icey0990's

advice column

about

advice

female 36
I have been sleeping with a guy that is younger than me (28) for over a year now. We always seem to get together, well he always comes back for more. I have said to him that I feel bad about this and that I had told him in the beginning that I wanted a relationship. He has told me that he doesn't want a commitment because he is scared, just recently he told me that the girlfriend he had, had committed suicide, I have yet to find out more about this. I am finding it hard to not sleep with him because we are good together and I really like him. Before he leaves he always says I will ring you or catch up soon but I am the one who usually has to txt first. I wonder if he's just not that keen on me or if he really is scared to start something new because of what happened, I am not that confident to pry into what happened, but do I have a right to know? I really like this guy, but am I just wasting my time, should I just be strong and call it quits.

try something just to see...dont contact him..wait it out and see if he will contact you first..he might just assume you will call....a guy who really likes you...will call..it sounds lik e maybe he kind of knows you will call him first?
well i think you desserve a committed relationship..oif thats what your looking for. tell him you want a committment...and if you cant seem to agree, maybe its best to go seperate ways.
i know guys have fantasies about being with older women...so mayne this is just his fantasy hes living..an he wants to just sleep with you with no committment...tell him either there is a commitment...or you will have to go seperate ways/
as for the dead gf..i would leave that alone...dont play investigator...if he decides to be committed and you get closer emotionally..then he will naturally open up to you

[view]

okay well im 15/f, and i recently found out im pregnate. Before i found out my boyfriend broke up with me, we don't talk anymore, he ignores my calls and he won't read anything i send him...so is it useless to tell him??he's 15 to, and lives about 45 min. away. I think I'm gonna keep the baby too, I haven't told my parents yet. I'm a "goodygood" so noone would expect it...and i don't kno what to do...i tried to tell my best friend...but she didn't believe me...what do i do? how do i tell my ex. and get him to listen to me?

ok...you need to leave him a message on the answering machine...personally go to his house...something! who cares if he will be willing to help out...the law will make him sacrifcice a percentage of his paycheck to child support...make his parents pay...or something. he helped make this babyy..so he will help take responsibility for the baby. he sounds like he might not always be there...but you should at least get child support from him...just tell your ex straight out..that youu foound out ur pregnant and your KEEPING the baby ..dont let him talk you into an abortion...lay down the line..see what he will contribute..who knwos? maybe he will really step up and bthere for the baby...if not ...at least you will get child support

[view]

ok, i was just wondering if being fingered by a guy feels much different then if u finger your self ill rate thanx

ok..well there are 3 factors that determine this:

1) if he knows what hes doing or not..if the guy is a pro it will probably feel just as good as if it were you

2) if he knows where and how you like it

3) the speed he goes...and the connection you share

[view]

How exactly is being anorexic bad for you? People has said that if you're anorexic your body loses all these nutrients but what are the actual like 'symptoms' you get if you're anorexic. Besides dizzyness and fatigue.
Thanks I'll rate 5 for any decent answers!

well..its not just physical symptoms..there are mental symptoms. if you find yourself looking in the mirror and being horrified at yourself when all your friends are amazed how much weight you have dropped so quickly...thats a sign

if you go on the scale and see that o...i dont know...maybe lost 20 lbs in 1 - 1 1/2 months..and you still arent satisfied..

if you find yourself eating a crouton (stuff u put in salad) for dinner...or if you only eat lettuce..or something crazy..theres a sign

[view]

hey i was just on the phone to my boy friend he lives an hour away and he was just saying how we're not as playful as we use to be (i've had a few home probs just not in the mood) like on the phone playful dissing each other and stuff but im confused about the playful in bed what can i do to make it "playful" thanks!

theres lots of stuff...even just using whip cream and hot fudge to lick off his stomach would really be playful and fun...things you dont normally do..like nibbling on his ear (i dont know if you guys do that) ..talking dirty might be fun and something nice to try..
it depends on how far you want to go with your bf..

if you want to stick to kissing...the hot fudge and whipped cream is a good idea to lick off his body..deep kisses , etc

if you want to go to touching......
use the hot fudge idea and get it all over...on his naked body...rub it all over..and have him do the same to you..while touching other places

if you want to add oral things to it...
lick it all off of him..have him lick you..etc

if you want to go all the way...
have sex while the two of you are covered in the hot fudge...do it in weird places like
i dont know...the pool,outside if you have privacy, other places...

have fun..that should keep you guys busy

[view]

I feel like im going to be so left out this summer. I want to go to the pool so badly but I'm afraid no one will want to go with me. I dont have many people on my street that are my age, so yeah..And Im just afraid and I dont want to have anyone over and I feel like people can invite me but I cant invite them. I dont know why. My birthday was a few weeks ago and i wanna have a party, but it has to be GOOD. I dunno what kind to have and stuff, just me switching schools to a kinda school thats not so social, and me already being way shy and stuff hasnt helped.

keep positive..i know it might seem awkward right now..but go to the pool and make an effort to be nice..and if your nice and friendly..of course you will make friends..i know when there is a new student in our school we always want to talk to him or her about his or her old school. I think a pool partty would be really great! invite everyone..and who doesnt have fun at a pool party? it would be awesome trust me..its a great opportunity to make new friends ..i think its a great idea.

