Ask shake!

Advice Column | Ask a Question | View Feedback | http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck

About shake



*WARNING*
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have better things to do? Is your life so emtpy that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with the authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want?Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masterbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...

"Contrary to what your mothers and teachers tell you, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap."





Ask Me For Advice
View Feedback
Make Favorite Columnist

Website: http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck
E-mail: pimpstickagostop@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: No one cares
Occupation: Journalist
Age: 22
AIM: shootthefat1
Member Since: February 10, 2005
Answers: 2248
Last Update: December 24, 2005
Visitors: 28705


Favorite Columnists
hitler_the_goat
poa
naimee
savorystillborns

Advicenators.com



Hi ..theres a school dance on fri. and all my friends have plans to do something before the dance but i dont! my group of friends split in half & basically i was the one left out! ='( Im so sad ..but what do i do? No one really wants me to join their plans ..We cant bring ppl from other towns and everyone like in my school (that i know well) has plans.. hwat do i do? signed, Lonely

Play video games and answer stupid questions on an advice site.

[view]


im 16 and had a baby 3 months ago today.my mum and dad are strict catholics and demanded that me and my baby)s father to get married.well me and the babys father split. so my mum and dad were like "i told u so". i left home and moved into a council flat.i have got exams this yaer and im finding it so hard.even tho i have paid childcare thoughtout the day im so tired to do anything.my mum said that i had her and so shes my responsability.im getting desperate now and even thought about adoption.has anyone got any good advica on how to cope. the last thing i want to do is say to my mum that she was right.sorry its long.

Aaaah, yes another idiot. Well, those exams...you're going to FAIL them because you had sex. Your LIFE is ruined, you'll be a poverty stricken single mother. You'll scare guys off because you have a kid. Of course they arent ready for one of those in their early 20's or late teens. You are screwed over for your life. Im not being ass, im telling you the consequences of what you did.

Now, have the baby go up for adoption. If no one takes your ugly baby, shoot it.

[view]


how do i talk to a girl that i dont know and i wanna get to know her but im a bit shy?

Walk up to ther and be like

SUP GIRL!! YOU CHECKED FOR BREAST CANCER LATELY!!(feel her boobs)NOPE YOU ARE ALL CLEAN ON THE BREAST CANCER!! SOO, WHAT TYPE OF GUYS YOU LIKE?!

If she doesnt fall falt on her face for you then, shes ignorant and rude. She wont be your type.

[view]


I had a pretty bad cold over the weekend, and since then, I haven't had a voice. I've been taking it easy with it, taking medicine and such, but I need my voice back. I'm trying out for choir and I need a voice. Any remedies or medicines that will get my voice back quickly? Please help, I need a miracle. I'll rate for effort.

There is no miracle for getting your voice back.

[view]


Hi, let me start by saying I'm young. 13f and my best friend died. Her brother was hurt really bad and i feel like it was my fault, cuz they were on their way to pic me up when a drunk driver ran into them. My friend died instantly and her brother is expected to die in the next seven-twelve days. I want to say something to him, but I don't know what and if I don't hurry, it might be too late. You can e-mail me at prettymoonbug@hotmail.com

Or we can talk to you on here!

Naa, its not your fault you called them and at the time you called them it was the same time that a drunk driver would pass by the intersection they went through and got them killled

You're just unlucky.
Actually its in no way your fault.

[view]


Hey* I am really thin im 5"5 and i weigh 95 pounds and im 14! But i have nO chest (breasts)! What can i do i try everything i never stuffed my self though so dont say that...lol! I feel so left out especially with my friends because they all have breasts and i dont! I mean i cant even wear a decent bathing suit in the summer or clothes that you need to have breasts to wear them! Help me PlEaSe Ty~ =)

That sucks. Thats soooooo not hot. Maybe you just havnt hit the puberty streak yet. You'll get there.

