Gender:
FemaleLocation:
NYOccupation:
Residential Associate/ College StudentAge:
21Member Since:
July 28, 2004Answers:
2046Last Update:
March 30, 2010Visitors:
105451Favorite Columnists
foxrider140
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Friendship
Love Life
View All
about
advice
The country that I live in is debating the Death Penalty. I Do not understand the understanding that the death penalty is ok. You are killing someone still aren't you? I realize that the people scentenced are usually murderers and other things along that line. I just want to know both sides of the story. I looked it up on Google and it is not what i am looking for. I want opinions on BOTH side.
This has always been a very controversial situation. I look at it this way :
Immagine your the parent who lost their young daughter to a sick man who raped and killed them. There are so many sick sick cases out there, and i beleive the killers desserve to die for what they did. If you look up crime cases and read the stories of the sickest murderers out there, maybe you'll see it in the eyes of the famillies who lose their loved ones to a sicko. The killers are people too, but to do something like that and then get to go to jail, isnt fair. In jail theres plenty to eat, you get to go outside for rec, and you can watch tv on weekends (conditions vary but my dad works in a prison) So basically your being taken care of by the state and you still get to see YOUR loved ones, while the person you killed gets none of that.
Well all have a difference in opinon, and the death penalty will remain controversial for a long time. Theres my side, hope i helped
-melissa-
Me nad this girl emily are kidna frends, we recentl ogt into a fight. She is having a sleepover for girl scouts on SAt and i odnt on if i should go. Will it be unfortibale, HELP
13
Alex
You might not think so..but i think by saturday you ad emily can clear things up. Try talking to her about the fight and tell her you want to forget everything and have a good time on saturday night. Try that..and if shes mean to you about it..then give her some time to cool down and come talk to you.
ok.. me and my boyfriend of 10 mths broke up.. its almost been a month.. and im still totally in love with him.. ive told him.. and he knows.. i think he might like me again too.. so i was wondering.. if the next time we hug as "friends" should i kiss him on the cheek? or do i show him any type of emotion towards me wantin him back, or should i just act like friends with him?
*Madinga*
Kissing him on the cheek might take him by suprise, but you know what..i think its a good idea. at first i was thinking maybe you shouldnt., but its a gutsy move that will give him the picture that you want him back. Try it and see what happens. If things stay quiet..and nothing happens..try getting a guy friend to talk to him maybe.
what does 69 mean????? thanks!! i was just wondering
69 is a sexual act performed between a guy and a girl. Either the guy or the girl lays down. Lets say the guy lays down. So the girl would lay over him so her vaginal area is by his mouth..while she gives him head. While shes giving him head, the guy is eating herr out. And that is what 69 is.
-melissa-
ok this is weird for me just to say out of nowhere, but i'm Mexican. ok where do i start? ok, my parents are kind of racist. they are always making fun of my white friend (of course not in front of her face) and think my other friend is weird just because she is black. my other friend is asian and they don't want me to be her friend. actually, my whole school is full of racist kids and they think a lot of the same things as my parents, since about 90% of my school is mExican. anyway, its not just my friends, my parents are totally judging everything i do and say i'm turning into some kind of white girl or something. when i lsten to rap songs, they tell me "dont be listening to those black songs. they use bad language and send the wrong message to people." i get really mad at my parents for being like that, but they tell me its for my own good and they want me to stay mexican. does that make any sense to you? because i don't get it at all. i guess what they mean is that, since i learned english when i was 3, listen to almost all english songs, and almost never speak spanish, they think i'm forgetting my roots, but that is sooo not true!!! it's not like i can just stop being mexican! anyway, they are trying to get me to be "more mexican" by pushing away eveything else and being racist. the other day i was listening to the radio and eminem's "mockingbird" came on and my dad got mad and told me that he doesn't want me listening to that crap. i honestly felt like hitting him...but he's my dad.why are my parents so mean and racist and am i really to blame for "not being a real mexican"?
