i go with older guys i relized i do this because i want to find love my dad never gave me. what should i do?
Question Posted Tuesday January 3 2012, 12:45 pm
i am 15 years old and my dad was never in my life he is married and said he hates me but to cope with it i drink alot and cutt myself alot butt also i go with older guys i relized i do this because i want to find love my dad never gave me and it hurts me to know its true my oldest boyfriend was 30 close to my dad age i just want to find a dads love and i hurt so many boys feelings i know how cold i am but i dont care i wanna know what to do before things get bad i drink so much i black out i just want a dad love but this one boy he is my ex i think i love him but i havent told him about this side of me he was my first boyfriend that is my age he say he love me to but goes with me ex-bestfriend what to do ?
My own parents have been divorced and both remarried, my dad spent less time with me and started a new family and cut me out for a few years and my stepdad keeps out of all problems me and my mum have because he feels its not his place.
Despite that I have had a few relationships with people in their thirties and some very close to my stepdad's age, but I have come to realize it has always been my personal preference.
I dated older guys from 16 and I am now 20 with a 34 year old boyfriend.
Xui answered Tuesday January 3 2012, 4:14 pm: You need to get professional help, That is your first step.
I also do not have a father in my life, You are not alone in this situation. However, The way you are handling it is not a very good way.
Stop drinking, If you feel the need then admit yourself into rehab. Drinking is not going to solve your problems. Dating older men is putting yourself at risk of being raped and despite your pain these older men will never be your father.
Sometimes we have to learn to accept situations. My father had said and done many hurtful things to me as well. My father even had the balls to tell me to my face that he never wanted children and to have a nice life. Yes, It hurts like hell but you have to find the strength to overcome it. Dating older men isn't going to replace your dad, It's not going to make your life better and it won't take away the pain. Your first step is a therapist and your second is rehab.....Those are the best ways to take a step towards getting proper help.
Let me explain something
My father left almost 3 years ago and he did not just leave me, He left my older sister and all 4 grandchildren. It took me a long time to get over it and i still do have my days where I just wish things would be normal. Everyday gets better because I tell myself I don't need my father to survive as I made it this far. YOU MADE IT THIS FAR and you CAN make it. Your father does not have power over you and your life, You are your own person and YOU have your own will power.
After not seeing my father for about 2 years I happened to run into him at a local Walmart with his wife. As he was on his way out I was just entering the store and you know what? He never said ONE word to me. In fact as I recall him and his wife walked right by me and left without exchanging eye contact. Sure, It bothered the shit out of me but I know as long as you dwell on something you will never truly move on from it. Don't prolong your pain as he isn't worth it and sweetheart I didn't learn that one over night I learned it over time as so will you. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
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