Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 34
Member Since: July 15, 2007
Answers: 181
Last Update: June 24, 2009
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DangerNerd
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hey. i'm 13 and i just started getting my period this year. just recently, my last few periods have been making me feel absolutely horrible. i feel as if i need to puke, my back always hurts, and i go to the bathroom alot more often then usual(i'm sorry, i know that's disgusting, but it might help?)
i was wondering if there's anything i can do on my own without going to a doctor, or if this is atleast normal.
please, please, please help me, i feel so sick. (link)
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Midol works wonders!! I highly recommend it. I get a lot of the same symptoms you do and it has been a gift from God! It works quickly too, thank God, because when mine comes on sometimes I'm in so much pain that I can't even walk.
Also, stay off the caffeine- studies have shown that this can make cramps worse.
And you could always try a little pepto bismal for the bathroom thing, might help some. A lot of women get that, so don't be embarrassed.
hope this helps. =)
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ok, i was supposed to get my period the day my boyfriend and i had sex. He didnt use a condom. and kinda cam right as he pulled out. i dont think any got IN me but i know it was on me. could i be pregnant? (link)
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You can get pregnant even when they pull out. There is something like pre-cum that comes out before he orgasms and this can get you pregnant too.
And you can also get pregnant while on your period.
After reading all the posts here, I wish you guys could get some good sex eduction! There are so many myths out there that go around, and they are not true! So please, take the time to educate yourself, and your friends.
plannedparenthood.org is a good place to start learning.
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Ok, I'm sorry, but this question may be a little disturbing to some of you. But I REALLY need some help here. I just gave my boyfriend a blow job, and I'm scarred to death whats going to happen as the results. I really don't want to get herpes. When I came home I brushed my teeth really good and washed my mouth out with water and soap. I know a little paranoid. But I know the symptoms, but are they REALLY visible? Also, how long will it take for me to notice if I by chance do get them? I think they are caused by if your partner has some sort of disease.. but he never told me he had any. If any one can answer this, i'd really appreciate it. Thanks so much! =) (link)
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I'm confused. Why are you afraid of getting herpes? Does he have it? You didn't say that he did. If he doesn't, then I don't think there's any risk of getting it.
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What age do women usually stop having sex? I know there is exceptions, but on average, what would you say? (link)
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Some women never stop having sex. =)
We women are lucky that we don't have to worry about getting it up like guys do. So we can have sex for as long as we still desire it and still have a partner.
Besides, things are different now. There are some women that look great and are fit well into their 60's and 70's. The limit is whatever you decide. Look at Oprah, I'm sure she'll still be having sex 20 years from now.
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ok this is kinda hard to talk about but i was at my friends house the other day and her brother kept like touching me and stuff like not in private areas or anything but yeha so we had to help her brother clean his room and i was sitting on hte floor and i got up and like this sounds really weird btu like he started humping me like a joke or something and he kissed me on the cheak and stuff and he's like a year younger than me and i dont know maybe this is stupid but i keep thinking about it and not like i like him i just didnt really like that and like i keep getting this feeling i cant even describe it it's like i'm really scared or something and yeha i just wanted to know why i keep feeling like this and i really dont like her brother he always pushes me around at her house and stuff and well yeah again this my be stupid but i just want this feeling to go away please help thanks in advance (link)
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First of all, this is wrong. Young guys going through changes and suddenly feeling 'urges' and being totally CLUELESS about what to do about it, sometimes end up trying stuff like this. But their urges and their ignorance are no EXCUSE. And it only makes them look like some kind of animal.
They need to get a grip, and need someone to put them in their place. I wish I was that boy's mother, I'd tell him a thing or two.
But unfortunately, he's probably not the only one you will encounter who might try putting some kind of move on you.
So You will have to learn to keep an eye out for this stuff and how to stand up for yourself. When it happens at first, you are usually so shocked and confused that you don't know what to do.
