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Q: I have lived my life to the point that I cannot take it anymore. I have dug myself into a hole I cannot get out of and the embarassment and humility of explaining it to everyone is not worth it. This is something I cannot get past. I want to know the easiest and quickest way to leave this world. I do not own a gun nor do I have access to any prescription medications. Please, please help me.

Every single situation in life is temporary. No matter how difficult today may seem, tomorrow can bring something totally wonderful. Suicide is an extremely selfish act. I've lived long enough to have seen the devastation left behind by people who gave up and left behind enough friends and family to overflow neighborhood funeral homes. Please, please tell someone. Call a suicide hotline. Tell a teacher or walk your ass into the local mental health clinic or hospital. There is help available in the form of medication, therapy and hospitalization. Nothing is worth killing yourself over. NOTHING.

Q: so there's this guy and i really like him....but he dosent date because he said he wants his opptions open...?? but then he gave me a hug and wispered to me to meet tommorow after school.... he was talking bout giving me a good bye kiss since we have two weeks off....but since he dosent date do u think it's because he does this to alot of girls? and he said that yesturday to but ditched out last minute today....im confused

Okay, so you're going to have to ask yourself if you'll be okay dating someone who has already told you he wants to keep his options open. This of course means that even if he did agree to date you there's no guarantee he won't drop you the minute he meets someone he perceives as "better". I personally wouldn't want that. And, you ask if it's possible he does this to alot of girls. My answer would be most likely yes. Guys can be teases too and it sounds like this guy might be leading you on. He could be playing with your feelings because he's probably realized you like him. My suggestion would be to move on. Hope this helps!

Q: Im a girl abnd hes a guy obviously. But I need your guys's help. I tried making it obvious. I flirt I tell him someone likes him but he cant figure it out. I told him id tell him tomorrow. But are they any ways to tell him so we dont ruin our friendship please help asap.

The days of the girl waiting for the guy to make the first move are thankfully over. You're gonna just have to bite the bullet here and let this guy know how you feel or it's gonna eat at you. While it's scary to put yourself out there and take a chance on being rejected, guys have been doing this very thing forever. You say you don't want to ruin your friendship, but it seems like your friendship is being strained because of the way you've been suppressing your romantic feelings anyway. Actually, unless this guy is a total ditz, I'd be willing to bet he already has some idea about your feelings by now anyway and could be waiting for you let him know. Good luck!

Q: Strange I know, but my theater is putting on a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and for some reason Alice just really draws me. I haven't had a chance to see the script or see the movie of it yet, but descriptions of her say she is the youngest bride, a pastor's daughter, and very wide-eyed and affectionate with her husband, Gideon.

Somehow, I just really feel a pull to try and get her as my part, but to really get into her head I have to know what her life was like. However, I doubt a google or library search for "life for young innocent pastor's daughters in 1800's Oregon" would pop up much.. I was wondering if anyone could please point me in the right direction on what to look for?

I just did a brief search on youtube and several video skits came up. This might be a good place to start. You can also do an online search by typing in your web browser, "character study of alice in seven brides for seven brothers" because that also brings up quite a few results. Be specific in your online searches as the internet can be a wealth of information. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: 16/F

I think I asked a question on here a while back about my sister being diagnosed with severe depressive disorder. Well, they put her on Prozac and she seems okay, but she cries randomly, which is odd since she hardly ever cries.

Anyway, for some reason, it seems like everyone around me is getting depressed now that my mood is getting back up! Even my parents are getting depressed, friends at school. It's so hard to enjoy life when they don't want to :( I try to help them and give them advice and joke around, tell them it's not so bad. I try to cheer them up, even being goofier than usual, but it's like they keep coming up with excuses and reasons why everything I say is a lie. I know what that's like, sure, I went through a really bad time during middle school, but now I'm pretty optimistic, a glass-full kind of kid, but how can I help everyone around me enjoy life more? I don't like being the only one who's happy. Basically, I'm asking what can I do to get people's moods up too, if there's anything I can do that is because I know I'm not a doctor and I can't just snap my fingers and go fwah, you're better... So yea, any help?

