Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16160
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I'm a 14 year girk l and i don't have a father ok my mom didn't tell my dad that i was his daughter till last year.After he found out he still doesn't talk to me his wife don't like me either i don't talk to my dads side of the family i have alot of brothers and sisters and i only know one of them. My brother dad and my dad are cousins and my brothers dad is a crake head and he was the only father that was there for me half of my life he was in and out of jail.My mom won't take my dad for childsupport she said to many headaches what do i do (link)
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You need to find some good male role models because fathers give their daughers their beliefs about what men are like. Since your family is kind of problematic, start thinking of families you know where there is a good father in them. I don't mean you need to be friends or close to them. This at least gives you an idea of the kind of man you would like to be with in the future.
The person who acted as your father, your brother's father, although he did care for you, is not a good role model because of drug addiction, but you can be thankful for the good things about him.
Your biological father didn't know about you until you were 13, so he doesn't feel close to you, and maybe it feels uncomfortable now. If he has a wife and children, they may feel very strange about it, too. Maybe with time things will improve, but I don't think you can force anything. Maybe if you go slowly and carefully you can develope a relationship with him. You can might him every week or so and just tell him you want to get to know him, you are not trying to do anything more than that. Then talk about normal things, nothing that sounds accusing or emotional, like he is a stranger (because he is.) I don't know if this will help.
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hi ive had 8 one night stands most potected and i have decided to change my life around i thought i would get some test done for aids or sexual dieses im only 16 and very scared i just want to no what happens its it taken by blood tests or wot help!!!!! (link)
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The AIDS test is a blood test. If you go to a doctor and tell them that you want to be checked for all STD's they will probably want to do an examination, because some STD's are not diagnosed by blood tests. For your own safety, I would go to a doctor and go through an examination.
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I've been married for almost 7 years and have one child who is almost 5. I'm 35, female, and I hate my body. I had a round belly when I got married, but now, in addition to that, I have this roll around my middle, and no waist. I have a hard time following strict diets that involve a lot of restrictions and strenuous exercise. I also have cellulite on my thighs, but I mostly want to get rid of the excess flab around my waist and tummy. Also, I think I might be pregnant because I've been feeling dizzy and nauseous for weeks. I've taken two tests, but they came back negative because I think I took them too early. I forgot how many weeks it's been since I stopped my birth control. I'm going to take another test in another week. Is there a diet that is safe to do during pregnancy? I know this is a lot of info, but if anybody can help me, I would really appreciate it. If I am pregnant, I'm afraid of gaining even more weight during my pregnancy. Help! (link)
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You didn't say your weight and height, so I don't know if you are overweight, or just out of shape.
When you are pregnant, you are expected to gain around 20 pounds, about 7 or so for the baby, and the rest is sack, placenta, fluid in the sack, and a lot of fluid in your body itself from hormonal changes. The majority of the weight is gained at the end of the pregnancy. If you want to avoid gaining excessive weight from the pregnancy, keep the weight gain down, but don't actually diet. The baby needs the nutrition. Wait until after the baby is born to loose. If you can breast feed, that helps with some weight loss.
I think the best thing you do is talk to your doctor for advice on how much to gain and when.
If you aren't pregnant, then diet and exercise slowly. Don't try to be too restrictive. It is better to find a method that you can stick with for a long time than to try too hard and fail. Here is a similar question. Scroll down for the answer I gave them.
For exercise, just 3 times a week for 1/2 hour doing something you like may work. You can just turn on music and jump around and dance free style. That burns fat.
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Greetings, it's me, the advicenator_admin. Lately I've been receiving more requests to have people monitor the site for unsuitable content. Some people would rather give bad advice. I haven't cared much before, I mean, annoying questions are a problem because everyone reads those, but not everyone reads every advice column so who cares how bad it is? I look at advice columns like your own websites... unless it's really hateful, I see no need to try to ban people. Plus, so far when a columnist joins and decides it's funny to slam everyone and be mean, they've gotten sick of it after ten questions or so. No need to pick a fight when they're dropping out anyway.
