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Lost
I really feel like I have no direction in life anymore.
17/f. Basically spent three and a half years of high school screwing around, didn't care enough to pass. Was send to a continuation school, worked my butt off, graduated with a semester 4.0, but my cumulative GPA is still a 1.3. There's obviously no way I could get into a college (even the community college in my town is competitive).
I'm so sad and jealous of all my friends who are in college. I don't feel like I'm good at anything. According to all those tests (like the school kind), I'm "gifted" but I feel stupid and like I'll fail, no matter what I do.
I had a retail job, but I quit because I thought I was going to get fired. Now I can't find a job- I've applied literally everywhere I can find, made followup calls, but nothing.
My living situation isn't making me happy, either. My mom is mentally ill and emotionally abusive but I can't afford to live with anyone else. (My dad won't have me.)
I just feel so directionless, I don't know where to go from here. The only thing that makes me happy is my boyfriend, but I don't even deserve him. I have no motivation and don't know what the hell to do. My 18th birthday is in two months, I'm getting kicked out. I guess what I'm asking is how do I deal, grow up, become independent and get out of this depression?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hi,
after reading your question, I can understand your dilemma. You probably feel pretty stupid (excuse my French) for messing around for three years of high school. I have a brother who did the same thing. Most kids in your situation do the same thing. They figure out what they did wrong and want to hurry up and fix it by doing what they should have done in the first place. 9 times out of 10 it's too late.
Most colleges want the students who have put the time and effort to study.
Good news, it's never too late. YOu did a good thing by getting yourself together, but you should never quit a job until you have another one lined up. That's the golden rule. You're not fired until they say you're fired.
In today's world a mere high school diploma is not going to get you anywhere. The competition is too stiff.
The first thing you have to do is figure out what you are going to do about your living situation. Do you have any other friends or relatives that you could live with on a temporary basis? If not some communities have shelters. If yours doesn't, you might have to get public aid for a while. With that maybe you can get a studio apartment or a one bedroom with a roommate.
How does your boyfriend figure into this? Another option that you may want to consider is a trade school. YOu shouldn't have a problem getting admitted. Most of them have 1 to 2 year programs and job placement after graduation. Once you get a job you will gain some self-esteem and feel less depressed. You can go from there.
I know it's tough. This situation in itself is making you grow up. In the meantime, try not to dwell on the past. YOu can't do anything about it. Everyone makes mistakes. Keep your head up and move forward. I hope I helped. Keep me informed.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I know this may not be what you want to hear... but with the employment issues these days why don't you try a Temp Agency? They are an Agency that helps people find temporary jobs and if the people like you they might hire you.
Sorry I couldn't be more of help, However I wish you the best of luck in what comes.
Bahaima22
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