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so im 17 yrs old from canada. im in a long distnace relationship with a guy who is also 17 and lives in the usa. 9 hrs and 36 min away from me. We talk every day on skype and have been for 10 months. We love eachother to death! we have so many things in common and even our birthdays are right after eachother. My family knows about him as well as his about me. my dad has talked to him and i have in ways talked to his. He plans on coming up here in the summer for a couple weeks to see me cause we have never meet in person. ...he just hasnt got the ok from his parents yet...and i really hope they say yes.
What im really askin here is, its the hardest thing i have ever done, parents arent really for it and some friends arent eiether which make it hard. Is there anyone who is in the same situation and still together...married maybe? What was it like meeting for the sametime? awkward? and advice? I really want to get peoples advice who are or were in a long distance relationship. Thank you so much for your time!
I've been in long distance relationships before. One was a guy that I met like you did, online, and hadn't met him. But we did the skype thing, and were committed to each other. We did that for over a year, til we finally couldn't take it anymore. When I think about all the money i've wasted in my life, why hadn't we just spent the few hundred dollars and spent a weekend together? I don't know. He still talks to me a lot, and I know he'll never move on til we do meet. I reccomend you two do meet up, because even if it doesn't go well, atleast you wont spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened. Just be sure to be safe about it... Good luck
so my ex boyfriend and i are having a huge disagreement over something. we broke up a while back ago. like june. and over summer/fall we were talking about getting back together but i wasn't sure so i kept putting it off and denying him.
now we are having a huge dilemma. he keeps saying that i was hurting him intentionally and that i was using him and playing him (because i kept his hopes up of getting back together but it never happened). yeah i made a mistake. guess what? i admitted it and i said sorry to him. i told him i was truly sorry for playing him but i wasn't doing it on purpose. he won't believe me though. he is so stubborn and nothing will change his belief that i did it on purpose to make him hurt. but thats not true.
this dilemma has been going on for about a week now. us 2 fighting and him saying i was hurting him on purpose but im telling him i didnt know what i wanted and that i care about him and want to be friends and i asked for his forgiveness. I'm practicaly begging him to forgive me. want to know what? because he is my first love. and to be honest, i feel like he and i have unfinished business. (we broke up over nothing really. we went out for a year) i guess you could say i still love him and care about him but he is pretty determined that i was doing this whole thing for revenge since he broke up with me.
any advice on what to do? i've been debating if i should leave him be and let him do what he wants, but i can't stand the idea of him and i not talking. i miss him. i want to be friends with him. i want to prove to him i wasn't doing it on purpose and that i was confused about what i wanted. how do i change his mind? i was thinking about driving over to his house after school to talk to him face to face? i really don't want to lose him because like i said, i feel like we have unfinished business and i dont want to risk losing that. i really care about him and i will fight until i bleed to keep him and make him realize i care about him more than anything and that he should consider forgiving me for my mistakes.
thank you!
Can't have your cake and eat it too. You admitted to playing him, and you're still doing it by letting him hang on to that one little thread of chance that you'll get back with him. He's clearly in love with you, and i know you say you love him too. If you really do, you need to figure out what you want, and what's best for you so you can both begin to fix things, weither that is together, or apart... Good luck!
Alright this is a long story so get ready for a hard one.
I am a 17 year old guy
Basically my whole life I have been a worrier when it comes to who my friends are and what/who i am going to hang out with on the weekend. I think I get it from my mom cause apparently she was the same way when she was younger. I am from California although I moved to NJ when I was 12 and starting 6th grade. In NJ middle school were "the golden years" espically 6th grade. I had a large goup of solid friends and I guess you could say we were "popular" I did 9th grade over there in jersey and that was a good year as well. I had a good group of friends and I knew i was moving back to California the next year so I made sure I had a good social year with my friends and it was great. In NJ i had three main best guy friends acquaintances and chicks who were my friend to. I have ALWAYS been a fun sociable person and I do all the normal stuff a teenager does.
10th grade I moved back to L.A to a different school district though. I adjusted the first year OK. I got connected with a small group of isolated people called the "drama nerds" I am not sure how this happened cause they are very different than me but they were the nicests and most welcoming. This is what screwed me over cause I think I have had met the right people in the begininng I could have gotten into the more popular/social groups. However I did have a solid group of friends even tho they were kinda different. Things fell apart and towards the end I had a drive to make next year different.