No of course your not to blame for "not being a real mexican" according to your parents. All of this is your parent's problem..how they are racist..and they put it on you which isnt fair at all. There are a few ways you can deal with this
(A) Talk to your parents and tell them ..its one thing if they are going to be racist..but your a seperate person and you arent racist. Tell them they can associate with who they want..but when you have friends over they need to be respectful. Tell them you dont want to hear any more racist remarks because you dont thnk its right. Ask them "dont you want to know whats going on in my life? who my friends are,what i listen to, my girlfriends, who im with, etc??" LEt them know if they arent going to control their racism then you will have to shut them out of your social life. They wont get to see your dates,friends, etc.
(B) After talking to them if it doesnt work, then i guess you can work around them. Maybe only invited mexicans over..and when you hang with your other friends..go to their house or go to the movies or something.
Its a sucky situation your in..but you DEFINATEEY arent to blame. This is a problem your parents have..although i know how much you want to hit them and scream at them...it wont do anything. You just have to deal with their racism (unless that talk works) and you just remember your your own person and im happy that just because they are racist..you arent.
-melissa-
ok sooo u seem pretty good with advice.... my boyfriend and i have been dating for over 7 months now and we are sooooo happy!!! I think we will be ready have sex sometime within our one year and i feel pretty ready. Im a little scared... and im kinda inmsecure about it though... like hes really skinny and small 5'7 and 130 pounds and i weigh around 120-140 ( not positive b/c my mom wont let me have a scale in my room from a previus time when i had an eating disorder) and im 5'4-5'5 im happy how i am but my mom keeps telling me we dont look right together and i look too fat near him, i have started to loose weight so i look more fit and im perfectly happy how i am. shes overweight and always tells me to watch it when i eat, but if im not hungry makes me eat breakfast anyway. Its really weird.... shes really mean and my BF knows about it and knows im scared about having sex b/c im scared to be naked around him and he will think im fat like my mom said, but i feel really beautiful around him. My mom doesnt want me having sex because she says if i have a future with someone else ill regret it. i honestly dont care about my future with someone else right now, he makes me so happy and tries so hard to make me feel so good about myself, (i havnt started back on my eating disorder for about six months and i struggled with this and cutting myself on and off for like 2 years) like everyone knows where going to make it... im jsut scared that maybe my mom is right that if i do have sex it wont be with the right person or that hes going to think im fat... what do u think, i know im not overweight but i feel weird being average when hes like skinny advice please??? 15/f
its even more awkward now because hes a surfer and whenever i wear a bathing suit my mom tells me i need to loose like 20 pounds or i cant go out in that bathing suit... i honestly think shes whats stopping me from having sex but he makes me happy and she doesnt so shouldnt i follow my heart and do what i want without worrying about what my mom says???
Absolutely you should follow your heart. What your mom says amazes me. How could she call you fat and that you need to lose 20 lbs? Thats horrible. I understand the point she made that maybe he wont be the right person..but the remarks she made about how she thinks your fat is horrible. Your an average girl! Your not fat like i am..but your not a tookpick either. Dont worry about how your bf is a skinny guy. He loves you and i bet he'll love seeing you naked. Having sex is about being comfortable being naked and being positive that you want to do this. You sound like your ready..but not quite. Once your no longer scared of him seeing you naked..and once you definately know hes the one..then you'll be ready. The day you wake up saying "i dont care what my mom says..hes the right one.." then go for it.Sex isnt supposed to feel awkward. If your feeling awkward..dont do it until your confident in yourself that your going to be fine even though hes smaller than you. I think your mother is wrong for telling you your fat..thats such a confidence breaker..it upset me how she tells you your fat.. Well anyway everyone has sex at different times. I cant tell you "no wait until your 18..or until your married" because thats not realistic. Once your ready and you have the right guy, then go for it...follow your heart..and make it special if you go for it. Just remember to use protection and all that.
hey, well i saw you on featured columnist so i am deciding to ask you this.I'll get right down to the point.I know wut sex is but like wut is ORAL SEX? I'll rate you a 5! THANKS!
13/m
Ok im assuming your straught, and im sorry if you arent straight..but here it goes. When you eat a girl out..its performing oral sex. By licking her vagina and clitoris..it gives her pleasure..which is performing oral sex. When a girl gives you head..thats another term used for oral sex. Giving head is when someone (im assuming a girl) sucks your penis. There are skills that are used in giving oral sex..if you want more details on exactly how you eat a girl out..or how someone sucks your penis..then you can go online to askjeeves and look it up..or feel free to write back to me and ask.