What do you all think? Should we ban people with really awful columns? Not display columnists with really low ratings? Ignore everything, and just let the site run free? I want to know what everybody thinks. (link)
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The advice columns are not exactly like your own website, because when you click on a question, you see everyone's answers, and it reflects on the whole website. I don't think many columnists here have a following - so people don't exactly go only to their column. They go to "Advicenators" and expect 6 or 10 answers.
I've seen several unnecessarily rude columnists (at least in my opinion.) If I were someone asking a question, I would think less of a website that lets the columnists get away with it, with no guidelines or repercussions.
If you are rating a question negatively by using the standards of chatspeak and bad grammar, that should also apply to columnists.
You said yourself that ratings don't matter - in a question to admin about the fact that ratings can be manipulated. So banning columnists with low ratings doesn't make sense.
If a higher quality website is not that important to you because it involves an overwhelming work load, then let the site run free.
Maybe there can be a comprimise. If you can get Level 2 and 3 moderators to send warnings and corrections, that might help - but the website really has no PM system. Everything is visible.
I guess that might be punishment enough, to have a visible "notice" from a moderator on the column about guidelines infraction. Clear guidelines would have to be created. After a certain number of "notices" if there is no effort to change, then they can be banned.
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NB: don't read this if you are young/innocent/easily offended.
My boyfriend is 17, I'm 16. We spend large amounts of time indulging in 'heavy petting'. But when I give him a hand job (such a horrible way of putting it) he doesn't come unless he gives a hand as well. And when we were trying to sleep together he couldn't maintain an erection. My fault, his fault,nobodies fault?
What should I/we do? (link)
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It is difficult to get a man to climax with a "hand job." It does take endurance. They always seem to do it better themselves. Usually "hand jobs" are a sort of foreplay for the man, and not necessarily the complete sex act.
Loosing an erection is usually about what is going on in his head (if it isn't medical, and it probably isn't in his case.) If he is distracted, worried, anxious about his performance, rushed, not relaxed and comfortable about the situation, concerned that you are not comfortable or into it, etc., that is good reason to loose an erection. You are both very young. Things get better as you get older and more experienced.
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In 1975, had carpal tunnel surgery (L) in March and (R) in July.
Last year, a M R I showed My C-2 slipped (surgery 6/4/03)and deteriating disks of C-3, C-4, C-5, and C-6 (surgery 6/10/03 removing and replacing disks). All were "pinching" nerves to both hands, causing pain, numbness, and tingling. Neither 2003 surgery has removed the symtoms, which I have 24/7, which seems to be getting worse of late. Age = 66 yr.
Did carpal tunnel come back, as suggested by family doctor and neurosurgin? My whole hands seem to be numb and the pain seems to come from inside of wrist, going up my arms.
Any info will be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (link)
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Your carpal tunnel surgery was a while ago, so it might be coming back. Definitely I would think your doctor would want to be certain it was carpal tunnel and not something else causing the symptoms before doing anything. You need your doctor to investigate thoroughly and advise you. Here is a website about it, although you may already know this information. In this website it does says that other factors can cause you to have a lower success rate with surgery. Since you had so many problems with your back, you may have something else going on besides carpal tunnel syndrome.
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My boss is young, quite cool and gay. All of these things are fine by me. However then I found out about his boot fetish. I'm finding it really hard not to mention it or burst out laughing or something equally insensitive.
Any suggestions? (link)
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How did you find about about his boot fetish? Was it gossip or somethng he admitted to you? It depends on his attitude. If he mentioned it and feels comfortable joking about it, then you can feel comfortable too. But if it is gossip, keep quiet.
People joke about sex all the time. He apparently has admitted to being gay.
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In the place where I work there are 9 employees.
