YOu're jumping to conclusions. I'm sure the last he wants to do is talk to anyone. Try not to take it so personally. Give him some time to get better and see how things go. Then you'll have a better perspective. I hope I eased your mind.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I really feel like I have no direction in life anymore.
17/f. Basically spent three and a half years of high school screwing around, didn't care enough to pass. Was send to a continuation school, worked my butt off, graduated with a semester 4.0, but my cumulative GPA is still a 1.3. There's obviously no way I could get into a college (even the community college in my town is competitive).
I'm so sad and jealous of all my friends who are in college. I don't feel like I'm good at anything. According to all those tests (like the school kind), I'm "gifted" but I feel stupid and like I'll fail, no matter what I do.
I had a retail job, but I quit because I thought I was going to get fired. Now I can't find a job- I've applied literally everywhere I can find, made followup calls, but nothing.
My living situation isn't making me happy, either. My mom is mentally ill and emotionally abusive but I can't afford to live with anyone else. (My dad won't have me.)
I just feel so directionless, I don't know where to go from here. The only thing that makes me happy is my boyfriend, but I don't even deserve him. I have no motivation and don't know what the hell to do. My 18th birthday is in two months, I'm getting kicked out. I guess what I'm asking is how do I deal, grow up, become independent and get out of this depression? (link)
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Hi,
after reading your question, I can understand your dilemma. You probably feel pretty stupid (excuse my French) for messing around for three years of high school. I have a brother who did the same thing. Most kids in your situation do the same thing. They figure out what they did wrong and want to hurry up and fix it by doing what they should have done in the first place. 9 times out of 10 it's too late.
Most colleges want the students who have put the time and effort to study.
Good news, it's never too late. YOu did a good thing by getting yourself together, but you should never quit a job until you have another one lined up. That's the golden rule. You're not fired until they say you're fired.
In today's world a mere high school diploma is not going to get you anywhere. The competition is too stiff.
The first thing you have to do is figure out what you are going to do about your living situation. Do you have any other friends or relatives that you could live with on a temporary basis? If not some communities have shelters. If yours doesn't, you might have to get public aid for a while. With that maybe you can get a studio apartment or a one bedroom with a roommate.
How does your boyfriend figure into this? Another option that you may want to consider is a trade school. YOu shouldn't have a problem getting admitted. Most of them have 1 to 2 year programs and job placement after graduation. Once you get a job you will gain some self-esteem and feel less depressed. You can go from there.
I know it's tough. This situation in itself is making you grow up. In the meantime, try not to dwell on the past. YOu can't do anything about it. Everyone makes mistakes. Keep your head up and move forward. I hope I helped. Keep me informed.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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i really had no idea where to put this. sorry.
so here is my dilemma... recently well about two months ago i moved and about a month ago i started a new school. i went from a small school, where i knew everyone to a school thats huge. i havent made any real friends. and im not doing so good in class, well in most classes. im tired of being alone, ive stayed at home with my family every single weekend, and it sucks. i havent even met anyone that i would really want to be my friend. well a few im just exaggerating. everyone i meet i cant stand. there are a few i take that back. but for the most part every single country accent gets on my nerves. which has never been the case before.
my family is military so ive moved a fe times before the last time was in the 7th grade. i was lucky to make friends they became the best friends i ever had, now i hardly talk to them, because things come up different time zones and one of them just got there computer taken away. and its killing me not to have anyone to talk to. i had this guy that i really really liked. and ive only talked to him a few times since i moved.
its not like people havent talked to me. it just really hasnt gone after the where did you move from? stage. i dont know how to remake friends.
and the guys, god. i think ive had 3 people who already like me since i moved here and we have had like one conversation. which bothers me so much. and the other ones who do have conversations with me (that like me) i dont like. i still miss the guy i left behind and i just want friends. whether guy or girl. and i like to take things slow. like everything here isnt like that. it goes from going out to having sex the next day. everything is just so so different. IM LOST. i dont know what to do. oh plus i dont know how to talk to a guy. when someone cute comes up to me i freeze up and walk faster. which i look like a loser. im not comfortable and this is totally unlike me. this whole blurb im writing it unlike me
im sorry to be so negative but i cant take it anymore. im shy i dont know how to make friends, and as cliche as it sounds im lonely. please please please help. im desperate.
thanks in advace
(link)
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Hi,
It's tough bing a military brat; being in a new school where everything that you have grown accustomed to has now changed. It seems to me that you're not giving yourself a chance. You're sentencing yourself to doom before you try anything. Because of that you're letting your education suffer. I know you know how imortant your education is.
YOu have to put yourself out there. Show people what a good person you are and how nice it would be for them to hang around you.