11th grade was academically challenging so social things came 2nd for the first time for everyone and things were kinda "slow". I hung out primarily with the same people but began to branch out. I tried to get in with a new group of "more social" people and they liked me but including me didnt really catch on since they had all been friends for so long. The new norm for me was having a few good friends here and there but not a solid group. I am black and the closet thing I had to a group of friends were all the black people cause we hang out at school alot but they hang out wit people out side of school. The good turning point came in March when I met a guy named Tony. Me him and a guy name Brian clicked well and we because really good friends. We all kinda came from different background but we got along well and smoked and drank together. I met a lot of new people through tony and i got my name out there really well. Although these people were always just acquaintances I could see them in school or at a party and they might invite me everyonce in a while but that was it. All in all 11th grade introduced Tony and Brian
This year Senior year the end!! It started out good but now i am in an odd spot and it sucks espically since this is suppose to be the best year. I have a good amount of friends here and there but we dont all really hang and stuff. Tony kinda moved on to "cooler" people and he dont like brian no more cause he doesnt go for chicks and doesnt like to be social. Me and Brian are still best friends though. To hang out I have to rely on brian and he isnt very social and doesnt mind not going out when I hate staying home. Tony and I hang on occasion but rarley now. That solid group of friends from the begininng is long gone so thats not even an option and its Senior year so how can I get included and become friends with groups that have been around for 4 years!!! Basically at this point im just counting down till college for a fresh start and all will get better but I have 6 freakin months somethings gotta give I will take any advice suggestions anything to make a difference. For all of the cool things that are going on I wanna be a part of them and go but I dont have anyone to GO with. I am well known this year the best so far tons of people KNOW me but I dont hang out with these same people. I try to convince brian to go and hes not down and i try to ask my friends that are scattered about but they are not always interested.
Thanks
I understand what you're saying. Did you ever think about dating? Maybe a girlfriend would be a nice change for you, I mean.. you're getting older now and everything. Maybe finding a high school sweetheart would be more worth your time than finding a new party buddy. Girlfriends like to party, too :)
Okay so I had sex with my boyfriend over the weekend and he was pretty rough and what not which is usually fine but the next morning when i tried to pee it really hurt. Since then, my pee has been a slightly weirdish color and slightly smelly and it hurts even when i'm not doing anything. I also have an opaque discharge. The discharge happens on occasion, I'm pretty sure i'm just prone to yeast infections. But it usually just itches, never burns. Help? It's kind of embarrassing so I dont want to see a doc unless I have to
Unfortunately, you really should make an appointment with the doctor. Tell him you're sexually active, because then if it turns out you don't have a yeast/bladder infection he can set you up with some tests for STDS. More than likely, it's some sort of infection down there, & some anti biotics should clear it up in a few days. They are no fun though! Make sure to drink plenty of fluids, especially water & cranberry juice to get better quicker. Good Luck
20f
How can you tell a guy you have your period. Lets say they started touching you, wanting to hook up ..how do you basically tell them no because you have your period without grossing or freaking them out even though they shouldn't be in the first place or even without making it awkward.
Ah. I had this same issue once! ha I didn't even know what to say. I was just like " i can't " and I was super bummed that I couldn't. And then the next day I thought about it and realized, he probably took "I can't" as "i don't want to"
So next time, I'm going to take one for the team & just tell him I have my period & i don't want to. Because it's really lame accidentally making him think you don't want to go any further! woops :)
Take it to the shower if you really don't want to bring it up! lol. just say you want to take a shower with him & maybe he wont even know....
Recently, I've noticed this guy in my class and we started to talk a bit in class 2 weeks ago, we would talk about school and say hi when we see each other, then I realized that I was attracted to him. Today, I saw him and we started talking to each other, and then I asked him where is a good place to get pizza and he told me the place, then I asked him to take me to go eat in that place, he said he is broke at that moment, but he said he would, and then after that I exchanged phone numbers with him so he can at least have a contact and try talking to each other more. After that, I was studying at the library and I saw him doing his homework also, but I don't know if he didn't see me or pretend not to see me because he was talking to his friend next to me and the computer was covering his face, I'm not sure if I came on too strong and scared him away, what do you guys think? I don't like him, I think he's cute and nice but I just want to get to know him as friends.