A is a gay guy (with a boot fetish).28
B is a bi guy(who is going out with the Bi girl).17
C is a bi girl(that's me by the way).16
D is a bi/gay guy (we're not sure which).17
E is a transvestite.18
F is a woman who is a little TOO close to her mother (this one is a rumour).40+
G has no idea of how to interact with human beings.17
H is crazy (in a good way) but she has no sexual perversions that I know about.16
I is new, only been here a week but she could be weird as well.40+
NB I have dated or am dating B,E and G.
I was just wondering if any of you had any ideas why sexual perversions were so concentrated in such a small group of people. Or why I've been involved with such a high percentage of them.
And no, I do not work in a sex shop/gay bar. (link)
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I think the last "sane" generation was the one who are now 60 and 70 years old. Since then we have had Vietnam, rampant depression, and lack of hope for the future, (that includes the 40+ and 28 year old) and now the people you are talking about (mostly 16 to 19) are trying to figure things out and have very little help from thier parents generation, because they were confused too.
How can you know how to have a good relationship if you have never had good examples? You can experiment, or just try very hard to figure things out on your own, and if you are lucky, get some insight into healthy relationships.
I would ask if you live in California, but I think the "craziness" and "weirdness" is spreading.
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At first, this problem seems simple. In my Journalism class, we have a Journalism website. A girl in the class had 5 weeks to write her column. At the very last minute, she asks someone to write it for her. Simple solution for me, right? Just rat her out! Wrong. The girl who wrote the column for the slacker happens to be one of my friends--I sit next to her every day at lunch. What do I do? Do I rat her out, or just keep my peace? (link)
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Keep your peace. She will eventually reap what she sows without you having that on your conscience.
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HAPPY EASTER ADVICENATORS!
adivice~gurl (link)
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Thanks. Happy Easter to you too.
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i have been talking to guy online for like a year now. we started off as friends... We weren't looking for anyone because we were both getting over long term relationships. Mine wasn't as long as his but the pain was simular. Well guess its best to just explain. I the guy I was dating wasn't making me happy i found i was more miserable than happy. but I have a child by him and we were still in the same household as roommates.....And the guy knew this that I started talking to and said he understood it and was cool with it.....Well, he had just got out of a 13 year relationship with his high school sweetheart. The have two kids which he has custody of and she left him....Well i was okay with this fact because we were just talking as friends. So as time went by we decided that we were both wanting to be more than friends so we started a relationship..We are not in the same state i might add. Well we have always said we would make sure the relationship wouldn't have a negative relationship on the kids. Well, anyways him and my ex aren't the best of friends.... and since my ex was here with me he decided to give me time to see if me and my ex would get back together. After 2 months that didn't happen. it was hard not talking to him. I found myself really unhappy and alone. but it was left up to God when I would talk to him next. Well one day I called after the 2 months and he answered. we realize that time hadn't changed our feelings towards one another and we continued our relationship. well here we are 4 months later and he tells me he is unsure of his feelings. He can't understand how he can love me and still have feelings towards his ex wife. he feels that they should go away completely....I told him i don't think that will ever happen. He just has to figure which feel is stronger. Well he said he thinks he has to get up and walk way from his relationship to me until he figures it. Or until his feelings for her dies. Because he is afraid that our relationship will end like theirs did. and it doesn't help that I told him i loved him 4 days ago. after he made a statement saying that when your in love that you shouldn't have any worries and asked if i thought he had any and i said no. well then he told me when i said that i loved him that we was afraid of letting himself love me because he's afraid of getting hurt. I am like was you trying to tell me something he is like i don't know maybe.....So now i am like am i suppose to wait on him if i love him for him to figure out if he's going to listen to his heart(me) or his mind(her and me)....He says he torn between to women he feels like. Am I at a lost and should I give up on love or let this love find its way aback to me again it did once should I think it will again? please help me understand this....
