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ex boyfriend dilemma
so my ex boyfriend and i are having a huge disagreement over something. we broke up a while back ago. like june. and over summer/fall we were talking about getting back together but i wasn't sure so i kept putting it off and denying him.
now we are having a huge dilemma. he keeps saying that i was hurting him intentionally and that i was using him and playing him (because i kept his hopes up of getting back together but it never happened). yeah i made a mistake. guess what? i admitted it and i said sorry to him. i told him i was truly sorry for playing him but i wasn't doing it on purpose. he won't believe me though. he is so stubborn and nothing will change his belief that i did it on purpose to make him hurt. but thats not true.
this dilemma has been going on for about a week now. us 2 fighting and him saying i was hurting him on purpose but im telling him i didnt know what i wanted and that i care about him and want to be friends and i asked for his forgiveness. I'm practicaly begging him to forgive me. want to know what? because he is my first love. and to be honest, i feel like he and i have unfinished business. (we broke up over nothing really. we went out for a year) i guess you could say i still love him and care about him but he is pretty determined that i was doing this whole thing for revenge since he broke up with me.
any advice on what to do? i've been debating if i should leave him be and let him do what he wants, but i can't stand the idea of him and i not talking. i miss him. i want to be friends with him. i want to prove to him i wasn't doing it on purpose and that i was confused about what i wanted. how do i change his mind? i was thinking about driving over to his house after school to talk to him face to face? i really don't want to lose him because like i said, i feel like we have unfinished business and i dont want to risk losing that. i really care about him and i will fight until i bleed to keep him and make him realize i care about him more than anything and that he should consider forgiving me for my mistakes.
thank you!
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First you need to find out what you want, to be friends, or get back together. if you get back together, then you need to prove to him that you love him and that you r sorry for playing him. explain to him that you didnt know what you wanted yet, but now you do. but just sitting in between choices will just put you two further apart and i know you dont want that. if it's just being friends, then if he really likes you, he'll understand, and you'll be friends. he won't want to lose you in its entirety, he'll rather have you as a friend than not at all. gook luck, dont be afraid.
molly
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Can't have your cake and eat it too. You admitted to playing him, and you're still doing it by letting him hang on to that one little thread of chance that you'll get back with him. He's clearly in love with you, and i know you say you love him too. If you really do, you need to figure out what you want, and what's best for you so you can both begin to fix things, weither that is together, or apart... Good luck! <3
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There's a reason you describe this guy as your "ex". At some point you both decided things weren't working. But for some reason neither one of you are willing to finally let the relationship go. Your ex's insistence on dredging up the past by bringing up what you did wrong in the relationship is his misguided way of keeping the relationship alive, but this is neither productive nor is it healthy. You're going to have just realize what you two once had is over. People come in and out of our lives throughout our lifetime and are there to teach us life lessons. The fact that this guy wants to continually punish you for what he thinks you've done wrong in the past shows that this is how things will continue to go if you stay with him. Do you really think you were the only one at fault? It takes two to either make or break any relationship. Take a good look inside, decide what valuable information you can take away from this life lesson and move on.
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