[view]

I just overdosed. I do it all the time but this time I think I did to much. I keep passing out so I'm making this quick. No one would understands my problems so I can't tell anyone. I feel freezing I have no air conditioner though and I live in FL it's 90 degrees. Something's definatly wrong. What should I do?!

ok listen to me..please! dont take the chance of passing out and not waking up ever again..you need to call an ambulance..do it now..please...you can get help and straighten everything out...its not worth it to take the chance of dying or having a seizure, etc.

you NEED to call an ambulance..you can find someone..a psycologyst or something who will understand you...just dont even think about all that right now..worry about getting an ambulance over there right away..and securing your health and safety.

[view]

I am @ the end of my seventh grade year and am already thinking of colleges(I know,I know)But i am one of those people who are obsessed with my education and trying to plan ahead. I love litereature and acting.I live in Massachusetts. I am also interested in history. Does anyone have any ideas? I am a great student and like evry subject except math (although I am good @ it) Thanks (I rate HIGH)

first of all i think its really great that you want to get an early start...im in 10th grade and trust me it seemed like yesterday i was in 7th grade! my advice is to go onto ask.com and other search engines to find more info...you can also type in college scholorships into a search engine like ask.com and there might be some scholorships you can apply for...although i didnt see many for people your age..more scholorships will be available to you as you get older.

i did some research and found these websites..copy and paste these into where you type in your websites

i would say this is the best one...just complete the information on the bottom and you will get a bunch of college info from colleges all around the country..i signed up for a college mailing list...and trust me its so great! you get a ton of information in the mail..

http://web.ask.com/redir?u=http%3a%2f%2fwww.get-recruited.com%2fundergrad.html

http://www.petersons.com/bestcollegepicks/login.asp

^ thats a good website...if you register you can really find some good colleges

http://www.collegeview.com/

http://www.collegeanduniversitysearch.net/

http://apps.collegeboard.com/search/index.jsp



here is info on a New York acting school

http://www.nyfa.com/?ovchn=GGL&ovcpn=animation&ovcrn=new%20york%20acting%20schools&ovtac=PPC

[view]

me and my ex broke up like a month ago cause we both dont have our license so its hard to hang out outside of school and stuff and of course i'm still totally in love with him.. its just hard to date.. so i finally had the courage to write him an email. i wrote it today. i want you to read it and tell me what you think that maybe he will think when reading it? or maybe i just made a complete idiot out of myself, here it is:

hey.i uh.. um.. i'm still shy to talk to you.. i know.. i'm such an idiot. i dont know why. its like.. i wanna say hi and stuff but nothing comes out when i look at you. its like ahh crap. i cant even speak. i am such a dork. umm.. i cant really express how i feel in words.. i am such an idiot. maybe i am nuts for emailing you. maybe you dont wanna talk to me.. if you dont, i dont blame you. i am an idiot.. *sigh* umm.. >.< just wanted to see how your doing. i miss talking to you. your so awesome..i love everything about you.. umm.. well.. uhh.. i.. uh.. umm.. uhhhhhhhh well.. uhh. ahhhhhh!! um. uhh.. toodles.

o.o this is probably the most pathetic emails i have ever written in my life and probably the most pathetic email you have gotten yeah. see. i am such an idiot.. >.> haha. yup! i am a dork.. n ss!w !

hey. dont put yourself down like that! you expressed your feelings honestly which is good! the only part that wasnt good was the negativity..you calling yourself an idiot..becausee your not! if i was the guy and i got this email, i wouldnt be like "what an idiot" ..i would probably smile and write something similar back . so, dont get so down on yourself..you wrote to him in your own words and im glad you gathered\ up the guts to write it!