Try joing some organizations that really interest you, not just the ones that are popular. By doing this, it will ensure that you will be mingling with people who share your interests. YOu will begin to form a bond.
Once you do that, you will begin to feel more confident. Then try inviting one or two of them over for whatever. this will allow you to get to know them on a more personal level. Soon they will spread the word about how cool you are to hang out with.
Before you know it, you will feel wonderful about yourself and your new school. This process will take time. Don't rush yourself. Take one step at a time.
As far as guys are concerned, you are right. Don't sacrifice your values for what everyone else is doing. I'm sure there are some people who share your values about sex. Take time and let a guy get to know you. YOu're not going to know if you like him until you talk to him.
Cheer up, this too shall pass. I hope I helped. Keep me informed.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I have a strange situation here. I'm 18/m, in college, and there is a girl in my class with whom I was really good friends with, then we added each other on myspace (I REALLY like her by now), I ask her to the movies, during the movie we cuddle/hold hands. If felt right and she was the one who initiated everything.
Then the next day she asks me if we are dating, to which I say yes, then she says that we should be going out instead, and on her profile she puts the 'in a relationship' status. Then the next day we have class together, and she seemed really seemed more quiet. That night she tells me she might be a lesbian, or bisexual, but she still really likes me and wants to work this out. Then she tells me she only likes me as a friend but we can still hang out and stuff. She changed her relationship status to single. We went out to dinner, it was awkward, and she kind of completely stopped talking to me since. I asked her about it and she told me she wasn't mad at me, and she'll explain next class. She didn't. I asked her about it again and she said she'll explain this weekend. Well, its Sunday night, and she still hadn't said a word to me. She won't even look at me.
I'm confused. First she was telling me how much she liked me (I believe she was being genuine, just trust me on this), then how she didn't like me that way and how she still wants to work this out, now she isn't talking to me at all. And we are in the same group of friends and she still talks to them. Whats happening? What should I do? She is 17 by the way but also in college. (link)
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Hi,
I think she is confused about her sexualtiy and the reason that she is not talking to you now is because she feels guilty and wierd about leading you on.
I don't know about you, but I would personally not want to be in a relationship with someone who obviously has some issues to work out.
If she is bisexual, are you ready to deal with that; one minute she is with you, the next she is with a girl? It's only going to bring you heartache because you are really feeling her.
I think you should let it go before you get in too deep.
It wasn't fair for her to pull you in that deep. I'm sure she was geniune, but she is confused. For now, if you want, be friends with her, but be careful. She won't be able to be in any kind of serious relationship until she figures things out. I hope I helped.
Hi, it's ediemarie,
I don't have a clear picture of what you are trying to ask. Are you saying that you still want to be with him or are you asking about how to make things more clear for him. If you want me to answer you privately send your question to my inbox. I would be happy to help.
Ediemarie,
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yea.. I actually have a reason why I do not want to talk to him its because I am scared I will bother him and I do not want him to think that I am jeolous about him getting into a relationship, trying to interfere in his relationship and I do not want him to think that I like him.
I actually have had feelings for him before and I told him about it 4 years ago, and he started to avoid me even though he told me that he likes me and he had mixed feelings. Sometimes I really wonder does he not have a little feelings that he likes me cause he treats me really good for example when I was clubbing with him and his friends just 3 months back, I was drunk and I went to the dance floor to dance. I got dizzy and heading alone to our table to rest, and he saw me walking off alone from the dance floor. He followed me and he told me to hold his hand tightly while he leads the way to our table. Actually, up until now my feelings have developed more than just like but I always deny that I do not have feelings for him already cause I do not want him to avoid me again. He even told me that he thinks that he will not suit me as a boyfriend and he even asked me what type of guys do I like just 3 months ago. But I didn't know he will end up in a relationship with my friend(I am not close with her) last month. I am not sure whether he was hinting me or something cause I am really afraid the same thing will repeat again which will ruin our friendship over again. That's why I just keep the feelings to myself and not letting him know about it that I still love him up until today.
Thanks for the advice, but I really want to be there for him when he needs me... its just that I do not know when is the right time to be there for him cause now I think all his problems he will definetely share it with his girlfriend already... (link)
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Hi,
I kind of figured it was something like that. That's tough. It's hard to be around someone you have strong feelings for and watch them be with someone else. Everyone has been thtough it.
You're probably right. I'm sure he suspects that you would be uncomfortabe with the situation with his girlfriend because you told him how you felt. I think he trying to spare your feelings because he cares about you.
However, you don't know where this relationship is going with this girl. You don't know if it's going to last or not. So, my advice to you would be, for now to try and keep your feelings in check and just be his friend. Just show him that everything is the same. He'll come around. You don't have to mention anything about how you feel. YOu might be right about him distancing himself further.