Try to keep in mind that you can't make people happy, nor is it your job to do so. This time of year can be difficult for many people. The pressure and stress of buying gifts with little or no money all while expecting to keep smiles on our faces can throw many of us into sadness and even depression. In addition, the limited sunshine in most parts of the country has been proven scientifically to affect our moods. I say just keep being your upbeat, happy self. If we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place and we need positive people like you to even things out. By the time January rolls around your friends and family might just be their old selves again. Hope this helps somewhat.

Q: hello my husband just deployed to afghanistan and like 2 weeks before he left i kept catching him lie. like he told me he wouldnt look at inappropriate internet pictures he promised actually. then one day i was showing him how to do something on his computer and they popped up and he lied about it. then started accusing me of not trusting him when he tried to minimize the window. which i was like whatever its not a big deal ill get over it and he apologized. recently his ex messaged him just asking to catch up and talk, this was his ex of 3 years and like his first love. he did tell me that she messaged him, and i told him not to message her back because i didnt want it to start something just like he asked me not to talk to a certain one of my ex's. well today i had a bad feeling about it and we share each other's passwords and i found out on facebook he did message her and had been talking to her. i was completely crushed because he told me he wouldnt. it may be dumb but i just felt like if he talked to her again he would grow those feelings back for her, even though we're married. i'm just so sad he lied to me again. i dont want him to think i dont trust him and i dont want him knowing that i went on his fb because he'll accuse me of not trusting him again etc. so i sent him a message through fb asking him if he talked to her because i had a bad feeling about it, im not sure what to do or say if he lies or confesses it.. i have a feeling he's gonna lie. i dont know why all this is happening we had a really good relationship and i thought it was so honest :( help i dont know what to do!

thanks

You don't trust him and I feel that's warranted. So far, he's done little to earn your trust. You have let him know that his behavior and internet habits are hurting you. Marriage is a partnership and if it's a problem for you that he searches porn and talks to his ex's online then it's a problem for the marriage and you have every right to let him know how you feel. He should be mature enough to realize that. It's not like you're both kids dating here. You took marriage vows. There's a reason why Facebook has now been sited in 1 out of every 5 online divorce petition. Social networks like Facebook make it easy for past loves to reconnect and for individuals to conduct clandestine relationships online. Long-term marriages have ended because of reconnections on Facebook. And as far as I see it you have a double whammy going on here. First, you have his questionable internet habits and then you have him lying to you about it. Having him so far away can't be helping either. If you were still in the same country I would urge you to get couples counseling, but of course the distance prevents this. Perhaps you can join a group for wives of deployed soldiers? It's very likely concerns like yours will be addressed at these meetings and could likely be helpful to you. I hope this helps in some way. Good luck!

Q: How to stop yourself from going to far. Even though you love them its not the right time yet but I'm not sure its going to be that simple to stop from having sex.

First, I'd like to commend you for recognizing that you are not ready to have a sexual relationship. So many young people feel pressure to have sex before they're ready. While your body (and raging hormones) may be pushing you into having sex you may not be ready emotionally. Hormones can be VERY powerful motivators and my best advice would be to not put yourself in the position where you will be tempted to move forward into a sexual relationship. Obviously if you're spending time alone in a bedroom with a member of the opposite sex things can get heated and it'll be difficult to put the breaks on. Make sure you're both on the same page with regards to entering into a sexual relationship. It's difficult to abstain when someone is encouraging you to go further than you're ready to. Enjoy each other's company by finding alternative ways to spend time together. I know this probably sounds easier said than done, but I hope this helps somewhat.

Q: Well see I'm thinking about doing softball for highschool but I'm unsure bc the play is in the spring time same time as softball season and I kinda wanna do the play more but softball ikinda want to do that I'm a freshamn so I don't know if I'll make the play so should I do softball or school play? Also I kinda wanna do softball bc I have friends on the team and this boy I like plays baseball well which one do you think more???