So be prepared in case something like this (heaven forbid) does ever happen again. Learn To say no, stay away, tell someone, don't hang around them.....however you choose to deal with it. But don't let them get away with this horrible behavior. Even if you a guy, he still has no right to touch you in any way without your permission.
Always remember that!!!!
Nobody had that right. That probably doesn't help much with this particular situation, but knowing this and being prepared might help to prevent it from happening again.
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hey. well, school will be starting in a few weeks, and i'm kinda scared. i'm scared about my classes, the work, and people. first, my classes. i got my school inrolment packet and can't figure out my classes at all! they have them all screwed up because it looks like they are just in random order of semesters. my middle school class schedule was easy. but now i have more classes on my schedule. and i'm scared about not knowing where my where my classes are. and on my middle school schedule it told my locker number and comonation. but it doesn't tell that on the high school one. next, i'm scared about the homework. i've never really been to great at school. i mean, i get a's and b's, but i just find it really hard. and i know that the work in high school will be much harder, and i'll have more of it. and i'm sooo scared of failing. what if i don't undestand it, or don't get it in on time? i can't fail, i just can't. and then people. i hate having so many older kids in one school. and i don't want them to make fun of me. i try not to care what people think of me, but somehow i can never overcome it. and i don't want rumors or anything to be made about me. but probably out of all of those, the thing i'm scared most about is eaither finding my classes and knowing where to go, or the homework. can anyone give me tips on what i can do to overcome some of these things??? i would like advice out of all of these pleaseeee. thank you so much! (link)
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ok, first of all, B-R-E-A-T-H-E!
Geez- you're making me nervous just reading this! You can't worry about everything all at once or you will surely drive yourself crazy!
Yes, I'm sure you'll have a few stumbles here and there, but keep in mind, that SO WILL EVERYONE ELSE. Everybody else is feeling the SAME way that you are right now. I can gaurantee you that. Everyone gets nervous before school starts.
But listen, have you ever heard people talk of something becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? That means that when you think about something a lot, like worry that something will happen, it's much MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN because it's constantly on your mind. So if you're not careful, you can make your own worst nightmares come true! That's why the only way to deal with your nerves is too put them out of your mind as much as possible.
Be confident, if something goes wrong, just laugh it off and move on. The bigger deal you make out of something, the bigger it will become.
Go in there with a confident attitude (even if you're nervous inside- don't show it) and you will be fine.
It would be a lot easier if I could talk to you in person because it's hard to explain all this in an email, but I hope it makes sense and eases some of your concerns.
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Idk if this is in the right the topic thingy. but anywho...
My period is like normally 10-12 days long and some times like 14-16 days. It is horrible. I have asked my doctor and shes told me its because i am "new" to it. but i have had it for like 3-4 years. not extactly "new". but i have told her(my doctor) that i have passed out before because i am losing sooooo much blood. IDK what to do. no one will do anything about this.
(not even my mom who has the same problem and is on B.C. and won't let me use her B.C until the Doctor says its ok!)
WHAT DO I DO??????? (link)
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Yes, I think you should try to see about bc which will cut the amount of time of your periods.
But also, make sure you are taking IRON, when you lose blood, you are losing iron. This can also make you weak and lose energy, can even lead to anemia.
Keep in mind vitamin c is needed for iron to be absorbed. So maybe taking an iron pill with orange juice, or broccoli with lemon squeezed on it, something like that is the best way to be sure that the iron is abosorbed.
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i need some more ideas of hot guys to google for my locker. if anyone has any ideas please let me know.
thanx.
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guys that i like:
jude law- i thought i was going to die in that movie, what was it called? enemy at the gates or something?
ashton kutcher
beckham's not bad
the young robert downey jr. (probably before your time- but trust me, he was HOT)
chris angel is pretty hot too- the magic guy, do you ever see his show?
that's all i can think of for now.