He's not going to forget what type of friend you are. It's alright if there's a seperation right now and I know you want more. Don't give up hope. You never know what might happen.
Like they say girlfriends come and go friends are forever. She can't take that away. Keep me informed.
Always,
Ediemarie
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Okay so I've got these two friends Jessi, and Kayne. And last friday our school had a field trip. Well on the field trip we had to be split into groups.
Niether kayne me, or jessi had the same group so the field trip was pointless. Well anyways on the bus on the way there jessi and kayne sat by each other and it was cool they talked to me, no problem there.
However the thing was that when we got back onto the bus they sat by each other AGAIN. Only this time they didn't talk to me once till half way back to school. Kayne said " hey how was your group today" and then before I could say horrible he and jessi were back together chatting. They didn't say another word to me after that. so once we were at school it was 3:05 we got out at 3:10.
I was fed up with it so I finally said, why won't you guys talk to me. THEN things got interesting. They accused me of being jelous, and that it wasn't fair to them. That I shouldn't blame them for anything.
So now idk what to do. WHat should I do tomorow act like it never happened or ask for an apology or ignore COMPLETELY?
I tried to call but they don't pick up, and I KNOW they're home. I saw them.
I want things to go back 2 the way they were before.
(link)
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Hi,
I don't know the history of your friendship, but from my experience, 2 is company and 3 is definitely a crowd. I've been in this kind of thing before and it always turns out the same. I'm either on the inside or the outside. I don't know why that is. It's just that 2 of the 3 always seem to find more in common than the other or have the same views about the same thing.
It could be a matter of jealousy on their part for whatever reason. You're going to do nothing but stress yourself out worrying about it. YOu're never going to figure it out and I'm sorry for that.
It seems like they are already in allegiance with each other.
I would however talk to them for your own piece of mind. Ask for an explanation and tell them what their friendhip means to your.
That's really all you can do.
Definitely do not act like it didn't happen or they'll keep doing it. I really hope it works out. I'll be thinking about you. Keep me informed.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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okay so i really really like my boyfriend of 2 months. we haven't been going out all that long but we've been making out and stuff and i know he really cares about me. thing is, when we make out he doesnt really move his hands...i move mine around his face neck and hair alot and he kinda just wraps his arms around me and thats where they stay the whole time...is there any hints i can give him that would tell him he could touch me? thankss
17/f (link)
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Hi,
I've been in this very situation before. You are right. He probably does care a lot about you. The problem is, he doesn't really know how to express himself in that way. A lot of young men that age don't. Most of them act like they're so macho, but the reality is that most of them are just as inexperienced as women are.
It's very easy to go to bed with someone, but when you're expressing your feelings with your hands by touching the face and caressing the hair etc, things can get complicated.
Some good advice I have for you is when you're in a romantic situation and he has his hands around you, gently take his hands and place them where you want them. Then reply, "that's nice, I love when you do that. I feel so safe and cared for. He will love it because he'll know he's making you feel good.
Believe me, he'll do it all the time. If you don't tell and then show he'll never know. They can't read our minds. I hope I helped. Keep me informed about how it went.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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your two reasons that you have given me was quite correct cause this is the first time he got into a relationship with a girl. And his girlfriend is one of my friends, so his girl knows that him and I were close. will my friendship with him goes back to normal once his infatuation stage is gone? how long will it last usually? I really miss those days with him, can there other ways how I can repair this friendship/the gap which has grown between us that tearing us far apart other than talking to him? (link)
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Hi sweetie,
I'm glad you got back to me and I'm happy to help you with any further advice.
The infatuation stage can last between 2 to 4 months, but I don't think you should wait that long to talk to him. It might further strain the relationship.
Is there some particular reason why you don't want to talk to him? Are you sure you just want to be friends with him?
Try this suggestion; invite the two of them and some other friends out or over for some fun. While there, mention to them that you are happy that they found each other and you hope it works out. Remember, you want to make her feel secure. Are you and she close?
Your relationship with him probably bothers a a lot since you were so close. It will also put him at ease and he will feel comfortable talking to you again.
Remember right now this is new for him. He has not forgotten you. Just be there for him when he needs you. In the meantime get out and have some fun with your other friends. Keep me informed.
As always good luck,
Ediemarie
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i am starting to worry that my moms boy friend thinks that i am a bitch. i heard him one time curse at me. so i dont know why. i dont feel like i ever have to do anything to please him. he doesnt pay our rent or buy us food. (link)
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Hi,
First of all don't ask him any questions before you talk to your mom. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate him talking to her daughter like that.