It was probably just one of those awkward moments where you just talked to someone, you don't want to say hi again after you just said hi. Or maybe he thought the same thing you did, like "why didn't she just say hi to me or acknowledge me?" Give it time. I think you should let him talk to you or text you first about hanging out or whatever, because like you said you don't want to come on too strong. And you haven't yet, you've done everything right exactly how you're supposed to. So now you just wait patiently :)
I'm sure he's just waiting til he gets some money together so he doesn't look dumb taking you out broke. No guy would want to be embarassed like that. Good luck in the boy search ;)
I want you to listen and I want you to read this thouroughly please.
I am 19 years old and I am in college. I have always been the good girl. Yeah I've kissed a few guys here and there maybe a makeout session or two. But I never did anything sexual. It wasn't until I got to college. I started seeing all the pretty girls get attention and not me. I consider myself to look okay. I am african american, tall and skinny. But I guess it's not enough for boys.
My freshmen year of college, I didn't do much. Around two boys gave me oral and that was it. Around the summer time before sophmore year, is when the mahem began. There was a boy I would say used me because I really liked him and he claimed he liked me. This is where my insecurity came in and basically I gave him head and he returned it. That was that. When I got to school I became a lil more sexual than my freshmen year. On a serious count since that summer I gave four boys head including that one from summer. I feel disgusting. Even though I'm a virgin, I still feel dirty. I read up online and I fit the characteristics of someone who holds onto her virginity so she thinks its okay to do other sexual things. What made it worse is I really regret one boy I gave head to. This boy was a good friend of the one in the summer. I did that when I cam back to school sophmore year.
I just need to know your opinions. I won't get offensive at all I just need some reassurance..thankyou.
girlllll you're in the clear. You are not not not a slut. Your insecurities are just making decisions for you, instead of that intelligent brain you have. Honestly, the one thing that will keep you from feeling regret afterwards is to only hook up with guys that you're monogamous with. (Dating/ 1/1) I know, I’m in college too. When your friends are doing it, you want to bring home a random cute boy too. But the issue is girls get attatched, and guys don’t. So after he gets what he wants, and doesn’t call again, you are left lonely and feeling unaccomplished.
I wont tell you to stop doing it, because guys hook up with randoms all the time. The only thing is, with girls it tends to cause emotional problems down the road. Maybe don’t go farther than make out for as long as you feel you need til you feel better about this year and everything that happened. You sound like a bright lady I’m sure you’ll get it all figured out :)
So I have liked this guy for about 3 years now and were the best Of friends. Then he found out i like him and he feels that our whole friendship was a lie :( I tried to tell him no but he wouldn't believe me. Over time things got better I could finally be friends with him then they got worse cuz my other bff started to like him. The worst part waz that he had liked me and that he has for a very long time but my friend convinced him that I wnt go out w him so he got over Me and moved on to her :( so they decided not go out and I thought we could be friends again. But 4 some reason he's mad at me! Now I find out that he's spreading rumors about me and when unasked him he denied it. I really miss him and I've never felt this wat bout someone. Should i get over him or try to be friends with him? If do try to be friends with him how do I talk to him? Pleez respond
Run from a boy like this! This question was almost as confusing as he's been to you. First he doesn't like you, said you ruined the friendship. Then he looked into getting with your best friend. (your friend also was in the wrong, that's definitely girl code to not mess with who your best friend likes)
You sound like an extremely sweet, sensitive and caring girl, I know that you're going to meet so many more guys with just as good of qualities as you thought he had, if not better. I promise the time you take to seperate yourself from him, and start to live 'drama free' will all benefit you in your search for prince charming. ;)
Well, to start off, my (ex)girlfriend and I had been going out for over 2.5 years. She was my first serious relationship. We're both freshmen in college now, and we broke it off about 2 and a half weeks ago.