-melissa-
Hey! some of you might know already that i am making a power point thing full of memories for my boyfriend. I need some Love quotes guys!! Please help!!
THANKS!!!!!!!
*-KeLs-*
Love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.
- Crystal Middlemas -
There is only one happiness in life,
to love and be loved.
- George Sand -
You know you are in love
when you see the world in her eyes,
and her eyes everywhere in the world.
- David Levesque -
Winter Moonlight
The snow, so peaceful and serene,
caressed by the soft moonlight,
gave magical feelings to the night.
The soft blue glow,
the lovers' words that then did flow,
their lips closer and closer
until, locked in the throes
of a passionate embrace,
he decided to express his feelings,
to keep her safe.
He whispered softly,
his words like music to her ears,
"I Love You,"
and her response the same,
heard like the gentle breeze,
"And I, love you, forever."
That was the night they promised
to be together through everything,
each to care for the other when old and gray
A lovers' pact
the most likely to last.
- Krista J. Mikula -
Love is strong yet delicate.
It can be broken.
To truly love is to understand this.
To be in love is to respect this.
- Stephen Packer -
When you love someone,
all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
- Elizabeth Bowen -
These are just some of the amazing quotes and poems i found when i typed in "love quotes" on askjeeves.com I think its so sweet what your doing!
-meliss
Hey Maisa, Whats crackin on the eggs shell? Wanna 1,2, step with me G?...C ya-
From E toda N and S toda M
Yeah these are the people i call my friends lol
funny one sammy
ok hepl me i like this boy and he kinda flirts with me sometimes and other times he ignores me whats going on??
I wish i knew what all men think...but the truth is nobody is a mindreader..so the only real way to find out is to talk to him. Th boy might not want a relationship..he might be confused. SO if i were in your situation..i would talk to him. Online is the easiest way to talk to someone if you dont like talking to them in person. Good luck!
-meliss
O.K please help and fast... my mom has the flu and shes throwing up and stuff... what do i do? is there anything i can give her that will help her feel better?!? (not medicane) please help!
*i rate*
soup and teas. But if your mom is throwing up..she might not be able to keep that down. She might have to go to the hospitol if she cant get in to her doctor. When you throw up..the body loses fluids which is dangerous. The best thing for her would be to see a doctor or go to the Er or something. Then, when she stops throwing up..bed rest,peace,soup,and tea is a good idea.
-meliss
Alright, I came to the realization that I love this guy that I have been friends with for nearly 5 years. He lives a couple of hours away from me so we talk on the phone. My question is, should I tell him that I love him? Would it freak him out? Would it make things wierd? Should I tell him why I love him? Im in a biit of a spot right now. All comments are well appreciated. Thank you so much.
~Nokomis~
Well..immagine how you would feel if you kept it bottled up that you love him. It would drive you nuts. You would think to yourself "what if he loves me too?" All the "what ifs" would drive you off the wall. Trust me because i've been in your type of situation before. For years you would drive yourself crazy if you never told him. And what if he calls you to say "hey guess what? i have a new gf!" then a year later he might be calling to say "we're getting married!" Dont let that happen! It doesnt have to be today..but within the next week gather all your courage up and speak from your heart. Wouldnt you rather him tell you "im sorry..i only see us as friedns" than not knowing at all? Everyone fears being turned down..but if he turns you down..at least you tried. Lots of luck with all that..i hope it works out..write to my box if theres anything else i can do....
-meliss-
As my title says, my friends tend to be really mean to me. We had a free Spanish period today because there was a substitute, and they ignored me the whole time. They were making plans to go shopping for bathing suits, and go snowboarding with each other, and didn't ask me to join them. One of my friends just randomly tells me to shut up, and she thinks it's just a joke. They tell each other stuff and don't tell me, and then they talk about it right in front me. Basically, they treat me horribly, and I really don't need it from them. What am I supposed to do??
