icey0990's advice column | Page 73

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

NY

Occupation:

Residential Associate/ College Student

Age:

21

Member Since:

July 28, 2004

Answers:

2046

Last Update:

March 30, 2010

Visitors:

105489

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

Work/School Relationships

about

advice

okay- so heres what I see.

I see all of thse girls, and some guys, asking about Sex. will I get pregnate this way, what about this.

and i always answer saying, you should wait, what if you get pregnate, and a whole bunch of stuff to think about like money parents will he leave you- just to name a few.

then the rest of the questions i see are either:
i think i am pregnat, we used a condom and it broke, i dont want to tell my parents, what should i do.

or

i got pregnat and my boyriend left me.

its so horrible!!

I dont believe in Sex before marrage or abortion!!

anyone follow me and agree with me on this??

anything else- leave on in my inbox!!

-Kels-

I used to always think "no sex before marriage" im still a virgin..but what if when i get older i change my mind? if im a responsible adult maybe i will have sex before marriage. I definately beleive in..no sex until you can handle it.
As for abortion..it hurts to think about a mother killing her baby..but think about the girls and women who are raped. its not like they werent ready/didnt feel like the consequences. So i support abortion there.
Well there are my opinions..please dont rate low because you may not agree

I have a little issue see I get turned on by gurls. I basically grew up around guys and i always heard them sya damn look at that a.s.s. or she got a nice rack and I always ignored it like why do i want to hear this now when I ee a gurl i think the same excact thing i wonder what she looks like naked, what tricks she can do, just things that I would think about wit a guy. I have never done anything with a gurl and want to experiment but I am scared because i dont know how to approach a gurl to let her know. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!? And could you give me some hints on what to do when you are with a gurl do you do the same things you do with a guy and are there any special tricks?

need some help

It would be hard to find someone to experiment with. Your too young to go to a gay bar, and it would be very hard to approach your best friend and tell her..hoping she would experiment with you. iF you have AIM you can make up a new sn and IM the girls you want to experiment with. Tell them you go to their school..and you want to know if they would. If you get talking and it looks like they are serious..come clean that its you..and experiment with them. I dont plan to..never have..been with a girl so i cant help you there..but there are a million websites out there that can help you with "technique"

Hi im 13 female and i wanted to know if any one my age knows how i can earn $3000 dollars (three thousand dollars) i live in florida close to mims i need to earn money but dont know how.. i want to earn money for a horse and my grandpa said that if i get $3000 than i can get one. so i need help i rate 5's thanks
hopeful one

Well..your only 13 so your job options are limited due to child protection laws. You can only work certain job and a certain amount of hours per week. I beleive it varies depending on what state you live in. Ask a family member what your minimum wage is for florida,whats floridas laws about working, etc. When your 16 (in ny at least) more job opportunities open up to you. Your able to work in fastfood places, etc. So after researching what kind of jobs your able to have..13 might be too young..its too young in ny to have a job at 13. Until your done researchign, try babysitting,mowing peoples lawn, etc. If you work hard..5 days a week of babysitting..making about $150 per week..you can make roughly $450-600 per month. Which means in one year you would have about $5400-7200. Thats a nice chunk of change..which means you dont have to babysit 5 days a week all the time.
Ever think of becoming a party planner? You can put up flyers in the neighborhood and i bet you'll get some calls! even if someone calls you and asks you to plan their little 5 year old's party., its a job right! So if you like planning things, try that.

i had my first real boyfriend last year and we got really serious, we said we loved each other and we did it lasted about 6 months but he moved, and i never thought i wouldnt be able to get over him like this or would miss him this much, its been like a year sence we broke up, and i still miss him bad, how do i get over him?

lost in love

..i feel your pain...same thing happened to me..only he moved like 6 months after we broke up. This might sound pathetic but its been 2 yrs since we broke up and over a year since he moved..but i still miss him too. Time makes it a lot better. I still miss him..but its not the kind of miss where i cry over him or get depressed about it. So try hangin with friends..going out..keeping busy..and over time it will get easier.

One of my teachers is always making fun of the students. I know it is just in good fun but 2 girls started crying over this. Should i tell someone or just let him go on making fun of everyone?
Please i need help!

definately tell another teacher or the principal..maybe the guiy who makes fun of those girls doesnt realize hes hurting their feelings.

i was at my mates party last nite in secret(i told my mum that i was staying at my mates to study)so my boyfrend came and met me,he took me for a drive in his new car we ended up crashing we rolled over a bush and ended up upside down. i had cut on my hand and just told my mum i fell but its really painful i think theyer mite be glass in it.i cant go to the hosp cos she werks there.what can i do?

If you cant go to the doc..i would go to the ER instead. They can help you out there.