[view]

why doesnt this site let you share your poems anymore? i mean I know this is a advice site but it was nice to get fead back on your poem and ADVICE on how to make it better. So i was just wondering cuz it really helped make my peoms better.

i dont know...but i would just go to kiwibox.com or something..its really good there..you can post poems, all of them are posted . .none are cut..and people can give feedback

[view]

ok so i just started playing softball last year. I'm not bad at all. The bad part is that my dad thinks i suck because he NEVER pays attention to me when i practice and i think hes only gone to 3 of my games. 4 tops. but then again, he goes to every single one of my little brothers games,he helps him practice ALL the time, and he lets my little brother pitch. One of the reasons why i like softball so much is because last year i was one of the best pitcher in my league. now that im in an older league, i have to pitch different but im still pitching really accurate and fast. My dad thinks im horrible and pitching and thinks i have NO CLUE what im doing because im not doing it like a stupid pitching video is telling me to do. I cant convince him that everyone has their own style. how can i have him realize that im actually really good and that i really want to pitch again??

ok your dad is a perfectionist...i think he'll realize it when you get a scholorship to a college for softball...dont let him get to you or ruin pitching...they have college games on espn2 sometimes...if you can find one put it on and show him...i bet the pitcher from one team is different from the pitcher on the other!
is your dad the coach? if hes not...get the coach to talk to him and i bet ppl on your team have different styles than you..so show him that!
i bet if you got another video, they would teach you another way!
i used to go to softball clinics for hitting and pitching..i should go again..but anyway go there and have the experts tell him...
go on websites ..maybe instructional sites from college teams on how to pitch..i bet you will find a bunch of different styles!
keep pitching your way, work hard, and in a few years when your kickin ass in college, maybe he will finally realize his mistaake

[view]

What does it mean if your nipples are inverted?
How does it affect you?
Is it like a deformity?
Thanks i Rate high!

well it means your nipples are never hard because they are pretty much always inward..its hhard to explan...
how does it affect you? it doesnt really...some guys might not like itt if you hook up and they see the inverted nipples they might get turned off...but its not a big deal..their loss right?
its not really a deformity..it isnt that serious..we're all different !

[view]

i have no idea what im going to do with her. do you have any ideas what we could do? also how am i supposed to get her in bed? i have only babysat once..and that was with my sister. im going to babysit from 7 to 11. what time do you think she should go to bed? i just really need some ideas on what we could do. and do you have any tips? also...how much do you think ill get payed for 4 hours?

ok i have 3 brothers so here are my suggestions...

if you want her to be asleep early...right when you get there play outside with her, have her run around like crazy until it gets dark...she will fall asleep on her own in front of the tv before 9..which leaves you two hours to do what you want.

lets say she isnt the outdoors type of girl...even taking her on a walk will tire her out and make her fall asleep early.

play with her toys...play whatever she wants to play IF she promises to listen to you.

what my dad used to do when i was little...was he would turn the clocks ahead to like 1AM when really it was like 7...and he would trick me into thinking it was really late! so at 9pm (when its dark) and if shes really wound up...do that trick.

for 4 hours..it depends on the people but i would say you should definately get at least $20 if you figure $5 per hour ...it would be nice if they give you more...

i wouldnt hint at money or anything...talk about how great she was when the parents get home..and maybe that will get them to give you extra $$$

[view]

What should I do when my girlfriend gets HYPER?

put your dick in her mouth! lol no no im only playin..but maybe just put your finger over her lips and give her a long passionate kiss..maybe that will calm her down?
or ..threaten to just sit on the couch and watch playboy until she calms down haha,..
you can suggest going to the movies, out to a nice dinner, etc..these activities will hopefully calm her down?
-melissa

[view]

okay, i have this problem.. adimting i need help. and after what happened last night, i really need to ask for help. so i was at the mall with 2 of my friends, my mom, and my sister. well my mom called the the B word, and i go w/e and walked off. then she came up and hit me with a rather heavey bag, and i just turned around and pushed her. i had NO idea what was going on. like .. i didnt relize what i did. and i was supposed to go to a party that night with those 2 friends. my mom took them home, and me back to my house and grounded me for the day. she also took away my cell phone, and she had taken away my AIM last weekend.
i dont know what to do with my self, i dont know what has gotten into me.. it just feels everything is happening. and i cant controll anything, also i suck at asking for help.
can any one help me on here?
13/f

not many people are perfectly comfortable about asking for help...like family help...because its not just you, its your mom too. family counseling would be great, but who knows if your mom would go for that. whats important is thatt you would like some help (its not like your so0o0o abnormal because of what you did.,..it happens a lot ..especially wiith teens and their parents)
a friend of mine (shes a distant friend now..)has had 3 fights (that i know of ) in public with her mom...now these fights werent just pushing..they were FIST FIGHTS...ON THE GROUND PUNCHING AND PULLING HAIR FIGHTS... it was BAD. one of them was on school grounds...and the whole school saw...it was bad!
maybe hearing that will make you feel more comfortable about getting help. take baby steps..like go to the school guidance and talk to them..telling them what happened at the mall and how you would like help, etc.