They really do sound snobby. I think that there has to be a group of nice caring people who will let you in their circle of friends. SO..i would make new friends if i were in your position because who wants to feel bad like that? Join a group of nice girls who will appreciate your friendship. Friends come and go..in the case your mean friends need to go. so keep positive and try to think of a group of nice girls..there has to be a couple right? Well ask them a question about w/e in class..maybe make a joke about the teacher..or something..then ask "wanna come to the movies this weekend?' Once you guys hang out once..i bet you'll immidiately click and from there on out..you have new friends who appreciate you :)
-melissa-
ok my boyfriend invited me over to his house to watch a movie and his parents were not home. and about half way in the movie he leaned over and kissed me and we started making out and them he took all of my clothes off and we started having sex it was so much fun!!! My friends were all asking what happend at his house should i tell them?
Well..sex is a private and emotional matter. If you feel comfortable telling them..then go ahead. If it were me..i would tell one person..two at the most. This way if runors got around i would know exactly where they started from. I know you may want to tell a group of 6 or 7 frinds..but thats dangerous..because one of them might tell one of their good friends..and trust me stuff gets around very quickly. I've seen people get embarassed because of rumors n it really messes them up. So if your anxious to spill about it all..only tell 2 really close friends who you can trust. If you feel that you dont want to tell anyone..thats perfectly fine too. You can just say "we made out and thats all."
Im a virgin..but if i were in your place i would probably end up telling one or 2 really close friends.
A girl in my group of friends who i HATE is moving ..all my friends are like crying but i cant wait till she moves -is this wrong of me? Im kind of confused and its hard to keep it from my friend but i know if i told them i was happy theyd think i was a bitch ..what do i do??
its perfectly natural to feel happy about it. I know you and your friends might be close, but you dont have to tell them everything you feel. Just try and support the friends who are crying while thinking to yourself "ah yes victory at last."
-meliss
Okay this is all very confusing, I'm sorry and I hope it doesn't make ya'lls head spin but here is my problem.
I made out with a guy totally unaware that he had a girlfriend.
Well recently, I got in contact with his brother, and she was over there. I mentioned something to his brother about us making out, in jest. She got on and immediatly asked me if whatI say is true.
I said, yes. It was. I wasn't gonna lie.
She told me that they'd been dating for three years straight, and she thought she might be prengnat. HE told me nothing of the sort, that she was just a friend.
After much hassle, she called me and told me she'd confront him about it. She did, and he denied it, and she told me "I don't believe you, I trust him."
Things are blowing up, random friends of hers are IMing me like crazy, and his brother is sort of half and half beleving me, yet feeling dedication towards his brother.
Of course the whole attention thing is on them..its oh "Krista* made a big deal about it.." "OH krista is trying to ruin a relationship" when that totally wasn't my view or anything.
How can I help what she saw? I think its been hurting me more then it has them. What do I do?
I want a logical way to get back at them, or to show them that I don't give two dead rats.
I want the girlfriend to know that it IS true no matter how much he denies it, though it doesnt matter much to me if we messed around or not.
HELP!
xxthanksxx
OK if your really determined.. i got something for you.
(Choice 1) Get a tape recorder..or a video camera (preferabley something small) Invite the guy over and purposely lead him on while the videocamera or tape recorder is taping.If you want you could even say to him while your stroking his hair,etc. "remember that night you kissed me? it was like heaven" and after you put on a good show and get him to admit everything..and he goes home..there you go..you have evidence!
(Choice 2) Invite her to your house to witness him firsthand. Have her hide in a closet or somewhere. When he comes over..do the same thing you would do if you did the video camera idea and there you have it..once again you've proven yourself.
(Choice 3) Maybe have an IM conversation or email convo online..and print out the convo with him talking about how you guys kissed.
-hope it works out-
-meliss-
SORRY THIS IS LONG..ILL GIVE A 5 TO ANYBODY WHO ANSWERS THIS!! THANX!!
me and my friend have been best friends since 8th grade...were now in 12th grade and as the school year is coming to an end and were going to be graduating i feel like now is the chance that we need to hang out and reminice on our inside jokes and everything. the problem is..she has a fiance..she is 18 yrs old n has only been going out with this kid for 4 months... they spend every minute of there lives together and its like there is no need for me anymore. Well i've talked to her about this so many times i've decided to just give up. So i started to just hang out with my other friends. Well all of a sudden she said to me "it feels like were not friends anymore" and i said well why do you feel like that and she said " because we dont talk alot n stuff". Well the thing is everything i try n talk to her she just says oh were still friends and goes on her way. Everytime i try and hang out with her it's either oh im doing something with Russ tonight (thats her fiancee) or its well u can hang out with us if u want. I dont want to be the third wheel..yes i have a boyfriend but she doesn't like him so what am i supposed to do about that? im trying to please everyone but its not working. And when i try to just hang out with her and just me and her its like her fiancee gets all mad at me and everything. I really don't know what to do!!! can someone please help!!?