I just got my period (i've had it for 2 years) and i noticed that in my pad the blood was dark black instead of red/maroon like it usually is. What does this mean??? its dark dark black. Am i dehydrated or sumthing?

was it dark black at the end of your period? i've heard thats normal if thats the case. if it was dark black for the whole time..inbox me and i'll see what i can research for you. You could try google.com to research it too. But i think its normal

Well, I'm not exactly sure how to put this, because I doubt this question has been asked on here before. I have this boyfriend, and its a long distance relationship, I live in Oklahoma, and he lives in New York,I've known him for more than a year, and we met online, yes, this sounds unbelievably stupid of me, but trust me, I am not a girl who falls for a guy quickly. So, I've met his parents over the phone, seen his family on web camera, and hes sent lots of pictures. So, after we fell in love, now, to give some background, I've never felt this much in love before, I waited a year to start talking about personal things. We started getting, well, really really close. You know, we started to talk about sex, and whether we were virgins or not, and then, it got farther. It took me a while to get into it, but we started to talk a little dirty over the phone, I felt it was wrong because I'm only 15, but I went through with it because my other 4 sisters had been like this with guys at a young age. Not that I wanted to be like them, the main reason was I really loved him, and it truly felt right. But, lets just say that it went farther, farther than any of my sisters have went on the phone, I know its pathetic to freak out about going far on a phone with a guy, but heres the point. I am thinking that my family knows, which is really bad. My sister had made some rude comment mentioning it, and my mom was talking to me about it. She was saying that it one thing to be talking nasty things on the phone, but any farther than that is to the point where any of me or my sisters should not ever be able to talk that guy again. I love my boyfriend so much, I cry and get horrible chills at night, thinking hes going to be taken away from me, so I made a decision to stop talking this way on the phone. But, I have 2 questions.

1-Do you think people suspect or know?

2- Do you think doing this with him was wrong? And can anyone give me some advice what to do?

Also, I've already told myself that I won't go down the path of having sex at 15, I truly think that this was a better way to express our hormones, and if we met, we would continue expressing it this way until we were old enough. Please make note of that.

Sorry for the length of this question, but ratings are promised to you.

~*Carissa*~

if a family member made a comment to me AND my mom talked to me about it..i would really think they were on to something. Ask them why they are talking to you about this..whats making them talk to you about it. maybe they are just talking to you about it because they knoww its the next step in an online relationship.
My opmminoon is that it isnt wrong because everyone has hormones and feelings. Its not like you had sex with him..so i think its ok.
What i would do next is talk to your mom about why shes talking to you about the talking dirty on the phone thing. If your mom tells you "well because i know what you've been doing" I knoww you would be embarassed but just tell her you experiemented and your done now. If you want to keep doing this with him..make sure nobody is around! Dont be afraid of losing him..he probably loves you just as much as you love him.
-melissa-

ok ..here goes i have this really sweet boyfriend , me and him have been going out for a little over 5 months! i love him so much ! but,the thing is , that there is this boy at my church who really seems to like me and every time i look at him i can't help but smile for some reason , i don't know why but for some odd reson i think i might sort of like him! even though i hadn't even talked to him yet ! after church he waits for me to talk to me and for the last 5 weeks i have done a pretty good job of avoiding him even though i want too talk to him so bad!!!

for some odd reason i think it might be better with him because he is closer to my age and my boyfriend is about to graduate! but i only see that dude at my church once a week! and i am not saying that i want to break up with my boyfriend !
what are my feelings saying to me?
-twisted in too

your feelings are telling you maybe its time for a change for the better. When your bf graduates its going to be really hard to keep the relationship up. Although you only see the other boy at church, you could definately arrange to hang out some time. So its a big choice you have to think about..maybe make a list of positives and negatives for each. It might be a good idea to break up with your current bf being that hes going to graduate. Maybe its time to start a new chapter in your romance life ..thats only for you to decide. After you make your list you might see that you really want to stay with your current bf. Try the list idea out..if it doesnt work leave a question in my inbox.

there is a new girl in my class and she is taking over my friends. my friends act like they dont want me around anymore.what should i do?

just talk to your friends about how its concerning you. have a talk with them and say "we're still best friends right?" Hopefuly they will reassure you and make you feel better. Arrange for the new girl and everyone to hang out..and hopefully all you guys will become friends. So try and be friendly with the new girl also..it could work out to be a good friendship!