I don't know how old you are, but I think you should let her handle it. It might be too much for you. Tell her exactly how you feel.
You are right. You are not responsible for pleasing him, only giving him respect because he is your mom's boyfriend. However, if he is not respecting you, that's another story. Respect is earned. Tell your mom. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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Im 15/f if it helps....
when i was little my Dad moved far away and iv always had problems dealing with it but lately its been worse I havent been sleeping at all, all i ever wanna do is hide but this morning i signed onto Yahoo and there was a message from him that he will be having another kid in the spring, i dont know how to deal with it, he also says he might only have 6 years to left and i dont think i can handle this on my own i need help. (link)
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Hi,
because you can't sleep and you feel as if you want to hide all of the time, you are probably going through some type of anxiety about your dad. It's normal considering your situation. The fact that he's having another child probably has you feeling a little jealous and jaded since you didn't spend a good majority of your childhood with him, also normal.
I'm sorry to hear that he may not have much time left. YOu should try to mend your relationship with him. The fact that he reached out to you shows that he cares and is making the first move. Have you talked to him or anyone about the way you feel? What about your mom or a counselor? Maybe he doesn't know how his absence has affected you. You don't want to shut him out and later regret it. Give him a chance to explain his side of it. Maybe you can find a way to visit him so the two of you can spend some quality time together. I hope it works out for the two of you.
Good luck,
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I KNOW THIS MESSAGE IS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP ME :(
Hello i am 19 year old girl, i have a loving family and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first ever boyfriend and my first in everything sex wise and relationship wise. ALOT has happened so i'll just tell you the simple version. The relationship started out fine in the beginning and then after about a year he started to get very argumentative and very angry later on that year he broke up with me and told me he slept with another girl and wore a condom BUT didnt cheat on me, and after a month he wanted to get back together, so i did, 3 months after we got back together i dragged out of him that he didnt in fact wear a condom so he lied to me, i undertook the correct precautions when he told me this and thankfully everything was fine with me and him so stayed with him despite the lie, 6 months later i then found out that he lied again when he said that he slept with the girl when we broke up he actually cheated on me, he acted very sorry and said the arguments would stop and things would change so i forgave him again.
Throughout all of this he has gained a very bad relationship with my mother and relatives, when we first got together my mum treated him extemley well but since the cheating he has been cocky and arrogant to my mother, when he was arguing at me again about a month a go, my mum got involved as she didnt like the way he was talking to me and he told her to 'shut her f***ing mouth.'
he refuses to take me out anywhere as he says he cant be bothered.
It has now been 6 months since these lies adn arguments and i feel now has been the final straw. my grandmother was ill and i told him that i could only see him for 3 hours, i told him this as his house he FLIPPED 'What the f*** you didnt tell me how dare you' i then said im leaving and he blocked the door i shouted and went into the living room, he blocked that door he wouldnt let me out i called my mother and he was in the background SHOUTING and SWEARING and he wouldnt let me out, he then said go on get out theres the door f*** off and DIE i went to leave and he blocked the door again saying it was a joke and he loves me. eventually his parents came home and said they would give me a lift home, he said 'its my f***ing car too im coming as well' he was swearing at me saying your a bitch you treat me like s*** you treat me like a dog no wonder you dont have any friends. now he is acting like nothing has happened saying i love you all the time and saying he wants to take me some place special for my birthday and give me my birthday presents.
i know i should leave him but this is all i know since i was 17 and im so scared to leave him, im going to university but i have no friends and scared of never being loved by anyone else and he'll be the only one who'll ever love me :(
please help (link)
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Hi,
get out of that relationship and get out fast. He has been treating you like crap and believe me he is not going to change. His treatment of you is deplorable. His treatment of your parents is disrespectful.
He wants you to feel exactly the way you are feeling right now. It's a way of controlling you. He wants you to feel totaly isolated so that you will be totally dependent on him and always run back to him.
The fact that he not only cheated on you is bad enough, but he didn't wear a condomn! He put your health at risk and like you said lucky for you everything worked out, this time.
I think that if you stay with him his treatment of you is only going to escalate into violence. I know you are afraid of being out there alone, but everytime you take him back, you are condoning his behaviour; you are showing him that it's okay for him to do you that way. Your gut is telling you it's not right.
Go to college and get your education. Believe me you will make friends, you will find a boyfriend who will treat you the way you should be treated. You have to believe that you deserve to be treated with respect. Once you believe that, no one will be able to do that to you again and you will respect yourself.
I know it's hard to think of a life without him since he's all you know, but time heals all. Each day will getter easier and better. The more you put yourself out there, the more you'll push him to the curb. Don't be fooled by cards, flowers, a good dinner, or anything else he throws your way. It won't last. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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