If her fiance was a good guy maybe he will talk to her and say..."hang out with your friends tonight..you guys have some catching up to do." You've been working really hard to make everyone happy..but its your senior year! Theres only one of those..so you gotta live it up! What im saying is..take one more shot at this by talking to her fiance..or having someone whos close to you and her fiance to talk to him. Maybe he'll realize that she needs to get out with her friends..and i think she'll listen to him if he says "go ahead and hang out with your friends." I've seen it happen to many times...girls just dont know how to balance a guy and their friends..and when they break up..the girl goes running back to her friends. You've done your job by trying to get her to hang out with you..after you make one more attempt by talking with her fiance..i would give it a rest. Hopefully she'll come around and listen..if she doesnt and she deicdes to neglect your friendship..its her choice (which is the wrong choice) She'll regret it later..but in the mean time..make sure you hang out with your other friends and have the time of your lives!
-melis
1) is it best to learn one foreign language at a time? or can i try to learn 2 at a time (japanese and spanish) ?
2) what foreign language would be more applicable/useful as a future nurse (or future stewardess) ?
3) is it enough to learn on-line (from all the free on-line lessons) , or should I enroll in a language course in a school?
4) pls give me tips on learning a new language =)
and maybe on how to improve my memory
thank you! =)
1. I would definately stick to one language at a time...especially since spanish and japanese are so different from one another.
2. Spanish is a rapidly growing language (especially in the US) Its the 2nd most spoken laguage in the us. (im not sure where you are now) A spanish speaking nurse is always good..especially in california where nurses are desperately needed. for a stewardess..either is good...japanese is better if you will be working or being a stewardess who travels back and forth to Japan.
3. I think learning it in school is a good idea..but then again i have never takenan online course. Try it out..and if it doesnt work..enroll into a course in school. Thats what im doing for french and its working well.
4. Flashcards flashcards and more flashcards for learning the l;anguage and improving your memory. Especiallly if you use bright colors on the cards. Studying a foreign language takes studying..so studying for 20 minutes each night before bed will help with your memory as well
Have fun!
-meliss
OKay...i am 15....I had my first period in Nov of 2004....and i started my period yesterday...this has never happend to me before...but...When i go pee...i bleed too....why is that???? like...i bleed more than i pee...and the blood is all gooey and chunky...i hope non of u think im weird...im just really nervous...because this has never happend to me before..
thanks girls
Menstrating is the vaginal wall shedding. The gooey stuff is actual pieces of the walls being shed. Its completely normal and im sorry if i grosssed you out
-meliss
All you girls out there...
I am kind of shy, but am trying to be more outgoing, which I am finding easier and easier. Usually when I like a guy, they have no clue, but I would like to change that. What are the best ways to flirt? If you could tell me some of your favorite flirting moves I would appreciate it. Any little flirty gesture or something that always works for you?
And for you guys out there, what kind of things do you love when a girl does? What is the best ways for a girl to flirt in you opinion? How do you like a girl letting you know she is interested in you?
Please keep in mind that I am kind of reserved, so please don't tell me to go up and grab his butt or something, thats not really my style. Thank you so much in advance for your advice!
When i like a guy i make eye contact. Thats my thing. Looking him in the eyes kind of lets him know. Looking him in the eyes,smiling,complementing him. A good thing to do is to say "i like your eyes." (i guess you can see im an eyes person lol) While doing this i always stay myself. I like this way of flirting..because your not throwing yourself at him..like rubbing up on him...but its giving him the point that you llike him. If he doesnt seem to be catching on..have a close guy friend say to him "you know..i think 'put your name in' likes you"
Hope that helped
-meliss