I'm not going through this but it's out of curiousity.
Some girl told me that she was cutting but that she was only leaving marks in her skin and wasn't getting right down to where it would start bleeding BUT where she marked her self after became swollen for a couple of days and was a red bump.
I asked someone about it and they said it was perfectly safe and should be happy she's doing that rather than actually cutting and someone else told me it's not AS dangerous but she could still do some harm to her self.
I didn't really understand how she could really hurt her self by making marks in her skin that later turned in to bumps so can anyone explain it a bit and/or tell me which person is correct.
thanks :)

woah whoever told you its fine is wrong! its still self inflicting your body and she does it because shes insecure ..something is goin on with her mentally. its NOT ok..ways that are ok to take the place of cutting is to write poems,hit a punching bag..talk to someone , etc. Itss bad to do that because if we were meant to have red bumps all over..we would have them . Red bumps is a type of injury..no its not a deep cut..but still..its self infliction. its NOT ok to do that.
hope i helped
-meliss

ok im confused at school i get made fun of alot because im smart. well normally i just bottle it up and dont do anything because im weak but what i have noticed is sometimes i will get so pissed off that if anyone who hasnt even done anything to me so much as slightly bothers me i blow up at them. i guess i just want to know how can i channel my anger more so at the ppl who piss me off because i hate blowin up at my friends but i cant blow up at the ppl that make fun of me cause im weak as shit and im just confused i dont know wut to do can someone please help me..

you blow up at people who dont do anything to you..because your holding your anger in.So if the people who bother you..do it again..tell them to STOP or say "im sick of you bothering me'" or something. You will feel more releived and happy..so you wont blow up and innocent people. These losers who make fun of you for smarts..tell them your happy your smart because smart people go far in life..get in a good college..and have a good future. So tell them making fun of you for being smart is pretty dumb because smarts get you far in this country.

Augh. My best friend is still stuck getting over this total jerk that she fell in love with. I kind of feel like it's my fault because I introduced them. So I have to help her get over him. Should I run through her room burning all the things that remind her of him? Should I knock her senseless and take her to a male nudie bar? What should I do? He was so mean. I can't even begin to explain it. But I'll try. She found out later that he had another girlfriend on the side. He was rude and mean to me and AUGH! How can I help her get over him? (She's eighteen)

male nude bar sounds like a fun girls night out to get her to enjoy herself. It might be too soon to try and hook her up with another guy..but if shes willing..try that. Maybe get a bunch of friends and go to a club,movie,mall, etc. Sometimes me and my friends flirt with random guys at like the movies or the mall..its tons of fun. its not anything like "go out with me" its just fun to flirt with them. maybe plan a small road trip..go wild at a party..little stuff like that can really cheer a girl up.

I'm a girl, and a senior in small, rural high school. Classes are small, and I’ve been here since I was little, so I know everyone.

Normally I go to my school's dances with my best friend, from another school, and we hang out with my friends and dance. Usually, if she’s not there, I have an awful time. This year, both our proms fall on the same day--a month and a half from now. This means we can't go together. I’ll be alone there. I mean, I’ll have friends at Prom, but most of them with graduated, left town, drifted away from me, or found boyfriends.

There are a few options. I could always ask an underclassman to go to the dance with me, but all the boys at my school always reject me (even underclassmen!), and those who wouldn’t are taken or have moved. I could also tag along with a group, but don’t enjoy myself that much when I do (although, it's better than when I go alone). I would try to “meet new people” but everyone I don’t know will be someone else’s date—there will be less than 100 people at prom.

My prospects outside of school are limited; there's only one guy who would go with me if he could and he's out of state. I don't have any female friends I could tag along with who aren't either annoying or annoyed by me.

Worse, the prom budget this year is almost nonexistent, probably won't be too great, and ticket prices will be high. Further, I haven't found a cheap dress yet, and I’m kinda poor.

Should I even go to prom at all? And if I do, how can I make sure that I’ll have fun?

maybe have your friend try and get a guy to match you up with. if she does it soon..you guys can double date or something to see if you like him. if you like him..have him come to yours..or you go to his..i mean you would have a date and her..so ithink it would be funner to hang with them than being unahppy at your prom. The one guy..if you ask him about it now..maybe he can make it to your prom? i mean you never know right? You should really go to prom! this is something all seniors should go to. To have fun, try and match up with the guy out of state or through your friend who can hook you up..look for prom dress sales. Theres a thrift store 45 mins away from me..is there one by you? I mean get something..even if its from walmart! i found a prom-like dress for $20 one time at fashion bug..so try that. If you cant get the guy from out of state or a date through your friend..then go anyway! When they play upbeat songs..start dancing with a group! at prom everyone is happy and they wont reject you or anythign! and i bet maybe one of your friends dates might slow dance with you if you ask. stuff like that can make your night memorable. Just because you dont go all out on a dress or have a date..you can still party with the people arouund you :)
-melissa-

Does anyone know where I can buy the movie Cheats? It's a pretty old movie and most of my friends haven't heard of it. I'm in love with it, though and I'd really like to find it somewhere.

