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humorist-workshop
My guy is bad at..."the stuff"
So my boyfriend and I were hooking up the other night and we were getting really into it and I was pretty turned on and he went to start fingering me, which I wanted him to do, but he kinda just stuck his hand down there and went to town. Like ALL OVER town. I think he actually got lost in town...anyway it so did not feel good and I was totally turned off right away. I tried moving his hand where I wanted and stuff but he wasn't moving it with me. I'm not sure if he didn't know what I was trying to do or what, but either way it didn't work. Eventually (not that long after) I just pulled his hand out. How do I help him get better without hurting his feelings?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your best bet would to just tell him what you like and what really turns you on the most! I'm sure he would listen to you right away, because if it feels good for you, that really turns guys on and they enjoy it! And if you want to get really kinky, watch some x-rated movies together.. so he can see what to do the right way and then you can say, "that would be really hot if you did that to me like what they just did in the movie." ;)
♥ Alli
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Lol! Many many many men are bad at "the stuff". Have your tried telling him "I really like it when you xyz my zyx?" It works like a charm! Men are simple creatures and if you disguise a command behind some kinky language he won't even know the difference. Ooooh maybe you guys want to try watching some "adult films" together. When I had a boyfriend that sucked I would use that to get me started and then even his inferior tongue skills couldn't ruin it for me.
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You make a good point. The male ego is very fragile when it comes to their sexual ability. It is also important that both partners enjoy and consent to anything they are doing sexually.
I would suggest that you start by not simply laying there and letting him "go to town" on you. You can rub him through his cloths, kiss and nibble at him around his ears and neck to get him excited and ask him if there is anything you can do that he likes. This opens the door for you to say; "I really would like it if: "you would slow down a some", finger my clit as it is very sensitive, or finger me here and see what happens". In this way your not really telling he is a bad lover, your showing him that you want to please him and that you have places or ways you like to be pleased as well.
Fact is you will have to show every partner what turns you on as everyone has a preference. Some women are more clitoral then vaginal and prefer to have their clits played with. Finger may do very little for them, but gently or roughly depends on the girl, play with their clit and they can't control themselves.
So be gentle with his ego and first ask what he likes and what you can do to make him feel better. Then you have an opening to show and ask him to do what makes you feel better.
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It is important during such times that you are both on the same page. Try and include him in it by saying what you like and then asking him how he likes it. Don't make it about him not being good, just try and explain to him how you like things done because we are all different.
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Just talk to him about it.
Straight up.
If you think that will hurt his feelings, then maybe talk to him about it in a different approach? Like.. asking him what he likess or prefers. & then tell him what you want. Or make it more obvious, next time you try to movee his hand.
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