When are auditions for the play? Is it possible that you can do both? You sound like you really want to be in the play more than play softball so maybe you should go with that? You can try to find other ways to get close to the boy who's playing baseball. With your softball practice plus games and his baseball practice plus games it might just be kind of difficult to find the time to do a whole heck of alot during the season together anyway. Good luck!

Q: My ex and I have been broken up for over 3 momths now. We haven't spoken to eachother in around a month. He feels like such a stranger to me and it feels weird that he went from being one of the most important people in my life, to nothing.

Is this normal that I feel this way? It's making me down a little.

Yes, this is perfectly normal. You had very real feelings for this person. He was probably a big part of your life and now he's not in it anymore. What you describe is how it feels when a relationship ends. Time will heal your heart and you'll find love again. Keep your mind occupied with friends, hobbies, school, etc. and it'll hurt a little less everyday. Hope this helps!

Q: I'm a huge Metal Gear Solid fan, and a bunch of friends and myself wanted to create a site that was similar to "My Life is Average/HarryPotter/etc.", only it be "My Life is MGS". I'm not too good at building websites, and I'm having trouble finding out exactly what host I should use, etc. Any tips?

Yola.com is another free and easy site to use. When you've tested the waters, so to speak, you can sign up with GoDaddy.com to get your own web domain. There are also some very good desktop publishing and web design software products (some can be downloaded for free on the web) on the market that make it easy to create your own web pages and sites. Put an ad on Craigslist seeking the help of a novice web designer. Let them know you have a good idea and see if they'd be willing to help in order to gain more experience and exposure. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: Hii guys..what do you guys think of abortion? is it good or is it bad? please let me know what you guys think. thanks

I'm definetly against it. I have been in that situation and opted to have the baby. But not everyone has that option for a variety of reasons. Adoption, in my opinion, is a much better alternative all around. There are many couples who would love to have children but cannot for whatever reason. An unborn child can be a beautiful gift. Every life has meaning and purpose in this world. The fact that some people use abortion as an easy fix to an "inconvenience" is very sad. There are planned parenthood centers all over the country and should be accessed by anyone even considering having sex. It's so much better to prevent unwanted pregnacy rather than facing what to do after the fact.

Q: Okay so I had sex with my boyfriend over the weekend and he was pretty rough and what not which is usually fine but the next morning when i tried to pee it really hurt. Since then, my pee has been a slightly weirdish color and slightly smelly and it hurts even when i'm not doing anything. I also have an opaque discharge. The discharge happens on occasion, I'm pretty sure i'm just prone to yeast infections. But it usually just itches, never burns. Help? It's kind of embarrassing so I dont want to see a doc unless I have to

It could be yeast infection and it could be something else. Burning while peeing can indicate a bladder infection also. Letting either one of these conditions go untreated can cause more serious infections and complications. Please don't try to self-diagnose. Your best bet is to see a doctor and get the proper diagnosis and treatment. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: Well, to start off, my (ex)girlfriend and I had been going out for over 2.5 years. She was my first serious relationship. We're both freshmen in college now, and we broke it off about 2 and a half weeks ago.

I loved her with all i had to give, and she had been my best friend for most of the time we were together. We knew nearly everything about each other all the time. I had no problem devoting an hour or more every weeknight to talk to her, and I spent every weekend with her since school started this year.

The only issues we had was that I kind of had an addiction to pornography, and her attitude tended to make our disputes much worse than they should have been. We would have manageable fights over smaller things, but when i would admit to her that i viewed porn recently, things would get out of hand and escalate. Fights got worse and worse the more we had, and eventually they got to the point where we hit each other.

About a month ago, we got in one such fight that went further than they had ever gotten, and I decided to tell her that it was destructive for the both of us to continue doing this. I seriously tried to break up with her for the first time. Consequently, she threatened to kill herself that night if after I left, so i spent the night and skipped classes for that Monday.