[view]


Hi, I'm a male 35 yrs of age trying to choose a wife. (1)why do woman dress provocitave like show alot cleavige? (2)why do some woman like to glance or look at a mans crouch? (3)why do some woman constantly talk to thier co-worker about sex/men and penis size what kind of woman is she and how does she realy feel about men? (4)when a group of woman go out every weekend to a nightclub/dance/bar, after exchanging phone numbers and meeting a couple of men, what are thier real intentions? (5)why do woman dress nice/tight/sexy for work, when thier job workplace involves sweat, dirt and lifting boxes? all woman love to look beautiful,but where do u draw the line? All woman love to recieve compliments ,but which are out to seek them? Which is the nice girl and which is the slut? Please include:other websites, links/books/ect.. thank you, needto choosemissrite

1. Because it gives men hard-ons
2. When they wear the provacitave clothes and see the hard-ons they know that we men think they're hot.
3. It, coming from a man sounds much more convincing than coming from a female co worker
4. Nothing really, they just want in someones pants
5. Thats the same question as__why do women wear pants that constantly slouch down exposing their rear and stomach constantly pull them back up when in fact they were made to do that___Why do women wear short skirts they are constantly holding down when in fact they were meant to shoot up at any slight brisk of air or when they go to sit down__.


Us guys, and most women just really dont know.

[view]


I told my friend that i loved him. I wrote him a letter and basicly told him that I loved him and that even though we can't be together now I hope in the future we can be more than friends. (he moved to NC) Well he wrote me back and said cool. and then he's been ignoring me for the past two weeks. Well tonight I had a new sn on aim. and I IMed his sister..obviously thinking it was her lol. and he was like this is justin. and all I could say was "oh" and so he was like "oh. that's what i am to you!" he really confuses me. I mean if he liked me the same as I like him why won't he say it?! when i had a bf and it old him he said "we can't have a long distant relationship?" and when he lived up here by me. we would be close and hug and sometimes kiss each other on the cheek. i just don't know what's happening with this. I'm fine with us being close friends but I can't stand him acting like that. what should I do? we never really talk anymore. and it seems like he doesn't want me to every talk to him. and it makes me sad to know I'll never talk to him agian.

"oh. thats what i am to you"

It means hes a whiner who likes you. Dont bother with him, hes a pussie whos feelings are easily hurt.

[view]


hello,
ok my friend has a problem she likes this guy but she cant trust him at all ok.no one can really trust him i mean he has like gfs but umm when he does he flirts with everybody else and he has a crush on my friend but she doesnt want to go out with him because she cant trust him. she tried to advoid him but that didnt work lol. now shes gonna try to talk to him and tell him she just wants to keep it at a friends level. how can she do this without ruining the friendship.

Why do you care? Shouldnt, if it was a problem for her, she be asking this question?

[view]


ok, i have 6 of the bottle caps that say "free song" on them. so what do i do once i get to the iTunes thing to get a song to put on the iPod. i know how to do it if i have the like 15 songs free gift card type of thing, but i just don't know what i'm supposed to do with the bottlecaps.

Send the caps to me, once i've bought the songs ill instruct you how to do it.

[view]


About a year ago, my nephew started to steal things. He stopped doing it after he stole a hundred dollar bill from my brother-in-law. We called a police man in to ... "threaten" him. His real mother is an ex-convict, and she called him around easter. All of the sudden, he is theiving again. We think she triggered his rebellious side. I think that he thinks he'll impress his mother by acting like her. She says she's coming over this summer, and our family is worried. My family is baffled on what we should do now. We've grounded him to his room yet somehow, he manages to still theive. We know it's him, because we've caught him in the act several times. We're sending him to church now, to see if it will shape him up a bit. But he's taking it as a punishment.If we don't do something soon I'm afraid that he'll turn out like his mom. And that's nothing an aunt wants for her nephew. I need help, I don't want him to end up in jail by the time he's eighteen.

Hmm, church is a punishment. Maybe hes atheist.

