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How to stop having sex
How to stop yourself from going to far. Even though you love them its not the right time yet but I'm not sure its going to be that simple to stop from having sex.
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Stopping having sex is hard, no two ways around it!
A simple way is to no longer be alone with someone where you could have sex. Starbucks? Fine choice. Bowling alley? Good. Parked car? Not a good idea. Basement TV room? Not a good choice.
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Keep yourselves occupied. Go out and do things which keep you places you can't just sit around and screw around.
If you're cuddling on the couch in a house with no adults watching a movie you're both only half interested in, it becomes really easy to fill your time with things you know you're not ready for, and alot harder to get your mind off it once you've started.
If you're out at the movies, mini golfing, riding bikes, doing anything fun together that doesn't leave you copious alone time with nothing to do, it becomes alot easier to keep things from getting too heavily sexual.
A truism of sex is that you want the real thing. When kids start going down the road with the "bases" and taking steps into intimacy, it naturally leads to sleeping together. If you make out with someone you're dating you're probably not going to be happy with just a few quick kisses the next intimate interlude you have together. If you have oral sex making out just isn't going to seem as fun. Because you naturally want to do more. That's human sexuality.
Adults generally don't step through intimacy. If the clothes are off, they're off. If they're on, they're on. That's because by the time you get that age you've had enough time to develop towards who you're going to be as a person and to get to know yourself, to know when you're ready and have the self control over yourself to not be chomping at the bit.
Conversely, if you are chomping at the bit you have the self knowledge to be able to identify when you're genuinely ready for whatever happens.
You're not there yet. If you're really worried about going places you aren't ready to, focus your time and energy on less sexual pursuits. Try to encourage some conversations (in public, like over dinner) and go find whatever's fun in your area and give it a try.
And start educating yourself on sex and birth control if you haven't yet. WebMD and coolnurse are two great websites for accurate information. Consider trying to get on birth control. If you're asking these questions now you should prepare yourself for when you're answering them yourself.
Get some condoms and a banana and practice. That's a fairly serious tip. Both partners in sex should be able to put on a condom correctly, and if you know how to do it right and if you are with a guy who does not (not all that unlikely for teenagers in America, our sex ed sucks) you might well see him do it wrong and be able to fix it to keep yourselves safe.
Plus, if you're confident with condom use you can assert yourself by putting a condom on your partner correctly if he seems like he's thinking he wants to convince you to not use one (also common among your likely age group).
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One thing my older sister told me to try when I was younger , was to masturbate several times before I went out on a date and it worked most of the time. If he's really pressuring you and you want to make him happy, you can try giving him a hand job. Most guys are happy as long as their having an orgasm they didn't have to do on their own. Another option is to try and be around other people as much as possible and keep the alone time to a minimum. If you have any other queations, please feel free to ask me. Hope this helps and good luck.
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First, I'd like to commend you for recognizing that you are not ready to have a sexual relationship. So many young people feel pressure to have sex before they're ready. While your body (and raging hormones) may be pushing you into having sex you may not be ready emotionally. Hormones can be VERY powerful motivators and my best advice would be to not put yourself in the position where you will be tempted to move forward into a sexual relationship. Obviously if you're spending time alone in a bedroom with a member of the opposite sex things can get heated and it'll be difficult to put the breaks on. Make sure you're both on the same page with regards to entering into a sexual relationship. It's difficult to abstain when someone is encouraging you to go further than you're ready to. Enjoy each other's company by finding alternative ways to spend time together. I know this probably sounds easier said than done, but I hope this helps somewhat.
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