[view]

All of my girl-friends were like "omg the notebook is soo sad! I cryed so hard!" and my cousins told me so too..they said it made them cry soo hard..but then I watched it for the first time..and it wasn't sad or anything..they died together..I didn't cry or feel any sorrow..is something wrong with me???

no theres not..people feel different levels of emotions..some get very emotional at movies and some dont feel it. maybe its the fact that its a movie..and not real...lets say a couple died together in real life...maybe your parents..or your best friend and her bf..i think its normal to feel emotion there..but being that its only a movie, and you have no relation to the characters and you know they were only acting, that its normal.
some people will cry their eyes out, and others wont feel the emotion,...its ok!

[view]

okay well if u read this question you might think i'm lesbian. BUT I'M NOT I SWEAR! i'm straight as a straight line! it's just well i compare myself to other girls if they have something and i don't. like boobs or a butt or really skinny! and i really need help to STOP because i DONT want people to think i'm lesbian! CUZ I'M NOT! i think there nasty people! but i need help to stop comparing!

comparing is fine, its normal! me and my friends compare sometimes..i think its ok to compare sometimes..but to revolve your life around comparing isnt good! i dont think the issue is you acting like a lesbo, because your not..! you can compare and not say anything to others about it if you feel that way...

i dont care what others think about me...a lot of people think im fat (like middle schoolers will tell my brother how fat i am)..wow took a genuis to figure that one out..but i dont care what they say because they dont know me..nd if they are going to judge me like that..i dont want to know them! i know i have people who are my friends..and thats all that matters..not everyoone is gooing to like me, and i accept that...

lol sorry for getting off track but maybe tat helped? try not to worry what people think...

just make mental notes in your head..like..o shes skinnier than me..etc..

not like it matters right? we are all different..if everyone had the same size clothes,boobs,butt, same color skin,hair and eyes..things would get boring..so be your unique self..!

[view]

My name is stephanie, and I bhave beeen dating my boyfriend for a month now.But here's the twist! My BF(Chris)asked me to hsve sex with him after a band dance. I told him no, b/c I'm not ready to sexualy active just yet! Unexpectingly he said ok I'll respect that b/c I love. I figured that excuse would by me time, and it did! But now he wants more reasons as to why I can't have sex with him. But see what gets me is is that he's telling me he wants to have sex, but when I say no he's ok with what I decide, but he asks repeating , but never makes any kind of action leading to sex. I'm confused! WHY IS HE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS?

ok...he figures he will play mr nice guy when you say no to make it seem like hes ok with it..but really hes not becaiuse he keeps asking! hes using the strategy of pretending like he cares..but continuing to bring it up, hoping you will give in! dont make the hugest mistake ever and do it just to satisfy him..sex is the only thing on his mind right now, and if i were you i would consider breaking up with him...because what kind of good relationship has a bf pressuring his girl to have sex? he KNOWS your not ready...you said no once, thats all it should take..yet he keeps asking. it doesnt matter that he makes no action towards sex..its the fact that he repeatedly brrings it up, hoping for u to givve in...

he wants reasons why??? no reasons are needed! your not ready and thats the bottom line! the two of you are not on the same page,..he wants a sexual relationship and you dont...so unless he understands real fast that its not happening...i would break up with him.

Love is understanding that someone isnt ready to have sex yet...its not demanding for reasons why you dont want to do it..and its certainly not pressuring your partner (yes, hes pressuring by continuing to bring it up)

i hope i helped you...its important to keep firm in what you believe in and how u feel!

[view]

okay me and my boyfriend usually use a condom but about three weeks ago we just used the withdrawal method i wasnt ovulating(i know this becasue ive always had a perfect 28 day cycle) i took a pregnancy test two weeks after which came back negative. i havent missed my period nor do i have any of the symptoms but i am a worry wart i dont think im pregnant but i need a second opion????what do you think?

first off...xXxpinky615xXx said some things that do not sound right at ALL. Although its not as much of a chance of getting pregnent, precum can get you pregnent..and the part about him getting off and leftover sperm is most definately false. Sperm die VERY shortly after being exposed to air...they cannot surrivive..they are also killed in stomach acid fluids (like if you have oral sex and he cums in your mouth, the sperm will die)

now you said you didnt miss your period..so you got it this month? excellent sign..especially being that you had sex 3 weeks ago...

do you have a friend who has a liscense? if so, have him or her take you to plann parenthood for another test...or to a doctor ...just to play it safe..just relax!

[view]

i have this really good friend but lately she has been acting different. she says she cuts but i dont know if she is lying because i do cut or she really does. i asked her what she "cut" with and she said i dont remember and she like never has any marks on her. I would like a second opinion because she wont tell me if she is lying or not and i think she is.

she may be cutting somewhere else..even if shes not cutting, shes obviously feeling insecure because she feels the need to lie about something so serious to get attention..i wouldnt tell her shes lying..i would treat her as if shes really doing it because even if shes not..theres a screw loose up there because people dont just say they are cutting to get attention (well they do...) but its nott healthy to. set up a meeting with the guidance counselor in school to talk with hher

[view]