After that weekend, I just didn't feel quite the same. I felt like what she had done was selfish, but i didn't mind giving us another chance. Talking to her on the phone simply got extremely boresome to me after a half hour or so, and things just didnt feel right to me when we talked. I can't quite explain how i felt- i just got repulsed by talking to her after a certain amount of time into the conversation. I used to love talking to her- this felt so strange.

We spent thanksgiving weekend together and things felt better again. I wanted to talk to her and be with her, but she was uncomfortable with the way our conversations went the week before. By the end of the weekend i wholeheartedly decided that i would love her again and try my best to be hers, and we promised to help each other work through our disputes and such. We were even comfortable enough with each other to have sex that Saturday night.

that Monday evening, i picked up the phone to talk to her and after 15 minutes or so, I simply didn't have any interest in talking, once again. I felt like a totally different person from the one who promised to devote himself to her from now on. I told her straight up how i felt and we decided that i might be able to use a break. She doesn't believe in breaks, so it took a lot of convincing, but we decided to go no-communication until that Friday. I talked to her that night, and felt the same exact feeling, and we broke up later that night.

My problem is that i can't "get over" our lack of a relationship. I just don't feel like its hit me yet or something. I by no means hate her, and I don't think about her enough during the day for the lack of her being there to affect me. I'm still taking care of a bonsai tree she gave me as a gift, and i forgot to take down some pictures of her for a week. Neither seeing these objects, nor thinking about her bothered me. Even the break-up went easy for me.

I visited her last week to receive some of my belongings she still had and, to my surprise, I couldn't stop crying. I saw her, and everything came back to me. She told me she had cried about the break-up for days afterwards, and it seemed like she had come to terms with it and was fine with seeing me. Yet I couldn't talk to her or even be around her without feeling completely miserable. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything will be alright, but i knew i couldn't.

Again, the strange thing is that once I got my stuff and headed back to school, i felt fine again. Once i got around my friends again i never thought twice about it. I haven't shed a single tear about this breakup except for when i encountered her to get my things that last weekend.

I feel like i'm two different people: One who cares deeply about everything i used to have, and Another who couldn't care less about it if he tried. I don't know if i should be thankful that the break-up went easily or if i should be worried that I'm not over this yet. How can I go from using her gifts and seeing her picture every day and feeling nothing to seeing her in person and falling apart? I've TRIED to feel sad about breaking up with my Ex, i remember everything and tell myself it will never be that way again, its like i can't convince myself that I lost something important. Its like i forgot how to sense my feelings when i'm not with her.

I just don't know anymore... How should i feel? this just doesn't seem normal. :(

Two and a half years is a long time to be with someone. You're conflicted. On one hand you recognize that things have changed and it's time to move on, but on the other hand you cherish what you once had with this girl. There are several unhealthy behaviors going on here. Your possible addiction to porn,her feelings of betrayal because of it, abusive behavior on both sides and most importantly her suicide threats. Yes, she could be threatening suicide in order to control you, as suicide is a very selfish act, and the threats shouldn't be taken lightly. None of this is healthy for either one of you. In my opinion the relationship is an unhealthy one. The fact that you feel fine when you're back at school and with your friends shows that it's the relationship that is causing you so much grief and stress. If you went back to school and stayed in bed missing classes all day that would indicate that you're taking the break up hard, but this isn't the case. I've seen this scenario unfold many times when one person goes off to college and the other one is left behind or attends a different college. Your life is changing and expanding. I think it's time to let things end once and for all with this girl. If she threatens suicide again the best thing to do would be to report it to someone. I hope this helps in some way. Good luck!