I loved her with all i had to give, and she had been my best friend for most of the time we were together. We knew nearly everything about each other all the time. I had no problem devoting an hour or more every weeknight to talk to her, and I spent every weekend with her since school started this year.
The only issues we had was that I kind of had an addiction to pornography, and her attitude tended to make our disputes much worse than they should have been. We would have manageable fights over smaller things, but when i would admit to her that i viewed porn recently, things would get out of hand and escalate. Fights got worse and worse the more we had, and eventually they got to the point where we hit each other.
About a month ago, we got in one such fight that went further than they had ever gotten, and I decided to tell her that it was destructive for the both of us to continue doing this. I seriously tried to break up with her for the first time. Consequently, she threatened to kill herself that night if after I left, so i spent the night and skipped classes for that Monday.
After that weekend, I just didn't feel quite the same. I felt like what she had done was selfish, but i didn't mind giving us another chance. Talking to her on the phone simply got extremely boresome to me after a half hour or so, and things just didnt feel right to me when we talked. I can't quite explain how i felt- i just got repulsed by talking to her after a certain amount of time into the conversation. I used to love talking to her- this felt so strange.
We spent thanksgiving weekend together and things felt better again. I wanted to talk to her and be with her, but she was uncomfortable with the way our conversations went the week before. By the end of the weekend i wholeheartedly decided that i would love her again and try my best to be hers, and we promised to help each other work through our disputes and such. We were even comfortable enough with each other to have sex that Saturday night.
that Monday evening, i picked up the phone to talk to her and after 15 minutes or so, I simply didn't have any interest in talking, once again. I felt like a totally different person from the one who promised to devote himself to her from now on. I told her straight up how i felt and we decided that i might be able to use a break. She doesn't believe in breaks, so it took a lot of convincing, but we decided to go no-communication until that Friday. I talked to her that night, and felt the same exact feeling, and we broke up later that night.
My problem is that i can't "get over" our lack of a relationship. I just don't feel like its hit me yet or something. I by no means hate her, and I don't think about her enough during the day for the lack of her being there to affect me. I'm still taking care of a bonsai tree she gave me as a gift, and i forgot to take down some pictures of her for a week. Neither seeing these objects, nor thinking about her bothered me. Even the break-up went easy for me.
I visited her last week to receive some of my belongings she still had and, to my surprise, I couldn't stop crying. I saw her, and everything came back to me. She told me she had cried about the break-up for days afterwards, and it seemed like she had come to terms with it and was fine with seeing me. Yet I couldn't talk to her or even be around her without feeling completely miserable. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything will be alright, but i knew i couldn't.
Again, the strange thing is that once I got my stuff and headed back to school, i felt fine again. Once i got around my friends again i never thought twice about it. I haven't shed a single tear about this breakup except for when i encountered her to get my things that last weekend.
I feel like i'm two different people: One who cares deeply about everything i used to have, and Another who couldn't care less about it if he tried. I don't know if i should be thankful that the break-up went easily or if i should be worried that I'm not over this yet. How can I go from using her gifts and seeing her picture every day and feeling nothing to seeing her in person and falling apart? I've TRIED to feel sad about breaking up with my Ex, i remember everything and tell myself it will never be that way again, its like i can't convince myself that I lost something important. Its like i forgot how to sense my feelings when i'm not with her.
I just don't know anymore... How should i feel? this just doesn't seem normal. :(
Firstly, I hope you weren't personally hurt by her nagging about porn. It is EXTREMELY common for people to watch porn. That never should have been a huge issue for your relationship. It's one thing if you can't leave your house without watching multiple hours of porn, but viewing some is COMPLETELY normal for males your age.
Secondly, your reaction after the break up is also normal, though the situation seems so dificult. It's like you never got to say bye to the 'real her' the girl you fell in love with, because she changed so much, and was a completely different person after all the fighting.
Lastly, I think you are completely on the right path. The questions are going to seem un-answered, 'loose-ends' and going to seem un-tied, everything is just going to suck for a while. In a month or two, when you begin to move on, and meet other girls on campus, and remember what it's like to be single, I think you're going to be very very happy with where you are and the decisions you made.
Being friends with her a few months down the road isn't out of the question, but I think you should distance yourself from her for a while, and both get healthy on your own. Good luck..