lostamongsttheroses
okay i have to update this a little we got back together tonight....He said he doesn't want to lose me and that he couldn't not handle losing me after all the time we have spent as friends leading up to our relationship. And he doesn't think he can give up on us because of his ex. He is scared he said of the "LOVE" word he said he should be happy but he doesn't know why hearing it doesn't make him happy like it should. He doesn't want to lead me on. And he feels with me saying it he is leading me on by not feeling the same way. I am at a lost at understanding all this please can someone help me understand or make some kind of since out of this is it a good thing that he didn't wait time coming back to me or is it bad and does he love me and just afraid of admitting to himself that he has feelings for me.....i have only said i love you once.
(link)
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You say you are in different states, but it sounds like you have had close personal contact, and visited each other. I am not sure from reading this.
Here is what I think, although I know I don't have the whole picture. I think he has two women, his "ex-wife" (who I wonder if she really is an "ex") and you. This is kind of common. There are guys on the internet who will tell you they have left their wife or girlfriend, then later say they can't get over her. It reality, the "ex" never even knew they were an "ex" and the guy "left." They only know the guy was spending a lot of time on-line.
I personally think you should give up on him. I think he is stringing you along. Even if he suddenly realizes he has to make a choice and you are it, how can you trust him wondering if he left someone for you? I would always wonder when he was going to start looking around for the next one.
I tend to be distrustful of internet romances because it is too easy to be dishonest. I know it is impossible to get his "ex's" side of the story to know for sure what the situation is, but it really sounds like he has two women at once.
Even if this is not the fact, and he really has left his ex-wife, you are in two different states, and she has a big advantage over you. She is right there, and you aren't. He has also tried to say that he doesn't "love" you, but he still just wants you around.
I would start looking elsewhere. It sounds like you and your own "ex" have really ended your relationship. I would try to meet someone outside of on-line if you can (although I don't know of many good places to meet decent single men.) If you do meet someone else on-line, be sure he is close enough physically that you can see each other, and know for sure he is not in another relationship that he is hiding.
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When people ask for advice it makes it alot easier for advicenators to answer when you give your **age**. (link)
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If you are asking a question, and your age (or other information) is important to getting a good answer, then say it. It really depends on the question. If it is not important to the question, I don't think it matters. But most questions asked on here do involve age.
If you are asking the advicenators to tell your their age when they answer, you can find that in thier column if they put it there, but I don't think that matters at all. Advice is advice.
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Is there a way to get rid of lovehandles, besides getting lipo? Because, even though I'm 15, I have them, and they're so unattractive. (link)
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Although exercise is the best way to get rid of them, love handles are very normal on women because females just have more fat than men. Even if you are young and thin, you may still have them naturally. The styles lately, with low cut pants, and close fitting short tops really accentuate them. Girls who don't have them are in the minority.
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I'm 15 and weigh 110 pounds. I think that's OK for me, because I'm about 5'3". But, some of my family thinks that I'm anorexic, just because I don't eat a lot of meat & stuff at family gatherings. Like, my grandma will be like "Oh I'm so glad you're actually eating!" When I'm like the biggest pig! I hate people thinking that I have an eating disorder, what should I do? (link)
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You are a normal weight, so that isn't a problem. Maybe your grandma just really feels complimented when people eat her food, and if they don't her feelings are hurt. Maybe the comment means something different than you think it does, that they don't think your have an eating disorder, but feel that food at family gatherings means something more than food. It might not be about your weight at all.