Q: so my ex boyfriend and i are having a huge disagreement over something. we broke up a while back ago. like june. and over summer/fall we were talking about getting back together but i wasn't sure so i kept putting it off and denying him.

now we are having a huge dilemma. he keeps saying that i was hurting him intentionally and that i was using him and playing him (because i kept his hopes up of getting back together but it never happened). yeah i made a mistake. guess what? i admitted it and i said sorry to him. i told him i was truly sorry for playing him but i wasn't doing it on purpose. he won't believe me though. he is so stubborn and nothing will change his belief that i did it on purpose to make him hurt. but thats not true.

this dilemma has been going on for about a week now. us 2 fighting and him saying i was hurting him on purpose but im telling him i didnt know what i wanted and that i care about him and want to be friends and i asked for his forgiveness. I'm practicaly begging him to forgive me. want to know what? because he is my first love. and to be honest, i feel like he and i have unfinished business. (we broke up over nothing really. we went out for a year) i guess you could say i still love him and care about him but he is pretty determined that i was doing this whole thing for revenge since he broke up with me.

any advice on what to do? i've been debating if i should leave him be and let him do what he wants, but i can't stand the idea of him and i not talking. i miss him. i want to be friends with him. i want to prove to him i wasn't doing it on purpose and that i was confused about what i wanted. how do i change his mind? i was thinking about driving over to his house after school to talk to him face to face? i really don't want to lose him because like i said, i feel like we have unfinished business and i dont want to risk losing that. i really care about him and i will fight until i bleed to keep him and make him realize i care about him more than anything and that he should consider forgiving me for my mistakes.

thank you!

There's a reason you describe this guy as your "ex". At some point you both decided things weren't working. But for some reason neither one of you are willing to finally let the relationship go. Your ex's insistence on dredging up the past by bringing up what you did wrong in the relationship is his misguided way of keeping the relationship alive, but this is neither productive nor is it healthy. You're going to have just realize what you two once had is over. People come in and out of our lives throughout our lifetime and are there to teach us life lessons. The fact that this guy wants to continually punish you for what he thinks you've done wrong in the past shows that this is how things will continue to go if you stay with him. Do you really think you were the only one at fault? It takes two to either make or break any relationship. Take a good look inside, decide what valuable information you can take away from this life lesson and move on.

Q: so i'm a teenager in desperate need of money.. i mean its not desperate like i absolutely need money, but i would just like to earn a few buck so i can buy some things for myself like a nice dress for a dance.

I'm not really sure how to raise money without getting a job. I can't get a job because i'm already so busy, i wouldn't have the time. Babysitting is out of the question because where i live, there are no kids. and my parent's don't like the idea. i was thinking about selling some things on ebay? (things i don't use anymore like playstation or movies or books) but i have no idea how to sell anything on ebay. can someone please tell me how? or give me other ideas how to raise money? please no soliciting either. thank you!

18 years old girl.

Ebay requires you to register a credit card with them so you're going to need one. Honestly, Ebay is kind of a pain with all their fees and then you'll have to find time to package and mail your products. I used to sell on Ebay and made a fairly good second income but it really is more work than it's worth. What about one or two garage sales? Maybe Craigslist? You'd probably make more money that way.

Q: My bestfriend and i use to well you can say go out sometimes and we had a thing going on, but then we both becames really really close friends and we left the past in the past. its been a year since we last went out and we are still very close him and i. But it kinda confuses me because everytime i bring up a guy he acts like he is jealus idk if he is just playing but everyone tell us we are going to end up together..i use to think that too.now am just over it.. but i really have a thing for him too.

Why not just put your cards on the table? Take a deep breath and ask this guy if he might have feelings for you. Watch his reaction and listen to what he says. You're the one bringing up the subject so it's fine to wait for his answer before putting yourself out there. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and he'll admit he still has feelings for you other than friendship. This is the only way you're going to find out for sure. What a shame it would be if you both still having feelings for each other but are too afraid to say anything.

Q: 20 year old female. Second year in college.

I have problems making friends in person. It's so simple online when you say whatever, and people "add" you for liking the way you think, or liking your sense of humor. I feel like I act the same way offline as I do online, except I'm a little more shy in person [even tho' somtimes I can be pretty quiet online as well].

SO I pretty much act the same way both on and offline... why do people act differently towards me? For example... I can be getting along well with someone from a class, then the next time I see them they act as if they don't know me. Why would they do that? VS online, when greeted with enthusiasm.

Also, I've gotten more compliments on my looks online than I have offline. When I have gotten compliments offline, it was usually to get me to buy something [or for modeling, when I was a kid]. But the only guys who have approached me were womanizers, just trying to get into as many pants as they possibly could. They were pretty indiscriminate, too. I've never dated anyone since no one ever approached me, and I never thought too much of myself, either.

But the rare occasions I've showed a picture to people online ["i'll only show you my picture if you show me yours"], i get "9/10" ratings [i wouldnt even ask for one, so this always makes me feel weird] and people saying how beautiful i look and how they're surprised i was never asked out on a date, etc. I tell them not to say things like that if they wouldnt dare say it offline... All this makes me feel strange, and I wonder:
-why is it that people act kind towards me online, and shun me out offline?
-what makes me unapproachable offline?

the only people i have been interested in [to date] i've met online. ive been told it's pathetic to meet up with online people for dating, even tho there are a lot of dating sites and success stories, but i keep getting told i seem like the kind of person who would be successful offline. I'm just really confused and sometimes I feel alone and sad over this...

First, please don't allow other people to determine how you feel about yourself. Second, that's what modern technology does to society...makes it easy to hide behind the anonymity of the computer and pretend we're something we're not. These people who sit behind their computer screens are no better, prettier, smarter, etc. than you. That's why there are so many problems with mean evil people who spread hate and lies (otherwise known at internet trolls). Just about everyone has some self doubts. But who cares if someone sitting at a computer in their mother's basement votes you a 9 or a 10? Are they really that important in your life? My advice would be to try to get out into the real world. Join some singles clubs, volunteer, take night classes and meet some real people. You are valuable and are lovable. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Hope this helps somehow.

Q: Usually, I don't bruise easily at all. Lately, random bruises have been showing up all over me. Like on the back of my thighs, & on my shins. (Spelling may be off) Any idea what that could be from? Could I be lacking a certain vitamin or something?

Another thing, my cat scratched me & it won't go away. Normally it heals with in a week. It's been over a week & they haven't healed what so ever.

Could this be a deficiency ?

What you're describing can have several causes. Certain vitamin deficiencies, medications and medical conditions can cause easy bruising and wounds that are slow to heal. The best way to find out what is going on with you is to see a doctor. If you are young, please talk to your parent or school nurse. I hope it all turns out well for you.

Q: I'm going to ask this question for my friend because he's in a strange situation. He is a 20 year old male.

He goes to a Christian college and is active in his faith. He has two female friends in particular that he is close to. The problem is, these girls claim they are in love with each other. I myself am not a Christian nor am I against gay marriage, but from what he describes, these two are not in love. They are actually very obsessed with one another and barely hang out with anyone besides each other. He feels that one of the girls is being manipulative towards the other, so that she thinks she needs the relationship.

What can he do to get his non-manipulative friend back...what can he say to put things in perspective for her?

My suggestion would be for your friend to do nothing. If these two young women are that obsessed with each other his advice would not be taken well. He runs a risk of losing their friendship. I know you've said that he feels one girl is manipulating the other, but honestly as long as the relationship between his friends isn't abusive I don't feel like it's his place to intervene. Hope this helps!

Q: My boyfriend said he didn't trust me when I got my phone taken away.. He thought I didn't get it taken away because I texted my guy best friend right when I got it back.. But I also texted him...He said he didn't get the message.. And now my guy best friend is trying to make my byfriend jealous by sending me messages like your hot and stuff.. Now their both fighting and I don't know what to do!!!! Can you help?

Why do you feel like you have to do anything? These 2 are acting like immature babies and need to get a grip on themselves. I'd also be asking myself if I want to be in a relationship where the other person says he doesn't trust me. Let them work it out and stay out of it. You didn't do anything wrong.

bio

Merry Meet!
I'm a mom of three grown children. I've been married, divorced and now recently remarried. I've had more than my fair share of life's hard knocks and have been knocked down more times than I can count, but still manage to get back up and go at life again. All this gives me tons of experience to draw upon when giving out my advice. I love people and honestly want to help. Please feel free to ask me questions directly if you like and I promise to answer each one of them.

Brightest Blessings to All!!