:)
Hey, how can you ask someone for ideas on hot guys and then you rate them a 3 or 4??? That's really uncool. Everyone has a different idea of who's hot and who's not, you may not agree with their answer, but if they are honeslty trying to help I think you should give them all a 5.
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I am feeling lost, I am trying to keep my postives and self exteam good. but lathy I been down and about. I been praying alot. but nothing seem to work, thing is that. i am 22 years old, and I haven't have a job yet or trying get my ssi the 4th time. and i dont have alot of friends hang out with. i love my family very much but everybody busy doing work, i try to enjoy my self and try do what i want to do. but can't seem to do it. i mean i am 22 years old but a about a 12 or 15 year old body.. I not immture at all.. but thing is that i don't dive and becouse of my disbities.. and thing is that i lost my self exteam last summmer. thing is my friend and yet she went collage and had a roomate who treated me so bady online. i didn't do anything. and made me feel like my friend betrading me and stuff like that.. ok lathy i been fill with bad and neitve thoughts in my minds. i use be so postive and have alot of motervation. sorry this is long. i hope someone understand and get me.. i am feeling not my self anymore.. (link)
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I have been in your situation. Part of the problem is that you are not working, and not driving, and don't have a lot of friends to go out with- so that leaves you a lot of time to sit around and think....
When you're not busy (like with work or school or something) and not involved with a lot of other people, your mind has too much time to wonder, and focus on your problems. Until your problems become magnified. So you really need something to keep you busy!
Is there something you can do, like take a class, volunteer somewhere, join any clubs, churhes, find some new hobbies. Anything that you enjoy and can occupy your mind, and make you feel good about yourself will help you feel MUCH better.
There are TONS of things that you can do- so start looking for something that interests you.
Do you like books, animals, art? There has to be SOMETHING. This is your best bet to getting started in feeling better about yourself and your life.
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Ok so I am in the middle of doing a TAFE course.. could you guys please help me out with this question. Thanks...
Why do managers of a business encourage their employees to participate in continuous learning?
Thanks heaps guys :) (link)
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Because, like the saying goes 'the only thing that remains constant is change'.
In other words, nothing ever stays the same. New technologies, emerge, consumer spending habits change, new trends come out, etc. - there is ALWAYS change going on in life as well as in business. If your employees are not prepared to deal with these changes then the company will fall behind and lose business to another company in their industry WHO WILL keep up with the latest changes.
In order to stay on top, employees must be constantly learning how to tackle the 'next thing'.
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what are some healthy ways for a teenage girl to masturbate? i've already heard about the water and the fingers...but isnt there something betta? (link)
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There's also a vibrator. But that's kinda scary in a way because you have to worry that your parents will find it or something (or hear it). Which of course, would be pretty embarrassing. =)
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idk why but ive never been able to say those 3 words to my parents.. or even to my closest friends. i mean.. i dont have the type of friends who'd say that all the time and i wasnt brought up that way either. i mean, obviously i love my parents and my good friends.. and i've tried to work up the courage to say that i love them.. but then i chicken out.. like i feel like its so cheesy or something since my parents never really said that though i knew they loved me and my siblings. how can i get better at saying it? cause my dad is in a different state right now, working on a new company, and sometimes i miss him and i think of calling him and telling him i love him but then i also think thats too mushy for me.. and ive never said it before to him so its weird. same with my mom. i mean sometimes im stubborn and stuff.. so me saying that.. why is it so hard for me???? i wish it was easier. i mean maybe if i had a really good boyfriend that i loved it would be easier to say it in a romantic POV, but idk. how can i get better at this like.. mushy stuff?
13/f (link)
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It's good to hear that want to be closer to your parents and I'm glad you are writing this. Some people don't ever say those words, and then, heaven forbid there's a car accident or something and they have to live with the fact that they never spoke those words.
So your thinking is correct- make sure that your feelings are known.
Some people wear thier emotions on their sleeve and for others, it's hard to express this type of sentiment. That's ok, people are different. Plus, you're young and things can change.