Hes stealing because hes a young retard. If the police man is still talking to him, have the guy pull a gun on the young one. Have the guy say "if you every steal again, ill kill your mother, put an asshole on your teddy bear and shove his head up it, and piss on your pillow". Make sure the guy looks freaky too!

He'll never steal again.

[view]


alright, so there is this guy that my bf is not-quite-but-sorta friends with. nick, the dude, is trying really hard to get in our realtionship. he's always asking questions and saying things that he has no right to say. he asked my bf if we had sex in his truck. i honestly don't think its nick's business what my bf and i do or do not do. what can i do to get this guy to get the hint that no one likes him and he is not wanted anywhere near me. thanks in advance.

signed-
pissed off

Hmm, he seems to be friends with your BF so i think he is liked and wanted. Just not in your presence.

[view]


Ok, so on my computer I am trying to get a background on my home screen of a picture of Tyler HIlton. I copy a picture from the web, save it, then go onto Paint. When I get to paint and try to set it as a background, it tells me to save the file. I try saving it, (again) but it wont let me save it so I cant get the picture as a background. Any help would be awesome, because its kinda confusing. Thank alot
I rate high

Whats it saying? The easiest thing to do. Is go back to the site, get the picture right click and make it a background from the options on there.

[view]


Can anyone tell me about any awesome free online adventure games? I've already been to runescape, but are there any other good ones?

No

[view]


I am a guy who has liked the same girl for a very very long time. We used to be real close, but then she found out that I liked her and things got weird between us. She would never talk to me, ignore me, that kinda thing. So I made up a lie, I posted on my xanga that I didnt like her anymore although I think she still suspects. Anyway, we've been getting along ALOT better ever since I said that. Should I just go ahead and come out? If I do come out, should I ask her out?

XANGAS SUCK!

Visit myne some time.

www.xanga.com/natoksane1

[view]


Theres a girl who is a complete and total slut shes trying to take my boyfriend away from me I dont like her and she knows it i have talked to my boyfriend and he promised he wouldn't go for her...what should I do?

Didnt you already do something?....

[view]


wow, I don't really know what category to put this under, so I guess it works under friendship.. kinda. Anyway, I started cutting, I don't know why but I did. I don't want to, but it's really addicting.. 0.o so it's hard for me to stop. Only on of my friends knows and I just met him and I like him alot.. he cuts to, so I feel conferdable talking to him about this.. he doesn't do it so much anymore but I wonder if he is worried about me, I know my step brother is.. he knows to. Well he doesn't really know he just thinks I do it and he knows that I have a BiG possibatly of doing it.
When I look at my scares.. I cry, and I think 'is this really who I am?? is this really me??' cause I don't seem like this kinda girl who would do this.. I am real caring and nice and funny.. so I don't get it.. how do I stop.. do you have anything to tell me about what I wrote? just anything, please.. I wana stop.
--Thanks.--
--I rate all 5s--

You did it because you're a stupid idiot who wants attention. You like to try and make yourself feel bad and you cry over it because you're a baby. You started because you are a pathetic moron. Stop wanting attention and deal with what you have.

[view]


ok i had a best friend rachel and we were the bestest of friends then one terrible day she moved and we kept in touch but then she moved to indianna and she never called when she was in indianna and me and her havent called eachother since (we werent mad at eachother) i miss her so much i had a dream i met her again, and i was crying when i found out it was a dream i need help please! i will rate 5's on advices that arent mean!

Hmm, you cant be helped. She moved on without you. There is not way you can get her number. She of course has yours, just hasnt called you.

[view]


When does the "cycle" usually become regular?!?! Mine keeps coming at random times and now, it's not coming at all! The last time I got it was February 24???

You're probably pregnant...

[view]


Hi, I'm going on a vaction in 3 weeks and I was woundering if you could loose 15 pounds in that short amount of time. If so can you please tell me what exercises to do.

Exercise shoving your fingers down your throat.

There really isnt any SAFE way to do it.

[view]




<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker