I have had my fair share of life's lessons and learned from them. I come from a family filled with divorce and family problems so I have a rough idea on how to personally handle things.
As for matters of the heart I can tell when a relationship is or isn't going to work. I understand the importance of communication and give and take after spending around two years in a relationship were I almost ran my ex boyfriend's household and looked after his siblings.
I understand that in certain parts of the world I am not yet of legal age to have a sexual relationship and that in some religious circles it is frowned upon for an unmarried woman to do so. What can I say? I have been in love and I have expressed that love but I have always been careful to avoid any trouble. I know how most contraception works and how the system works so don't be afraid.
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2011
Answers: 144
Last Update: February 21, 2015
Visitors: 9200
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I dont know if this is the right category but I couldnt put it as abusive relationship because he has never purposely hit me.
Im 18 and female. now please no one judge me but im with a older guy hes 31 and have lived with him for nearly 4 months everythings been great and happy. Til last night he had a bit of beer to drink and we had a little coke and were having fun. Until we went to "bed". Half way through he tried putting it in my ass. we do get a little rough like i was handcuffed and tied down but iv never had a problem saying stop or no. Except last night he wouldnt take no for a answer next thing i know hes in my ass and im yelling for him to stop. He wouldnt til he finished, i was almost in tears. I barely was able to sleep in the same bed after. i dont know what to do. I dont want anyone knowing especially my parents. and i dont want to lose what we have together by leaving. so please help i just need some advice of what to do.
-sleepiesheep (link)
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I understand your problem. I was in a similar situation myself about two years ago. I loved my ex so much, we had just got engaged when he had a bit too much do drink and didn't take no for an answer.
Like you I thought I could handle it because he was my first and he was very dear to me. However from that moment I no longer loved him the same as I did before hand.
I was scared every time he had a drink or two and then he started working away from town and I started seeing other men.
I didn't feel any remorse and carried on the relationship for another year before I knew I couldn't do it anymore because it wasn't good for either of us.
I am now in a relationship with an older man who is not into anal sex remotely and that suits me fine. I still remember the good times with my ex and there are days I wonder what would have happened if we had an early night instead of staying out.
I understand you not wanting those you love to know about it as its a difficult subject. I did attempt to tell my family but they wanted me to stay because of his job. However they know you best and sometimes I wish I had listened to my friend who told me to leave instead of drawing it out the way I did.
Hope this helps.
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Basically ive been seeing my boyfriend since august 2010 and well we got together finally in december we got together, but the thing is he's muslim but im so cool with that i dont care haha , only problem is my parents dont think its right if i date a muslim they think he is like them dominent men. But their wrong i want to introduce him to them , but i'm scared that they wouldnt let me see him. Im 18 this year i know its my feelings only thing is that hes a muslim guy, hes turkish. Honestly i fell in love with him, im also his first love aswell and it feels so amazing and well its come to the point where i wanna take things further on with my partner i want to be able to make love with him because i lost my virginity at 15 and well it was horrible didnt like it, wanna make this so special with him but im also nervous cause its the first time im gonna do something with love. PLEASE HELPPPP xx (link)
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I guess we are dealing with two separate issues here: parents and sex with your boyfriend.
About the parents: regrettably they have to find out sooner or later, especially if this relationship stands the test of time as it has done so far.
I would try having a chat to them first about prejudice and religion before bringing up the matter of your boyfriend's faith.
Take for example that a lot of the world's population are Roman Catholic, they have had a lot of pad press over a minority using their position to abuse children, but that doesn't mean all Catholics and catholic priests abuse children. Well it is the same with Muslim men, not all of them are dominant and other prejudices alot of the world have.
As for the matter of sex with your boyfriend on a personal note, yes it is a bother for a woman the first few times, there isn't much anyone can do about it because the body has to learn to accept the male visitor so to speak. However it might be something that you and your boyfriend need to discuss if he is a practising Muslim that sex outside of marriage does not conflict with his religious views.
Hope this helps.
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I have been with my boyfriend for seven months and I love having sex with him, but lately he has asked for oral.
And I want to do it but I am just scared to do the wrong thing (link)
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As long as you are comfortable with it, there shouldn't be a problem. For one thing you need to make sure you do not have an over-sensitive gagging reflex or it just won't work and try and figure out how far is too far (everyone is different and alot depends on size which I don't know)
There isn't really much that can go wrong, however it is an act that requires some communication to find out what is comfortable for you and what is pleasurable.
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hi guys, why does a boyfriend wants you to cum at the same time as he is during sex? we've been dating for a 3 and a half years now and lived together for a couple of months. everything is going great. he's 48 and i'm 34. during sex he ejaculates quick and me, it takes a few minutes. but he just really wants and asks me to cum at the same time whenever we have sex. so why is it? thank you all. (link)
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I think its a case of wanting to be on all of the same levels as you or fear that he isn't pleasing you enough during sex (men like this do exist) There is a possibility it is an age thing with him (I am not judging the age between you) but I am not a medical person I wouldn't swear to it.
I think you need to decide if the best decision either to fake it or think of ways that will stimulate you to keep you at the same pace as your partner.
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what are some great pick up lines for your boyfriend to get horney
and some great sex positions (link)
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Be yourself and don't be easily offended is one trick I have found with guys. Any comments you can make about breasts and so on will do just fine for most guys.
As for positions most men like: missionary, doggy and cowgirl/reverse cowgirl.
hope this helps :)
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I have the opportunity to sleep with a guy, but there are a couple things that Should keep me away from him (he's married and my boss) but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons not to go through with it. What are the pros and cons of doing so? (link)
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I think you both need to discuss what you want before you go any further. I have had a fling with a superior before and it was a case of yes he was spoken for and yes he was in charge, however we made the rules and boundaries clear from day one:
It stays secret
It doesn't affect work
Do not ask each other to leave the other person.
My own affair fizzled out after a few months. It made me learn that I was with the wrong person and nothing has been said about it since.
Have a discussion with him first. Find a way to protect yourself so that if it does get nasty your job is safe and also ask yourself what you want from it and bring it up with him.
My mother had an affair with her boss while she was with my father. It made her realize her marriage was over but she didn't want to continue the affair as she developed feelings elsewhere. She left that area of work eventually and moved on and remarried.
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i had an abortion about 8 months ago an i wish i hadn't. i cry all the time because i want my baby but its too late. i have been thinking about killing myself so i can be with my baby but i dont know if i should. i just feel like a monster for doing it but im only 17 and my mom kinda forced me to get the abortion. i just want my baby back i cant keep feeling depressed all the time. (link)
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My dear, clearly this abortion was not your fault, it is your mother who should feel bad for forcing you to do it instead of looking at the other options such as help if you decided to keep the baby or foster care or adoption if not.
I can imagine how hard it is for you if you believe that it makes you a monster but I doubt the baby was fully formed when you had the abortion, so try and think of it as cells if it helps.
It is unlikely that killing yourself will bring you back together with your baby, also you are very young, there is time for you to move on, find a good man to spend your life with and maybe have your own family without your mother's input.
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If your a girl Do you still get emotionally attatched to the second person you have had sex with or is it tbat you just get attatched to the first guy you loose your virginity to (link)
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That depends on how you feel about the person. I have only ever slept with three people and I don't feel anywhere near as emotionally close with them as with my current partner.
It can be difficult to forget that first guy and there is always that bad habit of comparing experiences (usually in the mind rather than aloud as guys hate that.)
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Ok so Im 12 and I currently have a wonderful boyfriend but he kinda flirts with my best friend. When Im aorund him he doesnt givve me any special attention though. He is my first boyfriend, and slow dance. Then theres this other guy who is a year older than me (13). He IM's me 24/7 he admitts to me that he kinda likes me but likes other people too. I kinda am falling for him and I dont know what to do. We were playing truth over IM the other day and he said that he reall wants to kiss me. I have never kissed anyone before but he has kissed alot of other girls. I asked him for one of my questions if he would ever kiss me while im still dating ___? and he said yes. I have something in side me that wants to kiss him but the other part of me doesnt because i already have a boyfriend. I dont know what to do because the other guy said 'It would be worth kissing you even though I might get slapped'. PLEASEE help, I dont know what to do :( (link)
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Ok first of all have a word with current boyfriend and his attentions towards your bestfriend as that is not a good start. The 13 year old sounds like he is attracted to you more but I think he is more of a physical person rather than boyfriend material. Boys at that age like to brag about how many girls they have kissed; as you haven't been kissed yet (don't worry that's perfectly normal, I didn't get my first kiss until I was about your age and one of my friends had finished school before she got her's.)
Basically sort out your boyfriend first before you make any decisions with the 13 year old boy, by all means go for it and kiss him but I advise caution.
Hope this helps.
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what does getting laid mean? (link)
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Getting laid- slang for having usually casual sex.
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I've decided I'm going to try to start writing. I think it could be a fun and interesting hobby I might really be able to get into. But of course I have concerns. I've made up the main story line in my head just not the characters names, titles, and my writing style. Lol a lot I know! It's going to be present day non-fiction with a little twist of horror in it. That's the kind of books I like to read. Not horror as in Stephen king but just a little kick. :) For names I'm just going to get that list that shows every baby name from A-Z. Titles hopefully I will figure out. So my main question is my writing style. I think I'm going to look at some of my favorite series and try that style out. That wouldn't be plagiarism, would it? I'm not going to copy names of characters and stuff just the style. That would be okay, right? Thanks! :) (link)
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I touched on a university creative writing course, unfortunately the place I attended made me do another course with it because I could not do the course as a major on its own.
I did a year but I learned alot in that year and wished I could have continued but I failed the other subject.
The one thing that did stick with me was a repeated saying 'a writer is a reader, who writes'. They encouraged us to read more because that is where we get most of our ideas from.
Maybe find a course in your local area? Or just a night class?
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18/f
I used to watch porn on occasion but now I've noticed that I've been wanting to watch it more often. I just feel dirty about it. Should I feel ashamed? (link)
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Not at all, it is just less likely for women to admit it than men, we all have urges when there is no one around to fulfil them male and female so it is no different.
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I a few months ago started watching porn which lead to masterbating. I also have cyber sex. I have seen dicks but only through pics and a video (live and not). I have masterbated with alot o things but never had a girl or guy like have sex or finger me or eat me out or butt sex. Am i a virgin?!? (link)
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To most people only the deed of love making takes away virginity, however in the sense of cyber sex and masturbation you are not a virgin as you have already done it.
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Me and my partner have a very complicated relationship,we are constantly quarreling bc we don't agree in almost anything,but we work things out with sex,I know this is not healthy,though,but it has become our perfect remedy,we just forget about everything,don't talk at all and just have sex,but the next day things usually are the same,what could I do about this??thanks!! (link)
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There is nothing wrong with occasionally having make-up sex, but the key is to make sure you have made up first through other forms of communication.
Whenever problems arise in my own relationship we discuss things with the kettle on and make drinks and so on and hear each-other out and try and come to a sensible compromise before we get physical again.
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Ok, I live with my parents, and I have a three month old Yorkie. I want her to follow me around everywhere I go in the house just like the two dogs we have as well follow my mom.
Everytime she gsts up, they get up and follow her, everywhere she goes in the house.
She's my dog, and I want her to be that way with me. But I don't know how. I don't want her to think my mom is her owner, because I am. But my mom hogs her all the time.
Any advice? I want basically a shadow.
Thanks (link)
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Dogs relate to treats and those who treat them well. I had 5 dogs at one point and managed to get them all to respond to a very quiet whistle because they expected a treat or reward of some kind.
If you are cuddling together, get up and get a treat and stand just a few feet from her and call her to you to accept the treat. Increase the distance every now and then and before long she will follow you each time you move because she thinks you will feed her.
Try and use other rewards like a favourite toy or affection but make sure the dog knows that it is doing the right thing when she comes to you.
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i am 15 years old and my dad was never in my life he is married and said he hates me but to cope with it i drink alot and cutt myself alot butt also i go with older guys i relized i do this because i want to find love my dad never gave me and it hurts me to know its true my oldest boyfriend was 30 close to my dad age i just want to find a dads love and i hurt so many boys feelings i know how cold i am but i dont care i wanna know what to do before things get bad i drink so much i black out i just want a dad love but this one boy he is my ex i think i love him but i havent told him about this side of me he was my first boyfriend that is my age he say he love me to but goes with me ex-bestfriend what to do ? (link)
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If you think you can make a go of it with your ex than feel free, however you cannot blame your situation with your father responsible for the older men.
My own parents have been divorced and both remarried, my dad spent less time with me and started a new family and cut me out for a few years and my stepdad keeps out of all problems me and my mum have because he feels its not his place.
Despite that I have had a few relationships with people in their thirties and some very close to my stepdad's age, but I have come to realize it has always been my personal preference.
I dated older guys from 16 and I am now 20 with a 34 year old boyfriend.
As for coping I would suggest less destructive methods like a journal, exercise or getting air, something you enjoy.
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I would like to the meaning of this poem (372) (link)
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After great pain, a formal feeling comes –
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –
The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’
And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?
The Feet, mechanical, go round –
A Wooden way
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone –
This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –
I believe that the poem is about controlling emotions with the belief that time heals any upset or pain. Then the poem moves on to talk about forgiveness I believe. It is a difficult one and I have never studied her before personally but I can usually get a rough idea about what things are about.
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I think im pregnant with a person that ive been seeing for a year. He has been married to someone else for 11 1/2 out of 12 months.. Does he have the right to know or can I just not tell him and get rid of it? (link)
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I totally respect your decision for an abortion as it can be hard raising a child alone, however I do think you should give the father a chance. I think it is something you need to discuss rather than just go through with it. Arrange a meeting with him and explain your situation and feelings to him. It isn't so much about his right to know, more his right to an opinion of what is the best option for you both and your unborn child.
I would discuss whether or not to go through with the pregnancy, if yes then discuss his involvement with the preparation and birth, how often he sees the child when he or she is born and so on.
A child takes two of you to make and therefore what happens next should be decided between you.
I can imagine it is difficult if he is married and I am in no position to judge you morally as that is not the issue here, but as the mother of his unborn child he does have a responsibility to you.
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So my boyfriend and I were hooking up the other night and we were getting really into it and I was pretty turned on and he went to start fingering me, which I wanted him to do, but he kinda just stuck his hand down there and went to town. Like ALL OVER town. I think he actually got lost in town...anyway it so did not feel good and I was totally turned off right away. I tried moving his hand where I wanted and stuff but he wasn't moving it with me. I'm not sure if he didn't know what I was trying to do or what, but either way it didn't work. Eventually (not that long after) I just pulled his hand out. How do I help him get better without hurting his feelings? (link)
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It is important during such times that you are both on the same page. Try and include him in it by saying what you like and then asking him how he likes it. Don't make it about him not being good, just try and explain to him how you like things done because we are all different.
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how can i write a letter to thank my tutor (link)
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Thank him/her for their time in general, write about a personal moment when they really helped you and especially thank them for that and hope they continue to bring joy to other lucky students.
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