Here's something that's helped me before in similar situations- I write it in a letter. Sometimes writing is much easier than saying it. Don't know if you've tried that, but it might help if you haven't. And you can always lighten it up by putting the note inside a cute little greeting card like with a dog on the front or something...or a b-day or anniversary card, whatever.
Sorry, that's the only suggestion I can think of now. =)
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THere is a trend out there I guess its spelled emo. Anyways my son has been talking about it for two years but never really acted on it. Two days ago he started dressing im all black and yesterday he puts on eyeliner. I love my son very much, he has always MARCHED TO HIS OWN DRUM AND IVE ALWAYS SUPPORTED HIM. HE IS MOSTLY ANTISOCIAL AND LOVES MUSIC AND THE COMPUTER...HIS NEW FOUND LOVE IS THE CURE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT BEING EMO. NOT TO DOWN HIM BUT TO SUPPORT HIM.....PLEASE HELP (link)
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This is sort of a revival of what the 'alternative' crowd in the 80's did.
I think a lot of kids that get into it feel like they don't relate somehow to the other crowds- for whatever reason- and so they've sort of made their own crowd that's pretty easy to join because you basically just throw on some black clothes, a little attitude....and there you go!
Sometimes it's because their not interested (or great at) sports, in some ways they're more mature than some of the kids that only care about the superficial things- the latest this and that and who's hotter...
So there are lots of reasons. I would want to know why he's joined. And keep an eye on him to make sure it doesn't go too far, like into self-destructive behavior. But you probably have nothing to worry about- this may be just where he feels welcome and like he fits in.
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15/f
so my breasts itch a lot...why?
they're really tender but i din't know if them itching had anything to do with them growing...?
(link)
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could also be your bra, the material of the bra, or the heat too.
But this is pretty normal, I mean if you're not itching like every second.
sorry that's all i know on this..
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so the other night i was coming home late from work. i was at a stop sign and looked out my window and i saw the weirdest thing. i saw fairies floating around dancing with dwarfs and the fairies had those little boots on with the curls at the end. i told everyone about it the next day and nobody believed me. shortly after i saw them again when i was coming home from this crazy party. so i told my parents about the fairies, a big mistake, and yesterday they made me go to the doctor. they told the doctor what i said in private and then he asked to talk to me alone. he told me i had gone way too far this time and he said the fairies and dwarfs were illusions i had created because i'm always smokin and trippin. sure, i do drugs but these fairies were real, i know they were. does anybody else ever see fairies dancing around with dwarfs late at night? (link)
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It's the drugs.
And what do you mean by tripping, are you talking LSD?
IF you are, there's your answer right there. And you don't have to be doing it that night to see illusions. LSD trips can give you flashbacks and have you seeing things even YEARS after you take it. There are people who had bad trips in the 60's and still trip now. Yet another reason why this is something you should stay away from.
Also, sometimes pot is laced with LSD or other things, so this can get you seeing things that aren't there too. It landed a friend of mine in the hospital. She kept seeing satan and went so nuts she almost tried to kill herself...
so my advice- get off whatever crap your on.
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I'm really confused and worried about my vagina. I don't know, I just don't think it looks normal.
On the lips, it's a brown color, and I don't think it should be. And my actual vagina is closed, i guess. Like, it doesn't look like a hole, and it won't open unless i physically take my fingers and open it. Because there's like a piece of skin that's over my vagina, almost. And there are these two little pieces of skin that are coming out of it.
I'm just paranoid now, because I can't put a tampon in unless I hold it happen, and how can I have sex is my vagina is like, closed?
I don't know. Is this normal? Or does it sound normal, at least? I've actually tried googling for pictures of regular vaginas, that's how paranoid I am. But i just get really innapropriate pictures. I know this sounds really weird. But I don't think this is normal? Well, is it? 14/f (link)
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The piece of skin over your vagina is probably your hymnen. That's what a hymen is- and that is why it hurts and bleed when you first have sex because that piece of skin, the hymen, is broken.