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i've been really unhappy all my life anmd i put it to my dad dieing and school. i now getting homeschoolded but still so unhappy i think im still greaving my dad i am not allowed to talk about him any more and have not friends around to keep his memory alive. He was a great dad didnt do anything wrong my mum got a new partern 7 months after he died. I meet a guy of the internet as mates and i dont no if im in love with him coz i like him so much or coz he reminds me how i would hug n kiss my dad goodnight i was only 6 when he died now 16. I never b4 let my gard down would nt let anyone touch me not my brother or my mum not even mentors at school i let my gard down with him im so convused and uhappy i cart sleep i thought being away from all those kids who bullied me would take all the painaway (link)
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It is really unhealthy not to talk about someone who you lost and grieve for. Definitely you need friends that you can talk to about your dad and his memory. If your mom, or her new partner, doesn't want to hear it, find a place where you can talk to your friends away from her. You don't have to tell her you are talking about your dad, and can still keep quiet around her, but she is doing the wrong thing by not allowing you to talk and grieve. The interet may be ok, but it is better to talk in person.
My children's dad died when they were young (about 15 years ago), and they are still close to a few of the friends who they knew when he was alive.
Your feeling for your new mate from the internet is probably not love in the "true love" sense, but hugs and kisses from someone you like, respect, and care about are also healthy. If your family doesn't hug or touch, I think it is good to get a hug and comfort somewhere else. Just don't let him take advantage of the situation and talk you into something further that you are not ready for.
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ok i wanna redo my bedroom into a cool 80s style i cant find any 80s room style online and i dont have time or money to go somewhere far away to find stuff i need to find it now ... i really need help on how to find great 80s style rooms i really want this done to my bedroom ... so help me and tell me where to find pictures or info on 80s room i mainly need pictures.. help me ASAP!!! (link)
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This is not going to be easy, because there are not a lot of websites and books out there specifically about decorating bedrooms in 1980's fashion. First start searching the internet, put things like "1980's decor" or "decorator magazines 1980's" in various search engines then follow any links that look interesting. Most of the vintage websites have a very few "1980's" theme items, and they are usually toys, or related to TV shows. You could also try to locate very old magazines in library archives.
I think it would be a lot simpler to just start visiting thrift stores and looking at old furniture, fabrics, etc. Find what appeals to you, then make your bedroom more "eclectic," but loosely patterned around the 80's.
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i have a horse and i really love her but shes getting to much for me to handle my mum says i shold sell her and choose another career and she wont let me have another horse if we sell this one and there doesn't seem to be anyone to help me (link)
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If you are unable to handle this horse, then you are probably not going to be able to handle another horse. Is there a way that you can sell her to someone who will let you ride her or visit her on occassion? I don't know a lot about horses, but from the little I know, people often need additional people to exercise horses and socialize with them because they can't put in enough time.
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Alright, someone help me and try to tell ma few diets. I know about Atkins, I can't go on Slim fast, I need more info on low Cal, I need a way to loose from 30 - 50 pounds I'm not in a hurry so anything can be good really. Please help! (link)
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Count calories and keep your daily intake to 1300-1500 calories a day. Most packages have calories on them. It may take a little math sometimes to figure out servings. Get a book with a calorie list. Most diet and nutrition books have them. Keep a food diary of what you ate, otherwise you will loose track.
Measure whenever you can, because then you will be more acurate. When it comes to meats, calories are usually listed by ounces. Estimate 3 ounces is about the size of a deck of cards. If you can find one, get a little scale to check meat servings once in a while.
Keep track of your weight loss once a week, and if you loose more than 3 pounds a week increase your calorie intake by about 100 to 200 calories until you are loosing about 2 pounds a week.
Hopefully you know what good nutrition is. Eat approximately 2 servings of meat, 4 servings of vegetables, 2 fruit servings, 3 or 4 servings of grains or starches, 2 milk or dairy servings a day, and take a multi-vitamin.
It is really difficult to stay on a diet. Your life becomes all about food. I would try for around 300 to 350 calories for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and 100 to 150 calories for snacks. Eat frequently. Experiment with food, especially low calorie and diet food. Some of them are awful, but some aren't bad.
Allow yourself to go off your diet once or twice a week if you need too. If you can stay on it the other 5 days, you will still loose.