Thanks

I think i have seen it in walmart..like there is a bin that says 2 for $11 or something and i saw it in there. (its a good movie i love it too)
so try walmart. if not..search online i guess..but i think you will find it there.

all my friends are really pretty. they are all blonde and skinny and rich. im the opposite. im ugly, not good clothes, overweight. everytime i go somewhere like the movies with my friends the guys all want to make out with them and sit with them when they just ignore me. when my friends suggest they makeout with me they pretend to gag and say ewww. it makes me really sad. help! how can i make myself prettier or find a guy who appreciates me? sometimes it feels like i deserve a boy more than the other girls. im a good person and friendly.

hey..im pretty overweight and not that good looking..but i would never make myself pretty..go on crash diets or any kinda diet..for a guy. I mean..when you find a guy who is into..you will know he llieks you for you..not because your skinny or a blondie. All those guys like about those girls is their looks..wouldnt you want your guy to like you for more than that? guys can be shallow at our age..but dont worry..you will meet someone..its soo hard waiting.. ive been waiting too..but the wait will be worth it. Your friends have to worry about "does he like me for me..or just my looks?" and lot of guys our age only look at looks. It will change though..as guys mature and as you meet new people..you will find someone. Thats my honest opinoon..so dont go dressing up, being someone your not..or trying to lose weight..just for a guy. Its not worth it.
-melissa

Well here is the thing. my aunt has what they call Night Terrors. they are like nightmares. Well her husband, my uncle, Doesnt get home from work untill midnight. And my auntjust had a baby. And the doctor said to get more rest. Well she cant get more rest. Because she stays up untill my uncle gets home!!! Please help me on this one!!!!!!! please tell me what my aunt can do!!! Please!!! HELP ME!!!!!

~Karly~

Offer to help..im sure she would appreciate it. Even if you just watch the baby for a couple hours during the day so she can get a nap in..im sure she would love it..maybe sometimes you can stay over until midnight. Any extra rest she can get would be greatly appreciated..so by just heling out a little..it would do a lot for her.

ok well my best friend is/was having a HUGE bday party for herself (shes got a huuuuge house, an amazing pool and her parents said that max was like 60) so yeah everyone looks forward to her partys.. and ya know how it is in high school.. you cant go to a party like this without having someone to "hook up" with.. thats just how it is.. so me and this guy planned to hook up and blah blah blah.. you know how that goes.. well the party kinda got canceled and so now me and this guy are just "talking" about doin stuff like goint to the movies or w.e and "hookinh up" there but the thing is we have been talking a lot now and i think i like him.. (wich i knew this was gonna happen :/ ).. and hes telling ppl he likes me (a little) so thats a high point.. BUT (and theres always a BUT) :/ theres another girl.. that hes like IN LOVE with.. but this girl has a bf and has for a looong time now, but this bf goes to a different school then her so her and this guy i like act like they are together at school, but outa school she just totally ignores him when shes around her bf (gay huh?) and i dont go to the same school as the guy i like or this girl, and ive never met her either but everyone tells me shes really not all that pretty.. so yeah im just wondering.. should i take him out.. just me and him and show him who i really am and try to steal him away from this "other girl" and make him change his mind to want me?.. or what?

definately..once you guys hang out and have a good time at the mall..movies..etc..he will be into you and forget about the other girl. I mean..the other girl has a bf anyway..and once you hang out and stuff..he would like you more and more..so go for it :)

I told my boyfriend that I'd never kissed anyone and that I wanted him to be my first kiss. He said he wanted to kiss me, too. But that was about a month ago and nothing has happened. I told him I wouldn't make the move. I'm too shy. I don't know what I'm scared of since I know he wants to. I'm just scared I'll do something wrong, I guess. Any advice?

I know you might have heard this from other people..and you might want to know an exact way to do it..but really..going with the flow and doing whatever is natural is the best piece of advice i can give. All you need to make sure you do is to have nice smelling breath, and lips that arent chapped. hes probably shy too..althouh guys traditionally are thought to always make the first move..this isnt true! they get shy..and soemtimes the girl needs to steer the guy in the right direction by making the first move. Just try and relax and truist that you wont mess up..you wont be a hollywood kisser..and he wont be either..so dont worry! hes probably worried about messing up too..so try your hardest not to be scared..because hes your bf! he obviously likes you..and wants to kiss you..so go for it..you'll be so happy you did :)

ok well i have this friend call her leah shes 15 and im 14 and the guy joe is 16. ok well leah had a boyfriend who was her age hit her forced her into sex and he did drug her parents found out and she has alot of regrets. well she met this guy named joe hes really cute and nice. he was supposed to come over but never did. leahs really upset thnking hes going to be like her ex she should give joe a second chance he was at the mall instead of coming over what should she do.

signed stuck in the middle

if he was really nice he wouldnt ditch her to be at the mall. Did you talk to him or did she talk to him about it? perhaps theres an excuse? well anyway..i dont know many nice guys who would ditch a girl for the mall. Suggest that if he doenst say sorry or give an explanation, then maybe he doesnt desserve her.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>