The other piece of skin coming out, are you talking about the clitoris? The clitoris sticks out. As far as the opening, this is normal. You are still a virgin and are only 14.
And don't worry about the sex and tampons and all that yet. I know you want to be like your friends and all that, I was young once too. But trust me, you have plenty of time, there's no need to rush.
All the girls that I know that rushed into sex before they were ready regretted it like hell the next day and wished they could take it back.
This is NOT a lecture, just some friendly advice from someone who remembers what it was like.
Hope this helps. :)
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ok here it goes i am 15/f and well i think i could be pregnant i don't know for sure but i have no clue what i would do if i found out for sure that is all i think about lately but what would i do my family well we already have family problems the way it is right now and a baby would just ruin my family and i wouldn't be able to go to school where i go now because i couldn't dare listen to what people have to say about it i don't know what to do and how to cope with it um lets see if i was pregnant abortion is out of the question and adoption would be way to hard to do maybe i should just take a pregnancy test but i don't know how to get one without anyone asking questions (link)
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If you don't want to talk with your parents and aren't sure what to do- I suggest contacting the nearest planned parenthood center. This is the kind of thing that they deal with and will help you sort everything out, whatever the result.
www.plannedparenthood.org
There are also other organizations that help with testing, counseling, etc. Don't know any of their names off-hand, but pp is a start.
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i was with this guy once, bob and we did some stuff, and when he fingered me, it hurt, really bad. like i cried for an hour after. and i dont know if it's because i had a bad time then, but my almost boyfriend and me did stuff last night, he fingered me and it felt good, but nothing really happened besides it feeling good, nothing earth shattering like everyone always talks about .. i dont know if there's something wrong with me, or how to handle it. i feel like im gonna make him mad causenothing happens. (link)
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First of all, whether it feels good or hurts or not can depend on a few different things- were you warmed up? I.E.- lubricated? When a woman gets excited she gets a little wet down there and this makes it easier for something to go in. Otherwise it can be like raw, which can hurt and be very uncomfortable.
Second of all, some of the other answers are right, depending on how he did it, how big his fingers are, how many, etc. it could have been too much for you, or too rough. And that can take the pleasure out of it.
Third, some women don't enjoy this that much. You may be one of them. Everyone is different and likes different things. You have to find out what you like as well as HOW you like it.
Fourth, don't EVER be afraid that a guy will 'get mad'. You should never feel pressured in any way- that right there can also take the joy out of sex. It's meant to be enjoyable, but not FORCED joy...
Hope this helps clear some things up. :)
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okay.
my friend recently had sex
for the first time.
without a condom. .
but he claims he didnt cum in her?
idk.
shes freaked as hell
and is worried she might be pregnant.
is there a chance she could be?
i think so, but i figured i'd get a second opinion.
thank you (: (link)
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The other posters are correct, yes there is a chance she could be pregnant.
She might be able to get the morning after pill.
I would contact the planned parenthood in your area. They deal with all kinds of things like this.
plannedparenthood.org
I certainly hope that she's not.
BUT PLEASE- let this be a lesson to anyone reading- pulling out is not a form of contraception! Nor does it protect against STD's. Women, be strong! make the guys wrap that thing up-NO MATTER WHAT EXCUSE THEY GIVE YOU! No condom, no sex. Period.
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Hi. I am 21 years old and had my period once when I was 17 years old. can I get pegant? how do I know if I am ovulating?? and can I carry a baby (link)
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I don't think you can get pregnant if you haven't had a period in 4 years, but I am not a doctor, so don't quote me on that. =]
But the other answers are correct in that you probably should see a doctor as to why you aren't getting your period.
Were you very active in sports? Or are you underweight? These are 2 possible reasons for not getting your period. You should have your doctor check you out to make sure it's nothing serious.
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