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I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We have been together for over two and a half years. This spring I graduate from college, and this summer I'm going to move several hours away and get started on landing my dream job. There's no telling what my work schedule will be like, so I probably won't get to see him very often. But that's not even the real problem.
My boyfriend has never been in college, even though he has always wanted to go, due to poor grades in high school and lack of financial resources. He works the graveyard shift at a local grocery store. He used to complain that he hated his job, now he says it's not that bad, and that eventually he'll do something better. He talks about all his plans for the future, but he doesn't do much to put the plans in action. He did buy a few SAT guides and has studied them a bit, but has yet to take the SAT even once, as he says "It costs money" and "I don't know where it is." (Two problems that are easily solved if you ask me -- if he didn't buy video games so often, he'd easily have enough money to take them, and finding out where to take the SAT is as easy as looking it up.) He doesn't have his license or a car, and I don't have a car quite yet either, so it's difficult for him to get around to places, and he refuses to ask people for rides or just take the bus or a taxi, for some reason. He's talked numerous times about saving money in order to get into school or get a car (to make life easier) or whatever, but something always comes up. Once he spent several hundred dollars on a computer, saying he "needed" it to look up schools, but all he's done with it is play games and surf the Internet and download songs. Another time he spent 150 bucks on a PS2, when he had been saving that money up for school. Other times, he's told me that he is waiting to see where I wind up career-wise, then he'll move there and go to school wherever I am! He originally planned to move in with me this summer, but something in my gut told me that was not a good idea just yet, so I told him I'd like to wait on that.
I have held several discussions with him about this before. Every time, I let him know that if he didn't really want to go to school, or was having trouble trying to figure out where to get started with it all, I would help him out as best I could. I mean, I'm very lucky to come from a family that could afford to send me to school, and to have had a lot of guidance early on about colleges and things of that sort. He's doing this all on his own, and I've always been very eager to try and help him out as much as I could. But he's put off all offers of my help, and sometimes, it's like he's just waiting on me to tell him what he needs to do. I have my own job and schoolwork and life to worry about at the moment, and he's got to meet me halfway. I can tell him where to go to register for the SAT or who to talk to at my own college about career and college guidance, but he always insists that I go with him. One time I told him about a minorities program that would help him out a lot financially (he's Puerto Rican), but he put off going to see the advisor and well, he just never did it. Another time I was telling him about how a friend of mine pays for school by being a resident advisor, and he instantly turned down that idea flat without even looking into it, saying "Nah, that's just not for me."
He often says things like, "You've got to have faith in me, because if you don't trust me, how can we have a relationship?" Well, I do trust him, but how can I have faith in him when he doesn't do anything?
We've been friends for 8 years and I love him with my whole heart, and I want him to be there in the future when I'm ready to get married and buy a house and settle down. He knows this, and he's always said he wants the same things, and I believe he does. But the last thing I want is to marry someone who can't even pay his share of the bills! Let me make it clear that I pay for plenty of things myself in this relationship. I'm not the kind of girl who wants a guy based on how much money he has. If I see something nice that I want, I buy it for myself, most of the time. So I'm not asking for the world here. I can make my own dreams come true! But I would like to see him live out all his dreams, and I'd like to see him live the nice comfortable life he says he wants to live. These are all things he's brought up on his own, not words I put in his mouth. It's not as if I'm trying to force him to want the same things I want.
These days, he spends most of his time (when he's not sleeping or working) playing video or computer games or watching basketball games, or hanging out with me. When I encourage him to do stuff or make suggestions or offer some help, he tells me he's working on it and seems eager to change the subject. So, I take that to mean that I've nagged too much in the past and he's grown tired of hearing it, and so in the past few months I haven't really brought it up at all. The last thing I want is to be a huge nag and drive him crazy.
