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help it harder than i thought.
im 16 and had a baby 3 months ago today.my mum and dad are strict catholics and demanded that me and my baby)s father to get married.well me and the babys father split. so my mum and dad were like "i told u so". i left home and moved into a council flat.i have got exams this yaer and im finding it so hard.even tho i have paid childcare thoughtout the day im so tired to do anything.my mum said that i had her and so shes my responsability.im getting desperate now and even thought about adoption.has anyone got any good advica on how to cope. the last thing i want to do is say to my mum that she was right.sorry its long.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I have been where you are. The only difference is
my boyfriend didn't bail out on me. You have a very tough road ahead of you if you decide to keep the baby.
If you feel you just can't cope with the whole situation, adoption is not a bad thing. Don't concern yourself with who is right or wrong or I told you so's. Those are not whats important here. You need to do some very hard desicion making right now about what is best for the baby and yourself. In order to put the baby up for adoption, you will also need the babys fathers permission. You will have to get with him and do some talking. It would also be nice to have your mom's imput. If she is approachable you should at least try to mend fences with her too. It is your decision in the end though and not hers...keep that in mind.
If you decide to keep the baby, the first thing to do is get a GED. Forget the whole school thing. That life is more or less over for you.
I would be more than happy to give you what advice I can along the way, just drop me a question anytime. Do some serious thinking. :)
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i read some of the advice given to you and most of it was good saying that you should go to your mom and talk to her tell her that your sorry and that you need her help, like someone else said your her responsibility and she just cant leave you either, do NOT pu your baby up for adoption, a baby needs its mother, and if you want your baby to not be in this mess when he/she is older then it will be more likely for him/her not to be if you keep them. love your baby, thats what it and you need.
for school, study study study and relax take a break or a vacation do something for yourself once in a while
talk to your ex, even if he dosent want to marry you its his problem to and he needs to help you out when you need help
and as for the advice that someone gave you his name was shaken i believe, ignore it TOTALLY IGNORE THAT PERSONS ADVICE.your child is your blessing even if you dont feel like that now,and what they said totally made me feel like crying it was so cruel, you didnt mess you life up like they said and if you work your hardest you will probably be better off in the end than they will,
its whats right and what you know is right
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You can appaligize to your mom and tell her that you're sorry you kinda messed stuff up but DO NOT! put your baby up for adoption...it wont be worth it... you might be having trouble right now but in the future it will be so worth it...try getting back with your boyfriend adn work things out and if not ask him if he can help out with the baby...
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Aaaah, yes another idiot. Well, those exams...you're going to FAIL them because you had sex. Your LIFE is ruined, you'll be a poverty stricken single mother. You'll scare guys off because you have a kid. Of course they arent ready for one of those in their early 20's or late teens. You are screwed over for your life. Im not being ass, im telling you the consequences of what you did.
Now, have the baby go up for adoption. If no one takes your ugly baby, shoot it.
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omg your parents are meen no affence gawsh!! well that is very sad do yoo have any frends that thier parents might baby sit wille yoo study do not put the baby up 4 adoption becuase there is too amny kids like that !! try to be a good mother and try yor best!
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Okay, I know you dread admitting to your mom that she was right, but you have a baby now, and believe it or not some things your mother says may be something you could learn from. (Whether it's what you want to hear or not)..but I mean she could end up changing her point of view (whether you think so or not) and she may be there for you more than you think. I mean I know the budget may be tight at this time, but like you said you had childcare throughout the day. You can rely on that for now as you get through school and things like that, and having a steady job.
You can do this. It's just a matter of gaining the strength.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
`jessie
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I know exactly what you are going through. I am going to give you my contact info. just in case you need to talk to somebody:
<b>email</b>: shadiggy01@aol.com
<b>AIM</b>: shadiggy01
I too had my first child when I was young. I was only 18. (I got pregnant when I was 17.) Me and my then boyfriend got married when I was about five months pregnant. Your mom is right, your child is your responsibility, but you are your mother's child also, and that makes you her responsibility. I can understand that your parents are upset and disappointed with you, but what's done is done. You can't go back and change it, you have to deal with it now.
<b>First of all</b>, I suggest that you talk to your mom, one-on-one, and tell her that you know you made a mistake, but that you love your daughter and you want to keep her. Let her know that you love her too, and instead of her being so negative towards you, she could at least try to be there for you when you need her the most. Let her know that you are still her daughter, but that you are also human, and like any human you make mistakes. Tell her that you wish that she could accept you and still show her love towards you.
<b>Second</b>, I suggest you get in touch with the babies father, and talk to him. Let him know that he helped make her, and he needs to help take care of her. He needs to babysit her sometimes so you can study, get some rest, or have some free time to yourself. Let him know that babies aren't free. That they require food, clothing, diapers, and that he needs to contribute. If you can, try to speak to some kind of counselor about putting him on child support. He has to take responsibility for his actions too, not just you.
I am not sure exactly what a council flat is, but it sounds like you have it rough. You are on your own at 16 with a young baby. I can only imagine how stressful and hard that is. Do you have friends that are willing to come over for a few hours a day a couple times a week to help you out? Do you have other family members that are willing to lend a helping hand?
This first year is going to be a hard time for you, I know this. But you have to have faith that you are going to make it through it. Prayer helps.
I wish only the best for you and your daughter, and contact me if you need some more advice, someone to talk to, or just a friend.
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First off..im 16, and I have a 4 month old. I KNOW that it is hard. And it was even harder for me, because I was raped..and damn near everyone told me to get an abortion, because it will mess up my future. But I knew that having an abortion would be wrong so I went through with it.
The thing that kept me going is that I knew that by raising the best child ever, I was proving everyone wrong that told me something negative about having my baby. You just have to be strong. Thats really the only thing I can say. I mean, if I can do it, you can to. I'm only in the 11th grade, and I have 2 jobs. plus school work, and all that other sh*t that goes with it. Just tell yourself that you can do it. DONT even think about adoption as an option. Prove your mom wrong. That baby was brought to you for a reason. Thats what I tell myself also. God would never give you responsibility over something HE KNEW would be to much for you. It's just up to you to believe that.
(i know its long--sorry!)
mcalways@msn.com ---email me when u get a chance!
=)
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ok you made so bad decsions real bad go to court and demand that your x pays child support next try a day care so you can go to school ok and then the concil your living with see how long you can live with them i think that you should get a job try a over the phone job like the kind that sales magizines somthing like that well good luck and you should have thought ahead but the past is the past and you should get on with your life
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first i just want to say that im sooo proud of you... you didn't take the easy way out and get an abortion... i think you should make a planner... like set certain times of the day when you are going to study.. and then set certain times when you will play with your baby... maybe all you need to do is tell your mom she's right... don't waste years not talking to her when you can have her there helping you with your baby and watching your baby when you have to study and do stuff for school and yourself... hope everything works out for you
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omg fair play to you!unfortunantly ur mum was right and they always are im afraid!but plse dont give her up for adoption,i was put up for adoption wen i was a baby and ive always wanted to know who my real parents were.although i have the most amazing parents now!dont do anything rational talk to someone you trust who knows the situation and they should help.hope i halped.
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yea that is the last thing you would want to say to her. but she was right. you know that. the best thing to do would be to find some time to sit down and talk to your mom about it. say " mom. i understand that i made a big mistake. but this baby isnt the bad guy here. i am . i cant have him grow up horribly because i can barely balance him with my school work. i really need your support and help right now" or something like that. hope everything works out
<3 kayla
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