I've been in lots of relationships and this is easily the best one. He is extremely kind, generous, fun, very talented and creative, and best of all, he loves ME exactly the way I am! He has never tried to change a single thing about me (well, except the fact that I am a big slob, haha). So I feel bad that I'm being a hypocrite of sorts by trying to change him. But it's not so much that, as that he says he's going to do things with his life, and then he doesn't do them. Even my family and friends have noticed that he's not really going anywhere. I hate when my family asks me questions about the progress he's making with school (because they're excited for him wanting to get into school, not because they're trying to be snotty or nosy), because I have nothing new to share with them. If he would just be upfront and honest and say "I don't want to go to school" that would be fine. But he says he does want to go, he's always said that, before we ever got romantic.
I feel I also have to mention that this is not the only thing he has been slow about. He hasn't seen his family, who live in Texas, in close to three years. My mother looked up some discount plane tickets for him several times that he could have easily afforded, but he wouldn't go, even though he is always talking about how much he misses them, and emailing them and calling them! My mother was very confused about that. I was, too! Other times he'll say he's going to go see his fam in a few months, but a few months later, it's obvious it's not going to happen!
I don't want to let him go, but I wonder. Am I justified in worrying that I'm going to be hanging on forever waiting for him to DO something? Am I doing something wrong in the way I try to talk to him, since I wind up hitting a brick wall every single time? Am I being a huge bitchy snob who needs to stop trying to make her boyfriend be just like her? Everything's perfect in our relationship, to a tee, except this. Maybe I should let him find someone who is better than me. (link)
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You both are very different from each other. You work hard; he doesn't seem to have a lot of drive, even though he says he wants the results. He really seems to be happier with the status quo than you are. I understand that you care about him, but keep in mind he is not likely to change much. It will probably cause more resentment and conflict in the future.
"But the last thing I want is to marry someone who can't even pay his share of the bills!" Is he paying his bills now or are you taking on more than your share of the financial burden? If it is the first, you are just very different personalities. If it is the second, the relationship will not work out at all.
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Dont do what I do.
I don't cut myself, or physically hurt myself because that would be a watse of a good knife. I rot away from the inside so slowley and painfully, hacking my arm apart wouldn't make any difference. The people who want to be my friends, and say hi to me at school, don't really know what their doing, or getting themselves into. I don't want to be harsh but they can't be my friends, because none of them seem to notice that anythings wrong. One friend, just ONE person, seems to be able to look into my eyes and know somethings up. I don't even hang around with her that often. But theres been times when shes passed me on my way to class, and grabbed my arm and gone "There's something up isn't there?"
That person i cherish, even though they probably don't realise it. I spend everyday withsome people, and they never seem to notice.
I should be thankful for the people who care, but if one day i lashed out and hit them, screamed at them, hurt them..........wouldn't they just walk away? If you're friend smacked you round the face and called you shit, wouldn't you just turn around and go find someone else to hang around with? If you think you would still be there for that person, you need to think long and hard. I don't know anyone who would be able to tolerate something like that.
I won't kill myself, cos then I'll be just a statistic in the world. I don't want to be another number. That would be worse than staying in this world. And I dont want strangers sympathy. I don't want people seeing reports in the newspaper of my death and saying "poor kid." I don't want it.
This is my mind speaking. These are the things going round in my head at this moment in time.I love my family and my friends to death. I don't want to hurt them. I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to cry like I'm doing right now.
Some days I feel like crying, somtimes I'm too drained to do anything. Today i laid in my room and stared into space for ages. I don't know what I was doing. I don't even know whether i was thinking. I was in a daze, and I couldn't control it.
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You need to talk to someone, not for sympathy, but for yourself. You care about yourself, and that is really good, but you have a lot of things you are carrying around, and sometimes talking to someone else eases your mind, whether they are paid to listen, like a psychologist, or they are someone who cares about you (maybe too much to listen) like your family or friends, or they are your pastor, rabbi, hair stylist, bartender, police officer, etc.
As a piece of writing, it was good, and since it is so believable I don't believe it was fiction, I am responing to it like it was a question on advicenators.com.
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